Midnight Tears
by Kodukadvakch
Summary: “You can only hate someone whom you have the capacity to love, because if you are really indifferent, you cannot even get up enough energy to hate him.” Hate and love. Where is the line between the two? GaaraxSakura. Quote by Sri Chinmoy.
1. Prologue

_Alright, so... This is my first Naruto fanfic. Yay for me! By seeing the anime and checking out some manga and japanese eps, I found myself obsessed with the character of Gaara. He's just so beautifully dark and misunderstood... When I saw the episode on his past, I cried. Yeah, pitiful, I know. Anyways, how it seemed to emphasize love on his character really struck a chord in my heart. You see, love is an important emotion in my eyes, the reason for living, and to see him torn from it, forced to endure without it, really broke my heart. So I decided to write a romance fic for Gaara!_

_Now, the problem was, who to match him with? I considered Hinata, but thought that she was perhaps a bit too soft spoken to handle someone as intense as Gaara. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl - she reminds me so much of me! -, but I wasn't sure if I, personally, could make the pairing work. Then I thought of the next pairing which seems to be so popular amongst Gaara fans: Sakura. Well, I'm big into symbolism, and really liked the parallels in their personalities paired up with the similarities in their appearences. You'll see some of these things in my fic, so I won't really explain what I saw. So, that is how Midnight Tears became a Gaasaku fanfiction!_

_Alright, lastly, this will be written in first person, changing from Gaara to Sakura's point of view (Don't worry, I'll tell you when it happens.). Each chapter will contain one part for Sakura, and one for Gaara. And the chapters will be short. Like, between 900-1200 words, short. But this is for updating purposes! I find that if I write very little per chapter, I have the ability to shake of writers block and update more often. Alright, enough of my ranting, onto some stuff you need to know, then the Prolouge!_

Title: Midnight Tears  
Rating: T (PG-13)  
Pairing: Gaara/Sakura  
Summary: Red: Powerful, angry, bloody, vengeful. Pink: Friendly, cheery, tender, delicate. What happens when two opposites are forced to collide? One is out for blood, the other is out for survival. Gaara needs redemption, and Sakura needs strength. They began as enemies, but now, under dire circumstances, will end as allies.  
Description: This is set just before the Chuunin exams and continues through that storyline with many altered twists.  
Writing Style: First person with alternating views.

Review please! No flames...please!

**The following isn't exactly a part of the story, but it sets the mood for what this fiction is about.**

* * *

_The night is cold,  
The bell, it tolls  
Twelve strokes of dismal sound._

_And Midnight Tears,  
Shed from our fears,  
Will fall upon the ground._

_- Kodu

* * *

_

**...Seen through Gaara's eyes...**

_Love._

My heart, it burns. My mind, it burns. Here to love, there to love.

I've said it - I've said 'I love you' - and I've lied. I do not love. I can't.

Not now.

Though I have come close to that glorious emotion.

But not now.

I want to, but _they_ stand in the way. Three things in the way.

_Obsession_ - so dark, so consuming, and fear it brings forth. _Doubt_ - why me? It is a lie. Open your eyes, mind! Open your eyes and guard your heart. Guard your heart again, again. _Hate_ - so close to love. What seperates the two? What is the difference, tell me! I hate because I fear, I fear because I doubt. I hate to fear, and I'm angry because of my own inadequacy as an emotional being.

I feel - I feel _so _much - but I can't show it. I can never show it.

I fear because I long for love and acceptence and am afraid of the possibility of losing something I do not even have. And in inaction, I live my fears and miss the chance of gaining the very thing that motivates me to act the way I do.

Damn life!

Damn love!

Forever the pain. Forever the hope of something better. Forever the dreams, the confusion, the bottled emotion. Forever. Eternity.

Damn it all...

* * *

**...Seen through Sakura's eyes...**

I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about life, friendships...enemies. About strangers I've never met, but love anyways. How one's heart can ache so much for the tears of another. That it's possible to be choked with emotion, and not know exactly how you feel. That you can cry out of joy, and cry out of sorrow, and cry out of anger, and even though those tears are the same, somehow they taste different. That seeing another pour out their heart compels you to do the same.

Why can a simple smile evoke so much emotion? Why can a frown do the same? How can one word mean many different things? How can something so fantastically fearful, joyfully sorrowful, peacefully frenzied, be wrapped up, twisted, and molded into one single word? Emotion. One word to define our actions. One word to describe our personality. One single, pitiful, useless word to tell us why we choke on words, why we make mistakes, why we can both love and hate with all our hearts.

No, you couldn't put a word to what I felt. The pain, the fear, the sorrow swirling in my heart. The hope, the acceptance rising in my soul. My, my, my. You, you, you. But where is the "us"? The "we"? The family I've come to know and trust in these people? I love them - I love you -because the tears I've shed lately have nothing to do with the pain in my life. I cry for you because I care. Because you know no better than the life you live right now. Because you have troubles of your own, but still take the time to love me. You understand that a smile means so much more when it comes from you. That a nod says more than all the small talk one could speak. That it's okay to let someone cry, and it's okay to comfort them. That an embrace holds all the comfort in the world. A pat on the shoulder can band people for life. An encouraging word makes strangers the best of friends.

And looking back on my life, on what has happened - on all the pain and rejection, the betrayal and bitter tears - I realize I wouldn't change a thing. Because if something changed, I might never have known you. I might never have the family I have in you. Our friendships run deeper than the depths of the sea, higher than the mountaintops. We've laughed together, we've cried together, and through it all, we've learned together. I'll miss that. I'll miss the memories, the friendships...the comfort. I love you. I love all of you. You listened when no one else heard. You cared when I gave up screaming and desperately whispered for help. And when I cried, you understood, you embraced me, and you loved me.

I'll miss that. I'll miss you. I don't want to lose your friendship. I never want to leave this comforting haven we've made for ourselves. This place we've come to call home. Leaving...yeah, we're all leaving. Just when I started to open up. Just when I started to know you. Just when you started to know me. I'll miss you...I love you...I love all of you.


	2. Of Running Blind

_Alright, so... I decided to go ahead and put up the first chapter so you could get an idea of the actual story. Also, something I forgot to mention before: Gaara's abilities are a tad bit altered. He can't be touched...at all. Not even in a friendly manner. The sand would shoot up to protect him. Okay, with that out of the way, here's chapter one!_

_-Kodu_

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1**

**- Gaara -**

The sun was hot, glaringly so, and the reflection off the near-white sand didn't help matters. I didn't sweat, yet I could feel the beginning of that cursed liquid forming on my brow. Why - today of all days - did we have to travel across this flaming hell-hole of a desert? Clenching my fist, I suppressed the urge to kill something, for such bloodlust would definitely be an…inconvenience.

_Shukaku…_ I swore in my mind, halting my steps to grab at my forehead.

Yes, an inconvenience indeed…

"Gaara?" came the questioning voice of Kankuro, and I found myself growling at his interruption. "Are you okay?" he continued, and I snapped.

"Shut up, or I'll kill you."

Harsh, maybe, but my inner demon was slowly taking control, and I knew if I didn't find the time to collect myself - _alone _- someone would die before the end of this trip.

I could smell his fear - another unfortunate side affect of Shukaku's power - and felt myself become excited at the scent. At this point in my spiral toward madness, if I but saw a drop of blood, I would lose control.

And losing control would _definitely _be an inconvenience.

"Kankuro," I heard Temari say, and the sound of retreating footsteps alerted me to their departure. Good. With time I could control this anger. With time, I could become at least semi-human again.

Dropping to the ground in a meditative stance - legs crossed, arms on my knees - I closed my eyes and breathed in deep, steady breaths. Surprisingly, Baki - my sensei - had taught me this calming action, hoping it would help to suppress my inner demon. It did, and though my non-existent heart told me to be grateful, I could only snort at his attempts to keep me under control.

Kindness? Ha! Kindness is a myth. Self-preservation is more like it.

Sighing, I focused my chakra to the center of my stomach and evenly dispersed it throughout my body. When it reached from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, I retracted the energy and started again. Expand, retract. Expand, retract. As it flowed like water through my being, I slowly built up walls at different chakra points to block out Shukaku's power. In the back of my mind, I could hear him shrieking in rage at my attempts to suppress him.

Baki, as if sensing my calm state, called me over from his seat at the center of an outcrop of rocks, and I, having no excuse to ignore him, followed the beckoning; though I took my time reaching him.

"Yes?" I whispered in a monotonous voice, taking note of how raspy it sounded. I would need water when we reached our destination.

"Are you…" He paused for a moment.

_Am I what?_ I found myself thinking, letting a small amount of the demon's anger leak out._ In control of myself? Successful at suppressing Shukaku's spirit? Not going to massacre countless innocents?_

"…ready?" he settled for, and I found myself clenching my fist.

Self-preservation, indeed.

"Yes," I repeated, turning to where my back - or, more accurately, my gourd - faced the other.

Kankuro and Temari were leaning against separate rocks, watching me with guarded eyes. I might have gotten angry had I not become accustomed to their suspicious stares. We were family by blood, though I treated them like dirt most of the time. As a child, they too had been terrified of the demon living inside of me. They stayed away, not daring to touch me, not thinking to love me, and in return I treated them with cold distaste. It used to hurt, being spited like that by my own family simply because I was born. Could I help that I had a monster infused with my body? Could I help that I had killed our mother?

But they didn't see that. They saw a bloodthirsty little demon of a boy, and feared me for what I was capable of. No matter, though. They were nothing to me, just like every other living being on this planet. They stayed out of my way - obeyed my every order -, and in return I let them live. It was fair enough in my eyes.

"We're leaving," I said calmly, and brushed past their stiffening figures. When I didn't feel their chakra following me immediately, I paused and turned to gaze at them with one black-rimmed eye. "Now."

They rushed to catch up to me as I led the way to our destination.

A forest of trees stood in the distance like a glimmering oasis against the heat of the desert. And beyond that, Konoha. I inwardly scowled.

I hated it already.

* * *

****

- Sakura -

It was early. _Too _early, in my opinion, though I knew the ache of my limbs would ease if I but found the will to crawl out of bed.

Ha! Good luck with that!

I managed a graceless tumble to the floor, and cursed into the pale white sheets which wrapped around my legs like a specters hands. After struggling for what seemed like hours - _I'm a kunoichi; how the heck can my bed covers overpower me! _-, my trapped appendages were released to the mercilessly chilly floor.

I could already tell: this day was going to be _long_.

Glancing at my digital clock didn't help matters. For a second, I though some maniacal little goblin had jumped inside my body and started playing club dance music in my chest. That incessant, uneven beat could _not _be normal. But I soon realized it was my own heart playing out its merry little tune of panic and fright.

It was five forty-two. In eight more minutes, I would be late. And Haruno Sakura was never late.

Crap.

Sure, it wasn't the most dignified thing a young genin could think, but with my limited knowledge of swear words - unfortunately, I was raised a sheltered kid -, I had run out of options.

Speaking of running out of options, when was the last time I had done some decent laundry around here? My closet was empty, and a pile of dirty clothes lay ragged beside my door.

Crap, crap!

Yep, a _long _day, indeed.

Sighing, I grabbed a random outfit - _Splashes of red, splashes of blue. Sure, why not? _- and threw it in the dryer with a semi-damp washcloth to get the wrinkles out. Thank God for shortcuts! After waiting impatiently for five minutes - _only three minutes left! _-, I flung the machine door open with a growl, slipped off my nightclothes, hastily threw my new outfit on, and bolted down the stairs.

"You're late," called my mother from the kitchen as I passed.

"I know," I shot back before disappearing.

My race through the streets was a perilous plight. It was sad, really, because everything seemed to be working against me that day. The marketplace was my first obstacle. Vegetable stands which, any other day, were clean and tidy, had somehow found it convenient to drop their food in the path of rushing travelers; one in particular. I tripped…a lot. And it hurt…a lot.

And lo and behold! What do I see up ahead just after this little disaster zone? A traveling salesman (There was no better way of putting it.) providing a multitude of spectators a few rare glimpses of fine trinkets from the Land of Wind. Since when did Sunagakure become so successful in commerce?

Pushing through the crowd, I glanced down at my watch to find I had about thirty seconds left - if even that, since I was bad at telling time on a glance. I could make it. It was only a few streets away. There were countless inhabitants blocking my path, but I could make it.

My dilemma was thus:

I could…

Run with care to my destination as fast as my feet could carry me, or…

Use bursts of chakra to gain speed and plow through any unfortunate victim that got in my way.

I glanced at my watch again and slit my eyes.

Konoha could take care of itself.

Closing my eyes, I began to gather all my chakra to the center of my being, and carefully dispersed it towards my feet.

In hindsight, I suppose I could say it wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do; running through a crowded marketplace with your eyes closed. But I was desperate. Though, being a genin of my caliber - knowing how much I had studied the tactical aspect of being a ninja - I should have had the foresight to know such a thing would happen.

Before enough chakra could reach my feet, I ran forcefully into another being, and the both of us went tumbling down.


	3. Of First Contact

_Alright, keep in mind that in this fiction, Gaara cannot be touched at all. This makes his shock and his reactions a bit more believable. Also, Inner Sakura speaks like 'this', all character thoughts are in italics, and Shukaku speaks in **bold**. Oh, and if I haven't already mentioned this:_

**DISCLAIMER: **The characters/setting are not mine. The plot, however, is.

_On with the story! __Oh, and the more you **review**, the more I **update**!_

_Kodu_

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**2**

**- Gaara -**

I was shocked on two levels.

One, that someone had the nerve to _touch _me.

Two, that someone had the _ability _to touch me.

Usually, Shukaku went to great levels to protect my being. After all, if I died, he lost his host. When people attempted to come near to me - whether in a threatening manner, or simply to touch me - a shield of sand would rise up and prevent any sort of contact. This is how my mother had died.

They had sealed the demon inside of me while I was exiting my mother's womb. That natural self-defense mechanism had been infused inside my body while I was still half-way inside another. On top of that, Shukaku's thirst for blood was uncontrollable in the early stages of my life.

Temari, the oldest sibling, had been there when it happened. She told me of the nightmares which haunted her dreams; of the visions of my younger self destroying all she had ever held dear. Her and mother had been very close, someone had told me once. I suppose it was a female thing, something I couldn't understand, even more so than the concept of love. But her feelings didn't matter to me. I only wanted to know what had happened. So, years ago, I had forced her to tell me every detail, right down to the shade of our deceased parent's blood.

It had been a massacre. Even as a child, I had had an instinct to kill; a thirst for death. Simply put, I had torn our mother apart from the inside out. I didn't cry. No, in the first few months of my life, I wasn't human enough to experience any kind of emotion other than rage. I had never been a baby. I went straight from 'bloodthirsty demon' to 'more controlled bloodthirsty demon.'

Apparently, though, my inner demon had went into hiding.

My first reaction was to shudder at the feeling of skin on skin, cloth on skin, hair on skin, _breath_ on skin. I had never truly known what touch felt like until now. It was warm and electrifying; prickly and rough. Locks of smooth pink hair brushed against my neck, tickling; running against it like fine sand. Course fabric raked across my fingers, and with each tiny movement of the person atop me, these feelings intensified twenty-fold.

"Ah…" I breathed shakily as I finally took in our position.

We lay there, in the middle of a crowded street, covered in dust. In my shock, my mind could only wonder what others thought of us, seeing such a mess of two people. My clothing was bundled upward, the strap to my gourd pushed painfully under the armpit, the rough leather scratching at my neck. The other was out of breath and panting, grasping all over me for a hold on reality. The female kunoichi was sprawled on top of me, her pale pink hair splayed across my chest and bright green eyes staring at mine in shock.

It must have definitely been _something_, to put it simply.

Shaking my head, I snapped back into reality and let my cold gaze fall on the girl atop me.

For a moment, the look she gave seemed to say 'Why did you trip me?', as if this whole mess was my fault. But soon it was replaced with regret, shame, and…embarrassment?

She shouldn't have felt embarrassed at our situation. If anything, she should have been disgusted at having touched such a demon as myself. Or, if not that, at least terrified; for after having tripped me up in such a way, I would _not _let her go easily.

She struggled for several moments, trying to untangle our legs and push off of me, and in that stretch of time, I was just as motionless as ever.

Was someone willingly touching me?

"Sorry…" I heard her mumble, and glanced up to see her cheeks stained a dark shade of crimson - nearly as dark as my hair, or the shirt she wore. For a moment, I wondered what brought on such a look, but soon realized that a tender hand had fallen to my chest in an attempt to push away, and it's twin was resting somewhere along the line between inner and outer thigh.

Alright. Time to move.

Growling slightly - _how dare some filthy Konoha wench touch me!_ - I leaned up, supporting all my weight on my elbows, and glared coldly at the girl below me. Only, such a gaze was much less affective when the person on the receiving end wasn't looking back at you. I found myself burning a hole in the top of this female ninja's head as she continued to struggle away from me.

Calming myself before Shukaku decided to rear his ugly head - _now wouldn't that be unfortunate…_ -, I grabbed hold of the girl's arms and dragged both of us to a standing position.

Relief flooded her features, and I could tell she was about to apologize ,when I interrupted her with my harsh demeanor.

"_Never _touch me again."

And I threw her to the ground.

* * *

****

- Sakura -

Stupid, stupid, _stupid!_

How could I not have seen this coming? Of course, with the day going as it had been, I should have expected the worst to happen. Now, not only was I late seeing Sasuke (And Naruto, I guess, but he didn't really concern me.), but I had to deal with a complete stranger and explain to him why I had plowed through him like a thick-headed ox!

'Don't look at _me_!' yelled my inner self, and I seethed in anger.

You idiot. You are me!

'Well, technically, I'm a result of your unstable mind and stray chakra blending together to create a companion for your heartsick self.'

Who the hell are you calling unstable!

'Never mind! Now pay attention to the idiot who jumped in your way!'

I glanced down at the boy below me, and had to force Inner Sakura's anger out of my mind as his eyes locked onto mine. They were the palest shade of blue I had ever seen, lacking pupils and, even more distinctly, warmth. The gaze was cold, threatening; like a raging tempest had found refuge in his eyes and was unleashing its fury on anyone who dared look deep enough.

After a few moments, I seemed to realize that I was sitting atop a very agitated boy, whose body was even smaller than mine - if that were even possible -, was probably crushing him with my weight, and all I could do was stare at him like a dumbstruck idiot.

My face felt hot as I turned my head away and began my struggle to free myself from his legs. _He_ may have been in pain from our position, but _I _was highly embarrassed. After all, it's not everyday you find yourself on the ground in a public place, trapped between a man's legs and stuck very close to his most private parts, practically groping him as you fight to escape such a situation.

It was even more embarrassing when he didn't make a move to help me. Okay, I knew I got us into this whole mess and everything, but he could have at least been generous and lent a hand!

At that moment, I heard a small noise escape his lips, and blushed even deeper when I realized what I had been doing.

Our legs were tangled in a knot only some sick higher deity could form. If I shifted my right leg, my knee would come up and rub against a very _off-limits _place. If I moved my left, it would push against my right and have the same affect. So, very delicately, I had tried to wiggle my left ankle out from under his thigh so I could begin to untangle it from my right leg. This wiggling, though, caused my entire body to shift against his until I was stretched out on top of him like a blanket.

My hair cascaded over my shoulders to hide the redness of my face - _thank God! _-, but I couldn't stop the automatic reaction of my hands. In a rush of adrenaline, my left palm found its way onto the boy's chest so I could push my own chest away from him, and my right rested against his thigh to reduce the movement I made in that area.

Embarrassed couldn't even begin to describe what I felt.

Horrified, paralyzed, wanting-to-curl-up-into-a-ball-and-die…Yeah, that was a little more accurate.

'Yah Sakura! Make you're move!' My inner voice was starting to get really annoying.

What!?

'Come on. You've been lonely long enough. Now charm this kid with all you've got! Yah!'

What the heck!? Shut up!

It was at that moment I felt rough fingers clasp around my arms and drag me to my feet. This stranger apparently had no qualms with privacy, and didn't seem to notice when his legs raked up mine in an almost alluring manner; when his arms brushed against my waist, and his chest pressed into my chest.

Sighing in relief, I looked up to apologize when his own words cut me off.

"_Never _touch me again."

For a moment, I wondered why he thought we would even see each other again, but that thought was but a fleeting whisper as I felt myself tumble to the ground.

'What the hell? Did he just push me!?'

_Calm down,_ I thought, breathing deep, clenching my fists to keep my mind off my anger.

Huffing in annoyance, the red-head stepped over my body like it was just some worthless log lying in the middle of the road.

'Oh no he didn't!'

And that was when I snapped.

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_Hehe...yeah, a cliffie. Review! ...Or you'll never see what happens next... ;-) _


	4. Of Foolish Rage

_Alright, chapter 3 is up! Remember, **bold** is Shukaku. Oh, and thanks for the awesome reviews!_

**WARNING:** Morbid thoughts, hints at violence, suggestive themes, considered rape. (Doesn't happen, don't worry!)

_Review and I'llUpdate!!!_

_Kodu_

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**3**

**- Sakura -**

"If you think you can just walk away after pulling a stunt like that, you've got another thing coming."

He kept walking as if I hadn't spoken at all, though I knew he could hear every word I said. We were barely ten feet away from each other!

"Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you!"

Wow, I sounded just like my mother when we argued.

I saw him pause for a moment, and he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye as if he were surprised I had the ability to speak. Snorting, he turned away again, adjusting the strap on his gourd for better comfort.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I quipped, hoping this would catch his attention. "I didn't realize you were a coward."

This made him stop altogether, and I smirked knowingly at the reaction. Just like Naruto. Just like Sasuke.

Men were typical.

"Cowardice does not run in my blood." He tipped his head to the side, leveling a single, black-rimmed eye on my face. That cold bluish gaze gave me chills, but I forced myself not to show any kind of weakness. He looked like the kind of man who prided himself in pain; who enjoyed watching other's suffering.

He looked like a sadist.

His voice was monotonous; raspy, calming, intriguing in the way a bird with a broken wing intrigues a child. It held danger to it, a certain threat that was unavoidable, but also something deeper. The emotionless tone - meant to hide his feelings - only proved to show he _had _something to hide.

It was like wearing a mask. Your face - your secret - is protected from the prying eye. You are covered - clothed, if you will - and safe. Yet wearing such a thing only shows there is something wrong with your face. By not wearing the mask, your secret is revealed. By wearing it, you reveal that you have a secret. The secret may be hidden, but the mystery is not. Without the mask, you are naked. With the mask, you wear clothes hinting at what is underneath.

This boy, by hiding his emotions, revealed to me that he felt he needed to. Already, I knew a little of his personality. My mind was working in overtime, analyzing his movements, trying to pinpoint his weaknesses. That was the most frustrating thing about my character, though. I could size up an opponent within moments of meeting them, but that didn't mean I had the ability to act on my information.

Snapping back to reality, I realized he was still staring at me with a calculating look to his eye.

Wait, what had he said?

''Cowardice does not run in my blood,'' mocked Inner Sakura. 'What a masochist.'

He continued, and I had to force myself to listen.

"But I would feel almost ashamed to fight someone as weak as yourself."

_Oh no he didn't!_ This time, Inner Sakura and I were in agreement.

Before I could think logically, I found myself up on my feet, racing towards the red-head, fist extended; just wanting to _hurt _something. Sure, a few simple words shouldn't have gotten my blood boiling in such a way, but it was the way he said it which stung the most.

He thought I was inferior.

It was as plain and simple as that. For some unfathomable reason, this egotistical jerk had set himself up on the proverbial pedestal of life, and shoved my face in the dirt while doing it. But that wasn't even a spark on the flame of emotions he had set lose in my body with his careless words.

He thought I was weak, and it _hurt_.

It hurt because I knew it was true. Fighting alongside Sasuke and Naruto, watching as they each performed complicated jutsus above normal genin level; standing by as Kakashi-sensei praised them, encouraged them, while I was but a shadow in their wake, a fly on the wall…

It hurt _so much_, and this idiot had to dig up that pain.

And now, all I wanted to do was make him feel what I felt.

"Yaaaaah!!" I yelled, throwing my fist at his face with all the strength within me. It inched closer, and closer, as time seemed to move slower, and slower.

I could see, out of the corner of my eye, some kind of shifting, wave-like movement near the base of his feet. As time ticked by, that vague shadow of an image grew and expanded until it rose up between us like a liquid wall.

But this couldn't be a liquid. Liquids didn't look so…solid. And if it _was _a liquid, I had no idea what kind would be so _brown_, and had _no desire _to find out. There was really nothing I could do about it anyways. My mind was very analytical - very quick-witted and able to solve complicated problems with ease -, but my body was nowhere near as toned. Even though I _saw _his defense, my body didn't have the speed to retract my arm.

My fist was slammed into a wall of sand, little grainy particles flying in every direction until I was buried in elbow-deep.

I growled in anger and tried to pull back my arm, but found that the sand was gripping onto it, climbing higher and higher up the appendage. After realizing he wasn't going to stop, I began to panic and jerk away with enough force to pop my shoulder out of its socket.

The sand continued to rise, and soon I noticed scratchy tendrils wrapping around my legs and climbing up my body. After I was successfully trapped, the substance around my body began to harden, and I was lifted a few inches off the ground and made to hover closer to my red-haired captor.

"Let me go!" I yelled, and I was just summoning up enough courage to spit in his face when his chilling voice stopped me.

"Shut up, or I'll kill you."

* * *

****

- Gaara -

It was happening. _Again_.

Bloodlust.

_Stupid kunoichi._ I began to wonder why people couldn't mind their own business; why people had to have that stupid thing called dignity. Couldn't she have just let it go? So what if I was rude? At least she could have lived.

But not now.

Shukaku - curse the moody demon - finally found it convenient to actually come and guard me, though I doubted I would need his help when dealing with such a weak girl. Apparently, when hostile, the pink-headed female was considered somewhat of a threat. Any other time, though, my demon didn't seem to mind her presence. How strange. I might have been curious, had she not insulted my reasons for leaving her alone.

Women talked too much.

This one would pay the price.

It was almost amusing when she charged me. Almost. I found myself leaning more towards annoyed the closer she got. Oh well. She would soon learn.

No one messes with Sabaku no Gaara.

I am the desert, and I would be her death.

In those few moments before my sand shield shot up to protect me, I saw recognition glint in her eyes. She must have seen the move coming, and yet she kept charging. She was probably too weak to pull back the power she had forced into such a bold punch.

The fight ended before it even began, and I found myself slightly disappointed.

_This was a waste of time, _I thought while pulling the girl closer. She struggled in the sand's grasp, and I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes. Did she really think she could get away?

I leveled my gaze to her jade green eyes and stared at her coldly.

"Let me go!" she yelled, and I unconsciously gripped her tighter at the harshness in her voice. _No one _speaks to me like that.

"Shut up, or I'll kill you." Technically, she would be dead either way, but if her incessant ranting continued, I would end her life much more quickly.

Her body instantly went limp, and I found myself bored with her submission.

'Take her. Take her in the way all women fear most.'

Shukaku - usually eager for blood - seemed to be craving pain today. He could smell this girl's fear - which meant _I _could smell this girl's fear - and it excited him on a rather sadistic level.

_I'm a monster, not a rapist._ I don't know why I argued with the demon. Usually, I just did what he commanded. It was much less painful for me. And, as sure as the droughts in Sunagakure, that splicing ache in my head cut through my mind as soon as I thought such rebellious words.

'Do it! She mocked you! Make her regret ever living. She does not deserve existence. She is weak. You've had to strive for purpose since the day of your birth, while this pitiful excuse for a human has done nothing but waste the oxygen in the air.'

He had a good point.

As the pain intensified, I found my hold on the kunoichi loosening, and before I knew it, she had broken free from my sand and was rising up on wobbly legs. If I didn't act soon, she would escape.

'Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!'

The chant beat out it's rhythm inside my head, each pound of the drum raising the level of agony which pierced my skull. My breath came out in pants as I fell to my knees, grabbing at my head as if that would rid it of such pain.

I will! I'll kill her. I promise, for mother. To see her blood…yes, all of it. Spilling out, staining the sand. Would you like to taste it, mother? Would that quell your anger, Shukaku? Don't be mad at me…yes. I'll kill her.

'No! I want more. I want her pain! Make her bleed. Make her bleed on all levels. Rip out her heart, and rip out her soul. Do this, and she will be but a hollow shell; a wisp of what she once was. Like you, my son. Like your pain. Like Yashamaru.'

The name sent jolt of electricity through my body, and I had to fight to keep the tears from my eyes.

"W-why…?" I mumbled, pulling harshly at my hair, hating myself for the memories that flooded my mind; drowning me in their dark, icy depths.

I was on the edge, on the brink of madness, ready to let Shukaku take over, when a harsh voice snapped me back into reality.

"Gaara!"


	5. Of Total Breakdown

_So, I find myself updating again today. You guys should feel exceptionally lucky...I usually only update once a week, and even then I'm a bad procrastinator and won't get around to doing it for months on end... Yeah. But this little plot bunny won't leave me alone. I've already pre-written two other chapters, and am forcing myself not to put them up yet. Good thing is, I'm going to bleed this vein until it's dry (Wow that was morbid...). I've been writing for hours non-stop, just to make sure I don't get writer's block...hehe. _

**WARNING:** Implied mention of rape.

**HELP!** I was wondering if any of you guys could give me some info on the meanings of some of the suffixes on these characters names (Like Sakura**-chan**, Sasuke**-kun**, etc.). What does **-chan**, **-kun**, and anything else you can think of mean, exactly? So far, I've been blindly guessing, so it would be great if someone could tell me. Uh...please... _-puppy dog eyes-_

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**4**

**- Gaara -**

Somewhere in the darkness which consumed me - somehow in my spiral toward madness -, the voice registered in my mind.

Baki…

And for once, I was actually thankful for his appearance.

"Gaara, control it. We don't have time for this."

He was annoying, and I just wanted to rip his throat out for stating such an obvious fact, but it was truth, and it was something I needed to hear.

Shaking my head back and forth, trying to rid myself of the blinding pain which screeched inside my skull, I heard the faint sound of retreating footsteps and vaguely realized my prey had fled.

Good. Without her so near to me, I could think more clearly. Shukaku put up less of a protest when there was nothing left to fight about.

Rising slowly, I turned to face the idiot I was forced to call my sensei. I probably should have thanked him, but both he and I knew such a thing would be unheard of. We had come to terms with each other a long time ago. He stayed out of my way, and in return, I controlled myself. It was thanks enough.

Breathing deeply, I turned my gaze towards the older man and tipped my head to the side.

"What do you want?"

He paused, and I saw a moment of indecision flash across his face before he finally decided to answer.

"Our reservations are made. We'll be staying at a hotel just a few blocks away from here. I came to speak to you and your family. Where are Temari and Kankuro?"

Right. My idiot family.

"I'm not their keeper."

Baki glared at me in annoyance.

"Maybe not, but they…" And here he trailed off.

I might have rolled my eyes, I was so annoyed, but willed that urge to go away. Instead, I tipped my head downward and leveled my black-rimmed eyes on the older man.

"But they are mine." My voice was chilly, like ice, and I was almost proud of the edge it held. The jounin before me visibly shuddered, and slowly nodded his head.

Of course. Kankuro and Temari - my unwilling siblings - were nothing but babysitters for me in Baki's eyes. They kept me out of trouble when he couldn't. Well, at least, they were _supposed _to.

When I wanted to be alone, I found ways to escape their watch. It's not like they could stop me. Kankuro had tried once, and he soon regretted his brash actions. I had left him immobile - injured for weeks - and had warned him that should he try and defy me again, I would be much less merciful.

I'm not sure why I didn't kill him then and there. The bloodlust hadn't been beating as hard as it usually did. Perhaps Shukaku found my brother to be a weak opponent? Maybe the demon wasn't interested in blood similar to my own? I thought little on the matter. It made no difference to me whether my teammate lived or died. It was just convenient to have him around…for now, at least.

Sweeping past Baki, I paused for a moment by his shoulders and tilted my head to the side. "Take me to the hotel. I'll find Kankuro and Temari later."

He merely nodded and led me down the maze of streets. It was a sunny day in Konoha, the weather almost pleasant compared to the scorching heat of Suna. People swarmed to the market like flies, as if the light outside was honey, and they couldn't resist its sweet taste.

As my sensei and I traveled through this busy madness, people avoided my touch as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. The crowd parted as I passed, and I found it amusing how Baki was pushed and shoved by the people walking around me.

It was instinct for humanity to shudder at my presence. I heard the whispers that followed me; the careless words spoken when strangers thought they were out of earshot.

"Did you see…?" One would say.

And the other: "His eyes are so…"

The heartless phrase, "Looks like a demon," was never far behind.

"Strange child…"

"Don't get too close."

"Don't cry, darling. He's gone now."

"Freak."

"Monster."

Baki stopped me as we reached our destination. I glanced upward, studying the building with guarded eyes. It was fairly nice, made with sturdy cement blocks, though this probably meant cold nights, seeing as such a substance didn't keep in heat very well. It didn't matter to me, though. _I _didn't sleep.

The roof was slanted, but only just, and the shingles would make for wonderful footholds. A brick chimney jutted from the top at the far corner, and I was already calculating how far of a jump it would be from that ledge to the next building's roof.

Close enough, I decided, and nodded slowly.

"Top floor?" I asked evenly, though I already knew the answer. Baki knew about my midnight wanderings.

"Of course," he replied simply, and I tipped my head to show him I had heard.

Good. That meant I would have access to the roof. Being an insomniac, I had plenty of free time on my hands, and had just recently discovered that stargazing and roof-jumping were a tolerable way to pass the time.

"Baki," I stated, rather than asked. He turned to me with an aloof stance. "I will find Kankuro and Temari."

And before he could ask questions, the sand had engulfed my being and I was gone.

* * *

****

- Sakura -

I ran.

I ran for my life, and even when I knew he was gone, I kept running. My legs wouldn't listen when I told them to stop. They wouldn't listen because my heart was pounding furiously, and I needed to release the adrenaline which coursed through my veins.

I didn't know where I ran to. All thought of making it to Team 7's meeting place on time flew out the window as soon as my feet had touched the ground again.

I could still feel his sand - that disgusting, scratchy sand. It felt like slime crawling up my arms, like the hands of a monster smoothing out my flesh. I wanted to retch, and found myself doing just that when I passed down one of Konoha's many alleyways.

I was scared. Scared beyond belief at what had just happened to me. Not just because of the fear of death, but because of the mad glint that had shone in his eyes.

It wasn't human. It wasn't natural.

_He_ wasn't human._ He_ wasn't natural.

"Oh, God," I cried, falling to my knees to grip at my hair.

_Get up!_ I yelled at myself._ This is stupid! It's over, you're not in danger anymore. Just get up and move!_

But I couldn't. Because fear had paralyzed me more thoroughly than any amount of poison ever could.

"I…I almost died…" A single tear fell from my face.

"I…he…he almost r-ra…" I couldn't say it. Another tear followed the first.

It had been strange, really. To be caught in a monster's trap, staring at his eyes, knowing by the look in them what he was planning to do, yet unable to truly comprehend the danger until later.

I understood now. And it frightened me to unimaginable degrees.

But I was out of danger. I was safe, and would never have to see that monster again.

No more tears came, and I was thankful for that fact. Rising on shaky feet, I took a moment to compose myself before heading towards Team 7's meeting place.

They didn't need to know what had happened. It would only make them worry, and besides, I was safe…

….And I would _never _see that monster again.

**::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::**

Crap.

I was late. Later than Naruto, even, and this little fact bugged me to no end.

"You're late," mumbled Sasuke, leaning coolly against a wooden fence, arms crossed. His casual stance just exuded confidence, and I found myself wondering how he had come to be so _perfect_.

"Eh…yeah," I mumbled, scratching my head. "I know. Sorry about that!"

He just shrugged his shoulders in reply, as if to say 'Not my problem.'

"Sakura-chan!" shouted the energetic blonde who I had, until now, made a point to ignore. "You're _really _late! Don't tell me Kakashi-sensei is beginning to rub off on you!"

I smacked the idiot over the top of the head and crossed my arms. "Look, I know I'm late, already! Will you just drop it!?" Naruto could be _so _annoying.

"Besides," came the voice of our sensei right behind us, and I screamed in shock, twirling around to face the skilled jounin. "Lateness is a habit, not a disease."

God, was I _that _late!? I barely beat Kakashi-sensei!

He merely smirked at the two of us, and tipped his head to the side. "So, guys. Are you ready for your mission?"

Naruto's joyous shout could be heard across the whole of Konoha.

* * *

_Just on a side note here... Gaara was not going to rape Sakura. That was Shukaku's idea. He resisted it, remember?_


	6. Of Discovering One's Annoyance

_If the following sounds famliar...you got me! It's pretty much a re-hash of anime episode 20. I got most of the dialogue from this awsome Naruto Manga site (Just Google "Naruto Manga Online" and it's the first site on there.) I re-worded a few things, but other than that this chapter is pretty much cannon. No Gaara, sorry, but he'll show up in the next one. This is pretty much a filler chapter._

_-Kodu_

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**5**

**- Sakura -**

Half a day later, I found it was safe to say that walking dogs could _not _be considered a mission. Or pulling weeds, but at least Kakashi-sensei had had the excuse of "Building patience and accuracy," for that one. I had no complaints about the river. I enjoyed water, and it had been especially fun getting to cool off from working in the hot sun all day…

'_And _getting to see Sasuke-kun soaking wet,' suggested Inner Sakura provocatively, and I found myself blushing at the image.

Yeah, that too…

"I think _I _worked the hardest today, don't you, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto's voice - _God, even his voice was annoying_! - hit my ears harshly, and I was pulled away from the pleasant mental image of Sasuke-kun in swimming trunks.

"Uh…sure…?" The jounin was unsure of how to respond, but it didn't make much of a difference, as Naruto cut him off anyways.

"I mean, Sasuke barely lifted a finger all day!"

"Uh…" Kakashi-sensei was getting uncomfortable.

"You idiot. I barely _needed _to lift a finger all day. This was little kid's stuff." Sasuke's voice was harsh, yet I found myself applauding at his comeback. Ever since that mission to the Land of Waves, both of the guys had been acting so competitive, but Naruto was really pushing it.

I mean, Sasuke _was _better than him, after all. Why couldn't he just admit it? _I _saw that I was weaker than both of them, and it didn't matter to me…too much.

Okay, maybe I did care, but there was nothing I could do about it. I was resigned to the fate of being weaker, just like Naruto was resigned to the fate of being dumber.

"You're wrong!" The blonde was persistant. "Isn't that right, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Well…" the jounin hesitated, looking left to right before finally settling his gaze on the sun. "Uh…would you look at that! It's way past time for me to get these mission reports done! I'll see you guys tomorrow!" And with a wave of the hand, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

I glanced over and saw Sasuke rolling his eyes. "If that's it, I'm going home."

'Alright!' yelled Inner Sakura. 'This is our chance! Let's go!'

Calling to my teammate before he could leave, I gave him a breathtaking smile and tilted my head just so.

"Sasuke-kun, wait!" He paused, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. "How about we work on our teamwork now… Just the two of us!"

The silence seemed to stretch on for hours before he finally responded.

"You're the same as Naruto…"

I felt my heart sinking, hoping that maybe he was just joking.

"Annoying."

But I knew he wasn't.

The ashen look on my face didn't seem to bother him, and in the back of my mind I thought how very cold that was of him. But I couldn't think that! This was Sasuke-kun! The incredible, mysterious, perfect ninja whom I loved!

He continued, though, ignoring my pain.

"Look, if you have time to spend with me, you should go train or something. You're worse than Naruto."

Worse than Naruto….

Worse than _Naruto_…

Ouch. That hurt.

He was gone before I had time to recover from my shock. I felt like crawling into a hole and never coming back out. I felt like curling up into a ball and starving myself to death. I didn't realize weakness could make you feel so…_weak_.

It barely registered in my mind that I was actually moving. But it didn't really matter. Sasuke thought I was worse than Naruto, and no one cared about Naruto, so that meant no one cared about _me_.

What was this darkness tickling the edges of my vision? Was night coming on so quickly? Or maybe it was the despair of disappointment.

Sasuke thought I was worse than Naruto.

I kept walking, though I wasn't quite sure how I found the strength. I was fairly certain that, had I wandered into the middle of the street, a car would run me over before I realized I was in danger.

"Sakura-chan! Forget Sasuke! You can train with me!"

That voice…

That voice…

My blood started to boil, and I clenched a shaky fist, but kept walking forward, away from the source of my misery. Forget Sasuke-kun? What next; quit breathing?

The idiot.

I just sort of wandered there for a while, not really paying attention to anything else. When I started hearing voices, I tried to tune everything in just so I wouldn't go mad in my despair.

"What!?" a little kid was saying, and I glanced over to find three tiny midgets bugging the heck out of Naruto. "But you said you'd play ninja with us!"

I forced my slumped over form to face the energetic blonde, and just looked at him with an empty gaze.

"A ninja playing ninja…?" I said dully, not really caring, but grasping for anything that might pull me out of this darkness.

_'You're worse than Naruto.'_ Sasuke-kun's voice rang through my head.

_How can I be worse than that…?_ I wondered, staring at the idiot blandly.

"Hey, boss, who's the girl?" The kid's voice broke through my thoughts, and I glanced at him with disinterest. "Oh, I get it," he was saying, with a smirk on his young face. "She's your…" and the motion he made with his pinky made me choke in horror.

Girlfriend. That meant girlfriend.

'He better not…' Inner Sakura was saying, but it was already too late.

Naruto, the idiot, had his hand to the back of his head and was rubbing it lightly, smiling at those kids with a goofy grin. "Well, yeah, you got me…"

And before I even had time to think, I found that my fist had connected with the blonde's jaw, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel so weak.

"Wrong!" I screamed as the blow connected, and felt great satisfaction in seeing Naruto laying on the ground, beaten to a blood pulp.

How the heck am I worse than him!?

The leader of the midget group went off. "What? Boss!? Boss, are you alright? Why you…" He turned to me, raising a fist to my face in defiance. "You ugly witch!"

'Oh, he's dead now," Inner Sakura smirked, cracking her knuckles as I did the same on the outside.

I almost felt bad beating up a little kid. Almost. When he was in the same state as Naruto - and laying beside him, too - I turned my back on them.

"Idiots," I threw back before stalking off.

But the kid's words stopped me in my tracks.

"Ah, that giant foreheaded…are you sure she's a _girl_, boss?"

'I think he wants seconds,' mocked Inner Sakura, and I couldn't have agreed with her more.

"Yaaaah!" I yelled, chasing after them with the force of a hurricane.

"Ahhh - Oh…" The annoying kid's scream was cut off as he ran straight into a black-clad stranger.


	7. Of Strangers and Old Acquaintances

_Once again, most of the dialogue was found on an MSN Space called "Naruto Manga Returns"...or something like that. Enjoy, and review!_

_-Kodu_

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**6**

**- Sakura -**

I stopped dead in my tracks. Two strangers had entered the playing field - a blonde-haired girl and a guy with…_makeup?_…on. The girl beside the black-garbed man just looked at him in annoyance, her posture stating she would like to be anywhere but here.

"Hey," the bigger guy said, grabbing the kid by the collar and hoisting him up to his level. "That hurt, you little brat."

"Konohamaru!" shouted Naruto, and I silently pleaded that he wouldn't do something stupid. These new guys looked dangerous. Their chakra felt way above our level.

"Don't Kankuro," the girl said, putting her hands on her hips. "We'll get in trouble." She sounded exceptionally annoyed, rather than worried.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, trying to sound as respectful as possible, though my voice came out shaky and submissive. "We were just playing around…"

"Hey ugly, let go of him!" Naruto cut me off, and I felt like smacking him upside the head. Could he never shut up?

The other guy ignored this, though, and instead focused on the kid in his hands - Konohamaru, Naruto had called him.

"Hey, kid. Do you wanna play?" He shook the kid around in mid-air, jarring his smaller body.

"Jerk!" shouted the blonde beside me, and he took off running in the direction of the stranger. A few steps later found Naruto planted face-first in the dirt.

"Leaf genins are weak," the guy stated casually.

_Who are these people,_ I wondered breaking out into a sweat. If we didn't do something soon, Konohamaru could be in some serious danger.

"Konohamaru-chan!"

"Konohamaru-kun!"

The other kids were pleading, desperate.

"Let…go…of me!" the trapped child said, and Naruto blew up.

"Hey you! Take your hands off him, jerk! If you don't let him go, I'll make you pay!"

Jumping the blonde before he could say anything else, I locked my arms around his neck in a death hold and whispered harshly in his ear. "You idiot! What are you thinking!?"

"Hey," said the older guy, making me push Naruto away and give him my full attention. "You're annoying." His statement was directed towards Naruto, and I found myself agreeing with the stranger.

He turned back to Konohamaru and smirked.

"Basically, I hate midgets. Expecially annoying ones that are rude. Makes me want to kill them…"

_What_ did he just say!

I started to shake. _Why _couldn't I be strong enough to help? _Why _did I have to be so weak!? This little kid could _die_, simply because we weren't _strong enough_!

"Whatever," the female was saying, turning her back on the whole scene. "Look, do what you want. I'm not involved."

"You jerk!!" shouted Naruto, and ran for the guy just as he was pulling back his fist.

"Hey!" the black-clad ninja shouted, grabbing at his arm, and released Konohamaru before Naruto even reached them.

A single stone clattered to the ground, and I found my gaze riveted to the object. This simple little rock had saved that kid's life. But how the heck did it move!?

"What are you doing in our village?" asked a husky, familiar voice, and I turned my eyes to Sasuke. He was up in a tree, leaning against one of its lower hanging branches, and tossing a couple of spare stones up into the air before catching them on their way back down.

"Sasuke-kun!" I shouted, relieved beyond belief that a _real _ninja had come to save the day. Naruto had been a joke.

"You piss me off," seethed the now-injured ninja, still rubbing at his arm where the rock had struck.

"Get lost," Sasuke shot back, and I squealed with delight at his authoritative tone.

"So cool! Get him, Sasuke-kun!"

"Hey punk, get down here!" the other was saying, and it was easy to tell he was annoyed. "I hate show-offs like you the most…" He proceeded to take a strange, rag-wrapped thing off his back. It was suspiciously shaped like a body, and I found myself shuddering at the thought of it being a corpse.

"Wait, you're using Karasu?" The girl reached her hand forward, as if trying to stop the other, but a chilling voice stopped everyone altogether.

"Kankuro, stop it."

* * *

****

- Gaara -

I couldn't find them at first.

How annoying.

The prospect of a hunt was amusing to me, so I suppressed the urge to simply meditate and seek out their unique chakra energies within the city. Instead, I followed different signs, like familiar footprints, or their scents (I really wanted to blame Shukaku for this particular talent, but I wasn't completely certain that this was just the beast's heightened senses affecting my own.).

I had become skilled at roof-jumping long ago, my presence going undetected by the people below me. Using small bursts of chakra to strengthen my legs, I would hop from one precarious ledge to the next.

Up here, all alone, with the wind in my face and the sun beating down on my shoulders, I felt _free_. Free from the glaring eye Sunagakure watched me with; free from the shackles of shame which bound my loyalty to my country; free from the spiraling madness of Shukaku's spirit.

I stopped for a moment - crouching low on the edge of a slanted roof - and closed my eyes, breathing in deeply.

Sometimes - especially in the solitude of night - I would lengthen my breaths and clear my mind until I felt a sense of detatchment from my body. I liked to imagine this was what a dream felt like. That the strange sensation of floating away - of losing your grip on the world, and letting you walls crumble until all that is left is silent image of your true self - could be a taste of what everyone around me took advantage of every night.

Dreams.

Sleep.

I wonder what it felt like…

A familiar voice broke my thoughts, and my eyes shot open quickly. Collecting myself, I looked down upon the alleyway below me and saw the two I had been searching for.

And from the looks of it, Kankuro was being an idiot…again.

Using the sand to teleport me, I appeared on the bottom edge of a shade tree's branch, using a controlled amount of chakra in my feet to hold me upright. I was just in time to see the conclusion of this battle, and was a little surprised when the kid next to me actually struck Kankuro with a stone. He was pretty good to do something like that…

With arms crossed and eyes narrowed, I confronted my blood-brother.

"Kankuro, stop it."

All eyes turned to me, and I could sense the shock of the boy I had appeared beside. He shouldn't have been so shocked, really. Few people had the ability to sense my presence, especially when I didn't want them to.

Ignoring the stunned looks, I pressed on. "You're an embarrassment to our village."

"Ga…Gaara!"

Kankuro's nervousness was amusing, really.

"Losing yourself in a fight? How pathetic. Why do you think we came to the leaf village?"

He was sweating, and I found myself getting more annoyed by the second.

"Listen Gaara, they started it, and -"

"Shut up," I cut him off, leveling my gaze on his frightened form. "Or I'll kill you."

"O-okay, Gaara. Sorry, I'm sorry!"

Temari lifted her hands, shaking them back and forth in a sign of defeat. "Yeah, I-I'm sorry too! Really sorry…"

She was an idiot. I wasn't even angry with her, yet she apologized. She hadn't been the one to start this fight. That much was obvious. Temari was too emotional, but she wasn't one to elicit a physical argument. Whatever.

Tilting my head towards the boy on the other ledge, I spoke. "I apologize for his behavior." The other only nodded, so I gathered sand around my body and teleported to the ground.

"We didn't come here to play around," I stated evenly as my siblings came into view. I straightened up my posture and looked pointedly at Kankuro.

They took a step back from my form, not wanting to be near me, for they could surely sense my annoyance at having to stop them from doing such a stupid act.

"I know that…" answered my brother, but I didn't believe him.

"Let's go…" I stated, looking up to gaze at the weaklings around me with disinterest.

With disinterest, that is, until I spotted a shot of familiar pink hair.

Kunoichi…

And Shukaku's anger came back full force.

* * *

_R&R please!_


	8. Of Second Contact

_Enjoy the longest chapter so far!_

_-Kodu_

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**7**

**- Sakura -**

Oh…my…God.

Could this day have gotten any worse?

My knees nearly buckled from the shock of seeing that monster again. Those cold, black-rimmed eyes, and hair the shade of blood, made me want to retch. It took him a moment to notice me - and in that time, every bone in my body screamed at me to run, though I knew I wouldn't get far -, but when that chilling gaze settled on my form, I knew my life had ended.

The look in his glare was one of pure hatred.

Of death.

In panic, I turned on my heel to run as far away from that monster as I could, but a tendril of sand snaked around my ankle and pulled me to the ground.

Thrusting my hands forward to catch myself, I landed on the ground with a rough _thump_.

"G-Gaara…?" questioned the female voice. Apparently her words didn't stop him, as the sound of footsteps soon followed her shaky proclamation.

"_You_…" hissed that achingly familiar voice, and I shuddered from head to foot.

"Hey, buddy!" shouted Naruto, and for once I was infinitely glad for his brash protectiveness. A shadow fell across my form, and I glanced up to see the blonde had moved in between me and the sand-controlling monster.

"You're in my way," this beast stated blandly, and with a toss of the hand Naruto found himself thrust against the wooden fence with a wave of sand pinning his struggling body.

"Hey," I heard Sasuke shout calmly, and threw my head in his direction, my body aching from it's position on the hard ground.

"What do you want with Sakura?" He sounded bored, but held a certain edge to his voice, and I would have swooned at that tone had I not been so paralyzed with fear.

Crossing his arms, my enemy shot Sasuke a bored look before turning his attention back towards me. "I want to kill her."

In an instant I darted to my feet, ready to defend myself, because I sure as hell wasn't going to sit around and let some freak steal my life. But before I could make a move, a rush of wind blew across my face and Sasuke appeared before me, his stance defensive…_protective_.

"Why?" His voice was still calm, though his posture said otherwise. He was angry at this freak. Angry at him…_for me_.

"Do I need a reason?" Came the other's husky reply.

"Yes."

I inched my hand towards the pouch resting on my hip. Slowly, carefully, my fingers slid inside and grasped the handle of a kunai I had safely tucked away. With gentle ease, I pulled the weapon from it's holster and tensed my body, ready to pounce at any moment, when a grainy substance bound my wrist and shocked me into dropping my only source of protection.

I glanced down to find a thin tendril of sand - the very same one that had tripped me - was now holding the abandoned kunai. It was pointed directly between Sasuke's shoulder blades, and with the flick of a wrist, would stab my teammate in the back.

I looked up to find the red-head staring into my eyes, and realized he was trying to tell me something.

"This is between me and kunoichi," he said coolly, never taking his gaze away from my face.

"When you threaten my teammate, it becomes my problem too." Sasuke was only trying to help, but I realized that if he kept this up, he would be killed.

Still looking at me, the sand-controller slit his eyes and tipped his head to the side. "Why don't we let the girl decide?"

It was then that I knew exactly what he was saying to me. 'Face your punishment, or the boy dies.' There was only one thing I could do with a choice like that.

"Sasuke," I said, forcing my voice to remain calm. "I can handle this."

Glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, my teammate 'hmphed.' "Sakura, we both know that's a lie."

For a fleeting moment, I wondered why no one else could see the weapon threatening an unsuspecting Uchiha, but realized that my own body was foolishy standing between the kunai and everyone else's line of vision.

I had to get Sasuke out of there, no matter what. I had created this situation, and it was up to me to fix it.

"Sasuke, leave. Now. I don't want you here." The words stung my throat, but my voice remained harsh and angry. It wouldn't do to have him thinking I was acting…even though I was. Still, I needed to be as convincing as possible.

"Sakura, you're an idiot." Those cruel words brought tears to my eyes, but I forced myself to maintain this façade.

"And you're a stubborn, arrogant jerk. Now leave." God, that was hard to say.

He seemed shocked for a moment before a smirk slowly found its way onto his features. "Huh, seems you are getting stronger." Then, glancing at the red-head one more time, he shrugged his shoulders and stepped away.

"Fine, Sakura. If you think you can handle it." I could hear the hint of mockery in his voice, but was relieved that he had actually moved. The kunai dropped to the ground before anyone could notice it was there, and I found my gaze dropping with it.

Now, nothing stood between me and the monster set on killing me. I felt bare, naked, and unprotected without a weapon to hold in my hands. My whole body shuddered as I saw a pair of sandaled feet advance.

This was it.

My life was over.

* * *

****

- Gaara -

I stepped forward as soon as the boy was out of the way. With arms crossed and head tipped to the side, I studied my prey with a calculating eye. She was weak, and it would be almost shameful to kill someone this pitiful, but Shukaku was thirsting for her blood, and I was not one to deny my demon.

I saw something wet and glistening drip off her nose and onto the ground, and wondered for a moment what it was. After realization dawned on me, I slit my eyes and stepped closer.

"You're crying." It wasn't a question.

"I-I'm not afraid…" Yeah, right. I could hear the tremble in her voice, and it annoyed me that she would try and deceive me.

"You're lying."

"No I'm not!" Her voice carried throughout Konoha - _I had never realized women could be so loud_ -, and as if to prove her statement, the kunoichi took a step towards me and pointed a bold finger in my face.

"I'm not afraid," she continued, this time in a harsh whisper. "I'm angry!"

I was a little shocked at the movement - no one had ever stood up to me in such an insolent manner before - , and the girl kept rambling at me in my moment of silence.

"I'm angry because you're a heartless beast who doesn't have the decency to watch where he's going, or the humility to admit when he makes mistakes! Yeah, I ran into you. Big deal! You don't have to go berserk about the whole situation!"

I wanted to kill her.

It was as pure and simple as that.

Her squawking voice beat against my skull like a high-pitched drum, and all I wanted to do was reach out and strangle her paper-thin neck. Shukaku's chakra flowed through my veins like a drug, and I found myself clenching my fists, the ache in my head growing with each passing moment as the bloodlust took control.

"Yes," I said, clutching at my skull like it was my last lifeline to reality. "Yes, she will die, mother. Is that what you want? To see her blood…on the ground…dark, and red…so lovely, so tasteful…"

It's a strange feeling when Shukaku takes control. I can sense my body taking a step back from itself, my soul hiding in a little corner of my mind as the beast rears forward in righteous anger. It's as if I no longer have control of my own limbs, yet I can see every action I take, feel every sensation the demon creates.

This inability to control my body frightened me to unimaginable degrees. Shukaku mocked my helplessness, taunting me with tiny bursts of free-willed movement, then took it away just as quickly. The only thing that could cure this horrible possession was to be bathed in blood.

And I _would_ be cured.

I glanced at the girl with bloodshot eyes and grinned a wicked grin.

There was no doubt of that.

Stepping back, she shook her head from side to side and spoke in a shaky voice. "W-what are you t-talking about?"

"Mother…" I whispered, slitting my eyes. "You will not be denied."

"Get away from her," shouted the spikey-haired blonde, and I glanced at him in distaste. What was with that kid? Risking his life to help another. It was foolishness, and I didn't understand it.

"Why?" I shot back at him, and he seemed shocked that I would respond to his threats. As if this little fact gave him a boost of chakra, he continued his struggles with renewed vigor.

"Because…you…will regret…it…" he said between pants of breath.

Growling, I stepped closer to the girl and watched as this boy thrashed about in anger. I truly didn't understand his response, and he hadn't answered my question. Was this nothing but mere stupiditiy, or did his source of strength run deeper?

Frustrated now, I tightened the sand around his body and watched as he winced in pain. Now _that _was satisfying.

"Why do you struggle for such a weak kunoichi?" This time, he couldn't be confused with my question. I knew there was something about the girl that caused his reaction, I just wasn't sure what that something was.

"Because!" he yelled, ignoring the pain of my sand as I squeezed him, bringing him dangerously close to his breaking point. "She…she's my teammate…and my friend…and I won't let you hurt her!"

And then it hit me.

Love.

Affection.

These were the emotions behind his attitude. These were the feelings driving his will. This kunoichi was the source of his strength…

...Which was all the more reason for me to kill her.

I stepped forward, watching as the girl shook in her shoes - whether from fear, or anger, I did not know.

"Who are you?" I questioned coolly. It was amusing for me to know the names of my prey. It made their deaths more personal…made it more fun.

"Why should I tell you!?" Her tone surprised me, and I concluded that she was angry, not afraid.

Clenching a shaking fist, I came up in front of her and leaned forward until our noses were practically touching. With slit eyes, I hissed in her face, "Your death would be a lot more painless if you would just _cooperate_."

"Look, kid," she yelled, stepping forward, making me tip my head back a bit. "I don't know who you _think _you are, but let me tell you who you _really _are…"

_Great_, a lecture. I didn't have time for a woman's ramblings. Shukaku was raging inside of me like a tempest, and it was becoming very painful. Right now, I had control, if but for a moment. In a few seconds, my demon would possess me, and I would end up killing this girl in a more…_painful_…manner than necessary.

**'Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!'** The chant beat inside my skull, becoming more painful by the second.

I stood for a moment, completely paralyzed, unable to move my own limbs. My heart ached with an unknown emptiness, and everything around me felt cold. Shukaku was taking control, and I shuddered at this fact.

'If you won't kill her, I will!'

_Wait, _I screamed in my mind, trying my hardest to grasp at the fading tendrils of reality surrounding me._ No, not yet! I'm not ready! Not like that! _An image of what Shukaku would do to the girl flashed through my mind, and I knew I had to stop him, somehow. I was a monster, a demon-possessed beast, but I was _not_ that cruel, and there was _no way in hell_ I would allow my curse to force me into such a role.

So I fought. I fought with all my might, and was, surprisingly, successful. Though, that success came at a great price. Wrenching my body free from the demons grasp, my nervous system released the pent-up movement and jerked my body forward.

What was the price, you ask?

Well, two tense bodies cannot hold such a close position forever without giving some leeway for mistakes. One stood frozen to the spot, while the other lurched forward in surprise. Neither could prevent the results of such close contact and such swift movement.

Our foreheads pressed against each other, and my eyes widened as I felt soft lips touch my own.

* * *

_You guys are gonna kill me for leaving you with such a cliffie...hehehe... But, hey, the more you review, the faster I update. ;-)_

_And since I know there will be questions, let me clear this up..._

_1) I haven't forgotten about Gaara's sand shield._

_2) Gaara sees Naruto's friendly love. Not love love._

_3) Sasuke is acting like this because he thinks Sakura is as annoying as Naruto, and just wants her to improve herself._


	9. Of Surprising Sentiments

_Thanks for the reviews! I knew that cliffie would be a success..._

_-Kodu_

**

* * *

**

**8**

**- Gaara -**

I was speechless.

For one, someone's lips were pressed against my own. It's hard to talk when you can't move your mouth.

For another, someone's _lips _were pressed against my own. I may have been deprived of all contact since childhood, but I wasn't naïve enough to not understand the sentimental value of such a gesture.

A kiss meant affection.

Or, in this case, a kiss meant horrific shock and nervous contemplation.

_Contemplation,_ because this small touch of mouths wasn't as unpleasant as I would have liked to pretend. In fact, such contact felt very…_nice._

I heard chuckling in the back of my head, and would have clenched my eyes shut had a pair of jade orbs not been piercing them open.

_Shukaku…_ I growled angrily in my mind._ Damn you!_

**'Don't blame me,' **he scoffed, still chuckling at the mess he had created.** 'Blame teenage hormones. I'm not the one enjoying it.'**

_You could have at least brought up the sand shield you so 'faithfully' protect me with. That would have stopped her!_ Wait a minute. Was I having an argument with my inner demon…?

**'Oh, I'm so sorry,'** he replied, sacasm dripping off his voice.** 'I didn't realize you were expecting it.'**

Cursing under my breath, I pushed the kunoichi away from me and encased her body in a wave of sand. She struggled, wrenching left and right, which only caused me to tighten my hold.

My lips tingled with the impression of her mouth against mine, and I forced myself to keep a neutral face as I looked up at the first woman to have ever kissed me.

My first kiss.

The only memory of an affection I could merely daydream about, and it was but a shadow of what it should have been.

This was a freak accident.

My first kiss should have been during a cherished moment of my life. That is how a normal person would have experienced things.

But I wasn't normal.

If anything, I should have never felt such a touch during the span of my life. I was a monster, a beast to be feared, and bloodthirsty animals didn't get kissed.

Only, I _had_.

Shaking my head, I lifted a hand to perform desert coffin on the girl when a noise in the background caught my attention. It was a halting, choking sound, and seemed almost distant. I glanced behind my back to see Kankuro doubled over in what appeared to be pain. His shoulders were shaking, and he was grabbing at his stomach as if something had injured him there.

For a fleeting moment, I wondered if one of those other guys had hurt my teammate, when Kankuro straightened up and burst out laughing.

"Ga…ahahaha….Gaara kissed a…hahaha…a girl!"

Temari glomped him over the head with the side of her fan, but Kankuro continued his declaration on the ground.

Blood boiling, I turned fully around to confront my idiot brother when an angry - albeit shaky - yell came from behind.

"Y-you…you jerk!"

I whipped around to face the kunoichi and stared at her evenly. Tears were pouring down her face, and she had a dark look in her eyes. Pink hair stuck to her cheeks in a messy manner, and her bottom lip trembled.

I found myself staring at those lips, remembering their sweet, indefinable taste, but caught my thoughts and forced myself to push them away. It would do no good to let my desire for touch get in the way of my desire for blood. The two could not coexist. I would go mad if I allowed such a thing to happen.

**'You are already mad,'** interrupted Shukaku, and I grit my teeth in anger. Stupid demon. He was the cause of all my troubles.

_You know as well as I that blood controls me. I cannot allow touch to have a hold as well._ Idiot monster. Sometimes I wished I could kill myself, just to spite him and deprive him of a vessel.

'…But you enjoyed it.'

_Yes, I know that! I would also enjoy watching your hide burn in the pits of hell, but we can't all have what we want._ I probably shouldn't have said that.

A second later, a splicing headache cut through my skull, and I found myself on my knees. The sand wrapped around the girl moved with my pain, dragging her closer to me, her trembling form hovering over my kneeling body.

I _definitely _shouldn't have said that.

I writhed in the pain I felt, not noticing anything else until something cold and wet landed on the top of my head.

I tilted my face upwards, surprised to find myself in the shadow of the sand, the kunoichi held directly above my aching form.

"Y-you inconsiderate monster…" she whispered hoarsely. Her tears dripped lazily down her face, falling with the same nonchalance to land on my own cheek. The feeling was mesmerizing, addictive, for I found myself bathing in her pain.

"You stole it…" I had to strain to hear, and was at first confused by her words, before she clarified.

"…You stole my first kiss."

* * *

****

- Sakura -

I was shocked.

Horrified, mortified…terrified for more than just my life.

I was scared beyond comprehension, and found myself hating that feeling. This man - this monster - who was trying to kill me had just _kissed _me.

I knew the world was twisted, but I had not realized it was this demented; for my assassin had just stolen my first kiss…

It wasn't a passionate kiss, like I had always dreamt it would be. Just a simple press of the lips - soft, chaste, and tenderly delicate. It would have been sweet…coming from anyone but _him_.

Just knowing such a bloodthirsty monster had pressed his mouth against mine made me want to retch. I forced the feeling down, and settled for tears.

His harsh push backwards sent me sprawling against the ground until a wave of sand enclosed my trembling form. I found myself unable to breathe and hated him all the more for building on the pain I already felt.

I was trembling in anger, read to spit at the monster holding me in his sandy grip, when a raucous laughter stopped me.

"Ga…ahahaha….Gaara kissed a…hahaha…a girl!" It was that strange black-clad man announcing this fact, and I clenched my teeth at his taunting.

Fury bubbled just under my skin, and I felt the sudden urge to rip his throat out, but held it back. Of course, it wasn't like I could move anyways. My body was encased in a prison of scratchy sand. You couldn't get much more immobile than that.

Turning away from me, my captor seemed about to punish the other when I interrupted him.

"Y-you…you jerk!" I wanted to hurt him. Oh, how I needed to feel his blood in my teeth, hear his screams as I clawed at his skin! I had never had such a morbid thought in my life, but I was seeing red at the moment, and didn't really care about what happened to whoever angered me.

Right now, this sand-controlling freak was on my bad side.

And at this point in my life, you did _not _want to be on my bad side.

'Our first kiss!' Inner Sakura reminded me, and I would have clenched my fist in fury had I been able to move my hands. 'That was supposed to be Sasuke-kun!'

Tears of frustration seeped down my face, and I glared at the other angrily. His haunting, black-rimmed eyes just gazed upon my trembling form blankly. He acted as if he didn't care…which was probably true. Lip-stealing monsters don't have hearts.

He dropped to his knees suddenly, grasping his head in pain, and I felt the sand shift until I was directly above him, looking down at his writhing form. I should have felt satisfaction seeing him in such agony. And a part of me - the Inner Sakura part - was immensely happy.

"Y-you inconsiderate monster…"

An unwilling sob escaped my throat and I tipped my head downward, allowing my misery to fall on the red-head in the form of salty tears.

"You stole it…" My voice was a whisper, hoarse and shaky. "You stole my first kiss."

Stating it out loud made it ten times worse. Another sob was ripped from my throat, and I soon found myself unable to control my tears. This deep, gaping hole in my heart seemed to throb in time with my gasps, and I couldn't help but pant for breath in the midst of such pain.

"I-it hurts…" I whispered, shaking because of the deep-rooted fear I felt. This emotion…this ache…I had never experienced such agony in my entire life. It was like someone had taken a kunai to my chest and ripped out my heart.

"I'm not bleeding," I continued, mumbling in misery. "But it hurts…so much."

Suddenly, the sand shifted downward, bringing me nose-to-nose with my adversary…_again_. I gasped at the intensity of his eyes. They seemed to glow with emotion, and flitted about, staring into my own, searching for something hidden even to myself.

"What did you say?" The red-head gasped out, his voice as hoarse and shaky as my own.

I didn't have the will to fight anymore, so I answered him in a tear-filled voice, "My heart…I'm not bleeding, but it hurts."

Inhaling sharply - _was that a gasp?_ -, the sand-controller leaned in towards me and reached out with a shaky hand. Part of the sand dispersed, though it still covered my arms. Instead, the front of my being was now exposed to the monster before me.

I struggled slightly before his whispered words stopped all movement.

"You're wounded."

For a moment, I stood frozen in place. I didn't feel hurt, but then again, adrenaline had a funny way of numbing your senses. Was I bleeding? Was it terminal?

"Here…" he continued, and I gasped when I felt a warm hand cover my heart. His fingers just barely grazed the skin of my collarbone, and I found myself shivering at the anticipation of such contact.

Wait…_anticipation_? Since when did I start to tolerate this monster's touch?

"It's internal," he kept on, stroking the area lightly, causing gooseflesh to rise on my arms. I stared at him, wondering why he would incite this bold touch, and found his gaze distant, as if he were trapped in a memory.

"And it hurts…" Slowly, he lowered his head until his ear was pressed against my racing heart. I flinched back at first, not out of disgust - though I would have liked to blame it on that emotion -, but out of shock.

His hair was so _soft_, and his body - just a breath away from mine - was so _warm_. I was speechless, not only from the contact, but from my reaction to his touch. With all my mind I wanted to say I was disgusted, but instead I found myself enjoying his proximity.

How twisted could this world get!

"I can hear your pain…" he mumbled, pulling his head away to look into my eyes. A single tear dripped from my nose, and he caught it in his hand before it hit the ground. Locking his piercing blue gaze onto my green one, his placed the salty liquid on his lips and licked the evidence of my pain away.

This single act made me shudder - though from disgust or pleasure, I could not tell you.

"…I can taste your anguish…" His eyes held that distant look again, and I found myself wondering what he was thinking about. For a brief second, a flash of pain flew across his features. He instantly replaced it with a cold mask, but it was already too late. I had seen that emotion, and I finally understood.

This monster - this demented sand-controller -, was _hurt_. He may not have been bleeding, but his wounds ran much deeper than what could be seen. His heart was in pain; he was in anguish…

…Just like me.

* * *

_If Gaara seems OOC, it will be explained in the next chapter, when we get to see his point of view. Well, tell me what you think!_


	10. Of Defining Love

_Sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up. I have actually had it written for several days, but just didn't have access to the internet. Anyways, thanks for the awesome reviews, and enjoy chapter 9!_

**WARNING:** Confusing philosophies, VERY morbid thoughts. Entirely in Gaara's POV. References to Gaara's past (from the Japanese episodes. Look them up on YouTube if you wanna see.), so if you don't know anything about it, this chapter might get confusing...

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* * *

**

**9**

**- Gaara -**

Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump.

Her heart beat out a rhythm like a drum - the rhythm of life…and of fear. It was loud, beating against her chest like a caged beast, and it's frantic melody lulled me into a state between reality and dreams. My eyes drooped in the slightest as flashes of my childhood flew through my head.

'Yashamaru!'

'What does pain feel like?'

'With time, physical wounds heal…'

'The other day, at the playground…it must have hurt. I want you to have this!'

'Monster!'

'But emotional wounds run much deeper. Sometimes, the pain never goes away.'

'Medicine?'

'You're receiving it right now, Lord Gaara!'

'Love!'

'I'm not bleeding…but it hurts, here…'

"I'm not bleeding, but it hurts…so much."

The voice broke through my thoughts, and my eyes widened at those words. Did she…? Had she just…?

In an instant, her trembling form was brought to me, the sand around her body obedient to my will. My hands shook as I searched this girls' eyes for a hint of that terrible emptiness which had plagued me all my life.

I nearly cried out at seeing that desolate emotion which tainted my own tired gaze.

"What did you say?" I spoke in a rush - the wind having been knocked out of me moments before.

Her chin was pointed to the ground in a submissive manner. All the fight had left her, but for some odd reason, the thought of physical combat - of blood - just wasn't as appealing as it had been earlier.

"My heart," she said in a small voice, and I had to strain to hear her. "I'm not bleeding…but it hurts."

The words hit me like a whirlwind, for they were nearly a mirror-image of the heart-wrenching cry I had spoken in my younger years. Unnamable yearnings came flooding into my entire being. I found myself aching to reach out and touch this girl; found myself craving the taste and texture of this kindred spirit's blood.

A morbid thought, yes, but morbidity had been molded into my being since birth.

Shukaku, my inner sand demon, was not just a host to my body, but a part of my personality - the reason for many aspects of my deluded thoughts. Bloodlust was as much a part of my being as the need for oxygen. In my twisted mind, the curiosity for how someone's innards would feel against my fingers was a normal thought, and the desire to answer that question was a normal urge.

The only touch I had ever felt was the sticky spray of that life-giving blood against my face - the taste of death on my lips. Human contact was but a dream for an insomniac - that is, an impossibility. Anything living was shut out by Shukaku, so I surrounded my self with anything dead.

The desire to kill was my reason for breathing…my purpose in life. The death of others insured my existence in this world.

But why?

I had spent many sleepless nights pondering this question, and had come up with one answer.

Love.

Love was the only reason humanity continued to breath; continued to live when there was nothing left to live for. They pursue this emotion with all their hearts, sometimes even subconsciously. Someone vying for attention is merely searching for acceptance. But what is acceptance? The devotion and caring of others. An aspect of love. So, in that way, acceptance is but a branch of the all-encompassing emotion of love.

Then what about existence? Existence is but a search for acceptance…which is an aspect of love. So that meant my fight for existence was merely a fight for love.

Painful to admit, yes…but true.

My hatred for love resulted in a will to exist. My will to exist resulted in a pursuit of love.

Irony was annoying.

Love through my eyes, though, was far different from love through another's. Others see love as complete devotion, kind words, soft eyes, tender feelings. These guidelines vary from person to person, but the evidence of such love remains the same.

Touch.

A gentle hug, a pat on the shoulder. To walk hand-in-hand beside the source of your infatuation. The brush of lips; the press of bodies against each other.

Touch was the visible display of love.

But _I _couldn't touch.

All my attempts at being close to another had always been forcibly pushed away by Shukaku's protests. The demon wouldn't allow anyone near me, so I was denied the simple brush of contact that spoke volumes. I was denied _love_.

But, as I had said before, my very existence was based around an ironic pursuit for love.

To be denied love was to be denied existence.

And I _would not _let that be taken away from me!

So, where does my desire for death play into this realm of emotional psychology?

That crimson liquid I crave is the connector.

Blood.

In killing, I had found something no one else could take away from me. The spray of blood against my face; the feel of another's innards - still warm - running through my fingers…

It was morbid, and it was sick, but it was _touch_.

And since touch was the evidence of love, then surely this feeling was but another branch of such emotion!

In killing others - in feeling the most morbid sensations of touch known to man - I loved.

And in loving, I existed.

A single, glistening teardrop fell against my arm, breaking me from my thoughts, and I looked up at the girl a mere few inches from my face.

For some bizarre reason, Shukaku allowed this girl to touch me. Though I resisted, it was inevitable that I will begin to crave that contact. Desire it as much as I desire blood; yearn for it as much as I yearn for death. Touch was to be my drug, and this girl the only one who could give it to me.

Licking my lips, I shifted the sand to reveal the racing heartbeat I heard so clearly.

Thu-thumpThu-thumpThu-thumpThu-thumpThu-thumpThu-thump.

It sped up with every inch I moved closer, and the faster it got, the more mesmerized I became.

"You're wounded," I whispered hoarsely, and was slightly amused at how the girl glanced over her body, searching for a physical wound.

Placing my hand against her heart, I spoke softly, "Here…" My eyes nearly rolled in the back of my head at the sensation of such contact, and I had to stifle the moan in my throat. She was so _warm_, and the beat of her pulse against my hand was such a _delicious _feeling!

Intoxicated, I grew bold in my movements.

"It's internal…" My eyes clouded as memories flooded my mind. Just thinking about Yashamaru, about his betrayal, and how it had stung ten times worse because of the love he had shown me before…

"And it hurts," I continued, not noticing at first how my fingers gently stroked the kunoichi's skin, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for me to do.

Slowly - as not to frighten her -, I lowered my head to her heart, and laid my ear against the racing drum. She flinched back slightly, but it didn't deter me.

At least she hadn't screamed…yet.

I sighed gently, having the sudden urge to nuzzle her neck, but forced it down.

Stupid obsession with touch…

Shukaku's strange powers allowed me to inhale the fear permeating off her body, and my blood boiled with excitement. An image of her mangled body - bruised and broken - tossed against the ground flashed through my mind, and I could have grinned in delight.

Bloodlust.

At least this emotion was familiar!

Thuthumpthuthumpthuthumpthuthump!

…That was too fast to be healthy, and for a moment I wondered what had made the girl's heart race even more. Surely it wasn't my touch? If she were truly disgusted, she would have vocalized it.

Her sobs came out in choking gasps - which were magnified in her chest - and I found myself hearing these despairing noises above the sound of her heart.

It was a rhythm, a cadence of horror and heartbreak melded into one.

"…I can hear your anguish…" I mumbled, closing my eyes at the sound. Pulling my head back, I stared up into her eyes only to find a glistening tear fall from the tip of her nose.

Catching it in the palm of my hand before it could hit the ground, I gazed into the kunoichi's jade green orbs and brought my hand up to my face, licking the salty liquid clean. She shuddered at the action, though for some odd reason, didn't look as disgusted as I thought she might.

"I can taste your anguish," I whispered, losing myself in another memory. I saw an image of the time Yashamaru had cut his finger open to give me an example of what pain was. Frightened, and hoping he wasn't hurt, I had moved forward to take the injured appendage in my hand and help him. When I had reached out to touch him, my sand shield had shot up to 'protect' me, and my uncle had flinched back in fear.

To see that emotion mirrored on his own face, when I had already seen it flash across so many others, had been painful beyond comprehension. I hadn't understood it then, but I soon found out that Yashamaru's love ran about as deep as a shallow puddle sitting in the middle of a scorching desert.

_Betrayal_ was a disgusting word, and an even more disgusting action.

All love was followed by betrayal. Yashamaru had taught me that.

Glancing at the girl, a spark of anger flared in me.

She was the only person I could touch.

Touch was love. Love was betrayal.

Therefore, she was a threat. A threat to my sanity - which was sparse enough as is -, and a threat to my unstable emotions.

Lifting my hand to attempt desert coffin again, I caught sight of the kunoichi's tearful eyes and was surprised to find my fingers couldn't close.

_Stupid hand…work already! Stupid demon…she's a threat! Help me kill her!_ My thoughts were angry and bitter, and only got more so as I heard chuckling in the back of my head.

**'Look at this! Gaara's too weak to kill a little kunoichi. How pitiful.' **Shukaku could be so damned annoying sometimes…

I heard a more distinct laughter behind me, and whipped around to find my idiot brother still on the ground, laughing his heart out at something I didn't find quite as amusing. Temari, who stood beside him, looked nervous, and rightfully so.

_I'll show you weak…_ I growled in my mind, releasing the pink-haired girl and using the sand to encase Kankuro.

He stopped immediately, but I still found my blood boiling in anger.

"And what, exactly, was so funny?" My voice dripped with venom, and I was glad to see fear flash across his face.

"G-Gaara…I'm sorry, so sorry! I didn't…I didn't mean anything with it! I was…just…just having some fun, you know? I mean, I thought you couldn't touch any - "

Before I had time to punish the idiot - oh, and trust me, he would have been _begging_ for mercy by the time I was through with him- a flash a pink flew before my face, and Kankuro yelped loudly.

"Ouch! Hey! What the hell!?"

The kunoichi stood before my sand prison, shoulders slumped and breathing ragged, her fist bloody. With Shukaku's sense of smell, I could easily tell the crimson staining her skin was not her own. Glancing back at Kankuro, I saw a thin trail of red drip down the side of his mouth.

"You have _no idea _how long I was waiting to do that." The girl's voice was a feral growl, and I found myself doing something very unexpected.

I smirked.

* * *

_I tried my hardest to make Gaara's connection with love and death understandable, though I'm sure there will be some questions. Simply put, he believes that touch is the basis for all love. By killing others, he feels the only touch he can - the spray of blood on his face (morbid, I know...sorry... hehe). Therefore, by killing others and recieving the only kind of touch he can, he feels love. And since existence is the pursuit of love, this morbid way of loving (killing others) gives him a reason to live._

_I hope that explained it better. If not, just PM me and I'll see if I can help you out. ;-)_


	11. Of First Kisses

_Oh, such awesome reviews! You guys don't know how much you make my day! So, for your continued pleasure, here is chapter 10..._

_-Kodu_

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**10**

**- Sakura -**

I never realized hurting someone else could feel so good. As my fist connected with the black-clad stranger's jaw, I understood the unbelievably satisfying feeling which came with holding one's power over another.

This idiot was laughing because the red-head had kissed me.

And I didn't take light of his mocking manner towards my traumatic experience.

"Ouch! Hey! What the hell!?" I could have sneered at his shocked tone.

"You have _no idea _how long I was waiting to do that." I practically growled those words, my entire body tense and shaking from the adrenaline coursing through my being. I glared out of the corner of my eye at the stranger I had just punched.

I heard a soft, shaky noise at my left, and snapped my head around to face the sound.

The blonde-headed girl was doubled over, arm across her waist, laughing hysterically while pointing at the bloody-nosed genin.

"Kankuro, you idiot!" She was nearly gasping, though had enough strength to force out those demeaning words.

She may have been the one to stand by and do nothing while an innocent child was being threatened, but at least she had enough sense to not make those threats herself.

I liked her already.

Another noise caught my attention, and I whipped around to face a shaking, distraught Naruto.

"Y-you…" he choked out, pointing at the red-head who stood a mere few feet away from me. "You _kissed _him!?"

And suddenly the reality of my situation sunk in.

In hit me like a train; fast, and violent, and wholly unmerciful. Life was cruel, but to have my friends witness its cruelness towards me? I saw the shocked look on Sasuke's face - _strange, he never shows emotion… _- and the pained look on the enigmatic blonde's. It was annoying, really. They acted as if I had enjoyed it. As if I had wanted such a touch from a sadistic monster.

Screaming in frustration, I darted to my left, intending to escape this harsh situation, when a pair of strong hands gripped my shoulders and whipped me around to face a set of frightening black eyes.

"S-Sasuke?" I breathed, surprisingly angry that he was touching me. I just wanted to be left alone. Why did my crush have to show me affection _now_, of all times?

"Sakura," he stated, as cold as ever, and I found myself wincing at his tone. Couldn't he be warm? Just once? "Explain."

"I-I…" My gaze found it's way over to the creepy-eyed boy, and saw his scowl deepen with every breath I took. I didn't want to look into his gaze. I didn't want to see the death and bloodlust fused into their depths. But my quivering stare was riveted to those light-blue eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, then wrenched forcefully away from Sasuke's grip, darting out of the alley and away from my friends. Right now, I just needed to be alone. Right now, I just wanted to cry.

Right now, I just needed to _think_.

Think about my traumatized state, about the horror of what had passed between me and the red-head; about the feelings I had felt and were disgusted by.

It was my first kiss. Surely that had to account for something? The strange tingling sensation of his lips on mine, how his hands had lightly brushed against my arms; hot breath caressing my cheek…

No!

I tripped while making my way though a deserted alleyway. Landing roughly on my knees, breaths coming in ragged gasps, I allowed my body respite from the adrenaline and emotional strain it was feeling.

It was my first kiss! Of course I would feel such sensations, no matter who I was with. Surely it would have been the same had Naruto been in the boy's place?

Though, somewhere in the darkest recesses of my mind, I found it hard to believe the energetic blonde could be so _alluring_.

Wait a minute! When had that monster's touch become alluring!?

'I'd say the moment you ran into him in the marketplace.'

_You stay out of this!_ Though I soon realized how foolish it was of me to believe a part of my subconscious mind could willingly choose to 'stay out of' my emotional and mental troubles.

Though I fought it with all my might, I found myself resorting to something I swore I wouldn't do. Sinking to the grimy ground and cowering beside an equally grimy trash can, I buried my face in my hands and dealt with this problem in the only way I knew how.

I wept.

* * *

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- Gaara -

When she fled, I realized ever having the notion of her touch being pleasant was mere insanity. This girl was weak. I killed weaklings. If I enjoyed her touch so much, I would do best to stay away from her. No matter how intoxicating contact could be, bloodlust still drove my will to live. If she dared touch me again, she would be dead in a matter of moments.

'Huh, so you did enjoy that kiss, didn't you?'

Demons, for strength, could be useful. Demons, for companionship, were just plain annoying.

Does it matter?

'Yes…I think it does matter…'

Groaning on the inside, I nearly rolled my eyes on the outside. _Shukaku…what are you planning?_

But he didn't answer, and for once I found his absence almost disturbing.

Releasing Kankuro from my sand prison, I watched as the grainy substance slithered back into my gourd, then turned to face two sets of angry, glaring eyes.

"You kissed Sakura…" Bright blue eyes narrowed, and I found myself tipping my head at the tone of this stranger's voice. Did he have some connection to the girl? Did he love her? My head ached at the thought.

"Who are you?" asked black eyes, and I found myself staring into the gaze of a calmly collected genin. It was the boy to have struck Kankuro. A feat, I remembered, not so easily accomplished.

"It is polite to give your name before demanding the same of others." My voice was cold yet even, just the way I liked it. It was ironic that an uncontrollable monster would have such a calm outward appearance. But that was my life. I was living irony.

Smirking, the other tipped his head in response to my subtly biting words. "Uchiha Sasuke. And you?"

I had heard of the Uchiha's. A powerful clan of ninja, known for their use of the Sharingan eye. Well, that's what they _had _been. Before a traitor had wiped out their entire family, save one boy. It was sad, really. Too bad I wasn't one to feel pity.

Turning my back on the other, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and replied, "Sabaku no Gaara."

I turned my gaze towards my siblings, silently commanding they follow me as we left the alleyway. Ignoring the biting comments of the annoying blonde, I pushed my way back into the crowded street and slowed my pace so Kankuro and Temari could keep up.

"Baki wishes to speak with us," I stated simply, not mentioning our destination or that he had procured a dwelling for our stay.

There were a few moments of awkward silence - I was used to such things, though - before Temari spoke rather tenuously.

"So…Gaara?" I inclined my head in her direction to show I was listening. "About that girl…"

She must have sensed my tensing shoulders, for she trailed off and didn't seem inclined to continue anytime soon. Impatient, I pushed her for a response.

"Yes?" I nearly hissed, though forced myself to keep Shukaku's anger out of my blood stream.

"Well…um…do you…er…know her?"

I stopped, Kankuro and Temari nearly running into me had my sand shield not pushed them out of the way. As it was, they merely toppled to the ground with a muted _'oomph' _and quickly picked themselves back up, dusting off the dirt that had accumulated on their clothing.

"No," My voice was clipped, as if this were the end of the conversation, though for some odd reason my feet refused to move.

"I-I think what Temari's trying to say is…" Kankuro stuttered, shaking even more as I turned my icy gaze onto his form. "Well," he gasped, unnerved by the look in my eyes. "We just wanted to know the name of your first kiss, you know?"

A flurry of emotions ran through me. Annoyance, anger, confusion, shock. Had my brother just shown a type of brotherly affection by being curious towards the girl I had kissed? Was Temari just as concerned?

Or were they mocking me because I couldn't experience touch, and they were there to witness my first encounter with such a feeling. A rather awkward encounter, mind you, and Kankuro himself had been chuckling the whole time!

Finally, something a little more sneaky snaked its way into my mind, and I had the horrible idea of throwing them off balance.

Turning fully around to face them, I crossed my arms and smirked.

"Whose to say it was my first?"

* * *

_Can't you just imagine Gaara's smart-ass grin? I can...heh. Review please!!!_


	12. Of Wise Council and Hidden Motives

_I spoil you guys too much. I was going to wait and put this chapter up in a few days, but realized things were just getting too interesting for me to wait. Plus, I wanted to see what you guys thought about the little plot twist this has taken. Trust me, you'll be surprised, especially if you were expecting a fully cannon timeline. Hah, no. I was REALLY surprised to find myself getting about 10 reviews in one day, so that also helped in the quick update. Reviews equals me happy. Me happy equals lots of inspiration. Lots of inspiration equals lots of updates!_

_-Kodu_

**WARNING:** Major plot twisting. This is where the story goes from cannon to AU. Also, I'm assuming a lot of things in the chapter (which I will explain what that means at the bottom of all this...).

_Review please! You guys are awesome!_

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**11**

**- Sakura -**

I felt dirty all over. Not just from the kiss - though that was a good part of it - but from the mud and grime caked onto my clothing as a result of my mad dash into the alley; from the tearstains streaked down my face and making my skin feel both wet and crusty. The taste of bitter saltiness seeped into my mouth; invading, disgusting. I couldn't stop crying, though I knew I wasn't in anymore danger, and I knew there was nothing I could do to take back that kiss. What's done is done. I couldn't reverse time, even if I was willing to give away my soul for such a talent.

"S-stop it," I whimpered, forcing a level of harshness into my voice. "S-stop cr-crying. It's not the way of the ninja…" My voice carried to no one in particular, as I was certain I was left alone in my misery. All alone, that is, until a familiar voice answered me.

"Sakura, it's alright to show emotion at your age." I snapped my head up - pink hair flying over my shoulder - to see Kakashi-sensei leaning casually against a metal stairway, infamous book in hand. His head was tipped in my direction, letting me know his attention was focused on me though his eyes were enthralled with the novel.

Snapping his favorite story shut - Team 7 still hadn't figured out what it was about, exactly -, he pushed off the wall with the slightest tensing of muscles and stalked over in my direction. Offering his hand to me, I grabbed hold with shaky fingers and was pulled to my feet, now standing face-to-face with my sensei.

Ashamed at having been caught crying, I wiped furiously at the tears which had escaped my eyes, mumbling an apology.

"Don't be sorry," and at the serious tone of his voice, I stopped my motions and looked towards my trainer. He was rarely serious - always late, lazing around during training, paying more attention to his book than to his pupils - but when he was, we knew it was for good reason.

Sighing, Kakashi-sensei leaned casually against his own leg and crossed his arms, single gray eye studying my form with a lenient air. "So, what's bothering you?"

Blushing, I turned my back on him and said in a sniffling tone, "Nothing."

"If it were nothing," he said smoothly. "You wouldn't be crying about it."

"I-I'm not cr-crying!" My voice cracked slightly, and I took in deep breaths, trying to control the sobs trapped just inside my throat.

"Yes, you are."

God, could he be pushy enough?

"Ninja don't cry…"

I heard him shuffle a little behind me, and turned around to find he had lowered his arms and straightened his posture. That single eye of his looked down upon me almost sadly before he shook his head back and forth in a slow motion.

"_Machines _don't cry."

"B-but the rules - "

"I _know _what the rules say."

There was a moment of awkward silence between the two of us before he continued with an exasperated sigh.

"Sakura, you're only thirteen. _Thirteen_. We're training you to become a ninja, toning your body first. The mindset will come later." He looked almost haunted for a moment, gazing at the wall just beyond my shoulder, before a mask of indifference set itself onto his features.

"Do you know why Sasuke is such an advanced genin?" The question seemed irrelevant at the moment, so undoubtedly it shocked me.

"No…?"

"It's because he has the will to kill."

I was paralyzed for a second, physically, though my mind seemed to have overloaded with questions. Killing? What did the want for bloodshed have to do with being a better ninja? Sasuke wasn't like that, anyways! He didn't _want _to kill anybody. It was his duty. Right?

As if reading my mind, Kakashi-sensei continued.

"Do you remember our first day as Team 7? When Sasuke stated there was a man he needed to kill?"

How could I forget that day?

My nod of acknowledgment goaded him to continue.

"That is his goal. The death of another. He's not afraid to kill, Sakura. In fact, it's what he's working towards. He's unafraid of death, and this is what makes him a stronger genin. Some people can't stomach the idea of murder."

_Take me, for example,_ I thought while trying to force down the bile that had risen in my throat. Sasuke? Enjoy killing? Impossible!

…Or was it?

"Look at Naruto. He has the potential to become a strong genin because he has a goal that he'll give anything to reach. Granted, becoming the greatest Hokage is a little out there for Naruto's standards, but it gives him a reason to train the way he does. So why isn't he as strong as Sasuke by now?"

I looked up at my silver-haired teacher questioningly. What he said was starting to make sense. Goals create reasons to carry on life as a ninja. Therefore, goals were a form of strength. Naruto had plenty of strength considering his goal, and even more willpower and hardheaded determination to reach it. So why wasn't he reaching it?

"Because of the idea of death; of murdering someone else. He can't take away another's life; he can't handle the absolute finality of the act."

And there was that nasty, bloodcurdling word again. _Death_. _Murder_.

"So, you're saying that by wanting to kill others, you become stronger?" The thought disgusted me, and I found myself becoming nervous around my sensei. Were all ninja monsters? Did _he _enjoy killing people? Was I in danger even now?

Chuckling slightly, Kakashi-sensei's visible eye upturned in what I had come to know as a smile.

"Of course not! What I'm trying to say is, most ninja desensitize themselves from the acts they commit. They don't enjoy murder, but it doesn't bother them, either."

Shaking my head, I placed a tentative hand on my large brow. "But…what does this have to do with anything? I don't understand, Kakashi-sensei."

And, sure to his title, he taught me a lesson I would find myself grasping for in the hardest of times; words I would dream about in the future to come.

"You may not understand it now, Sakura, but there is a difference between showing no emotion and not feeling. The bravest of warriors, the strongest of ninja, most usually have nothing left to life for but the thrill of a fight. But the most passionate ninja, the smartest, the most trustworthy, have everything to live for. It is feeling that keeps us going, and emptiness that will eventually break a man."

Smiling that one-eyed smile, he tipped his head to the side.

"So cry, Sakura, and know it's alright to feel. Because in the toughest of times, feeling is all we have left.

And he was right; I didn't understand it.

But I would one day.

* * *

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- Gaara -

We reached the hotel in record time - probably a result of my siblings nervous energy from my comment giving them enough adrenaline to walk at a faster pace. The look on their faces had been priceless, and I found it almost amusing how they fidgeted in my presence when before they were merely terrified. Maybe I should mess with them more often?

"Gaara," Baki stated as we reached the upper level of this beaten-down inn. It was filthy - dust caked on the floor, mildew growing on the walls -, and I might have cared if I were going to spend any amount of time in such a rat-infested hole. No, instead I would make the rooftops my home, the open sky my residence.

Nodding in his direction, I stepped aside so Kankuro and Temari could maneuver around me without the fear of my sand shield attacking them again.

"We've had a change of plans."

No pretenses, I noticed, and crossed my arms while leaning against one of the more solid walls, my gourd propped up beside me. Glancing left to right, I wondered why my sensei was speaking so openly of our mission. We were out in the hallway, after all.

_Do we have the entire upper level to ourselves?_ I wondered, catching my teacher's eye to silently voice my question. We had gotten accustomed to communicating without words. His voice grated on my ears, and mine undoubtedly gave him chills, so it worked out for the both of us.

He nodded to my unspoken question, and I shrugged in reply, turning my head to gaze out the window.

"We won't be attending the Chuunin Exams as previously thought."

Now that _was _a change of plans.

"Wait a minute!" Kankuro interrupted, slapping a fist to the wall, which groaned in protest. "That's the whole reason we even came to this stink-hole of a village!"

Temari just sighed, crossing her arms and leaning against her fan in a bored manner. "Just let the man finish, Kankuro. I'm sure there's a good reason for switching game strategies on us so quickly." Then, fixing Baki with an intimidating glare. "_Right?_"

Staring up at the ceiling as if he were praying it would come down and crush us all, the sensei clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace.

"The Land of Fire has become suspicious of the Land of Wind. We've had few dealings in the past, our relations as of late have been, simply put, choppy, and now they're wondering why we've sent in a group of our strongest genin to participate in the Chuunin Exams when we haven't done so in years."

"So?" I stated calmly, and all eyes turned to me. Slitting my black-rimmed gaze, I turned my head to glare at the other three in the room, Baki in particular. "What? Weren't you expecting the Hidden Leaf Village to have some sliver of common sense?" Holding back a snort at the shocked look on their faces, I asked a question I already knew the answer to.

"What's our backup plan?"

Fidgeting - _oh, how I hated that man and his incessant movement! _-, Baki stared at the ceiling again. "We…uh…don't have one."

"Wait a minute!" It was Temari's turn to interrupt. "You just told us we had a change in plans. You know, that usually implies there's actually another plan to change to!" Snorting, she straitened her posture and faced her sensei fully.

"The plan is," our sensei spoke in an exasperated tone, "To come up with another plan."

The argument that followed was enough to make me want to jump out that window then and there. Though I knew my sand wouldn't allow me to die, maybe I could at least _escape_.

Great. Trapped in a room full of idiots.

Resisting the urge to slap myself in the forehead, I turned to my bickering teammates and stopped them all with my words.

"I have a plan."

That shut them up.

Not waiting for a response I continued.

"Relations between all countries, not just ours, have been less than satisfactory." It was a common enough fact. No one got along, especially with the Leaf Village. Their ninja had been getting decidedly stronger with each passing year, _and _they housed the Hyuuga clan, some of the strongest warriors any village could hope to have. The other lands were jealous. "If we can show them our strength and ally with them, if but for a few months until the main mission is underway, then we can prove our trustworthiness and crawl under their armor before striking out."

"It sounds reasonable enough," Baki stated, averting his eyes to the floor this time as he thought about my idea. Something in his brain clicked, for I saw a spark flutter across his eyes.

"Konohagakure has been low on guarding squads to protect the outer wall ever since the Chuunin Exams have been mentioned. No higher-ranking ninja in his right mind would want to take a guarding mission when there was something so entertaining going on in the city. In fact, all of them have been avoiding that duty lately simply because of the sheer simplicity of its' tasks."

Baki's gaze was distant as he thought this plan through. "If we can offer our services for guard duty for a couple of months, Konoha wouldn't be able to refuse. This would also give us a chance to direct the guards' gazes away from Sound's preparations; which, by the way, will begin in a matter of weeks."

Considering for a moment, I realized this plan had a huge flaw.

"They don't trust us with mulling about their precious village. Why would they trust us with _protecting _it?"

Temari jumped in, her eyes glinting with excitement. My sister had a very tactical mind, and just the thought of creating and performing game strategies excited her.

"We could suggest another genin team accompany us, use the excuse of not being familiar with the land and needing some people who are. That way, they can think they're keeping an eye one us, when in reality, we're keeping an eye on them."

I knew my sister was good for something. Apparently, years of training with Baki had taught her how to patch up the holes in his plans.

"So," Kankuro ventured, pushing off the wall and pacing the room with his hands behind his back. "It's settled then. We'll request guard duty with another genin team and steer them clear from the site of Sound's preparations."

I nodded once, then returned my eyes to the window, gazing out upon the setting sun. The view would be much better from the rooftop…

Glancing back at my sensei, I caught his eye once, nodded, and jumped out of the opening which called my name, scaling the wall to land deftly on the slanted tiles above. Usually I just used my sand to teleport to places like these instead of going through the trouble of climbing them, but today my limbs were screaming for a workout - no doubt a result of all my pent-up adrenaline.

Ever since that kiss…

But no, I wouldn't allow myself to think about that.

Instead, my thoughts drifted to our new assignment, and I found myself wondering which unfortunate genins would be teamed with us.

* * *

_Which unfortunate genins indeed, Gaara..._

_No, Kakashi wasn't flirting with Sakura. -rolls eyes- He was being fatherly and wise. Though that is my second-favorite paring in the Naruto universe ;-) I was assuming all that stuff about Gaara's team being the first from the Sand Village in years. Meh, It fit my purposes, and I figured it could happen. This whole chapter (Well, Gaara's part, at least) was really setting up for greater things to come! Oh, it only gets better from here...heheh._

_-Kodu_


	13. Of Pink Silhouetted Sunsets

_**Today is my birthday!** Feb. 1! Finally, I'm 16!!! Yeah, so...an awesome gift would be reviews! Wasn't much of a party...nothing, actually. I had to get up and bake my own cake ;-). Goes to show: if you want anything done, you gotta' do it yourself._

_-Kodu_

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- Gaara -

Sometimes, I wished life was trapped in a time of perpetual sunset. To see such angry, fierce colors thrust upon the sky was a magnificent thing to behold. Few took the time to just stop and look at the wonder surrounding them, but I found myself in need of the comfort of the setting sun.

Splashes of red - the color of blood -, a streak of orange, and a glimmer of yellow fading into an ethereal blue the color of my eyes. Darkening, darkening, ever darkening until such power and glory is engulfed by the inky blackness of night.

The sensations were mesmerizing, heightened by my inability to touch. To feel warmth tingling the skin, licking it, caressing it. To wait as such sensation faded away, replaced by a much colder feeling. Each shadow touching the body sending chills up the spine. But it was this coolness that many in my land revered. By day, the sun was an angry, glaring beast. By night, the cold was just as deadly, though much more subtle. To me, though, this ghost of touching, this shadow of contact, was heaven.

Heaven reaching out to a demon in the pits of hell, hearing my silent pleas, having pity on the monster society had cast off.

No, sunsets, to me, were much more than just pleasant images.

Sunsets were a state of living.

A state of existence.

Closing my eyes, I sighed as the last rays of daylight which were touching my face vanished. The sound of pedestrians milling about the streets dimmed as time stretched on, and I found myself in such a state of contentment I might have smiled.

Might have, that is, until the sound of clumsy shuffling and mumbled curses drifted to my ears. The noise was much too loud to have come from the streets below, and I realized that someone must be very close.

Cracking an eye open, I glanced from left to right, locking my gaze onto a shot of pink hair on my second lazy sweep.

Good God, could I not get rid of this woman!?

Oddly, the drumming beat of Shukaku's bloodlust was not as loud as it had been previously. Perhaps I was learning to control those emotions better? Perhaps my demon was learning to tolerate her…?

It didn't matter, of course. Shukaku was fickle, his moods changing with the tides, while I held on for dear life in the wake of his mad romps

Breathing deeply, I closed my eyes again and tried not to focus on the girl a mere rooftop away.

Breathe in.

I mean, there wasn't much to think about, right? She was just a stupid little kunoichi who had managed to get past Shukaku's defenses; a system, I might add, that had guarded me from all contact since birth. But that meant nothing, simply she was a weakling and should not be considered a threat.

Breathe out.

Because if she was a real threat, my demon would have protected me, right? My shields seemed to have been working fine on Kankuro and Temari as we were making our way back to this hotel earlier. A slight inch too close, the whisper of wind on my sleeve, and they were knocked to the ground without a thought from me.

Breathe in.

So why was the kunoichi different? She was weak. Weaker than anyone else I had gone up against, though some of the others I had met seemed even more pitiful than her. No, even now I could sense her chakra level, just a few yards away from my own. She was weak, but not _that _weak.

Breathe out…

And her touch. It was electrifying, exhilarating, though I could always blame that on the fact I had never felt such contact before. That was it, of course. Shock had brought on those feelings. Need had incited those emotions. The quick brush of fingers; skin on skin, breath against my face…

Breathe…in...

…Lips pressed against my own; softly, chastely. The warmth of such a thing, and the lightheadedness it brought on. No, it wasn't infatuation. It was a craving; an unexplainable need for a new kind of drug. I had had a taste, and I could only hope this feeling - this memory of touch - would pass. I could only pray it would lock itself deep within my mind, never to emerge from the blackness of those depths.

…Breathe…o..u.t…

Snapping my eyes open, I forced myself to suppress a growl.

Damn kunoichi, why does she have to mess with my mind?

**'It's not her fault you're obsessed,'** mocked my inner demon, and this time I did let a small sound of frustration escape my lips.

I'm not obsessed! I'm not even curious…

'Curious? About what?'

Idiot demon. Like I would have a conversation with _him_…

'About why I let her touch you?'

Damn him twice as much as the girl…

I heard chuckling, though oddly felt no splicing headache.

'That, my host, is a matter of Higher authority.'

I would have asked questions had a certain annoyingly familiar voice not broken my thoughts.

"You!" The girl sounded surprised, as if she hadn't sensed my presence before just now, even though I hadn't been suppressing my chakra levels and was, in truth, sitting out in the open with nothing to hide me.

Idiot girl.

I might have replied with a sarcastic comeback, but wasn't really in the mood for idle chatter. Instead, I shifted my legs - one stretched outward and the other bent towards the sky - and leaned back against the slant of the roof, enjoying the constellations which slowly peeked out from darkening canvas above.

After staying in this position for several minutes, the pink-haired nuisance broke through my drifting thoughts once again.

"Why aren't you attacking me?"

I didn't answer.

"Why aren't you answering me?"

Her voice grew in volume, but I made no sign to communicate.

"Are you ignoring me!?"

Agitated, I turned my head to the left and glared at the girl who had, at some point in time, risen to her feet and was now shaking an angry fist in my direction.

"You're annoying," was my answer to all her questions, and I watched as a strange emotion flitted across her face before she sank to her knees in defeat.

Humph. Higher authority? Yeah right. This girl was just plain pitiful.

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_Didn't edit, just did a quick sweep over the piece. So if there's any mistakes, blame it on lack of time and my own laziness. ;-)_

_-Kodu_


	14. Of Other Worlds and Painful Words

_Sadly, this is mainly filler chapter, but it is important in developing Sakura's character and sort of shows her every day life. Minimal Gaara/Sakura interaction in this one, though the next will definitely make up for it, trust me! ;-)_

_-Kodu_

**IMPORTANT:** I need my readers' opinions on an idea that's floating around in my head. What do you think about switching to some different characters' point-of-views? Like, instead of just Gaara and Sakura all the time, I might add in Naruto, Kankuro, or Sasuke's thoughts on what's going on. I'm finding it VERY difficult to portray others' reactions and personalities when writing this story in first-person view (Even with the advantage of two character's opinions.). This is mainly because Gaara is indifferent and Sakura is biased. I _do not_ want to completely change the writing style in the middle of this fiction. It will remain first-person. I just want your opinions on whether or not to add in other character's thoughts.

Please tell me your opinion in your next review. This could change the entire outcome of 'Midnight Tears'. If I keep it strictly Gaara/Sakura POV, the fiction will remain completely focused on just them. If I add in others' thoughts, the fiction will eventually end up with other pairings as well.

**Thank you** for your time in _reading the above_. **If you haven't**, _**PLEASE**_ go back and do so. It is of the utmost importance.

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**13**

**- Sakura -**

Oddly enough, Kakashi-sensei's words gave me just enough courage to face my family, so I headed off in that direction after promising him I wouldn't stick around in that dank alley anymore. I guess it _had _been kind of stupid to run around the darker parts of the city all alone.

My house was a good few blocks away, and I was still winded from my pointless flight, so I decided a brisk stroll through the park was in order. Konoha was a village of ninja, so the little strip of land - located at the center of town - was rarely used. Warriors didn't really need something so pointless as a bit of a scenery change dropped in the middle of the place they protected.

The solitude would be nice while trying to wind down and sort through my thoughts.

My other excuse was the fact that is was a shortcut to my family's home. I was on the East side of town. My house was on the West.

Stepping lightly onto the cobblestone path and pushing my way through the rusty, wrought-iron gate, I took in the serene nature around me and sighed deeply.

Of course, irony would have me surrounded by the plant for which I was named after. Row upon row of Sakura trees engulfed this tiny park, stretching the length of the rocky, winding path, their soft pink petals gliding to the ground with each passing breeze.

It was a beautiful sight, really. To be bathed in a world of light and pink, the sun's rays dimmed by the gnarled wooden trunks and magnified by the petals those trunks held. Shots of bright green grass poked out of this snow-like covering at random intervals, and I found myself longing to just jump into that comforting blanket of warmth nature had created.

All too soon the path cut off and I was once again faced with the dirty roads and high stone buildings of Konoha.

Looking back, I firmly decided in my mind to visit this little park more often, then turned on my heel and set off towards my house.

When I reached it, I became all too aware of my state of dress, and began to ring my hands nervously against each other. I paused a moment before the doorstep, and stared up almost fearfully at my home.

It wasn't a fancy house, though rather large, if but in height. My family was situated in a normal neighborhood, with normal wealth and normal neighbors - though the ramshackle inn beside us said otherwise. The slanted roof was raised a few feet higher than the buildings around us, making it stick out as a taller giant amongst average giants, and the multiple windows hinted that the home had once been an inn of its own.

We had renovated the interior, knocked down a few walls here and there, and the inside was now as comfy and roomy as any other house.

My room was the upper floor, and as I tilted my head upwards to stare into the window facing this street, I caught the glint of sunlight reflecting off the glass and realized that it was now sunset, and my parents had expected me back hours ago.

Crap.

Was I going to be late for everything today?

Pushing through the front door with a grimace, I held my breath and waited for the onslaught to come.

And come it did.

"Sakura? Is that you?" My mother called from the kitchen, and I could smell fresh tea brewing.

"Yeah," I shot back hesitantly.

I heard shuffling, and then watched as a pink-aproned, wide-eyed woman stepped around the corner of a balustrade separating the kitchen from the front room. We were, for the most part, a spitting image of each other. Our hair the same shade of pink, our body the same slight build, even our voices nearly identical. Though my face was more angular while hers was soft, and my eyes were bright jade green while hers were light, airy blue.

Her hands rested on her hips as she eyed me up and down. "Where have you been? You're a mess!"

Wincing visibly, I leaned against the wall behind me and tilted my head down.

"I…uh…" Oh crap, I didn't even have an excuse.

Come on, Sakura. Think!

"I was training really hard with Kakashi-sensei. Overtime, I guess you could call it, since I've been falling behind Naruto and Sasuke." Well, that was partly true. I mean, I _had _been with my teacher, and I _was _falling behind my teammates.

She bought it, and I nearly grinned as she mumbled for me to go clean up and come down for dinner.

Running up the three flights to my room, I jumped into the shower and leaned against the wall as a spray of hot water pelted my shoulders. I knew my parents hated it when I took long showers - used up all the hot water, I suppose -, so I bathed quickly. I had already thought about what had happened today - of the kiss and the strange boy -, so my mind was mercifully blank as I went through my routine of washing up.

Racing back down the three flights to our kitchen, I practically jumped into a seat across from my mother and waited impatiently for dinner to be put on the table.

"Where's dad?" I asked absentmindedly while twisting my head left and right, as if he would jump around the corner at any moment.

"On another mission."

Of course. The Haruno family wasn't a decidedly skilled 'clan' for Konoha's standards, but my father was a tactical genius and was often called away to design and lead high-ranking missions.

I was proud of him, I really was. But a part of me - a very selfish part of me - wished he would stay home and be with his family, with me, just a little more often. He didn't have to take all those assignments. He could turn some of them down.

I didn't voice these thoughts to my mother, though. We had had this talk already. 'He's brave,' she would say. 'He loves this village too much to abandon it when they might need him.'

I had the excuses memorized.

So instead, I just sighed into the bowl of rice placed in front of me, grabbed a pair of chopsticks, and dug in, letting my mind shut down while gazing disinterestedly at the grain of the wooden table.

Before I had time to retreat to my room after the meal, my mother spoke.

"Oh, Sakura?"

Laying my bowl in the sink, I turned to her. "Yeah, mom?"

"I'm going on a mission tomorrow. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but it may take a few days." My heart fell, but outwardly I just smiled.

Alone, again. Some people my age would jump at the chance to be in charge of themselves for days on end, but I dreaded those times. Who would do my laundry? Who would cook for me? Who would remind me what time to meet up with Team 7? I was only thirteen, and though very mature for my age - some of my friends would disagree with that statement -, I still needed someone to care for me. To love me.

Oh, I knew my parents didn't hate me, but this emotion they showed could hardly count as love. They treated my upbringing like another mission. Feed, clothe, bathe, and in eighteen years set free.

"Okay," I whispered, a hint of sadness in my voice, though my mother wasn't paying enough attention to notice. "I'll be in my room, then."

She nodded once to me, then pulled out a slew of papers from a drawer and began filling out mission reports.

Sighing, I trudged back up the stairs - _could we get an elevator put in some day…? _- and flopped down on my bed, gazing at the setting sun in boredom. When the last rays of golden light dipped below the horizon and darkness crept upward, I lifted my body from the springy mattress and sauntered over towards the window, poking my head out to take in the fresh night air.

I needed this.

I needed solitude, quiet.

I needed _peace_.

Nodding my head in affirmation, I hoisted myself up onto the windowsill and clambered noisily to the roof.

Sometimes, late at night, when the world just seemed to overwhelm me and I couldn't seem to breathe, I would climb to the solitude of this house's rooftop and lean against the slanted shingles, counting the stars and naming the worlds I had created for each.

Because a star was just another sun, right? And since our world revolved around the sun, I figured others could, too. And with so many stars dotting the night sky, there was bound to be a better world out there; someplace where my worries wouldn't even be a trouble in such magnificence.

The novelty of the idea was appealing, at least.

So I did that tonight, arms crossed behind my head, gaze fixated on the millions of other worlds out there.

There was Strength-World, a place I had dubbed one teary night, sitting just to the right of that boot-shaped cluster of stars. The people who lived there were never afraid of anything, even though their planet was a scary place. Because nothing scared them. They were strong, in all aspects of their being - physically, mentally, emotionally.

And there sat Wishes-World, where everything a person wished for was granted to them. It was a bright, cheery place of happiness and never-ending sunshine. The inhabitants were friendly - everyone was friendly! - and they only wanted you yourself to be as happy as them.

To the left of Wishes-World sat a group of stars that, if connected, formed roughly the shape of a heart. In the center of this heart shape stood Sasuke-kun-World. This planet was perfect in every way. It was where all pink-haired kunoichi named Sakura could find warmth in the embrace of their love. Where a mysterious hero came to save the day and whisk the helpless girl away, only to give her a passionate kiss. A strong, powerful, beautiful kiss that sent sparks flying…and made the girl swoon…and felt electrifying…and…and…

…And was a sweet, soft press of the lips, delicate and chaste; beautiful and serene, if but for the piercing blue eyes staring deep into your soul…

My eyes widened as I slowly shook my head back and forth.

No. No, no, no!

How could I be thinking about _him _in such a manner. About _that _kiss! It was my first kiss, sure, but it meant _nothing _to me!

Growling in frustration, I sat straight up and blinked back the sleepiness from my eyes, tossing my head from side-to-side to try and get that mental image out of my head.

And that was when I saw a shot of crimson-red hair set against a blackened sky.

"You!" I gasped out before common sense could grab hold of me.

'Great,' replied Inner Sakura sarcastically. 'Confront the guy who tried to kill you…twice!'

I was frozen in shock for a moment, my muscles tensing to jump up and flee. He didn't move, and though my racing heart screamed at me to take this chance and run, my mind was curious as to why this boy was here. I mean, come on. My stalker, my Grim Reaper, my first kiss just happened to be sitting on the roof across from me, staring at the sky much like I was, and acting as if my presence didn't bother him in the least when hours before he had been on the verge of killing me. How could curiosity not strike?

"Why aren't you attacking me?"

'Do you _want _to die?' my inner self cried out, as if her complaining would stop me.

He didn't budge, and I rose to my feet slowly, finding his behavior very suspicious.

"Why aren't you answering me?"

Still no reply, and my blood boiled in the face of his indifference.

This was the guy who _stole _my first kiss! The one who had threatened to take my life several times today in that annoyingly haughty manner of his! I wasn't going to let him stand by and ignore me. He should pay for the hell he had put me through today!

"Are you ignoring me!?" My fist shot out to shake rampantly in his direction.

I was angry, I was fired up, I was ready to fight…until he looked at me.

That cold gaze of his - so prominent when surrounded by such infinite blackness - chilled me to the bone, though I set my jaw and stared back with an equally chilled glare.

"You're annoying."

And the words of Sasuke-kun rang back inside my head, doubling, expanding, until my mind was one big mass of shattered dreams.

You're annoying, you're annoying, you're annoying…

…Just like Naruto.

I sank to my knees in defeat, gazing off into the distance, looking at nothing in particular and not thinking about much, either. Those words echoed like haunting spirits; and like a properly haunted host, I wilted to their will.

Annoying.

Who would have thought a single word could be so painful?

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_This chapter was mainly put her to portray Sakura's life - to show she's just a normal kid - and to get across to readers that, yes, she is thirteen, and therefore thinks like a thirteen-year-old. Her crush on Sasuke won't just go away over night, but you'll find her making a lot of parellels between the two. _

_The image of the park was actually inspired by a picture found on wikipedia. If you want to see, go to the main page and type in "sakura" in the search box. It's the featured picture on the right, and is quite beautiful, I must say._

_Alright, next chapter is some subtle Gaara/Sakura fluff! Yeah!_

**And don't forget to tell me your opinion of other characters' thoughts in your review!**


	15. Of Cold Stars and Imminent Danger

_Wow, you guys are amazing, as always. Thanks so much for the awesome reviews! Sorry this chapter took a little longer getting to you, but life sometimes gets in the way of more important things (Like finishing this story...). I'll have a LOT more free time, though, from now on!_

_-Kodu_

**IMPORTANT:** In case you didn't read before, I'm considering using different character views (Like Sasuke, Naruto, Kankuro, etc...) in this story, and I REALLY want your opinion on the matter. Please tell me what you think in your next review!

_Woah, I just realized how slow this fiction is moving! This is chapter 14, and only 1 day has passed in Naruto's world! I realize this is because I tend to repeat a lot of dialogue between the characters so we can see their different opinions on what is being said. Does this bother you guys at all? I mean, the coupling will take some time, but I really wasn't expecting a day to move by so slowly..._

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**14**

**- Gaara -**

I crossed my arms behind my head and tilted my gaze back to the twinkling lights in the sky. Time stretched on, and I heard naught but the quiet chirp of crickets and the almost inaudible sound of the girl's breathing; the rhythm of the night lulling me into a state between sleep and full awareness.

I longed to dream. No one could quite comprehend the intensity with which I wished for such a sensation.

I wanted to feel the comforting ache of waking limbs, to stretch my body of its permanent tiredness and yawn with renewed vigor. If I could have but one night of peaceful slumber - the fear of Shukaku preying on my personality but a wisp of smoke in the reality of things - then I would be content.

But I could not sleep.

I had never done such an act in my life, and I was almost jealous of those around me who had the ability to do something I couldn't. Jealous of Kankuro's mumbled words as he grasped his pillow, brow wrinkled in either concentration or pain. Jealous of Baki's even breaths and cold, statue-like countenance as his features relaxed into a neutral position and his eyes fluttered closed. Jealous, even, of Temari's strangled gasps as she tangled herself in her sheets and fought with all her might to fight off the monsters which plagued her dreams.

And I felt this way because Kankuro, though uncomfortable, was winding down from a long day of hard training; because Baki, though stoic, was resting his body in the way only a dreamer could; because Temari, though riddled with nightmares, had the ability to dream and see worlds I would never have the chance to imagine.

It wasn't fair.

_Life_ wasn't fair.

But few things ever were.

I shifted slightly to move off of a particularly sharp shingle jutting skyward, and heard a breathy sigh in the process. Craning my neck to the left, I was surprised to see a pair of teary jade-green eyes staring back at me.

The pink-haired kunoichi was gazing at my stiff form blankly, the salty wetness at the edges of her eyes threatening to fall, though she held it back. We held each others' gazes for a long time, neither willing to give in and turn away. I had just realized neither one of us was blinking, either, when her words snapped me back into the present.

"I hate you."

I had heard such a phrase so much in my childhood, it no longer held the stinging bite it used to. Just looking into her eyes proved her words were true, as such emotion was practically glinting in those orbs. Her hate was well-placed, I could give her that. The only problem was my attitude towards her statement.

She hated me.

She hated me, and I didn't care.

Emotion was just _emotion_. It didn't mean anything, and it sure as hell wasn't _worth _anything, either.

"You _kissed _me," she spoke again, and this time I blinked, allowing her to win our little stare-down.

What did _that _mean? How was that relevant? Sure, I kissed the girl, so what? It was a mistake, a slip-up, and if I could go back in time I…I…

…I would do it all over again.

The electrifying sensation of her lips against mine came back full force, and I slit my eyes in anger at the girl for bringing back the memory of such touch. I was angry at remembering, because I knew this shadow of reality was all I had left of what had happened. I would never feel such contact again, no matter how much I craved it, and I was furious at her for this fact.

"Affection is worthless," I shot back monotonously, twisting my body to face her fully. "A kiss means nothing." And I believed it. That wonderful feeling didn't mean anything, not in the way this girl was thinking. It was but euphoria to a numb man, the taste of a dream to an insomniac. It held no tender emotion behind it, no connection between the two of us.

If anything, I was the hunter, and she was the prey. I had stolen that kiss - unthinkingly, unwillingly, yes; but stolen it, nonetheless. I had broken her spirit and ripped out her heart, and felt absolutely no remorse for my actions.

…Only…those words she had spoken…'I'm not bleeding, but it hurts…'

_No. Just because she reminds me of my past does not mean she truly has a connection to my inner being!_ I chided myself, trying to bring back sense into my semi-crazed mind.

"A kiss means _everything_," she countered, and I saw a bit of fire light her eyes. So, the girl was passionate about something? Maybe I could break her of this worthless infatuation with emotion…

"Really?" I said dully, looking her squarely in the eyes, not letting her take her gaze away. "What does it mean, then?"

Slitting those jade orbs - they seemed darker in the moonlight, like liquid chrysoprase -, she heaved a frustrated sigh and turned her head away, staring down at the street below.

"Why should I talk to you?" Her voice sounded confused, and I could tell the girl was conflicted. Hold a conversation with the man who was trying to kill you earlier, or do the safe thing and go back inside as quickly as possible?

She chose the less obvious option.

"_You _talk to _me_," she said, seeming to find a good middle ground in her mind. The only problem with her little plan was I didn't take orders from anyone; especially idiot pink-haired kunoichi who cried too much.

Making a small noise of agitation in the back of my throat, I sat back up to rest my arms on my knees.

"Idiot kunoichi," I mumbled, letting my gaze fall back to the stars when her voice stopped me.

"_What _did you say!?"

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- Sakura -

"Why should I talk to you?" I was confused. There was no way of hiding it, either, and I knew he could easily detect my hesitation in the tone of my voice.

I knew why I _shouldn't _talk to him. He was a stranger, obviously, and threatening in an indefinable way. My being shied away from him as naturally as I might avoid a snake. I couldn't tell right away if it was poisonous or not, but I wouldn't hang around to find out. A sense of self-preservation seemed to buzz throughout my body whenever he was near; tingling and euphoric for the adrenaline it pumped through my veins.

I knew why I _couldn't _talk to him. He was unresponsive, for one. Every attempt at communication - though even trying on my part was foolish - was always met with contempt or threats. It was dangerous to my health to even be near him. If I kept this up, I knew he would make good on his promise to kill me.

And yet, knowing these things did not deter me from the red-head's presence. Grasping the concept that I walked a thin line when even near him was a rush. It was as if I were addicted to the high of adrenaline his mere being exuded.

He was dangerous, and I wanted a taste of that danger.

Though, this addiction did not keep me from lashing out in rage at his haughty demeanor. He thought he was better than me, and that irked me to no end. I wanted to show him that I could be strong. I wanted to show him that I was more than just a cry-baby kunoichi.

I wanted to show him my true self.

Now, to go about doing this, I realized I would have to approach him in a different way. Apparently he wasn't listening to anything I said. He feigned ignorance to my words, and there was little I could do to keep him from zoning out.

Though, there _was _something.

If I did all the talking, he could avoid conversation easily. If _he _did all the talking, I could provoke him into spilling his thoughts. This red-head was a puzzle, and I, being the tactical specialist that I am, ached to solve it.

"_You _talk to _me_," I said, leaning back against my elbows for support.

He made a small noise - _finally, some kind of reaction! _- and sat up.

"Stupid kunoichi." His words were a harsh whisper, and my face heated up at the statement.

'He did _not _just insult us!' Inner Sakura was in a rage, and I fought with all my might to control her anger. It probably wasn't a good idea to blow up at the boy who had tried to kill me twice today.

A bit of that fury, though, leaked out.

"_What _did you say!?" I winced outwardly, chiding Inward Sakura for getting me into such a mess.

He didn't respond at first, but I had almost grown used to his evasion of human interaction. Odd, really, how I could become familiar with the quirks of a stranger. I was about to lift up and take this chance to leave, when his words stopped me.

"You're a fool."

My back was to him, and I was in mid-crouch when he said this. His harsh tone of voice froze me in place, and I found myself shuddering at the ice in his words. Slowly - oh, so slowly! - I twisted my body to face him and tilted my head to the side, regarding this strange boy with a calculating air.

He wasn't looking at me - and I thanked God for this little mercy! -, but instead had taken to staring up at the stars; arms crossed lazily behind his head as he leaned against the shingles of the rooftop. This was the most relaxed I had ever seen him, his face passive, his eyes half-lidded; and in the faint blue-white glow of the moon, I could almost say his features were pleasant.

'What!?' screeched my inner self, and I outwardly winced at her tone.

Pleasant? What the heck had I just been thinking?

My eyes widened at the implications these thoughts brought. My heart was taken with _Sasuke_. Sure, I had admired other boys from time-to-time, but I had never really thought of them as attractive, at least not in the way I thought Sasuke was attractive.

Naruto was strong-willed. He had the ability to do anything he set his mind to, and to him all goals were reachable. I found that confidence attractive. Of course, the mere thought of dating the enigmatic blonde made me blanch, but that didn't mean I couldn't admire him for something.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was attractive in a physical sense. He was gorgeous to look at, and just watching him train sent my heart beating a mile a minute. Few men could be called beautiful, but Sasuke had the traits of such. He wasn't rugged enough to be 'handsome,' nor effeminate enough to be 'pretty.' The Uchiha was like a shining star in a backdrop of blackness: Too beautiful to ignore, yet too distant to touch. And when you did get close enough to brush his sleeve or take his hand, you found the contact burning.

But that wasn't a good analogy. Stars were warm, and Sasuke…Sasuke was cold.

Glancing back at the red-head, I found my insides quivering at the direction my mind was going. I didn't want to think about what I had shared with this stranger. I didn't want to compare this monster to my beloved Sasuke.

Yet my mind, when determined, was uncontrollable.

This boy was just as distant and reserved as Sasuke, but I knew, from personal experience, that he was _far _from cold. His words screamed of contempt, dripped with poison, yet he was not made of stone. He was stoic, like ice, but aggressive, like fire. His voice was biting, like a winter wind, but his body - his warmth - pressed up against my own was comforting, frightening; exhilarating like a heartbeat.

This boy may speak of death, yet his mere presence gave life.

_Sure,_ I noted while staring into the blank expression plastered on his face,_ He's about as social as a rock. But something about him…attracts me…_

The first step to recovery was admitting you had a problem, right? Well, hopefully, by stating this painful fact, I would start to heal from the wounds this stranger had inflicted on my soul.

"What are you looking at?"

I had been staring, and snapped back into reality to find a pair of chilling eyes locked on my own.

"N-nothing," I stuttered, and inwardly cursed at the weakness I was showing. For some odd reason, I felt my face heat up, and snapped my head around to where my hair covered the blush spreading across my cheeks. It seemed like an eternity of awkward silence before he spoke again.

"You hate me?" It was a rhetorical question, and though I was tempted to shoot back a biting remark, I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself.

Instead, I heard what sounded like a huff and the faint shuffle of fabric. Freezing up, I realized he was approaching me, my fear confirmed when the darkness of his shadow covered my trembling form. I felt the heat radiating from his body and shivered at the feeling of such warmth on my back when the nipping wind chilled my front.

No, he was far from cold.

His shadow hunched over slightly, and I clenched my eyes shut as his heat came closer, closer, ever closer.

"Are you afraid of me?" That husky whisper sounded right beside me, his hot breath tickling the inside of my ear. I was too scared to speak, and figured if I shook my head my face would come in contact with his lips…again.

The mere thought of him being this close to me was unnerving, and I wished with all my heart that he would just back away and leave me alone.

"I can smell your fear."

_Sadistic monster…_ I thought angrily, holding back the growl which had settled in the back of my throat. My analytical mind was working in overtime, trying to figure out a way to get me out of this mess with the least amount of pain involved.

I couldn't fight him. He was stronger than me - perhaps the strongest genin I had ever met -, and if Naruto couldn't touch him, I didn't stand a chance.

I couldn't scream for help. As soon as such a sound left my lips, I knew he would strangle me to death for even attempting to get him in trouble; to run.

But there was one thing I could do. The thought struck me hard, and the image of his little show of tenderness - if it could even be called such - flashed through my mind. His body heat, the contact, the electricity flowing through my veins, that sweet, chaste kiss…

Shuddering, I leaned back and, sure as I had suspected, made contact with the warmth of his chest. He tensed up, and for an achingly horrifying minute I was afraid he might kill me anyways for having the audacity to touch him. The reality of things, though, was much more terrifying than my fears.

I gasped in surprise as a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and crushed me to the body hovering just above my own.

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_I know, I'm horrible with cliffies... Wow, this story just seems to have a mind of it's own. I was planning on this chapter ending with Gaara calling Sakura foolish and her running back inside, but as you can see, things progressed differently... Hoorah for creative freedom!_

_Review please!_

_-Kodu_


	16. Of Third Contact

_Happy Valentine's Day!!! As a treat, I give you this chapter! Of course, my candy is reviews..._

_I'm actually very pleased with this chapter. I hope I portrayed Gaara's obession for touch right, and kept him in character... Oddly enough, this chapter seems very...erm...sexual, for lack of a better word. I was shooting for 'obsessive,' but, hey, whatever floats your boat. This chapter actually got a bit too long to add in Sakura's thoughts, so the next will be dedicated to just her. For now, enjoy Gaara's insanity!_

_-Kodu_

Thanks for the amazing reviews (11 in ONE day!!). I love you all!

**UPDATE:** About switching views...apparently a lot of you like the idea, and a lot of you would rather keep this Gaasaku-centric. I've had a couple suggest putting alternate views in another story. What do you think about that? Would it even be worth reading?

So far...

3 say YES

2 are NEUTRAL (Or other story)

3 say NO

_**A/N: **Funny, how I had started out this fic thinking it would just be a short little Gaara/Sakura fanfiction. And now...it's grown into a 15+ chapter story...Wow, at how words seem to have a mind of their own._

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**15**

**- Gaara -**

She moved as if to leave, and I found myself desperate for something to say that would keep her by my side.

**'Addicted…'** said Shukaku in a sing-song voice. I growled inside my head and fought the urge to slit my eyes.

Shut up!

"You're a fool," I shot out quickly, before the insult could leave my mind.

She stopped in mid-crouch, and I inwardly congratulated myself. Women were so predictable. Kankuro had made this comment to Temari once when she had declared her departure in the middle of a heated fight. Granted, he got a bloody nose for it, but at least it had kept them arguing.

And right now, it didn't matter if this girl talked with me or yelled at me. She was my only source of touch, the only being that could bring back the memory of such euphoria. Simply put, whether I hated her or not, her presence was tolerable, and I wasn't about to give up such normality after having searched for it all my life.

The adrenaline I felt when killing; the rush of blood against my fingers; the high of death…

…It was the same as the moment when her lips touched mine. The same as when her silky hair tickled my cheeks; as when her salty tears cooled my arms and bathed me in her anguish.

It was the feeling of life. Death and life were one in the same. Life and touch were identical. Therefore, touch had become an addiction just as much as death.

After I was satisfied she wouldn't leave, I leaned back again- arms crossed behind my head -, and gazed up at the distant stars. There stood Orion, sword drawn and stance proud as he bravely faced the charging Taurus, and I wondered at the parallels between the celestial and my own life.

I could hardly be seen as a courageous warrior, ready to fight for those I loved, for I did not love anyone, and lived only for myself. But who's to say Orion fought for the one's he cherished? I liked to imagine that that body of stars was just as bloodthirsty as me. That Taurus, the angry bull, was only protecting his young from a hunter itching to kill.

In this sense, the kunoichi reminded me of Taurus. She was my victim, my prey, and though she fought with all her might to hold on to the last threads of sanity connecting her to this world, I stood at the ready, sword drawn, to sever those ties.

Or perhaps our roles were switched?

Did not another ancient culture call Orion, "Al Jauza" - a feminine figure? So Al Jauza, a female hunter, could very well be stalking Taurus. And I, now in the role of the bull, was fighting horn and hoof to defend my blackened heart against the electricity of life. Al Jauza - the pink-haired girl - was my rush, my threat, and I both feared and longed for her presence.

Glancing back at the girl, I found her gaze plastered on my face, and was annoyed at the blank look she was giving me.

"What are you looking at?" I snapped, and was pleased to find the haze clouding her eyes lift.

"N-nothing," she stuttered and turned her face away.

Her words from earlier echoed in my mind - _'I hate you!'_ -, and I scrunched up my nose in annoyance.

"You hate me?" The thought was amusing. Of course, I knew everyone I came in contact with held such contempt for my being, but they had never had the guts to come out and say it. This weak little kunoichi was already more brave than my siblings; more courageous than my sensei. To be able to think of this girl as anything but cowardly was a puzzle to me.

Any other time I wouldn't have cared about an enigma, but I wasn't quite ready to let this girl go yet.

Granted, I didn't know when I would be ready, but the time would soon come…

I hope.

**'Shake off this addiction, if you truly want to,'** said Shukaku in a overly-sweet voice.

_What do you mean?_ I growled inwardly, praying this wasn't some kind of trick and that I would have the ability to loose myself from this girl's hold.

'Touch her again.'

_Idiot. That's my problem in the first place!_ Stupid demon. He was a part of my mind. Could he not at least decipher what I was thinking?

'Need is a funny thing. You cannot just drop the subject of your obsession, because the question of 'what' will always haunt you. 'What would she have done if I kissed her again?' 'What will touch feel like a second time?' But if you answer that question now…'

_…Then it will not be a thought in the future._ It made sense.

Acting on my decision before I changed my mind, I lifted from my spot on the roof and stalked over towards the girl at a slow pace. I made sure to make my footsteps noticeable, so I could relish in every moment of fear she felt.

When I was a breath away from touching her, I leaned in towards her ear and whispered, "Are you afraid of me?"

She didn't speak, but I - or, rather, Shukaku - could smell the waves of fear coming from her being. It was euphoric, really, to be this close to another; to feel their warmth and smell their terror, and to know that I was in control of my movements this time instead of an unpredictable demon.

"I can smell your fear." And it was the truth. This girl could never understand that, but I enjoyed this private sensation.

Of course, I enjoyed what I felt next even more.

The warmth of another's body pressed up against my chest, and my breath hitched in my throat.

She touched me. This girl willingly _touched _me. I, the monster, the demon, the bloodthirsty killer that no one could stand to be around without quivering in fear. Her body shook now, as all do in my presence, but it didn't matter because I could _feel _it.

Electricity buzzed through my body, and I once again felt the rush of life.

_Yes,_ I thought, closing my eyes in ecstasy and breathing deeply. _Yes!_

Before common sense could stop me, my arms wrapped around the girl's waist and crushed her to my body. It was an awkward position - both of us leaning over slightly as I supported all her weight, my head buried in her neck as I took in the sweet scent of her fear - but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered when the heat of another mingled with my own warmth; when this girl's tense shoulders crossed the span of my chest and her short, choppy breaths rose and fell with my own ragged gasps. She molded perfectly with my body, and I found myself growing weak with the intensity of feeling I received.

Death and life. Life and touch. Both were one in the same.

And somewhere in the depths of my insanity, I realized my troubles were just beginning.

I wouldn't let her go. I could not let her go. Mine. This girl was _mine_. She was my property, my source of contact, and her life was held in the palm of my hand. She lived for now. As long as she was useful, I would allow her to keep breathing.

It pulsed through my heart, then; the inevitable bloodlust. I craved it, with my nose pressed up against the side of her neck. I wanted to bite into that tender flesh and watch as such crimson liquid flowed down her sides; lick up the evidence of her pain and keep biting until she was as pale as a corpse with blood loss.

Shukaku.

I recognized this as his craving. My human part wanted touch, my demon part wanted blood, and my sensible mind wanted to throw this girl off the building to just get her away from me.

But I didn't want to kill her. Not yet. She was my possession, after all. I wouldn't break a toy within moments of receiving it.

"You're mine," I growled hotly, raking my hands up her arms and nearly moaning at the feel of such softness beneath me.

She whimpered, though out of fear or something else, I could not tell.

Pleased with the response, I pulled her closer - if that were even possible, and tightened my hold on her upper arms. She would have bruises later, but that wasn't my problem. Right now, all I could focus on was the sensations I felt now.

This wasn't love.

This was _obsession_.

"Say it," I whispered, switching my mouth to her other ear, pressing my unmoving lips just under the appendage. It wasn't a kiss, exactly, but I longed to feel flesh beneath my mouth once again.

I heard the pounding rush of her blood, and curled my lips back just enough to show the tips of my teeth. Leaning down, I raked my jagged fangs along the juncture between neck and shoulders, and nipped lightly, just enough to draw blood. Sighing outwardly, I lapped at the wound I created, licking up the crimson liquid until it no longer poured out of her cut. The bruise forming around my ministrations pleased me to no end.

"Say it," I growled again, my eyes slitting as the kunoichi began to struggle. "Say you're mine."

She stopped moving abruptly, and I could practically taste the tension in the air. Her shoulders shook as if she were crying, but I neither saw nor felt the icy coolness of her tears.

"I…" she began, but couldn't go on. Taking a deep breath - I felt it in the rise and fall of her stomach -, the girl tried again. "I-I… - ah!"

The sound, a sort of gasping noise, left her throat so abruptly it gave me cause to stop for a moment. Glancing down, I saw the reason for her shock, and growled low in my throat at the substance spreading around us.

Sand.

The evidence of Shukaku's presence in my life.

It crawled up my legs; coiling like a snake, as light and airy as smoke if not for its rough grains scratching at my skin. It followed me everywhere; my pulse, my curse.

Sabaku no Gaara.

I was the sand, and I hated every moment of it.

The gourd had been left inside, and apparently Shukaku was none too pleased with my little show of defiance. He watched me through the sand, controlled me through my greatest weapon. The demon had cleverly made himself a part of my life, whether I liked it or not. With him, I was a monster. Without him, I was a defenseless monster.

I chose the lesser of two evils, and leaned more towards self-preservation rather than self-persecution.

Tonight, though, I had been craving a moment of peace. Sometimes I longed to step back and breathe in the crisp night air instead of surrounding myself with the scent of death and blood. Bloodlust was Shukaku's craving after all, not mine.

Of course, my siblings found it hard to differentiate between the two, and feared me for the crimes I had not committed. True, my _body _had done all the killing, but my _mind _- or what was left of it - was never quite into the act. Could I help that a demon controlled my movements when he so chose? Was I to be blamed for the blood of the thousands I had killed, when in fact I knew very little of the actual crime committed?

But, then again, Shukaku was an extension of myself - a part of my own personality. He had instilled the lust for blood in my body long ago, and now I could no longer tell the difference between _my _insanity and _his _insanity. Sometimes, when provoked, I longed to kill someone, and my demon easily complied with my request. At other times, I fought with all my might to keep him from taking control and killing an innocent.

This is where the headaches had come in. They were splicing, dizzying, and every throbbing ache which I felt with agonizing clarity made me want to retch. Defiance was frowned upon by the demon. Freewill was something I had to fight for. And when I did fight, I was punished.

The smell of the sand hit my nostrils, then, and I found myself closing my eyes in annoyance. Blood. It was soaked into the grainy substance, not a single particle untouched by the crimson liquid. My sand was a little more complicated than what was normal. It had killed many souls in its' crushing grasp; ground bones and muffled the screams of my victims. For this, it was darker, and it smelt distinctly of what could only be described as death.

It curled around my body, engulfing it in its' grainy grasp. I was used to this feeling, but the girl - who shook with renewed vigor - apparently was not.

For some odd reason, Shukaku found the urge to wrap around the kunoichi's body as well, capturing her legs and waist as it continued to crawl up her front.

I didn't understand the demon's motives, at first, until the sand, of its' own volition, pressed both of us even closer together; molding our bodies until we were one. It lifted me up slightly to where my chin fit perfectly atop the girl's pink head.

Sighing, I leaned into the female warrior and was surprised to find she retuned the gesture. I suppose, between living sand and human contact, she preffered my presence.

Still, it did not deter her from shivering violently in my grasp.

With the flick of a wrist, I shifted the sand until I could bring my arms around to the girl's waist again. Rubbing them up and down her stomach in a soothing manner, I tilted my head to where my cheek rested in the smoothness of her hair and sighed deeply.

"Do not be afraid. I won't kill you…yet."

Those words were meant to comfort her, but she just continued to shake. Annoyed now, I willed the sand to turn the girl around until we were face-to-face. Her teary jade-green eyes looked up at me almost hopefully, as if she believed I would let her go now, when in reality I was far from done with her.

I almost smirked at her, and, as if sensing my amusement, the girl slit her eyes dangerously.

"I hate you!" she shouted angrily, thrashing as much as she could in the grasp of my sand.

It was hilarious looking, really, and I couldn't help but let a tiny chuckle escape at the sight of such attempts.

"You…sadistic…monster!" she yelled again between pants for breath.

"I know," I answered coldly, and waved my hand to pull her closer, our foreheads nearly touching.

She gasped again, and turned her head away as if fearing I would steal her second kiss as well.

"Now," I continued, fighting back the joyous euphoria coursing through my veins so I wouldn't sound too happy when speaking. "Say it."

Whipping her head around to face me once again, the kunoichi's eyes seemed to glow with some deep-rooted fire and she spat out angrily, "Never!"

Then, talking to me as if I didn't hold her life in the palm of my hand, she continued, "I belong to _no one_! Especially not some hideous, monstrous, sand-controlling _freak_!"

And that was when Shukaku's anger grabbed hold of me.

To hell with touch, I just wanted to _hurt _something now.

Before I could think to do otherwise, the sand that had once held the fiery kunoichi launched the girl over the rooftop and into the streets below.

Surprisingly, my sensible mind had won out in the end.

* * *

_Will Sakura live? Will she die? Will she suffer bodily maiming? Only the next chapter will tell..._

_The closing line refers to what Gaara had said earlier:_ _"My human part wanted touch, my demon part wanted blood, and my sensible mind wanted to throw this girl off the building to just get her away from me."_


	17. Of Falling and Bite Marks

_Hey guys, thanks for the awesome reviews! (26 for one chapter!!!) Oh, and Midnight Tears has OVER 10,000 HITS!!! This makes me so amazingly proud! You guys are the best!_

**IMPORTANT:** "Midnight Tears: Introspect", a **forum** for this fiction, is now up and running! Here you can ask questions, discuss chapters, or just talk about the characters in general! I'd love for you guys to pitch some ideas on what you think should happen next, and from time-to-time I'll post some snipets of chapter's to come, or pitch my own ideas for where this story is going. Check it out! I'd love to hear from you all!

_So, with that said, enjoy chapter 16, the longest chapter yet!_

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* * *

16 **

**_- Sakura -_**

_Good God, why_ did this monster have to be so deliciously warm?

I was angry at myself for falling into such a trap. A trap, mind you, I had set with my own two hands.

His breath raked hotly against the side of my neck, and with all my heart I wanted to be disgusted with such a feeling. My stomach turned, though with something far from revulsion. He was practically gasping for air, and for a moment I wondered how I could affect him in such a way, when I realized my own desperate wheezing was achingly loud.

_Lord, why did he have to be warm?_ I questioned inwardly a second time, practically whining in the face of my own misfortune. Burningly hot, I could have handled. Chillingly cold, I could have understood.

But warmth?

Warmth was a comforting heat; not painful or searing, though this passion I was feeling might have felt like such. It guarded against the chill of a biting wind; the ice of a winter's day. I practically winced as my mind wandered to thoughts of the ice in my life; to thoughts of a certain black-haired boy I had been infatuated since my younger years.

Sasuke was cold.

This red-headed stranger was warm.

I hated him for it, too. This strange stirring in my stomach, the aching in my heart, was only intensified by the anger and spiteful loathing I felt for the monster holding me now. He _stole _my first kiss, and now he was stealing my first passionate embrace.

And it wasn't even the fact that he was hugging me that bothered me so. It was the fact that I felt affected by his touch, when in reality I should have only felt this flustered by _Sasuke's _touch.

The body behind me shifted slightly, and I felt a nose nudge gently at the juncture between neck and shoulder. I couldn't help the chill that spread up my spine, and was infinitely thankful for such a feeling. At least now I knew this stranger wasn't always pleasantly warm. Now I knew of the fear he could pour over my spirit, drenching me in an icy, terrifying grip.

And in an instant, that ice was melted with the heat of his breath.

"You're mine," he growled against my neck, and I felt my face burn even as my body shuddered. Smooth hands raked against my arms, setting them alight with a fire not wholly unpleasant.

The whimper that escaped my mouth was unexpected and unwanted, for not even I could determine whether it was a noise of fear, or unnamable, unspeakable _pleasure_.

_Great,_ I thought, trying to keep my focus off of the body crushed against my own._ I can't even tell whether or not I hate the touch of the person I despise._

'Your mind is twisted,' commented Inner Sakura, and if I had been able to, I would have glared at the imaginary entity.

You are my mind!

'If I was your mind, then I would be telling you to just let go and enjoy this.'

_Look, why don't you just shut your mouth and - …Wait, what!?_ I was confused. What was my subconscious self implying? That I enjoyed being held prisoner between a monster's arms?

_But what about Sasuke?_ I practically whined to my inner self._ This…this is betrayal!_

'…Is it really, when Sasuke doesn't know, and wouldn't care if he did?'

Ouch. That stung.

Thankfully, the motions of the red-head jolted me from my argument with my inner self before things got painful. Without warning, I was pulled even closer against the body behind me, and the iron grip on my arms tightened.

_Ouch! That stings!_

I would have bruises in the morning.

"Say it," he practically hissed, moving to press his lips against my other ear. It wasn't a kiss, exactly - _thank God! _-, but the sentiment of the moment, the sincerity of the motion, brought tears to my eyes.

Why was I being forced to feel such wonderful emotions with a monster I didn't even know? These simple, passionate gestures were supposed to be shared with the one I loved, not with a complete stranger!

I was a _virgin_, and yet I felt as if I were being _raped _of my innocence.

And it was a painful feeling.

It hurt - it hurt _so _much -, the same as when he kissed me; the same as a kunai wound to the chest…

…The same as the bite mark he was inflicting on my sensitive neck.

I forced back the yelp threatening to spill out of my mouth - _I would not show weakness in front of this beast!_ -, and let him lick at the gash he had sliced into my skin. The feel of his hot, wet tongue against my neck was perhaps the most disgusting thing I had ever experienced in my life. It was worse than blood dripping off my wounds, worse than tears falling down my cheeks; and ten times worse than the pain of being kissed without consent.

"Say it," he growled again, and something within me snapped.

Somewhere, somehow, I knew I needed to get away. Adrenaline was buzzing through my body, and my instincts were screaming at me to run; that I was in more danger now than I had ever been in my entire life. There was no basis to the frenzy building inside my soul. I had known from the start that this boy was a bloodthirsty monster - the look in his eyes was too demonic to be normal -, but the simple fact that my survival depended upon my departure had not clicked until now.

I struggled blindly within his grasp, trying to find a way out of the clutches of a hell-bent demon while, at the same time, trying to understand my reasons for such inane terror.

Understanding hit with what I heard next.

"Say you're mine."

The fear that hit me then was more suffocating than the grip tightening around my rib cage. I couldn't breathe, and I could barely think but for a single word swirling madly within my skull.

Obsession. Obsession, _obsession, obsession!_

It hit me like a whirlwind, forcing my body to halt it's desperate movements, and suddenly the red-head's actions were made clear. He was touching me (No, _touching _wasn't strong enough of a verb. _Attaching himself to my very being_ was more like it.) because, in his twisted mind, it was the only way to ensure that I, his obsession, wouldn't leave him.

No, no, that can't be right! Why would he be obsessed with me? It makes no sense!

And then suddenly, the words of his makeup-wearing companion echoed through my mind. _'I mean, I thought you couldn't touch…' _It seemed like ages ago when this was said, and though I only vaguely recalled such words, the memory of them would forever be burned into my skull; just as the memory of the red-head's kiss would forever be burned onto my lips.

Can't touch? But that…that's impossible, isn't it? I mean, he's touching me now; I can feel it!

Oh, God, could I feel it! My body began to shake, though with something far from fear. I didn't understand how I could be terrified of this boy one minute, and shivering with passion the next. It didn't make sense. _He _didn't make sense, _I _didn't make sense, and I suppose this senslessness was the most logical thing shared between us.

"I…" I began, but found my breath trapped in my throat. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to respond? "I-I… - ah!"

Something both grainy and slimy climbed up my leg, and I gasped in shock. The substance - _it must be his sand…_ - curled upwards, clinging to my body; encasing it, trapping it. I was frightened beyond comprehension at the sheer power I felt buzzing through each grain; terrified of the chakra even as my mind registered the stench.

Death.

I was surrounded by death - completely, helplessly trapped -, and I had to force down the bile rising in my throat.

It surrounded me, that ghastly smell rising closer, closer, ever _closer_ to my face, and I found myself too frightened to even move. Shifting, the sand rearranged mine and the stranger's bodies, until he was leaning up against me; above me, around me, surrounding my body, engulfing my very being with his undeniably powerful presence.

The noise he made barely registered in my mind, though his exhalation of breath shuffled the hair atop my head and the movement, though slight, snapped me back into reality.

I was _scared_; scared beyond comprehension, and in that fear I sought comfort.

Fully aware of what I was doing, I leaned back into the monster which had caused my troubles, hoping and praying that the sand would fall short of my face; would stop at my throat and fail to advance any closer to my stench-abused nostrils.

It barely registed in my mind that the sand was shifting - that my front was now exposed to the chilly winds of night - until the sound of a sigh and the warmth of another's arms surrounding my middle broke me from my haze. I felt the stranger's cheek brush up against my hair, closed my eyes as his warm arms rubbed away the fear which had settled in the pit of my stomach, and nearly sighed myself as another blush tinted my cheeks at his actions.

He was almost…_tender_. Though, what he said next shattered my little illusion.

"Do not be afraid. I won't kill you…yet."

Was that supposed to comfort me!?

I shook violently in his grasp - _the grasp of a murderer!_ - and felt the sting of tears gather in my eyes.

The sand, at the wave of my captor's hand, whirled me around to face the harsh boy, and for the briefest of moments I let hope flicker in my gaze. Maybe he would let me go now?

The smirk in his eyes - odd, how I could see such a thing in another's gaze, when their facial expression alluded to nothing - proved otherwise.

Fury replaced fear, and I found myself staring into his black-rimmed orbs with the heat of hell's fire.

"I hate you!" And I thrashed with all my might in his grasp, trying to get away, longing for freedom and normality.

He chuckled at my attempts, and I couldn't help the barrage of angry words which slipped my lips. "You…" I gasped for breath. "…sadistic…" Another pause for air. "…monster!"

"I know," was his simple, arrogant reply, and before I could protest I found myself inches from his face.

I gasped, tossing my head to the side, refusing to look the other in the eye; refusing to acknowledge his presence.

"Now," he continued, and I couldn't help but hear the lightness to his tone, the sadistic monster. "Say it."

My blood boiled, and I whipped my head back around to face him, allowing my eyes to shine with the intensity of my fury.

"Never!" I hissed, enjoying how the mirth in his eyes faded with each passing second. "I belong to _no one_! Especially not some hideous, monstrous, sand-controlling _freak_!"

And before I could spit out another livid word, I found myself flying through the air.

A million thoughts ran through my mind at once. The first being, _I'm free_, while the next, _It's cold,_ followed by, _And windy, _broke through of their own accord. You'd think that, with a tactical mind like mine, my predicament would have registered sooner. As it were, it took a full sixty-fourth of a second for me to realize I was flying.

_Wait a minute,_ I thought, letting the wind rush through my ears, watching as the ground got closer and closer._ I can't fly…_

By the time it finally clicked that I was _falling_, I had calculated that I had about three seconds to react. Of course, measuring the distance between myself and the nearby window ledge that might save my life, and adding my length and strength to the equation took another quarter of a second. Considering the irony that my life _wasn't _flashing before my eyes, and that my last thought _wasn't _of Sasuke but of mathematical calculations, wasted another three-quarters of a second. By the time I realized I only had two seconds left, the life-saving window ledge that I was supposed to grab hold of had drifted out of sight above me.

When it clicked in my head that my chance for survival had just passed by, only one word came to mind.

Crap.

And with this word came remembrance of this morning's struggle to find an outfit. With this word came remembrance of my run-in with the red-head; came the memory of my first kiss; the thought of my first passionate embrace; of my innocence being raped though my virginity remained intact; my realization of his obession; anger at my helplessness; blinding fury; rushing wind; counting down the time…

…What had I been counting down to, again?

Down…down…down…

I looked below me, and saw that the pavement had grown in a few moment's time. I had never thought immobile concrete threatening before, but I found that nothing could be so terrible as the vision of that hard, yawning blackness opening up; seemingly ready to swallow me, though I knew my end would be much more painful than simply disappearing.

Two more seconds shrunk to one, and I briefly wondered what my last thought would be before hitting the ground.

My subconscious mind answered for me.

I'm going to die.

And I fainted.

::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::

When I opened my eyes, I half expected to see an angel standing above me.

When the face of my sensei swam into my vision, I panicked.

"Oh, crap! I'm in the _other _place!"

I heard him chuckle as I shuffled backwards, and looked up to find the Sharingan-user smiling that one-eyed smile of his.

"Good to see you too, Sakura."

When I did nothing but openly gape, the Jounin tipped his spiky-haired head to the side and crouched down next to me.

"You're not dead," he stated rather cheerfully, as if forgetting the fact that I had come close enough.

"K-Kakashi-sensei! Wh-what?" I spat out gracefully, my eyes wide with shock. "B-but I… And the ledge - … And - and… Where did you come from!?"

Still all smiles, though his voice had taken on a hint of seriousness to it, he answered, "I'm your sensei, Sakura. It's my job to make sure you're safe."

_Oh God, _I thought, resisting the urge to smack myself in the forehead. _My sensei is stalking me!_

As if reading my mind - and maybe he did, what with that creepy red eye of his and all -, he chuckled lightly and lifted up. "After seeing you in the alley, I figured it would be best to make sure nothing happened on your way home."

Then, whipping out his infamous book, he flipped it open and averted his gaze to the moonlit pages. "And when you made it inside, I settled myself into a little alcove across the street and lost myself in reading."

I didn't question _what_, exactly, it was that he read, for it was irrelevant at the moment, though the mystery was an itch I would scratch later. I did, however, freeze at the thought of him seeing mine and the red-head's little…romp, for lack of a better word.

His next comment confirmed my fears.

"I didn't realize you and the Sand-Genin were…intimate." The way he said it was so nonchalant, so uncaring, as if such a thing could actually happen; as if such a thing was actually possible.

It made me angry, to a certain degree, and though I knew Kakashi-sensei meant nothing of it, I allowed that anger to slip out.

"We're _not_," I practically hissed, which gave my sensei cause to rip his eye from the book he held.

"Hm," was all he said - a noncommittal phrase which could mean anything, and which I wouldn't allow my mind to analyze. It was just Kakahi-sensei. It was just his way. He didn't mean what he said. He didn't know how his simple, languid words affected me; how his ignorance at my situation boiled my blood.

"Well then," and I snapped out of my daze to face the calmly collected Jounin. "I take it you can make it to your front door without causing too much damage, hm?"

I nodded, and turned away from my teacher to face the house on the other side of the street. I could see the vague silhouette of the red-head alighting from the roof into the window of the building next to mine.

_Great,_ I thought sarcastically, repressing the shiver which threatened to crawl up my spine. _We're neighbors._

Then, with a cursory nod to the Jounin, I stepped out into the darkened street; noticing how - though I wasn't falling from the roof of a three-story building - the sight of the blackened pavement reminded me that my life was in danger, and that my survival depended on my ability to get away from the red-head.

Well, I _was _away, and it was all just a matter of staying out of that monster's grasp now. Good thing I was bent on _never_ seeing him again.

Stepping lightly through the front door of my home, I planned on tip-toeing up to my room when the biting words of my mother stopped me.

"Sakura, is that you?"

_Great,_ I thought, freezing in place, too frightened to reply. _Just my luck she would still be up, filling out mission reports._

I heard the scuffle of paper, and the sound of a chair scraping against tile. In an instant, my mother was standing before me, terrifying in her righteous anger.

"Just where have you been, young lady!?"

"I.. - Uh - …Well…" Crap, I had nothing.

She tapped her foot impatiently, hands on her hips, waiting for me to reply. But what could I say? _'Oh, yeah, I was just out having a lovely evening on the rooftop when our neighbor attacked me and sent me flying into the street below. Oh, don't worry! My perverted sensei was watching me and saved me at the last second…literally.'_

I could just see her reaction now. A slight lift to the lips, widened eyes; a pale face contrasting lividly red cheeks. Wait a minute, I _could_ see her reaction!

I wondered what had gotten her so riled up - _I mean, come on! I haven't even lied to her yet!_ -, when she lifted a hand and pointed at my neck.

"Is that a hickey!?"

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_Now, technically, this isn't a cliffie. I don't plan on finishing this scene. I'll leave that to your imaginations. ;-) _

_Anyways, this chapter was definitely one of the hardest for me to write. It took me a while to decide on whether Sakura would save herself, or if someone else should do it. After deciding it would __be someone else, I had to choose who, exactly, was going to do it. At first, I was leaning towards Sasuke (Going for the "I followed you home because that guy was creepy and I didn't want one of my teammates to end up dead" approach, which fits in with the idea that he's protective of his friends because of the murder of his family, no?), and was going to have Sakura debate over who was better - Sasuke or Gaara - by comparing the two's touch. But then I figured, it's a little too early in Sakura and Gaara's relationship (It's only been a day, remember?) for her to believably convince herself to pursue the red-head (Who, by the way, she doesn't even his name yet.)._

_So I went for the next-best thing: Kakashi! He's one of my favorite characters anyways, and I just LOVE writing him (He's so fun!). Besides, it kind of makes more sense for him to rescue Sakura rather than Sasuke. Kakashi feels he needs to protect his students. Sasuke has a one-track mind bent on gaining power to kill his brother. So...yeah._

_Review, please, and DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE **MIDNIGHT TEARS FORUM**!!!_


	18. Of Shameless Eavesdropping

_Well, here's chapter seventeen! This will, hopefully, be the last chapter of just one POV for a while. This was probably more of a filler chapter, though I really wanted to show the relationship between Gaara and his siblings, and let you see just how much Sakura was changing him. Next chapter, the plot comes back into play, and from there, total madness!_

_-Kodu_

**NOTE:** Once again, "Midnight Tears: Introspect," the forum for this story, is up and running! Go over and check it out! I plan on posting a spoiler for a bit of the epilogue sometime this week, and I might mess around with some different POVs and post them there to see what you think.

_Review , please! Anything you say - no matter how small - always means so much to me!_

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**17**

**- Gaara -**

I was angry - at the girl, at _myself _-, and I figured the best thing to do now was sit and meditate.

Jumping lithely from the rooftop and swinging in through the window, I stepped softly through the grime-caked hallway and sat myself down in front of one of the closed doors.

Perhaps a bedroom would have afforded more privacy as I calmed the bloodlust racing through my veins, but judging by the disgusting shape of the hallway, I figured the actual rooms faired no better. So I settled for the creaking wooden floor below me, leaning my back against the coolness of the door behind.

The noises of the night came to my ears as I closed my eyes, but that didn't surprise me. I had come to find that when one sense is closed off, the others heightened to make up for the loss. Touch had always been something I lacked, something I could never understand, so my body made up for this loss by raising the level of how I felt things.

I couldn't hold a person's hand, so the ghost of a breeze against my face was stronger, more intimate, than what might be considered normal. I couldn't brush my fingers through another's hair, so the warmth of the sun practically soaked through my very being, surrounding me with a tingling heat.

True, I couldn't touch, but I _felt _strongly.

Just as my breathing leveled out, the sound of shuffling and a muffled voice came to my ears from the room behind me. Usually, I wasn't one to care what the others in my team did, as long as they kept their distance, but it was late and I was a little surprised they were still up. My curiosity peeked, and I tilted my head to lay my ear against the door.

The unintelligible noises were clearer now, and I could distinguish Kankuro's voice from the random shuffling of feet in the background. With my eyes closed, it was easier to hear what he said, and having nothing better to do, I resorted to shameless eavesdropping.

_"Temari,"_ he hissed quietly, making me strain to hear._ "Hey sis, are you awake?"_

More random shuffling and a painful sounding thump later, my sister answered.

_"I am now. What do you want, Kankuro, and why are you in my room?"_

_"I just…wanted to talk…"_ He was hesitant in his answer, probably nervous that Temari would dismiss him for being foolish.

_"At three in the morning?"_ There was a pause, and then a loud exhalation of breath._ "Alright, what's on your mind?"_

_"Well,"_ Kankuro started,_ "It's about…Gaara."_

I found myself subconsciously pressing my ear closer to the door.

_"I figured as much,"_ replied Temari, and at the tone of her voice I imagined she held her head in her hands._ "Is it…about that girl?"_ Now she was the one to sound hesitant.

_"Yeah,"_ came the simple reply, and for a long time no one said anything. For a moment, I wondered if the two had consorted to whispering, but was relieved _- relieved? Why? -_ when I heard their voices again.

"_He was acting…strange, wasn't he?"_ It was Kankuro to break the silence.

Temari chuckled halfheartedly. _"Gaara always acts strange." _

_"Yeah…I know."_ He didn't sound convinced._ "Do you…do you think that he actually can touch? That maybe he just doesn't want us around?"_

_"We're his family,"_ my sister stated, as if that solved everything; as if, because of this little fact, nothing could come between us.

_"Family means nothing to him."_ And, though I knew his words would hurt her, Kankuro was right. 'Family' was just a way to keep close bonds with others to sate the fear of loneliness. I was cursed to live a life without these bonds, so I severed them completely. This family of mine was nothing but bags of meat, forced to watch me for the sake of the village they guarded.

_"Yeah…I just - …I wish…"_ Temari couldn't seem to finish her sentences, and I found myself annoyed at this fact. What did she wish? Why did she sound almost…disappointed about my attitude towards them? It had never bothered them before. Frightened them into submission, maybe, but I had never heard them question our relationship, if it could even be called such.

_"I know," _Kankuro broke in, and for an annoyingly painful moment I felt the sting of rejection. My siblings were close. They rarely showed it, but I knew it was true. They clung to each other as family should; with strength, and support, and trust. It was disgusting, it was weak, and it was utterly, irrevocably,_ unfair._

_"Hey, I better get going,"_ my brother stated, the scuffle of feet against wood alerting me to his departure.

I didn't bother to move, and when the weight of the door against my back left, and the sound of a shocked gasp met my ears, I tilted my head to the side to gaze at my sibling with a single black-rimmed eye. For a moment, I wasn't sure who I was looking at, as Kankuro had washed off his face paint to sleep, but I shook off the confusion quickly, not allowing myself to dwell on how much he resembled our father, the Kazekage.

"G-Gaara! I didn't know - …I mean, we didn't think - …" Kankuro trailed off in his mindless rant, and I found myself wishing he would speak to me the way he spoke to Temari. By stringing two intelligent thoughts together to form a sentence, instead of stammering like some cowardly idiot. My brother wasn't cowardly. Nothing scared him, except for me…and maybe Temari when she got in a rage.

Silently, I lifted to my feet, grabbing the gourd propped up against the wall beside me out of habit, and advanced into my sister's room. Kankuro backed into the tiny space to avoid being attacked by my sand, and I took that chance to shut the door behind me.

I could smell their fear, and was more annoyed than hurt at their obvious terror at my presence. But I couldn't really blame them. They were, after all, trapped in a small, dark room with a murderer who killed for the fun of it, and who had threatened to take their own lives countless times.

Propping the source of my strength up against the wall, I leaned into the door behind me and crossed my arms. Nothing was said for a long time, and, as their window faced the adjoining house and was therefore shrouded in shadow, not even the light of the moon illuminated the blackness surrounding us. We were unable to speak, unable to even see, until Temari lit a candle by her bedside dresser, lighting up her room for my scrutiny.

It was disgusting, just as I had thought, though it seemed my sister had changed her sheets and tried her hand at dusting. Just the thought of Temari cleaning was amusing. True, I never paid attention to my sibling's personalities, but with the stubborn anger she constantly showed, I found it hard to believe she would be the kind of person to do something so menial a task as tidying up a room.

Being the oldest, Temari was often the one to take charge - or so I had seen from her interaction with Kankuro. Keeping this in mind, I watched as she sat herself upright on her bed and turned to me.

I was distracted by her nightclothes at first - I had never seen Temari in anything but her everyday outfit, and the paper-white shift she wore now seemed so blank on her -, then found that with her hair down, she looked like a completely different person. Shaking off the confusion I felt - it was almost strangely bonding, seeing my siblings in a way I had never seen them before -, I turned my attention to her and pierced her with a disinterested stare.

"Gaara?" Her voice was soft, questioning, and only slightly frightened. She held her emotions well in front of me, and as I reward I shifted my gaze to the wall opposite of where I stood. The tension in the air alleviated somewhat, and for a long moment we stood there in silence.

Surprisingly, it was I who spoke first.

"You look…different. Both of you." I don't really understand why I said that; it was just something I had to say. Their appearances confused me, their care for each other confused me, and for some odd reason I didn't like not knowing what my siblings did or how they acted. When they fought, when they yelled, I could believe that our whole group was dysfunctional; that I wasn't the only one to take on such a role. But when they got along, when they shared moments like these, I was forced to see that I was, indeed, the outcast, and that my role would always be such.

"You've…never seen us like this, have you?" I was surprised at Kankuro's tone - his voice was rarely even when he spoke to me -, and turned my ice-blue eyes to him.

I studied his face for a moment, then nodded. "You look like…" I almost said 'Father,' though stopped myself just in time. I had no sire, no mother or siblings. My life began as a monster, and it continued as such. "…the Kazekage," I finished.

He tensed for a moment, and I could tell he was resisting the urge to take a step back. Instead, he caught me off guard by taking a step forward. "Yeah," he answered, and I could hear the forced humor in his tone. He paused, studying my face for a long time before the smallest of smiles crept up his visage.

"You know, you have his ears."

What was that supposed to mean? Was he mocking me? I forced Shukaku's anger out of my mind, not allowing the demon to have a hold on me. But still, the comment brought a strange mix of confusion and fury to my veins.

"Gaara." Temari's voice broke my train of thought, and I turned to face her. She averted her gaze to the floor and I could tell she was resisting the urge to wring her hands together.

"I was wondering…about that girl…" And here she trailed off. Instead of anger, I felt oddly amused.

"Do you want me to tell you about her?" My voice was low, quiet, but it was enough to cause both my siblings to snap their heads up and goad me to continue.

Sighing, I pushed off the wall and silently made my way over to Temari's bed. She didn't flinch back when I sat down, which surprised me, and Kankuro came to sit on my other side, which surprised me even more.

My hands lay open on my knees, and I stared at them attentively, trying to gather my thoughts and find a reason for my behavior. That girl's touch had rattled my emotions more than I liked to think. Now, I was not only aching for touch, but I longed for companionship as well. Contact had been euphoric, electrifying, but the moment that kunoichi had leaned into me, something in my chest had lit fire. She had already been pressed against my body, but that simple movement backwards showed her trust. She had believed in me - believed I would protect her from my sand -, and that thought had sparked something in my soul even more precious than the feel of her body against mine.

Touch made my heart beat madly in my chest.

Trust, though, gave it warmth; gave it _life_.

And if touch and trust were all I needed to feel alive, then maybe, just _maybe_, my siblings could show me the existence I longed for. The problem, though, was that I didn't understand either feelings.

Tilting my head up to stare into the flickering candle, I opened my mouth and said something I never imagined I would say in front of my siblings.

"What is touch?"

I didn't look at them, only waited for an answer to my question, watching as the fire from the candle flickered wildly about.

"That's…hard to answer," replied Temari, and I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, watching as she scrunched up her nose in thought.

Kankuro shifted slightly - probably a nervous habit -, and for a fleeting moment I wondered if he might accidentally come too close and be thrown off the bed by my sand shield.

"Well…Kankuro? Any ideas?" My sister also moved a little closer, and their proximity made me nervous.

"Touch is…uh…one of five senses…"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at my brother's comment. I already knew that, I wasn't an idiot.

Temari sighed beside me and pressed a hand to her forehead. "He's not stupid, Kankuro."

"I know that! I was just trying to help…"

"Oh yeah? Well try a little harder!"

"Well how am I _supposed _to answer a question like that!?"

I resisted the urge to strangle the both of them, and instead rose from my seat rather awkwardly, seeing as my siblings had been leaning over me, trying to get a better view of each other to argue.

"Be quiet." My voice was raspy, even, and quiet compared to their tones, yet it held more authority than any amount of yelling. They followed my command instantly, and watched my back nervously as I headed for the door, grabbing my gourd on the way out.

"Gaara…" started Temari, but the look in my eye as I snapped my head back around silenced her immediately.

I paused when I felt the coolness of the door's handle against my hand, and without turning back to my siblings, said to them in a threatening manner, "Forget this," and walked out.

This time I seated myself in the corner beside the window and gazed up at the sky, letting my thoughts unwind and savoring the sweet blankness which overcame my body and numbed my senses.

Darkness gave to twilight, twilight gave to sunrise, and in the hours that spanned between those times I found my mind shocked into a numb stupor; my body overloaded with the sense of touch. Watching my nighttime companions - the stars - fade into nothingness was always a melancholy moment, like waving goodbye to a good friend - though I had never had such a companion in my life. The morning sun was always tinged in a pale yellow color; the sky around a light blue to match my eyes.

I liked Suna's sunrises better, though Konoha rivaled my homeland in striking sunsets. Here, the early morning mists rose to block out the light, filtering what escaped into a sickly yellow-green color. The desert was too dry for mist, though, and instead veiled itself in clouds of dust. We were not called the Wind Country for nothing. At dawn, a light, swirling breeze would blow in from the south - I had spent enough time on the rooftops of my home to have such a thing memorized - and kick up light clouds of dust. The light which broke through this wispy, smoke-like cover shone a pleasant shade of orange.

I found myself missing the warmth of Suna and the colors of my home country. It was an irrational emotion - the people in that land despised me almost as much as I despised them -, and yet I couldn't help but feel a kind of attatchment to the Land of Wind.

When a door creaked open beside me and Baki stepped lithely out into the hallway, he didn't seem surprised to see me. Instead, my sensei nodded in my direction and took off down the staircase, obviously arranging the details of our mission with an unsuspecting Konoha.

_Good, _I thought, letting my gaze travel to the sand that had wrapped itself around my feet._ The sooner we start our mission, the sooner we can leave this disgusting village.

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This is one of those chapters where another POV would have been nice. I would love to go more in-depth on what Kankuro and Temari were thinking during their little conversation, so I might write out something and post it on the forum. I've decided to have this story revolve around only Gaara and Sakura's POV, but if things become decidedly vague or painful for me to write, I'll start another story to compliment this one with different POVs._

-Kodu


	19. Of Bearing The Team From Hell

_Firstly, I apologize for the long wait. In all honesty, I really procrastinated on this chapter, but you'll found out why at the ending author's note. Secondly, I hope the fact that this is the longest chapter yet makes up for it! It's over twice the length of most of my chapters...and I even thought of splitting it up, but decided against it. So, consider this my peace offering for making you wait an entire week for an update!_

_- Kodu_

**NOTE:** I've posted up a spoiler on the "Midnight Tears" forum, if you want to go check it out. It's just a little sample of the epilogue, not very detailed, but you do see a bit of a change in Gaara, and of course a character death... So, yeah. Check it out.

_Thanks so much for your support! Know that I read all you reviews, no matter how big or small, and that they always inspire me to write more! So tell me what you think, please!_

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18**

**- Sakura -**

I hate mornings.

My alarm clock was a blaring testimony to the pain of early rising, and I found my fist connecting with the snooze button several times before finally giving up and rolling out of bed. As a ninja, I was supposed to be a living representation of deadly grace and agility; bred for efficiency and cunning. As a thirteen-year-old girl who had stayed up way past her bedtime, I found myself representing the very essence of awkward clumsiness and hazy stumbling.

My feet had once again tangled in the sheets, and as I fought with all my might to free myself, I found my efforts to be a losing battle.

Landing roughly on the ground with a muted _thump_, I rested my forehead on the off-white carpet below and sighed deeply.

_Beaten by my own bedcovers, _I thought ironically, and would have given up struggling, for a nice little nap on the floor had my mother not burst through my door at that very moment.

"Up, up, Sakura!" She sounded excited, and I wondered how anyone could be so disgustingly happy in the morning.

"Uhhh…" I groaned, rolling onto my side so my back faced away from the woman bubbling with energy just inside my doorframe.

She would have none of this, though, and rolled me around to face her with the heel of her foot.

"I'm leaving for a misson." I vaguely heard the proclamation in the back of my mind, and knew that in the haze clouding my thoughts, in ten minutes I wouldn't be able to remember a word she had said.

This didn't deter her, though - _annoyingly head-strong woman… _-, and instead she knelt down beside my face to tap at my nose almost playfully.

"You'd better get up, Sakura. It's already eight o'clock…" For a moment, I wondered why this would matter. It was Saturday, my day off, and I didn't have to be anywhere. I could afford to sleep in. Her next words, though, grabbed my full attention and shocked me into waking.

"…And you've been summoned by the Hokage for a missions briefing at nine."

I banged my head on my bed and nearly suffered from a concussion in my attempts to rise from the floor.

"W-what…?" Surely I must have heard her wrong. The Hokage was an important man, and, though he took the time to get to know each villager, it was rare for him to personally meet with someone of lower rank, especially a genin like me.

Finally winding down from her bubbly attitude earlier, my mom just gave me a blank look and straightened up.

"Get ready quickly, Sakura. I have to leave in a few minutes, so I won't be here to help." With that said, she left the room quickly, and I struggled to my feet to limp into the washroom. As I let the warmth of a shower's hot water slide down my back, the slam of the front door alerted me to her departure.

Alone now, I stepped from the welcome heat of my bathroom with only a towel to guard against the chill of the airconditioned house. Making my way towards the closet, I flung the doors open and nearly gasped at what I saw.

Yesterday, I had forgotten to do the laundry, and now that small space was completely empty. Glancing at the clock, my pulse quickened to find it was already eight-forty, and the Hokage's office was at least twice as far away as the bridge Team 7 met on.

There was no way I could make it on time.

Crap.

And thus was the beginnings of a new day.

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The Hokage's tower stood like a beacon in the center of Konoha, our nation's symbol proudly adorning its front in a streak of defiant crimson. I stared up at the building with a sense of awe, for that sturdy structure represented the power and pride of Konoha. My home was strong, and I, a daughter of the Hidden Leaf Village, would grow in its strength. It was mind-boggling, really, to think that the power of my homeland - the power of Naruto, and Sasuke, and Kakashi-sensei, and even the _Third _- was mine for the taking. That these unbelievably strong shinobi were people I could learn from, and could grow with.

The shame of my weakness was intensified by the light of the geniuses of Konoha.

Hanging my head and trying to bar such thoughts from my mind, I pushed through the door and continued up a flight of stairs to my destination. Standing in front of the door leading to the Sandaime Hokage, I gave myself a once-over and sighed at what I saw.

Having nothing else to wear, I had scoured my mother's closet and found a pair of black shorts and a red over-shirt with slits in the side. The shirt was too big and came down just above the shorts, so I had tied a thin white rope around my waist to make it look intentional. A simple, spiraling design adorned the sleeves and hem of the shirt in the same white color as the rope, which only serves to bring out such subtle touches even more. All in all, I was proud of my hastily thrown together outfit, though I planned on going home and doing all my laundry as soon as possible.

Shaking away the anxiety I felt about what I was wearing - _Sandaime-sama wouldn't care!_ - I stepped into the Hokage's office, the sight of several talented Jounin and a few familiar genin shocking me into a silent stupor.

_Something's going on here,_ I silently mused, walking in and closing the door behind me.

"Great," said a spiky-haired boy, and I turned my eyes to him for a moment. "I'm teamed up with a bunch of women. How troublesome."

"Shikamaru?" I didn't understand why this lazy boy had been called here along with myself, but as I turned to view the other occupants of the room, I realized something much more complex than a simple meeting was going on.

To my right stood a nervous, white-eyed girl - _What is Hyuuga Hinata doing here…?_ -, her hands clasped in front of her as she sought out protection in Kurenei-sensei's shadow.

"H-hello Sa-Sakura-chan," she whispered, and my gaze flickered over to her for a breif moment before scanning the rest of the room.

Off to Shikamaru's right stood Asuma-sensei, smoking as usual, though the usually calm look on his face was now replaced with an anxious demeanor. Kakashi-sensei was leaning casually against the back wall, staring off into space, seemingly unaware that I had entered the room. Kurenei-sensei and Hinata were more or less in the middle of the room, and the Hokage sat stoically behind his desk, the ease with which he glanced at each individual quelling the tension in the air.

When his eyes fell on me, though, the piercing look in his gaze made me gulp.

"Sakura, you're late."

I opened my mouth to beg for forgiveness - what else could someone do in lieu of a Kage's anger? - when Kakashi beat me to it.

With his head tilted to the side, and a single eye upturned in a smile, he answered, "I guess I'm rubbing off on her, Sandaime-sama."

_Oh my God, I'm later than Kakashi-sensei!_ The thought nearly sent me sprawling against the ground, but I resisted the urge, if just barely

"Hm," was the Third's simple reply, and with no protest from him, I sidled over towards my sensei and leaned against the wall to his left.

"I suppose I'll repeat what has already been touched on," the Hokage spoke evenly, and eyed me and Kakashi for a moment. "Are you sure she is the right genin for this mission?"

"Of course," my teacher said confidently, and I wondered what they were talking about.

"Alright." And with the strength and grace only a Kage could posess, Sandaime-sama lifted from his seat behind his desk to better look at each and every genin present.

"You have been called here today to be briefed on an important misson." He paused for a moment, looking Shikamaru, Hinata, and I over with a calculating air, as if sizing us up.

"You three," he continued, "Will be working together as spies."

"Wait," I interrupted before common sense could grab hold of me, and found myself blushing as every pair of eyes turned to my face. Forcing back the lump of embarassment that had been trapped in my throat, I spoke up. "A shinobi spy? That isn't a genin's job…"

The Hokage looked me over with a harsh demeanor for a moment before his face lightened and he let out an audible sigh.

"That's right, Sakura. Missions like these are usually carried out by Jounin, or highly skilled Chuunin. But this is an exception."

There was a long pause in which no one dared to speak. Hinata's soft breaths sounded almost harsh in the silence that followed, and I nearly yelped in surprise when Shikamaru shifted on his other leg and sighed.

Closing his eyes for a breif moment, the Hokage settled back in his chair and clasped his hands together, arching the fingers under his chin. When he looked at us again, I could see the inner struggle and silent desperation glowing in his gaze.

"Four shinobi from the Hidden Village of Sand are visiting Konoha on the pretense of competing in the Chuunin exams. Any other time, this wouldn't have bothered us, but something has been brought to our attention."

He paused again, and I found my inner self yelling for him to continue.

The Third's eyes hardened considerably, and he stared at us genin with a seriousness I had never before seen upon his face.

"This time, they've brought a weapon capable of destroying all of Konoha."

I gasped, as did Hinata who - in my inattention - had stepped up beside me. Even the lazy Nara who found it too troublesome to show much more emotion than contempt widened his eyes.

"What do you mean?" We three stated simultaneously, though Hinata's words trembled a little more than mine and Shikamaru's.

Sighing - Sandaime-sama had been doing a lot of that lately… -, the Hokage glanced towards the clock on the wall, then back to our faces.

"Keep it down. The Sand shinobi will be here soon."

I nodded as if he had addressed me directly, and willed myself to calm my trembling nerves. Urging the leader of Konoha to continue, I listened with rapt attention as he spoke.

"Their group consists of three genin and one Jounin. The genin were held back from the Chuunin exams for a year to improve their skills, though we have reason to believe this was merely to wait for their weapon to gain strength. This weapon is a boy and, though little is known about him, we have come to believe he is a highly unstable, highly dangerous shinobi."

When he failed to continue after that, I was surprised to find that Shikamaru was the one to break the silence this time.

"How do we know about this boy in the first place? And why would they have reason to attack us?" It was rumored that the lazy ninja was a genius in disguise - that he merely lacked the devotion to do much with his career as one of Konoha's shinobi -, and as I looked up at him now, I could see the intelligence shining in his eyes and found it very easy to believe those rumors.

The Third's lips quirked up at the corner, and I knew his train of thought had followed along the lines of my own.

"The answer to your first question is simple. Years ago, the Kazekage had come to Konoha asking for the services of our most skilled assassin to help destroy a 'dangerous nuisance,' as he had put it."

That small upturn to his mouth disappeared as the Hokage thought back on that time.

"Our assassin was killed, and even though it was a time of mourning for Konoha, we were skeptical. He had been a part of ANBU, you see, and had taken on many S-rank criminals in the past. This mission had been classified as an A-rank assignment. It should have been easy. He shouldn't have died."

With each word, the Sandaime Hokage's voice seemed to grow thick with emotion, and I could see just how much each and every person in Konoha meant to him. When someone from the Hidden Leaf Village died, he mourned as much as the deceased's closest family. Sarutobi-sama loved all of us, I knew that, but I had never quite seen that dedication until just now.

Clearing his throat, he continued with his explanation.

"When questioned, the Kazekage answered that he would no longer need our services, and veritably disappeared from Konoha all together. Ever since then, we have had little contact, save for the Chuunin exams, and even so he had declined Konoha's invitation to the competition last year."

Shaking my head, I dared to interrupt. "But how does this answer Shikamaru's question?"

I heard a frustrated sigh beside me, and turned to see the lazy boy glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, the look on his face clearly stating, 'How could I be teamed up with _her_?'

'Keep looking at me like that,' yelled my inward self angrily. 'And I'll _show _you!'

_Shut up,_ I practically growled inside my head, and tried to remain focused on the boy before me.

"Hmph, women can be so _troublesome_," he said, and I could see Kurenei-sensei clenching her fist out of the corner of my eye. "ANBU are a higher level of ninja than just normal shinobi like us."

'Speak for yourself!' shouted Inner Sakura again, and I was sorely tempted to agree with her. This Nara kid may be a genius, but he was an _idiot _if he thought I would count myself in the same group as him.

'But you _are _in the same group as him, or have you already forgotten the mission Sarutobi-sama has been explaining?'

_Be quiet!_

"For a skilled ANBU shinobi to be killed," he continued, oblivious to my inward argument. "The killer would have to be even more skilled; possibly an S-rank criminal, or even higher. The Kazekage must have known this, if he had had previous dealings with this 'dangerous nuisance.' For him to ask for an A-rank mission when he knew it was easily an S-rank mission means he _wanted _Konoha to send a weaker ninja to fight this powerful shinobi. And, no matter how you look at it, this could only mean that he was planning on one of our shinobi to die."

"B-but why?" stuttered a timid Hinata, and I was surprised she even had the courage to speak out.

Shikamaru seemed a little shocked as well, and his agitated gaze softened as it locked onto milky white eyes.

"Because," the Nara stated, glancing at Sandaime-sama as if to let him share the full impact of his words. "Even though this nuisance may have been troublesome, the Kazekage was willing to let it hone its skills, as long as it practiced on other ninja besides those of Sand."

"So," I added, glancing at the occupants in the room. "You're saying that the Kazekage has been training a weapon - a boy - for the past few years by allowing whoever gets in its way to be killed, and that such a weapon is now in Konoha at this very moment?"

"Yes." The Hokage's voice was light as he said this, as if trying to make a joke, though his serious demeanor ruined that affect.

"But…_why_? Why would Sunagakure want to attack us?" I didn't understand, and I let the frustration at not being able to comprehend leak out of my voice.

Shaking his head and closing his eyes, the Sandaime Hokage answered my question with relative ease, though he looked saddened by what he said.

"Because, Sakura. Konoha is strong, the Land of Fire is strong, and other countries are threatened by this. I have tried many times to communicate my wish for peace amongst the lands, but no matter how hard I wish for such a thing, jealousy between nations will always remain. Sunagakure, unfortunately, has fallen victim to this jealousy. There is no reason behind their motives, as there is little reason behind the motives of war, save for a search for power."

That sobered me, and as I glanced at each face within the room, I realize it had sobered us all. The Third was a wise man, and standing in his presence once again reminded me just how suited he was for this job. He loved Konoha and everyone in this village as if we were his own children, and I couldn't help the swell of emotions that rose in my chest.

He was the father I could never have; a man to stand behind me when I needed support and to stand in front of me when I needed protection. I would do anything for him, for Konoha, I realized, and believed such a fact with all my heart.

And as the door to the Hokage's office opened, I found my resolve being tested in the cruelest of ways.

* * *

****

- Gaara -

No matter how much I denied it, I found my thoughts wandering to the events of last night, and as I, Baki, and the rest of my team made our way to this stinking village's Hokage, I found it increasingly difficult to stay focused on the task at hand.

Every corner we rounded had us squeezing closer together to avoid Konoha's traffic, and though we did not touch, just the mere proximity of my siblings reminded me of last night's conversation, if you could even call it such. Their words echoed in my mind, the sense of familiarity shown by how they could communicate through body language alone.

It was annoying to watch, and even more annoying to be left out.

_Always alone, _I thought, and suddenlythe distant memory of a kickball game flashed through my mind, and I found myself gripping my head to try and force such an image out of my brain. _'Don't run!'_

"Gaara?" came Temari's questioning voice, and it was as if I was hearing her for the first time. "Are you alright?" The apprehension was apparent in her tone, but the hint of something deeper taunted the edges of my ears. Was she afraid? Probably. Was she worried? Probably, but whether for herself or me, I didn't know.

Instead of responding with the usual, 'Shut up or I'll kill you,' I merely gazed up at my older sibling with icy blue eyes and slowly shook my head.

_No,_ I thought._ I'm not alright. But there's nothing you can do about it, unless you are willing to die by my hands to alleviate some of this bloodlust._

I could feel Shukaku's presence prickling at the edges of my sanity, but I refused to allow him entrance, and instead swallowed hard and breathed deeply, straightening my back to walk at a more steady pace. Oddly enough, my defiance didn't bring on that jab of nauseating pain which brought me to my knees. I was surprised by this; pleased, but surprised, nonetheless.

As I stepped up to the Hokage's tower, the plan that Baki had briefly discussed with us flashed through my mind. It was a simple idea, really. Just a matter of keeping a group of weakling Konoha genin away from Sound's base of operations. My sensei had explained that we would be split up into three groups of two, and each assigned a certain part of the forest to scout. Today, we were meeting to discuss the details of this 'guarding mission' with the Hokage, as he had requested such.

As Baki stepped up to the Hokage's office door, I glanced behind me to see my siblings standing at attention, their stances filled with an easing tension. Kankuro looked determined, a hint of ferocity shining in his eyes, though that ridiculous face paint made him look anything but dangerous. Temari seemed a little more passive, though an arrogant smirk tickled the edges of her lips, and the hands resting on her hips added to her quirky attitude.

I, myself, could care less how these events unfolded, and let that reality show on my face as we stepped inside the room. It was crowded, I noticed, as Baki closed the door behind us, and I found myself shuffling towards the most unoccupied wall.

As I leaned casually against the wall a little ways away from a silver-haired man, I took the time to study the inhabitants of the room.

A milky-eyed girl was staring wide-eyed at my form, and I returned her look with a cold glare of my own. She instantly averted her gaze to the ground, and I found the demon part of my personality greatly enjoyed this show of submission. She was weak, I was strong, and she had the common sense to admit such a thing with her body language.

Next I turned my eyes to the black-haired genin beside the girl. He was looking at me with calculating eyes, and I found myself annoyed at how he seemed to analyze my every move and store away the knowledge he gained for future referance. This one was a threat, if but in intelligence alone, and I could hear Shukaku growl inside of me at the idea of another surpassing my own abilities in any aspect. I would have to watch him.

My mind was still lingering on this new threat as I turned my gaze to the next genin, but when I caught sight of strikingly pink hair, I was brought crashing back down to reality.

Kunoichi!

And everything I had experienced in the past twenty-four hours because of her hit me like a crippling blow. The bloodlust, the ache for touch, the hint of trust, the longing for a family's acceptance… All of it swirled around inside my head, and I was finding it increasingly difficult to keep such things under control.

Thankfully, the Hokage's words were a much-needed distraction against my raging emotions, and I found that when I focused on the old man, I could ignore the throbbing ache inside my skull.

"Ah, good," he was saying, directing such words to I and my teammates. "You're hear. Well, let's discuss the details of guard duty, shall we?"

I saw Baki nod, and my siblings, unsure of where to go, walked over towards where I was, crossing their arms as they came to stand to either side of me.

My sensei and the Sandaime Hokage began discussing different aspects of the mission, but I found myself unable to concentrate.

Just the thought of being in such close proximity to the pink-haired girl drove me mad. My touch-depraved side wanted to catch her in the sand's grasp and drag her towards me to incite that glorious contact once again, but my sanity refused to comply. Such an act would ruin the mission, and though I cared little for my country and its search for power, I found myself unable to completely betray my homeland.

I was an unstable, bloodlust-driven monster, but I was _not _a traitor. At least, not yet. I hadn't found a good enough reason to kill off the entire village, and though a few deaths from time-to-time had scared Suna's inhabitants into hating me, I didn't destroy others when I didn't feel like it. I was like a predator; hunting when I'm hungry and passive when I'm full.

The pain which beat inside my skull, though, was becoming increasingly unbearable, and I couldn't help but lift my hands and grasp at my hair.

"…Are you alright, son?"

The voice of the Hokage was directed towards me, and when I looked up I found all eyes had turned to my trembling form. I shook in madness and anger, for fear was an emotion I no longer felt, and as I locked gazes with a set of jade green eyes, I found the darkness in my head dissipating.

Straightening, I kept my eyes locked on the pink-haired kunoichi, for holding her gaze seemed to alleviate the pain, and nodded my head.

"Hm, alright." The leader of Konoha seemed to brush off my bout of insanity with relative ease, though the others in the room were having a little more time adjusting.

"As I was saying," the Sandaime continued, and this time I had the will to listen. "You will split up into three teams of two and search the forest surrounding Konoha, staying within a forty-mile radius of the village's outer gate."

It seemed simple enough, and with the distance limit the Hokage had set, it was a possibility we wouldn't even be in range of Sound's preperations.

"You will keep the regime of a regular guard shinobi; that is, work two days, report the third, and on the seventh you will rest. Beginning tomorrow, you will spend Sunday and Monday in the forest, come back on Tuesday to report and restock on supplies, and repeat the process the next three days. Saturday is your day off, and you may do with it as you please."

_Great,_ I though sarcastically._ I have to spend my nights with an idiot Konoha shinobi for the next few months._

Breifly I wondered what would happen if I couldn't control Shukaku's bloodlust and ended up killing my partner, though brushed such a thought aside momentarily. True, it would be an inconvenience, but if a war broke out I could defend myself, and would get the chance to kill others without restraint.

So, no matter how this mission turned out, it would work towards my good.

"Right," continued the Hokage, breaking my thoughts with that single declaration. "Now, to form the teams…" He shuffled around on his desk before grabbing a piece of paper and studying it for a moment.

"When I call your name, please step forward."

My siblings tensed beside me, and I found that my own body had went rigid with suspense. Tension filled the air, and it seemed as if everyone present was holding their breath.

"Team One." The Sandaime's voice was authoritative and seemingly demanded our attention, though I doubted anyone could find it within themselves to tear their gaze away from the single piece of paper the leader of Konoha held.

"Hyuuga Hinata…"

The girl with the milky-white eyes stepped forward nervously, a blush on her face as if she were embarrassed for being called first.

"…And Kankuro."

I could hear my brother's nearly inaudible sigh as he stepped forward to stand beside the quivering girl. He looked a little agitated, though tried to tone down such an emotion when standing before the Hokage.

Nodding, the old man glanced back at his list and continued.

"Team Two. Nara Shikamaru…" The boy genin stepped forward, a look of boredom plastered on his face, though I knew not to be tricked by his lazy exterior. I noticed how his gaze shifted towards my brother and the Hyuuga girl from time-to-time, and could tell he was scrutinizing over ever little move Kankuro made.

"…And Temari."

My sister stepped forward, that quirky smirk still on her face, and came to stand beside the Konoha genin.

"Teamed up with a woman. Troublesome…" The black-haired genin remarked, and the smirk on Temari's lips widened.

"Don't worry. If we get attacked, I'll make sure you don't get hurt too much, _little boy_," my sister taunted, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

Instead, I glanced back at the pink-haired kunoichi to find her gaze was riveted to my form. She trembled, if but slightly, but I could see the glint of resolve shining in her eyes. She and I would be stuck together, and though the Hokage's declaration of the last team was unneeded, he continued anyways.

"Team Three, our last team, is Haruno Sakura…" The girl stepped forward on shaky feet, and I found myself moving towards her even before the old man called my name.

"…And Sabaku no Gaara."

I could feel the eyes of my siblings piercing my form, but only one thing ran through my mind as I stood beside the shivering kunoichi.

Sakura… Her name is Sakura…

* * *

And thus is Gaara's formal introduction to Sakura.

This chapter was extremely difficult to write, and I found myself procrastinating until the last possible moment. The reason? I couldn't decide what kind of teams to form. I was really debating on whether or not I should split up Team 7, and in the end I went through with it. My reasoning? Sasuke and Naruto are too determined to gain more power and follow their dreams to sit out on the Chuunin exams for a little guard duty. So instead I gathered up two more people who either wouldn't care, or wouldn't win anyways. And that produced Shikamaru (Which is a popular match for Temari, I find.) and Hinata (Which I don't plan on having any romantic interaction with Kankuro at all...).

The reason they, of all people, were chosen will be explained in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed chapter 18, and please review!

- Kodu


	20. Of Secret Missions and Socializing

_Well, here is another exceptionally long chapter for your enjoyment! I got carried away with this one as well, I suppose. Oh, and on a quick note, I'm in over 50 author's favorites! Thanks all!_

_- Kodu_

**NOTE:** One thing I would like to point out real quick is my updating schedule. Don't think I will give up on this fiction, because I WILL NOT. I refuse to let this story go, because, 1) I want to find out how this story ends just as much as you guys do, and 2) It has officially surpassed 40,000 words (The generally accepted minimum for a full-fledged novel.), and I won't let so much work go to waste. Now, I don't have a certain day of the week I will update on, but I try to post a new chapter at least once a week.** I will not make you wait 8 days for an update**, unless it is an emergency on my part. One week is my limit on time, meaning that on the seventh day, I _WILL_ update. Waiting for 'inspiration' is a joke. You don't wait for ideas, you _make_ them, so writers block or procrastination is NO EXCUSE for me to bring in a late update.

The last chapter was a bit of an exception to the rule. I had been lazy all week, refusing to write because I didn't really known what to write about. Come Saturday, the seventh day, I forced myself to type as much as possible around 6PM, and worked non-stop until 11:30. After proof-reading and re-writing a few things, I got the chapter out to you a little after midnight on the 8th day. I'll try to get these chapters out a little sooner than that, but if they continue to come out as long as the last one, it may take a little more time.

So, with that said, on with the story!

_Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews, and don't forget to tell me what you think about this chapter!_

**SIDE NOTE:** I've just recently stumbled upon an _incredible_ Gaasaku fic called "Shukaku Love" by _paws-bells_. You should really check it out, you won't be disappointed! If you like my fic, this one is ten times better!

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* * *

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**19**

**- Sakura -**

"Well then," the Hokage announced, lifting from his chair once again to sweep his gaze over the teams just formed. "Now that the particulars are over, why don't you six take the time to get to know each other better? You'll be working together for quite some time, and I have come to find that the best teams are those familiar with the teammates."

He was all smiles and cordiality while saying this, and though Sandaime-sama was well-meaning in his statement, I couldn't bear the thought of spending more time than absolutely necessary with the monster standing just to my right. As it were, I was finding trouble stilling my trembling hands long enough for the Jounins to not take note of my nervousness.

"B-but…" I spoke up, and instantly turned red when every pair of eyes - including those chilling blue ones I had come to hate - turned to me. "I… - um - … I'm a little busy today, Sandaime-sama." Bowing my head in respect, I could only pray that the Hokage would spare me in his infinite mercy.

Though today he seemed to be running short on compassion.

"Sakura." At the harsh way he had spoken my name, I snapped my head up to meet Sarutobi-sama's resolute gaze. "Surely it's nothing you can't miss for a little team bonding time, hm?"

How someone could turn an innocent statement into a life-threatening order with such ease was beyond me, but I suppose that was just another trait all Kage's must possess.

"Yes, sir," I managed to mumble in the smallest of voices. Glancing to my right, I suppressed the urge to shudder at the icy blue gaze that had yet to leave my body.

Sabaku no Gaara, huh?

The memory of his sand - of that horrible _stench _- came to me in a rush, and as the room tilted I forced myself to remain upright. The only outward display of my emotions was the clenched fist that was slowly getting tighter, but in a room full of Jounin, secrecy was a joke. The slightest tension from my body would alert them to my thoughts, and I knew they could read me like an open book…

…Much like that Gaara character was doing right now.

God, can't he look away for just one minute!? Doesn't he know what 'personal space' is!?

I was getting angry, and my fury built because somehow, deep inside of me, I _knew _the red-head could tell.

"Well," the Hokage spoke up, mercifully sparing me from my own derailing thoughts. "With that settled, you are all dismissed."

No one moved, whether from fear of being the first one to stand out, or from something else, I did not know. All I could comprehend at that moment was how _achingly _close the red-head was to lightly brushing his arm against mine, and in glancing about and realizing no other team stood quite so near to each other, I became irrevocably _jealous _of my comrades' ignorant safety.

There was something dangerous about this Gaara kid, couldn't they tell that? _I _felt it - _God, did I feel it! _- and the simple knowledge that I seemed to be the only one able to comprehend his hidden ferocity scared me beyond belief.

"Uh," Shikamaru interrupted my thoughts - I had never known distractions could be so welcome! - with his elegantly stated word.

This time, it was _his _turn to feel the brunt of ten pairs of eyes staring at him, and I was unexplainably angry that he didn't turn red under such pressure.

"Where do we go, exactly?"

Always one to get to the point. That Nara kid was as lazy as a sloth, but I'll admit, his desire to blow off everything and stare at clouds for hours came in handy sometimes. No doubt this very thought was running through his mind, and with such tactical genius, I was certain he could come up with a plan where we would have to spend as little time as possible with each other today.

The Hokage seemed quite content to shatter my hopes, though.

"Eat lunch, since it's close to that time, then find something else to do. Visit each other's houses, show our guests around Konoha; I don't care what you do, as long as you spend the whole day together."

The whole day together.

I felt like puking, but resisted the urge.

The _whole _day together?

This time I openly stared to my right at the boy who openly stared at me.

I could barely stand to spend five minutes in the red-head's presence without having the urge to either run, retch, or scream. How the heck was I supposed to spend an entire day with him, let alone several days in a row on the upcoming mission!?

My legs shook, and this time I didn't hide it. Sighing and resigned to my fate, I became to first person to step back and walk towards the door. Gaara followed closely behind - _Oh, God! _-, and the other genin after him.

When I reached the door, I was surprised to find a warm hand resting on my shoulder, and glanced to my left to find the single eye of my sensei quirked upward in a friendly smile.

"Sakura," he said softly, lightly, as if my life hadn't just spiraled down into the darkest pit of irony. "I need to talk to you."

Great, I had a lecture to go along with my retched fate. Could today get any worse?

I stepped aside to allow the source of my fears to walk on, and noticed, if but vaguely, how he seemed to pause for a moment as if unsure of what to do, before walking out into the hallway.

Hinata and Shikamaru nodded to me as they left - parting gestures of comfort friends shared between each other -, and the strange looks the other Sand genin gave me did not go unnoticed.

'What is _their _problem?' questioned Inner Sakura, and instead of getting angry at her appearance, I just mentally shrugged.

Turning to Kakashi-sensei, I tilted my head to the side and tried me best to smile.

"What's up?"

Instead of answering right away, he turned to the Third Hokage and bowed his head before walking towards the window and motioning me to follow.

Slightly confused, though still compliant, I followed without hesitation and soon found myself sitting at the highest point of the Hokage tower beside the infamous Copy Ninja.

"Kakashi-sensei?" I questioned after an indeterminable amount of silence had passed between us.

"Hm?" he answered, using the least amount of effort necessary to respond. I swear, sometimes he acted just like that Shikamaru kid!

"Um… What were you wanting to talk with me about?"

"Huh - O-oh!" His half-startled reply made me worry for a moment that he had forgotten what he was going to say.

"Sorry, Sakura. I forgot you were here." One lazy hand rested against the back of his silver locks as he said this, making him look both ridiculous and apologetic at the same time.

Slapping my forehead in response, I allowed Inner Sakura to rage for a few moments before forcing her back into my subconscious. I nearly yelled myself when sensei's voice stopped me.

"I requested you be teamed up with Gaara."

The statement was so blunt, so to the point, that I was once again reminded of Shikamaru's droll voice slicing through the silence like a precision weapon.

Such words shocked me into a hazy state of mind, and for the longest of moments I could think of nothing but the question swirling in my head: _Why?_

Kakashi-sensei must have sensed my numb state of confusion, for he shifted away from me slightly ('Yeah, you _better _run!' shouted Inner Sakura in a show of ferocity.) and spoke again.

"Do you hate me?"

His first statement shocked me into silence; his second shocked me back into reality.

"Wh - uh - What?" I captured his gaze and found a hint of guilt playing on that single eye, and though I wanted to scream '_Yes, I hate you!_' with all my might, I refused to hurt my teacher in such a way.

So, instead, I asked the question that had come to be from the very beginning.

"Why?"

"Why did I ask 'Do you hate me,' or why did I want you paired with Gaara?"

Gaara. It felt strange to use his name so familiarly, even if it was in my mind. I had grown used to calling him 'red-head,' and 'sand-controller,' and - probably the most appropriate of all - 'monster.'

"The second one," I stated simply, aching to know the answer and praying my sensei wouldn't be as vague as he usually was.

He sighed at this, and grabbed his Icha Icha Paradise book from his weapons holster, caressing the spine as if to soothe himself.

_That's pretty…strange,_ I thought to myself, raising an eyebrow at the act, though had to focus all my attention on Kakashi-sensei's words when he began speaking.

"Well, Sakura, I wasn't even going to consider you for this mission at all, until I saw what happened last night."

Said night flashed through my mind as it was brought to my attention, and I nearly shuddered at the memory of that scratchy sand crawling up my body; of the warmth pressed against my own; of the feeling of danger and safety buzzing through my being at once; of the adrenaline rush, and the near-kisses, and such soft hair, and oh God, such heat…

I was jerked out of my reverie by Kakashi's soft hand landing on my shoulder once again. Glancing up at him, my eyes spoke the volumes of thanks my words could not, for I had once again fallen into that train of dark thinking, and had once again been saved by the touch of another.

But that thanks receded quickly as a burning bitterness settled in the pit of my stomach.

"Why would that night have anything to do with _anything_," I growled, shrugging his hand off my shoulder and crossing my arms over my chest.

Kakashi-sensei sighed again, leaning back on his elbows to regard the sky before continuing.

"Sakura, it has everything to do with _everything_."

So, we were back to vague statements, huh? Well, I would have none of that!

"Please explain," I demanded rather than asked, as the hiss of my tone had not dulled.

And, to my surprise, he did such without question.

"Remember when Sandaime-sama was speaking of a weapon that could destroy all of Konoha?"

I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"Gaara _is _that weapon." He said it so emotionlessly, so monotonously, that I found myself angry that he could remain calm while my own heart beat out a frantic rhythm of fright.

"_What!?_" I hissed, unable to mask the terror lacing my voice.

I'm teamed up with a monster capable of killing me and everything I love!?

The thought sobored me, and I clasped my shaking hands together to keep from hiding my face in their warmth. This was too overwhelming. This was too much to comprehend in one moment. This was too -

"Sakura?" My sensei's voice broke through my thoughts once again, and I nearly cried out in relief. I couldn't let my sanity be pulled down into such spiraling darkness. I _would not_ let that happen!

"I… - I don't' understand…" And it was the truth. As I lifted my gaze to meet the steely gray eyes of my teacher, I saw the glint of promised clarity shining in their depths.

I may not have understood, but I would soon.

"Listen, and I'll explain everything."

Kakashi-sensei didn't lie, save for his horrible excuses for being late, and I trusted him with my life. Gulping, I gave a single nod and waited for the terror of understanding to descend upon me.

Tipping his head towards me, the Jounin blinked a few times before taking a deep breath and starting.

"We've heard rumors of this Sabaku no Gaara before, but have never quite connected him with the 'annoying nuisance' until just recently. They say he's bloodthirsty. They say he's untouchable."

I wondered why Konoha had opted to send me, a genin, into such a close-range mission when someone of higher level would have been able to kill him. If he was as tough as Kakashi-sensei described, then there was no way I would be able to accomplish the impossible: attack him when such a feat was deemed unachievable.

I opened my mouth to voice such a comment when the Copy Ninja beat me to it, seemingly having read my mind.

"Untouchable, not in the sense that he is an incredible fighter - though that, too, is probably true - , but in the sense that no one is able to _touch _him. We have heard that he cannot come into contact with another human being, that contact from one person to him is utterly impossible. This would explain his reputation as never having been injured in a fight. He can't be touched…_literally_."

Such knowledge sent my mind into a whirl, for I had experienced first-hand just what his touch felt like. These rumors had to be impossible! _I _had touched him; _I _had come into contact with his being. Since I wasn't anything special, surely someone else would have access to such a vulnerability?

Reading my thoughts once again - _Alright, that Sharingan eye is really starting to creep me out… _- Kakashi gave an explanation to my silent question.

"These are just rumors, and though they may not be true, we aren't taking any chances. We only have one shot at this, and when Konoha's safety is on the line, the utmost care is used when carrying out a mission with such complications.

"Sakura," This time, his voice had dropped a note, and I knew my teacher was no longer joking around. This was dead serious, and he treated it as such. "Last night, this Gaara of the sand touched _you_. Morever, he exhibited a _need _for such contact. If you are the only person he will allow into such close range, then you are Konoha's greatest weapon of defense against this threat."

I was a weapon, and though such a thought should have brought pride to my very being, I only felt a sickening tightening in my gut, and could imagine some kind of disgusting slime settling in the center of my stomach.

I wanted to retch, but weapons don't show emotion.

Ninja don't show emotion.

And as I looked up into Kakashi's single gray eye, I understood that on this mission - at this point in my life - he expected me to be a ninja.

The rest of the mission - my own private objective apart from the other genin - was whispered briefly in my ear, and as the weight of a vial filled with poison was pressed into my hand, I felt as if I had already injected such sickening liquid into my very soul.

* * *

**_- Gaara -_**

_She's late_, I thought, growling inwardly at the disappearance of the pink-haired kunoichi. I stared disinterestedly at the game of Go Temari had initiated between the Nara kid. She had already occupied two-thirds of the board with her black pieces, making my sister look quite smug, when the Konoha shinobi made a series of several jumps that claimed over half of her pieces as his own.

"Why you little…" She growled in mock anger, and preceded to take back half of her stolen pieces with a single move, making both the Sand and Leaf shinobi even.

I turned my attention towards Kankuro who, in his infinite ignorance, had decided to strike up conversation with the frightened white-eyed girl shortly after suffering about ten minutes of silence.

Really, was there no more patience left in the world?

I listened half-heartedly as they discussed the different Kekkei Genkai abilities found within the walls of Konoha.

"Byakugan, huh?" My brother was saying, leaning in closer to stare at those milky-white orbs. "Makes your eyes look weird."

The girl - Hinata, was it? - blushed and turned her head away. "I…I - um -…I…"

Kankuro pushed back into his seat and crossed his arms behind his head. "It's pretty interesting how you fight, though. I've heard of the Juuken. Subtle, but deadly."

"Y-yes. The Gentle Fist style is the Hyuuga's main choice of offense…" Though her stutter had decreased greatly, the girl still spoke in barely above a whisper, making my brother strain to hear her.

Bored with their conversation, I turned my head to the side to gaze outside the window. With each civillian that passed, I found myself growing more and more disgusted with the Hidden Leaf Village. They were weak - horribly so -, and could only be counted strong because of the select few shinobi strong enough to uphold their powerful status.

If Suna had Konoha's numbers, then the Land of Wind would be the strongest of all the nations. The Hidden Village of Sand had some of the strongest shinobi in the world; we just didn't have the manpower to enforce that strength.

Agitated at how my thoughts had taken a turn for the political - It was a waste to think along such lines as a Kazekage might have pondered -, I took to studying my surroundings with a growing unease.

The Nara boy had taken our small group out to a restaurant not too far from the Hokage's tower ('_My team comes here all the time after training. They have good food, but Chouji usually eats it all before we have a chance to really taste much._'), and had seated us at a table near the back of the room. Kankuro sat across fom the Hyuuga girl, and Temari and the Nara boy had opted to sit side-by-side as the table was too wide for them to play a game of _Go _across it. That left me in the middle, with Kankuro on my left, Temari in front of me, and an empty seat to my right.

I had turned my gaze back to the wall, and the bright green color was just starting to bug my eyes, when I saw a flash of pink in my peripheal vision and twisted my head to stare up at the kunoichi whose appearance I had both dreaded and longed for.

She paused in her tracks, noticing that the only empty seat was beside me, and I could see the longing to run away plastered on her face when a voice stopped her.

"Sa-Sakura-chan! You made it…" The Hyuuga's shaky voice was barely heard over the din of the restaurant, but it was heard nonetheless, and now the kunoichi had no way to escape, short of blowing off her friend.

The mix of annoyance and pain in her eyes was amusing.

Resigned now, Sakura - it was so strange just to think of her name… - took her seat beside me, and the heat radiating off her body drove me mad.

Resisting the urge force the girl into my arms and crush her body against mine, I settled for clenching my fist under the table and ignoring everyone around me completely.

My siblings went silent as she joined our little group, and even I found it odd how Kankuro and Temari seemed to tense when the girl neared. For the longest time an awkward silence settled between the six of us, when a calm voice broke the quiet.

"Your move," called the Nara boy, gesturing towards the game of _Go _he and my sister had been playing for the past half hour. Then, turning to the pink-haired kunoichi, "How did you find us?"

She had been staring at her napkin this whole time, and the question caused her to snap her head upwards.

"Kakashi-sensei," she stated meekly, and Shikamaru nodded in compliance.

"Jounin," he mumbled, turning back to the game board. Seeing that Temari had still not shifted her eyes from Sakura's form, he crossed his arms and sighed. "I said it's your move."

She didn't answer, only caught the Konoha shinobi's gaze in her own and tilted her head to the side.

"Troublesome," mumbled the black-haired boy, and as time stretched on, I found my self-controll slipping.

The urge to jump the girl was becoming too great, so I lifted up from my seat and reached for the gourd lying behind my chair.

"Temari, Kankuro, we're leaving." They stood to attention like the good little followers they were, and instantly began following me outside when an achingly familiar voice stopped me.

"Wait!"

And before I could comprehend what was happening, I felt the warmth of a soft hand land on my shoulder, and tilted my head to see the pink-haired girl reaching out to me.

"Wait," she whispered softly, letting her gaze fall to the ground while taking her hand away from my shoulder.

I caught her wrist before it could completely fall away, and turned around until we were facing one another. Admittedly, I held her arm for longer than was necessary, but I was too distracted by my accomplishment of actually letting her go to be disappointed.

Glancing at my siblings, I nodded once and they took their previous seats, conversing with the others as if nothing had just happened. They were used to my little bouts of insanity, and though the Konoha shinobi seemed nervous, they relaxed under the careful watch of my teammates.

I watched discreetly as the pink-haired kunoichi took her rightful place beside me, and couldn't help but notice the way her shoulders seemed to slump with some invisible weight.

_She's so weak,_ I thought with disgust._ How Shukaku possibly allow her, of all people to touch me?_

As if speaking his name conjured him up, the very demon I had thought of slipped through the threads of my subconscious to chuckle menacingly at my mental struggle.

**Having fun, are we?** He mocked, and the hands which had lain perfectly still in my lap clenched in anger.** Hmmm, the girl smells quite lovely today, no?**

_Shut up._ Even when speaking to myself inside my own mind, I felt the need to mask my true emotions with a monotonous voice.

And what of that warmth? Do you remember last night? Ah, just to crawl up her skin had been so deliciously satisfying…

_Shut. Up._ The anger was apparent in my voice as I growled these words inside my head.

You know you like it. I've forbidden such closeness with another human being for such a long time, it sometimes feels nice to break the rules. Now, if only you would find the guts to get even closer…

Shut up, damn it!

I didn't realize I had been burning a hole in the wall with the intensity of my glare, but Temari's words alerted me to such a fact.

"Gaara…?"

I snapped my eyes back to my sibling, and realized that a lot of time must have passed as everyone had already ordered and eaten there food. My siblings knew I didn't eat much, so they probably didn't bother to ask me what I would like, but I was still surprised to find I had zoned out for so long.

The Konoha genin, along with Kankuro and Temari, were just rising from their seats and must have noticed I had neglected to do the same.

Nodding curtly, I scooted my chair back, grabbed my sand gourd, and followed the Nara boy out the door.

"Alright," he said, crossing his arms behind his head in a gesture of laziness. "Where to next?"

Next? Wait, what was this idiot talking about? We had eaten lunch together. Wasn't that good enough?

"W-we could…um…we could go to the…um…park for a f-few hours…" The white-eyed girl's shaky voice carried lightly over my ears, and I glanced up to find the Shikamaru kid nodding.

"Sounds good. Any objections?"

I, personally, despised the idea. Right now, my goal was to get as far away from the pink-haired kunoichi as possible. I needed to think, to clear my mind, and maybe even sort out these confusing emotions with my inner demon, seeing as he was the one to start this whole mess by letting me be touched.

Instead of speaking up, though, I just crossed my arms and gazed off at the distance. True, a part of me wanted to just get _away_, but a much bigger part was aching for one more chance to feel that electrifying contact between myself and the girl.

Of course, as we began walking in the direction of the park, I realized too late that such a thing would be impossible with four other shinobi surrounding us and watching my every move.

And I would have to spend this entire day longing for the touch of someone not ten feet away, yet unable to incite such glorious contact.

_Damn this day,_ I inwardly growled, and had to force back a moan as our group set off.

* * *

_Sorry for any mistakes. I was way too lazy to proofread..._

_Once again, check out the amazing Gaasaku fic called "Shukaku Love" by paws-bells._

_And **review**, please!_


	21. Of Sakura Petals

_I'm sorry this chapter took longer to get out. You wouldn't believe how busy I've been. But, hey, I kept it within the 7 day range I promised! So, here's chapter 20!_

_- Kodu_

**JUST A QUESTION: **What the heck is Gaara's eye color!? I did some research before writing this fanfic, and guessed on his eye color in probably the most inconvenient of ways. I took a screenshot I found and compared it to a list of colors. The closest it came to was either Light Blue of Perywinkle. But lately, every fiction I've been reading says his eyes are jade! I've researched it online (Google is amazing...), and have yet to find a legitimate website that states his official eye color. This is driving me crazy, and if anyone knows the answer for sure, _please_ tell me!

_Review, please! I always love hearing from all of you!_

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**20**

**- Gaara -**

I was resigned to the fact that there must have been a God in existence, and that He thoroughly enjoyed watching me suffer. I liked to imagine Him sitting on a dark, plush chair, leaning back with a grin of His face as the events of my life unfolded; because if my misfortunes were to be the source of someone's amusement, they better be _damned _well comfortable.

I couldn't stop the incessant hissing of my demon as the pink-haired kunoichi walked carefully by my side.

**'Do you smell her?'** He would growl in a feral tone, and though _I _was naïve to the sexual aspect of human relationships, Shukaku, apparently, had had plenty of experience in that department. The images he sent to my mind were, in turns, both disgusting and intriguing.

Though, with each picture presented before my face, I found it increasingly difficult to stand in the presence of the kunoichi, and wanted with all my might to just jump the girl and force her back into my arms.

I wanted the electricity that such contact sent jolting through my body.

I wanted the life that such electricity stoked into existence.

I wanted _her_.

_Damn it, Shukaku, stop! I_ couldn't stand it anymore. I was fighting my own sanity, ignoring my own instincts, all for the sake of a village that hated me as much as I hated them. My loyalties lay with myself, and everything else around me was just a target for the Tanuki's bloodlust. I didn't understand why I felt the need to control myself.

**'Awwww, am I hitting a sore spot for my little vessel?'** My teeth grit in anger, and I was only too glad that the other genin around me didn't notice my slight shift in mood.

_Shut up. That kunoichi's touch means nothing to me._ And as soon as I thought of it, an image of my own flashed before my eyes, and I could practically feel the warmth of her back pressed against my chest, her body molded into mine as Shukaku and the sand surrounded us in a comforting cocoon.

In seconds, I regretted that little slip up, as the sound of barely restrained laughter echoed inside my mind.

'So she does affect you! Hm, how interesting…'

Now _that _didn't sound good. When Shukaku said 'interesting,' he _meant_, 'something I can toy with until I kill it.'

_What are you planning…?_ I didn't like where this was going.

**'Nothing to worry your little heart over, pup.'** I hated it when he called me that, as if I were his _child_. Though, I suppose it would be fitting to be the offspring of such a beast - the spawn of Satan -, since I was already a monster myself.

My mind was occupied with such thoughts as our group passed through the rusty iron gate leading into the park, and I still held a fleeting hope that perhaps I could find a way to escape the kunoichi's presence before I did something stupid, when the sight before my eyes shocked me into a numb stupor.

_You have got to be kidding me,_ I thought, and nearly winced at the misfortune that had befallen me.

I stood between my brother and sister, feet planted firmly on the cobblestone path, and was utterly engulfed by the soft pink petals of the Sakura trees which seemed to be the main feature in this tiny strip of land.

As if sensing my unease, my siblings paused beside me and took the time to study our surroundings.

"How…quaint," Temari breathed softly, and I knew by 'quaint' she meant 'breathtaking.' My sister was never one to show words of encouragement, though, especially when concerning another Shinobi's hidden village.

We walked on after a moment, the Hyuuga girl and Nara boy leading the way, followed closely by the kunoichi and, in the rear, I and my siblings stalked lazily after them. The entire time, I focused my attention on the ground before me; on the snow-like covering of petals swirling around my feet; on the softly swaying limbs of each delicate tree; on the feel of the wind against my face and the sweet scent it seemed to carry; on _anything _but the pink-haired shinobi just in front of me.

I did _not _pay attention to the flexing push and pull motion of her legs; to the gentle, graceful sway of her hips; to the mesmerizing way her hair swished left and right with each step she took; to the unmistakable tremble of her shoulders…

…And I certainly, assuredly, did not even begin to think of the strange feeling her appearance and obvious fear stoked into the very core of my being.

"Sakura, was it?" The voice of my sister startled me out of my thoughts, and I turned distrusting eyes to the blonde-headed woman. What was she up to?

The pink-haired kunoichi tilted her head to the side, then glanced back, pointedly avoiding my gaze as she let her own eyes fall on my sibling.

"Yes?" The questioning tone of her voice was apparent in her words, and I found myself just as curious as the girl. What was my sister planning?

I glanced back towards the woman in question just in time to see her nod discreetly towards Kankuro before giving the kunoichi her full attention.

"Can you come here for a moment?" The girl paused, deciding on whether or not this was a trap of some sort, and I noticed the looks the Hyuuga girl and Nara boy were silently giving us.

Ah, I understood now. My teammates were playing on the others' suspicious emotions to determine whether or not they suspected something from us. Well, it seems they had failed the test, and had made it painfully obvious that they knew something was up. Any other time, this scrap of information would be useless, but on this mission - where secrecy and trust played important roles in the outcome - any insight as to the Konoha shinobi's thoughts was welcome.

A few moments later, though, my sister surprised me by continuing with her little plan.

As the pink-haired genin nervously fell back amongst my group - the slight shake of her shoulders alerted I and my siblings to her apprehension -, Temari nodded her head towards a small outcropping of trees and set off in that direction, motioning for the girl to follow.

Instictively, I almost trailed after them, but the words of my brother stopped me.

"It's like feeling the wind against your face, only more solid, and warmer; and it lets you know that someone is standing by your side. Sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it makes you bleed, but when it's shared with the right person, you can feel…safe."

What the heck was this idiot rambling about?

The two remaining Konoha genin were a far enough distance ahead that they couldn't hear my brother's whispered words, and a part of me was undeniably grateful that they would never learn of the Suna Shinobi's madness.

The question in my mind was mirrored in my eyes.

As if sensing my confusion - and annoyance -, Kankuro explained himself.

"Last night you asked what touch was. Now that I've had time to think about it…well, I just hope that's a better answer."

It _was _a better answer, and as I pondered over his words, I was surprised to find that these feelings of touch were identical to what I had felt with the Haruno girl. The warmth was what had pulled me in at first, followed by the tingling sensation so closely mirrored by the feeling I got while murdering others.

I almost thanked my sibling for giving me such an accurate definition, but resisted the urge. After all, years of dislike and contempt could not be erased overnight, with just a few simple words exchanged between us. Family still meant little to me, though I was grateful for their usefulness from time to time.

We spent the rest of that day in the park; I remaining as stoic and silent as possible while my brother made useless small talk with the Konoha genin. He played a few games of shogi with the Shikamaru boy and talked about the advantages of long-range attacks with the Hyuuga girl, vainly trying to grow closer to our enemies.

_Well,_ I thought, letting my eyes follow a single Sakura petal dancing in the wind. _At least someone is trying to weasel information from these clueless shinobi._

When the bright Konoha sky gave way to a soft, pink-tinged sunset, I began to wonder what my sister was doing with the other kunoichi, when the very woman I was thinking of appeared beside my shoulder.

I glanced over towards the direction Temari had come from, and was surprised to find the pink-haired kunoichi's gaze focused on my group. When her eyes fell on me, I saw a distinctly stubborn fire blazing in their depths, and couldn't help but feel pleased that she matched my own gaze with unwavering eyes.

Tomorrow, I decided, would definitely be _interesting_.

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- Sakura -

'He's staring at you.'

Inner Sakura, for some unnamable reason, felt the urge to taunt my apparent apprehension.

_I know,_ I growled inwardly, though that was only a show of strength put on to intimidate my inner voice when, in reality, I felt like retching.

And then I realized: Why the heck was I trying to intimidate _myself _!?

'Why don't you just turn around and give him a piece of our mind!?'

That cold gaze seemed to burn a hole in my head - an oxymoron of sorts; a bit of irony to anger me further - and I nearly went through with my inner self's silent goading when I realized I couldn't just vent my emotions in front of everyone there.

_Great,_ I thought, rolling my eyes._ The one time I want to be alone with him, we're surrounded._

Our group walked on for a little ways, but no matter how much I tried to enjoy the scenery, the red-head's constant glare made such a thing impossible.

Why did he have to crave my touch? Why couldn't he go obsess over someone else? It made me angry to think of what I would have to do just to protect Konoha from this monster, and the more I thought of Kakashi-sensei's whispered words, the more furious I became.

"We need information first and foremost. It wouldn't be too good to attack an allied nation out of paranoia if that nation isn't doing anything wrong," he said, and though I wanted to childishly cover my ears and scream, "I can't hear you!" against his words, I knew that now was the time for me to act like a real Konoha Shinobi.

Thinking back on it, though, I secretly wished I had gone with my instincts and taken the childish route.

The cold glass of a vial filled with poison was pressed into my hand, and I found my gaze riveted to the clear liquid. It looked like harmless water, and had about the same texture as well, though I knew what I held was much more deadly.

Water gave life. This disgusting substance took it away.

I could feel it even now, pressing against my side, tucked safely beneath an array of kunai and shuriken in the weapons pack I carried with me.

"This is just a safety measure, Sakura." His words were so sincere, and somehow I knew that my teacher was silently asking me to be as level-headed as possible. I was a genin, and this mission was better suited for a Jounin, or even a spy division of ANBU. By being in the mere presence of the red-head, I was risking my life and the lives of all of Konoha's inhabitants, and so far I had come to understand that Kakashi-sensei trusted me to do a good job and come out of this mission alive.

It was a humbling thought, and so I opened up to everything my teacher had to say.

Even now I felt the weight of responsibility pressing down on my shoulders, and though the burden was heavy, I was determined to carry it with all the pride of my village.

Assured by this mindset, I walked on when the voice of a stranger snapped me out of my reveries.

"Sakura, was it?" I was a little startled at first, though quickly recovered and glanced behind me, ignoring the red-head's piercing gaze.

"Yes?"

"Can you come here for a moment?"

I stopped, a little shocked by the other's request, and felt the glances of Shikamaru and Hinata land on me and the others. Falling back until I was walking side by side with the Sand shinobi, I found that I couldn't stop the tremble of my shoulders from standing so close to the Gaara boy and his teamates.

They were a fierce group, in both appearance and demeanor, though the girl who had addressed me looked a little less harsh than the male ninjas. They still frightened me, though - Gaara, for his attitude and creepy black-rimmed eyes; the one called Kankuro, for his harsh treatement of others and physical and verbal abuse of those he disliked.

I kept my attention focused on the blonde shinobi, and watched as she tipped her head towards a small grouping of trees and stalked off in that direction, waving for me to follow.

Curiousity overran my apprehension, and I found my feet following the girl before my mind could register what I was doing.

"Have you touched Gaara?" Sand Shinobi, apparently, knew little of subtlety, as the blonde woman - Temari, was it? - went straight to the point.

I couldn't help the blush that rose on my face, and refused to think of just how _wrong _her words sounded. Couldn't she have phrased that question a little better?

The blank look on her face made it clear that I would be getting no sympathy from the harsh blonde, so in an act of calming my jumbled thoughts, I took a deep breath and leaned against one of the many trees surrounding us.

"Why do you ask?" I figured I'd take the vague route when dealing with this individual.

The way she leveled her gaze with mine told me my choice was decidedly stupid.

"Have you touched Gaara?" Her voice was even, yet held an unmistakable note of danger to it that I could not deny.

"…Why does it matter?" I was beginning to get a little nervous, but I wouldn't show _her_ that.

Taking a step closer to me, the Sand Shinobi slit her eyes and repeated her question again with a poisonous hiss.

Unable to ignore the apparent threat before me - yet equally unable to back down -, I leaned all my weight on one leg and crossed my arms, only later realizing that this was a stance Kakashi-sensei took often.

"Yes. Does it matter?" I couldn't help but throw in a question of my own.

She seemed surprised by my compliance, and merely tipped her head towards me, regarding my form out of the corner of her eye.

There was a painfully long time of awkward silence as she studied my posture and body language, and then the most unthinkable thing happened.

She smiled.

Well, it was less of a smile and more of a smirk, but it was a show of humor either way.

"And he _let _you touch him?" Migrating towards the small circle of boulders planted in the center of the outcropping, Temari - I was certain this was her name, now - seated herself on one of the cool gray rocks and motioned for me to follow.

Still apprehensive of her presence, but lightening up nonetheless, I obeyed without complaint and chose to rest on a rock across from hers.

"_Let _me? He practically _jumped _me." Looking back, I could see the humor in the situation, though the pain of having my first kiss be stolen by a stranger still pricked at my heart.

I was surprised to hear a light, airy laugh from before me, and lifted my gaze to see the blonde staring off into the distance, as if trying to imagine what I had just described.

"Why?" I continued, catching the other's eye. "Is that a problem?" It was a problem for me, because I personally felt the physical and emotional pain of another forcing me into their arms, but I didn't understand why it would bother her.

The light that had graced the woman's gaze seemed to die as her smile was abruptly torn from her face. Such a change was so sudden, and I could only imagine what was on her mind.

"Gaara can't - _doesn't _- …"

Gaara can't touch.

I was waiting for her to say it - to confirm what I already suspected -, but she caught herself just in time.

"He doesn't like touching other people."

Our eyes met, and I knew her words were a lie, and that _she _knew that _I _knew.

_He likes touching me, I_ thought, then shuddered at the memories such a thing evoked. I could practically feel him against me now - so warm, so soft, yet rugged like the substance he controlled. I could almost smell that horrible, gut-wrenching stench coming from his sand.

And - probably most frightening of all -, if I closed my eyes and thought back on those memories with an open mind, I could _enjoy _what I had experienced, and I could _long for _such a thing again.

Snapping out of that train of thought quickly, I realized I had spent a good deal of time zoning out and suddenly felt embarrassed with how much the red-head occupied my thoughts.

"Temari, was it?" It was her turn to snap to attention, and with a quick nod she answered my question.

Sighing softly, I turned my gaze to the Sakura petals falling around me in the breeze, and let the image lull me into a state of calm serenity.

"You're his teammate. Does that Gaara kid always act so…weird?" 'Creepy,' 'psychotic,' or 'freakish' might have been better words to use, but I toned down my thoughts for courtesy's sake.

And there was that laugh again; a light, almost lilting sound which seemed to mock humanity and the very essence of sanity.

"You have no idea," the blonde stated wryly, and I couldn't help but smile myself.

In an instant she had sobered, and stared down at her hands sadly. "You don't know him that well. No one does, really…"

Then, locking her gaze with my own, I could see the calculating look flash across her eyes, as if she was determining a strategic battle plan for a mission, though this conversation could hardly count as such.

"He's probably worse than you think." Her words didn't really make sense to me, but I let her talk all the same. "But definitely not as bad as everyone tries to make him out to be…"

She was rambling now and, catching herself in the act, cut off immediately.

Another long stretch of silence lay before us, until the woman finally broke the quiet.

"Look, I asked you over here for a reason."

This Temari woman had always seemed a strict character, but I had not yet seen her act so serious. Taking this change in mood to heart, I gave her my full attention.

"Gaara… He's not…well, he's not the most stable of people out there."

_Trust me,_ I thought, inwardly rolling my eyes. _I know._

"You'll be stuck with him for a while, and I don't want you getting hurt. He's got a temper, and…well…" Here she trailed off again, and I silently goaded her on with the look in my eyes.

"Simply put, just listen to what he says and don't talk too much, and you should survive."

It sounded as if she believed I were being thrown into a cage with a wild animal, and for all I knew, it was the truth. But, though I was physically weak compared to most of Konoha's Shinobi, I wouldn't walk away from this matter without a fight.

"I'll say what I want to, and he'll just have to deal with it."

Inner Sakura was rejoicing at my little show of defiance, and Temari seemed shocked I would even suggest such a thing.

"I don't think you understand…" she began, but I cut her off.

"No, I understand just fine. Your little red-headed terror sounds like a spoiled brat, and I'm not the kind of person who will humor someone like that."

I half expected the woman to glare at me angrily for my comment, or at least to jump up and stalk away. I did _not _expect her to break out into a fit of rambunctious laughter and grab her stomach as if the contents of her belly were going to fall out.

"I've never…" she started, but her words broke off as she took a gasping breath of air. "…I've never heard _anyone _talk about Gaara like that before!"

Then, staring at the sky, she said in a musing tone, "Maybe this is a good thing?"

I didn't ask her what she meant by that comment because, quite frankly, I didn't want to know.

"I like you," she stated bluntly, then nodded her head as if to confirm it with herself.

Rising to her feet, Temari gave me that smirky smile again before tossing her head in the direction of the cobblestone path.

"We better catch up before they leave us behind."

As we stepped from our sheltering haven of Sakura trees, I noticed that the sky was dimming, and that I had spent a good deal of time talking with one of Sand's Shinobi. The oddest part, though, was that I had enjoyed it.

"Sakura-chan!" Hinata's timid voice carried towards my ears, and I flashed the girl a smile before turning to nod at Shikamaru. My gaze fell on Temari, who strode towards her teammates with a confident gate, and I noticed that both Kankuro and Gaara's eyes were on me. I met both gazes evenly, absurdly confident for the first time in a long time.

Temari flashed me that smirk again, and I couldn't help but genuinely smile back. The Kankuro boy seem confused by this at first, and shot his teammate a questioning glance; and as my attention shifted to the red-head, I found the strength to hold his gaze with unwavering eyes.

Tomorrow would turn my world upside down; and I had never felt more ready for anything in my entire life.

* * *

_I found it important that Sakura foster a healthy friendship with Gaara's siblings. Thus, this chapter was born. Also, you got to see a little bit of family development between Gaara and Kankuro. I'm really trying to grow Gaara in all aspects of love - that is, family, friendship, and romance. Friendship hasn't been touched on yet, though the desire part of romance has been mentioned, and this chapter and I believe another have been dedicated to Gaara's family relationship._

_Well, next chapter is the start of the mission - finally! -, and hopefully the setting up for some wonderful Gaasaku goodness to come._

_Review, please, and tell me what you think!_

_- Kodu_


	22. Of Protection and Hate

_Another long chapter for your reading pleasure, no? Here's the beginning of the first day of the mission!_

_- Kodu_

**NOTE:** On a side note, here's a funny fact about "Midnight Tears" : The entire story is saved as a Word document on my computer... and that document has been elegantly titled "thing 2". Wonderful...

_Review please!_

**OTHER NOTE:** I just downloaded Photoshop onto my computer, and now I'm really excited about making some fanart for this fiction! I've drawn a picture or two of Gaara, but I've yet to attempt Sakura (I'm bad at drawing girls for some reason...). Problem is, I don't have a scanner, so I've had to suffer with trying to do some free-hand stuff on the computer which was horrible, so I scrapped it. Darn my drawing skills... Anyways, if you want to check out some stuff I've already posted up, I have a Deviant Art account under the same name: "Kodukadvakch."

And to any artists who skills greatly surpass mine (That's pretty much the population of... oh, say, Earth...), feel free to draw something for MT if so inspired. ;-)

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**21**

**- Sakura -**

I was early, I knew, but that little fact didn't bother me. No, time meant nothing when faced with my own warring thoughts, and was easily thrust into the shadow of such listlessness. A weight far more crushing than any fatal wound had settled itself inside my stomach, and the pain in my chest made me believe that someone was holding my heart in an iron grip.

But, no, that's wasn't a good analogy. It felt more like someone had tied my village's head protector in a knot around my heart, and that the Leaf Village symbol scraped painfully against my innards. I wasn't bound by duty; I was _choked _by it. Though Kakashi-sensei had told me repeatedly that I didn't have to accept this mission, I knew that I really _did_.

It was like telling someone they were Earth's last hope for survival, then saying, "But, you know, you don't have to do it if you don't want to."

Guilt was a horrible way to die, and even if I did survive the constant nagging of my conscious, I figured it would be best to die honorably on an important mission than by the hands of an angry village. Betrayel, after all, was even worse than guilt; and if I backed out now, I would practically be labeling myself a missing-nin.

So, in this state of mind, I paced back and forth in front of Konoha's main entrance gate, my little pack of essentials strapped to my back, hands clasped together to keep me from wringing them in anxiety.

Yesterday I had felt so fired up and ready for this mission. I had felt strong, and brave, and had wanted to serve my country with all my heart.

But a good night's sleep and a few hours to think things through, and common sense had come flooding back.

They say ignorance is bliss, and I agree wholeheartedly.

Today, I had woken up to a cold, empty house and had realized just how alone I truly was. It was a despairing thought, to realize that I was being sent away on a mission I might not return from, and that not even my parents were there to say goodbye.

Shaking off this hopeless feeling, I whipped around to continue walking when I smacked into a wall and stumbled backwards, flailing my arms to try and regain my balance.

Surprised that the gates of Konoha would have the audacity to get in my way - and a little frightened they could move of their own volition -, I shot a glare in the direction I had fallen from and nearly gasped as my eyes locked onto the gaze of a man I hadn't seen in what felt like months.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Well, I never said it had _actually _been that long since I'd seen him, but any amount of time away from my teammate was too long. I had been forced to suffer all of yesterday without his presence, and instead had been thrust into the company of that creepy red-head. After all the traumatizing events I had experienced, I just wanted to sit back and bask in the perfection that was Uchiha.

"Hn," he replied offhandedly, giving me a look that said he expected me to stand up. I did so on my own - Sasuke wasn't one to offer his hand to just _anyone _-, and lightly dusted myself off, looking at my crush with wide eyes.

"Kakashi-sensei told us you were taking up guard duty." His voice washed through me like water, and I felt myself drinking it up as one deprived of such life-sustaining liquid.

"Yeah!" I said brightly, ecstatic that the one person I looked up to more than anyone else was actually talking to me. "It's a little complicated, but he's pulling me out of Team 7 for a little while to do this mission. I guess you and Naruto are taking the Chuunin Exams? Are you guys training for that today? I won't be seeing you as much, so when I'm in town maybe you and I could -"

"You talk too much," he cut in coldly, and though the tone of his voice sent chills down my spine, I tried to convince myself that these were chills of excitement. I wasn't afraid of Sasuke, because I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I _loved _him, and love had nothing to do with fear, no matter how cold he made me feel.

Besides, if that Gaara kid could be warm, then Sasuke-kun could be warm, too…

…Right?

Something flashed across the Uchiha's eyes as he watched me, and he shifted imperceptibly on his feet.

It took him a while, but he finally spoke.

"I have a favor to ask of you."

I nearly blanched, but fought the urge to drop my jaw.

'Hold up!' yelled Inner Sakura, and in my stunned state of being, I allowed her to rant for a few moments. 'Sasuke-kun is asking us to help him with something? This can't be real! This has _got _to be a dream!'

The biting wind that blew through my hair and swirled the early morning fog around my feet proved otherwise.

Dumbstruck, all I could do was nod and plead with my eyes for him to continue.

"I heard you were in the same team as Sabaku no Gaara."

It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyways.

Eyes as black as space locked onto my wavering orbs, and in a motion too quick for me to see, Sasuke leaned closer to me until our noses were inches apart.

Later, I would recall just how intimate such a gesture looked from a distance. It seemed as though he was about to steal my second kiss - though God knew I wouldn't have minded at all! -, but up close one could see a harsh fire burning in the depths of his gaze.

"Watch him for me."

In an instant, I realized it was the flames of competitiveness lighting his otherwise cold eyes, but I couldn't have cared less. If competition was reason enough for Sasuke-kun to pay attention to me, then by all means, bring on the competitors!

Suddenly, before I could protest, the Uchiha had straightened back up and took a couple well-paced steps backwards. Tilting my head to the side, I was about to ask what was the matter when Sasuke spoke first.

"You're early."

A soft _woosh _sounded behind me, and suddenly I felt the presence of another standing to my right.

"I had nothing better to do."

The voice which had recently taken to haunting my nightmares whispered in its calm, monotonous way, and I couldn't surpress the shiver which raced down my spine. Unfortunately, though, my fear was far from cold.

"Gaara-san," I gasped out, trying to mask my fear with a simple greeting.

As if surprised anyone would acknowledge his presence, the red-head tilted his head to the side and nodded stiffly. His cold blue gaze shifted back to Sasuke, and for the briefest of moments I feared the sand-controller might have heard our conversation.

"Your request of the kunoichi isn't very fair," he hissed venomously, the danger in his tone going unchecked. "I'm hardly entertaining."

Crap, he had heard.

Wincing, I took a step backwards and ran into another, more curvy 'wall.'

A soft hand landed on my shoulder, and I glanced behind me to see Temari's gaze fixed silently on her teammate.

"Gaara," she said softly, though didn't finish her words, as if the silent meaning which followed was understood.

The Sand Shinobi, apparently, could understand each other through body language and tone alone, as the source of my nightmares turned slightly until he was half facing Sasuke and half facing myself.

Glancing between I and Sasuke, the red-head's gaze fell on the Uchiha, and I could see a look of powerful contempt shining in his piercing blue eyes.

"Stay away from her," he growled, and before I had time to protest, Sasuke spoke up.

"Sakura isn't a traitor," and the look my teammate gave me chilled me to the bone. "Or I would kill her myself." Without another word, he turned away and stalked down the street he had come from.

Temari's grip on my shoulder tightened, and I felt an oddly unexplainable wave of protectiveness radiating from the blonde shinobi behind me. The strangest thing, though, was that I felt the same powerful emotion coming from the red-head as he turned his back from where the Uchiha had been and stalked silently towards the two of us.

With a sharp nod from her teammate, Temari lifted her hand from my shoulder, and Gaara stepped up closer to me. A little intimidated by his presence, I had the fleeting urge to turn tail and run before a steely resolve took up residence in my backbone.

"Good morning, Gaara-san," I said with practiced ease, forcing all tension out of my voice. Then, glancing at the woman who now stood to my left, I tilted my head in acknowledgement. "Temari-san."

The red-head seemed surprised by my politeness, while the other kunoichi was merely amused.

A few moments passed when I saw a shadow slink up behind the blonde shinobi, quickly followed by the form of their third teammate.

Being surrounded by my enemies - after all, Konoha felt threatened enough to spy on these newcomers - made my confidence shrink three sizes smaller than I would have liked, and I found myself lost for words.

When I failed to respond, the black-clad ninja tipped his head to the side and crossed his arms.

"Hey, what about a nice 'Kankuro-san,' huh?" I was shocked for a moment, and could only stare at the intimidating shinobi before me.

_Did he just…joke with me?_ I thought incredulously. A part of me still wanted to think of the Sand Shinobi as soulless weapons, but for every moment I spent with them, their status as real people rose in my eyes.

Temari snorted beside me, and moved to swat her teammate on the side of the arm.

"Kankuro, you idiot. You probably scare her with your weird cat-ear hat."

The one called Kankuro turned a livid shade of red and stepped forward, hands fisted angrily. "For the hundredth time, Temari. _They're not cat ears!_"

Ignoring his words, the blonde continued. "And what about that junk on your face? You know, only women are supposed to wear makeup."

"Face paint!" he shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at his teammate. "Not _makeup_. Warriors' _face paint!_"Apparently, he resorted to monosyllabic phrases when angry enough, and the look Temari gave me showed she had noticed this as well.

I and the other kunoichi glanced at each other, then broke out laughing. I didn't really get the joke - it must have been a Sand Team thing -, but I could appreciate Kankuro's reaction to the woman's teasing.

"Well, it's good to know you're getting along well," called the lazy voice of my sensei, and I straightened up immediately upon hearing him. I turned in my tracks to see the silver-haired Jounin walking up the road, followed closely by Shikamaru and Hinata.

"Kakashi-sensei," I gasped out, nearly falling over in my surprise. "You're on time!"

'Why can't he show up on time with _our _team,' growled Inner Sakura angrily, but I quickly shoved her to the back of my mind.

My teacher just shrugged as he came to a halt beside me. He glanced up from the pages of the Icha Icha book he held in his hand, and tilted his head to the side.

"I'm supposed to see you guys off." The way he looked at me told me to drop the subject, and I did so without hesitation. After all, for all I knew, 'See you guys off' could have meant, 'Make sure you guys hadn't been killed yet.'

"Alright," the lazy Copy-nin began, falling into a state of mind that was purely Jounin. "Get into your groups, and I'll assign your search sectors."

Shikamaru gave a frustrated sigh as Temari waved for him to come to her, and I heard a mumbled, "Troublesome woman," as he passed by.

The woman in question winked in my direction, then turned to the Nara boy, putting her hands on her hips and shouting out an offhanded, "Hurry up."

I forced the laugh tickling the edges of my throat back into my belly, and instead moved to stand by Gaara, passing a nervous looking Hinata on the way. A little concerned about her state of mind, I placed a tentative hand on the girl's shoulder and smiled gently down at her.

"Hey," I said, speaking as softly as possible. "Be safe."

Nodding shakily, the girl smiled back, and I found myself surprised at how much emotion could be held in her pallid white eyes.

"Okay," she whispered softly, and I nodded once before turning around and taking my place beside the red-head.

He was looking at me strangely, but for once I didn't mind. Right now, not even _his _piercing gaze could break through my jumbled thoughts. I was completely focused on the mission - completely prepared to face the horrors of a prolonged amount of time with the boy who had stolen my first kiss - and utterly hopeless as to how I could possibly follow through with Kakashi-sensei's plans.

_"You need to question him, but subtly," the silver-haired Jounin said softly, though his voice still held an air of command to it. "Don't evoke him into violence - we still need you alive, Sakura. But don't completely avoid him, either."_

_Now that is something I'll have to work at, _I thought while standing beside the source of my recent troubles._ I've just recently accomplished standing in his presence without shaking._

But that wasn't good enough! For this mission to be successful, I had to talk frequently with the red-head. For this mission to come around without any casualties, I had to get on this weapon's good side. For this mission - and for the sake of all of Konoha -, I had to _befriend _Gaara of the Desert. 

"Okay." Kakashi-sensei's voice broke through my thoughts, and I focused completely on my teacher's words.

"Team One, Temari and Shikamaru, you have Sector A, the North end. Team Two, Kankuro and Hinata, will be taking Sector B, the East end. And Team Three, Gaara and Sakura, you guys are assigned to Sector D, the West end. Sector C, Konoha's gates, will be guarded by Izumo and Kotetsu. You'll check in with them by noon on the third day, or if you find anything funny."

He paused for a moment, glancing at the pages of his Icha Icha Paradise book before returning his attention to the task at hand.

"Any questions?"

No one stirred, and after a few moments - and a few page turns -, the Jounin tipped his head back in the direction of Konoha's gates.

"Good. If you set off in the direction of your sector, you'll find a distance marker in the center of its circumference. Try to keep within forty miles of that marker on all sides, and you should stay within the range of your sector."

Another pause, another page turn, and he glanced back up at us, tipping his head to the side as if he was surprised we were still there.

"Oh, feel free to set out now if you want."

Sighing in exhasperation - no way he was as good a ninja as everyone said he was! -, I turned to the red-head to ask if he wanted to head out, when I saw he was already halfway to the gates.

Shaking my head, I jogged to catch up, and we both set out Westward at a fairly quick pace.

Matching my steps with that of my partner, I found the rhythm of our feet tapping against the limbs of the trees to be quite soothing, and was soon lulled into a state of peaceful calm.

Tranquility surrounded us on all sides, and I realized that maybe, in this setting, getting to know Gaara might not be as painful as I had thought.

* * *

****

- Gaara -

I hated Uchiha Sasuke.

This thought flashed through my mind as I traveled beside the pink-haired kunoichi.

I _hated _that arrogant, black-haired boy with eyes as cold as mine, because the way he had looked at the girl beside me was enough to get my inner demon riled up in rage.

**'How dare he!'** Shukaku screeched inside my skull at the mere memory of that look, and for once I was in agreement with the Tanuki's thoughts.

I hated him, because he lived to kill, and yet in killing did not live.

He was an avenger. I could see it in his stance - in the harsh way he treated his teammates. He sought revenge, he sought death, and yet he only thirsted for one man's blood. It disgusted me how someone could waste such power with the intent to kill once and only once.

How can one's existence be confirmed with such a small feat?

This idiot boy didn't even know how to appreciate the sound of a man's dying breaths, or the feel of their insides spilling out onto your hands. He knew nothing of true power, yet held such hate in his eyes. He knew nothing of true life, yet strived to prove his worth by destroying the existence of the man he hated most.

Oh, I knew of the Uchiha's. I had heard of the bloody massacre that had become of the clan, and I knew this Sasuke boy was the sole survivor, save for the murderer who had started it all. I understood his detatchment from social contact, and I understood his ability to use and abuse those who might bring him one step closer to any goal of his.

I was a goal of his.

That look in his eyes, when turned upon myself, made me want to laugh. If that sorry excuse for a ninja thought he could defeat me in battle, then he was more dense than I had imagined.

But when he looked at Sakura…

I shook in anger just thinking about it, and could feel Shukaku's rage boil up from under my skin.

This protectiveness over the kunoichi - and there was no denying it was such - had nothing to do with affection. It was purely instinctual, and purely selfish. My demon half constantly reminded me of how much he craved her blood - of how sweet it would be, and how warm it might feel beneath my fingertips. My human half craved her touch and the electricity of life it brought to my limbs, and I had just enough strength to resist Shukaku's urges.

Both sides, though, didn't want anyone else hurting her; for if she died, I would not have the pleasure of confirming my existence by killing her myself, nor would I ever feel the warmth of her embrace again.

And the way the Uchiha had looked at her was purely predatory. He was using her to get to me, and just the thought of someone using what was _mine _- Shukaku had already marked her as _my_ prey, and mine alone -, made my very being fill with rage.

I _hated _Uchiha Sasuke, and I wanted to _kill _him.

As the dense forest dwindled to a sparse scattering of trees, I and the pink-haired girl slowed our pace and descended from the canopy above to walk the path below.

Nothing was said for a while, but I was accustomed to such silence. My siblings would quarrell from time to time when we were faced with a long journey, but other than that I was not used to much conversation.

Besides, the softly chirping birds filled the void quite nicely, and the sound of running water in the distance added an extra dimension of tranquility.

"The sector marker should be up ahead," the girl said softly while pushing through a grouping of bushes. Her voice shattered any peace I had gathered from the quiet, but I found that I didn't mind too much.

I didn't reply, for such a statement didn't require an answer, and instead followed my partner into a small clearing of trees. It was maybe an acre in diameter, surrounded by a dense covering of bushes and trees on one end while opening up to the sky on the westward side. That opening held an array of craggy rocks and boulders, and the closer I looked, I found that a small path of land beyond cut off harshly into a chasm below. The river was louder here, though still unseen, and I guessed that it probably spread out wide at some point to drop off the side of the cliff in the form of a crystalline waterfall.

I glanced up to watch the kunoichi as she stepped lightly towards a bright red marker in the center of the clearing.

"I think we're here," she called back, and, once again, I failed to respond to her comment.

At my inability to speak, the girl twisted her head around to glance at me from the corner of her eye, as if she feared I had been left behind.

She looked me over for a few moments, as if deliberating her next words, then turned her back on me and spoke so softly I had to strain to hear.

"How long have you known Temari-san?"

How long have I known Temari? Well, that was a stupid question.

_Since I was born,_ I thought, but stopped myself from saying these words out loud. Why would she want to know such a thing? This girl was a spy, plain and simple. She had been assigned to watch me, analyzing my every move. I and my team had seen through their little 'partner' plan from the very beginning, though Konoha had yet to realize we knew of their tricks.

It didn't bother me much, though. Politics, hidden agendas and the like never really captured my interest. As long as I could kill, it didn't matter what the world around me thought.

But, for the sake of Suna, I knew I had to watch my tongue around the girl. I couldn't let her know too much, and, quite frankly, I had never been one to converse much in the first place. A simple "I'll kill you," usually got my point across nicely, but in this case such words would be no help at all.

Though, honestly, I had no idea how her question could in any way harm my country.

Still, I opted to ignore the girl and instead circled the perimeter of the clearing, making sure to check for weak spots in its defense before we set up camp.

After a few minutes of silence, the girl's voice broke through the quiet once again.

"Are you ignoring me?" Her tone was harsh, and I knew that for some odd reason I had insulted her in my unresponsiveness. Usually, people were thankful that I didn't acknowledge them.

This girl was strange, indeed.

Turning my icy blue eyes onto her hard jade ones, I deadpanned a simple, "Yes," before returning back to my scan of the area.

When all I heard was silence after that, I felt pleased that I had stopped any attempts of questioning on her part, and was focused completely on my task when a soft hand grabbed my shoulder and shoved me around to face a rather livid looking kunoichi.

Amused, I allowed her audacious attitude to slide, and instead reveled in the feel of her hand against my arm.

"Do _not _ignore me," she hissed angrily while grabbing my wrist with her other hand as if to emphasize her point.

Drowned in euphoria by the sensations she was giving me - it felt so much better when she touched me of her own free will -, I couldn't help but ignore the rest of her ranting and found myself focusing solely on the hand gripped around my wrist.

When that hand let go, a deep rooted desperation ignited in my stomach, and I reached out before the girl could take two steps back, and pulled her into my arms.

It felt so good to have her back pressed into my stomach, and the heat radiating from her made my head light in ecstasy.

"You talk too much," I mumbled hotly against her ear, and crushed her even closer in the circle of my embrace.

I was surprised that she didn't struggle, and instead sighed deeply, leaning back into me. This small gesture drove I and my demon crazy, and I had the sudden urge to nuzzle my face into the girl's hair. She stiffened at this action, but had yet to pull away.

"Why?" she asked in a breathy whisper, and I settled my cheek against her ear, closing my eyes at the question.

Unresponsive as ever, I ignored those words, unwilling for this glorious moment of contact to end. I was addicted, I realized, and for some odd reason this thought didn't bother me in the least.

"Why _me_?"

Could this girl not be quiet?

Growling low in my throat, I pressed my nose into the crook of her neck and rubbed my arms against her waist a few times, reveling in her warmth.

"Shut up," I mumbled, eyes half lidded in my hazy state of mind. "Don't talk."

I felt her struggle then, and was frustrated she would be stupid enough to ruin such a moment for me. My grip tightened, and she only struggled more, the scent of her fear increasing with each passing moment until she was thrashing against me like a wild animal aching for release.

"Let go of me!" the kunoichi shouted, and the dangerous hiss in her voice shocked me into loosening my grip just enough for her to slip through.

Her tone reminded me of my own cold voice, and after shaking off the initial realization that I was the subject of such contempt, I crossed my arms and turned a disdainful eye on the girl before me.

"Don't ever touch me again!" she shouted harshly, and I slit my eyes in anger.

Taking a step forward, I watched in amusement as she took a step back. Step for step we continued this - her retreating, I advancing - until we had moved dangerously close to the drop off at the edge of the clearing, and the girl was pressed helplessly against one of the larger boulders dotting the ledge.

"I'll do as I please with what is mine." The words were out before I realized I was responding, and the girl's eyes widened at what I had said.

"I am no one's property!"

"What about the Uchiha? You act like his servant."

Just remembering the look he had given her ignited a flame of fury into the depths of my being. But to see this girl defend him - one unworthy of such protection, of such _love_ - disgusted me beyond measure.

I recalled threatening the Uchiha's life to get the Haruno girl to stand up to me, and she had responded in the most predictable of ways.

Watching her now, I could see the look of hurt which crossed her features, and had to hold back a snort of contempt.

"I'm not his servant! Sasuke-kun is important to me…"

_Sasuke-kun._

The title at the end of his name - an obvious show of affection on Sakura's part - angered me more than I would have liked to admit. Before I had time to control this fury, Shukaku's bloodlust surfaced again, and I was sorely tempted to crush the girl now instead of dealing with her later.

I _hated _Uchiha Sasuke, and I wanted to _kill _him, because he had captured the heart of the only person capable of capturing mine.

The thought - a fleeting fancy which slid easily in and out of my mind - shocked me for a moment. Love? Love was a joke. Love was pain, and betrayal. I didn't want love; I didn't want _her_ love…

…But I wanted her touch.

Backing away before I did something rash, I turned around and stalked back towards the sector marker, sitting down beside the crimson-colored pole in a cross-legged position. Right now, the only way I could surpress my demon's rage was to meditate; and if I wanted to spare the kunoichi's life to touch her another day, I needed to douse the Tanuki's bloodlust.

As I cleared my thoughts, the last thing to flit through my head was more revealing than I liked to imagined.

I _hated _Uchiha Sasuke, and I wanted to _kill _him, because he had captured the heart of the only person capable of capturing mine…

…And somewhere along the road of my chosen path of existence, I had become more afraid of the possibility of love than of the possibility of death

* * *

_Hmm... There was a bit of character development for both Sakura and Gaara in this one. Sakura's slowly but surely growing closer to the Sand Shinobi, and Gaara's coming to terms with his attraction towards Sakura ('Attraction', not as in the physical sense of the word, but rather how he feels compelled to tolerate her presence.)._

_Snaps to whoever remembers Izumo and Kotetsu! They're pretty much my favorite minor characters... and I couldn't help but bring them to life in this story!_

_As for the apparent Sasuke bashing in this chapter... It was GAARA, not ME! I wanted to get across this streak of jealousy growing inside of him, and had to fully portray Gaara's views on the matter of Sasuke's life. Of course... I'm not really fond of him either, so that helped a bit in the writing process. It alwas irked me how he could completely blow off all his friends and all the people who cared for him, while Gaara was working hard to feel an inkling of the love Sasuke had thrown away... But I don't hate him! Just a bit of dislike..._

_Review, please!_

_-Kodu_


	23. Of Realizations and Budding Friendships

_So, I got this chapter out to you guys a bit early, huh? Usually I wait a couple of days before typing up a new chapter, just for a little respite from working on the previous one, but I decided to start a little earlier since I'll be busy all this weekend. This chapter was one of the few I truly enjoyed writing (I like writing all parts of my story, but there are a few things that just amuse me to no end to type up.) A lot happens in this chapter, including some fluff, some character development, and - probably most striking of all - I finally reveal why, exactly, Gaara can't touch anyone. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't planned. The idea just sort of popped up, and it went well with what I was writing at the moment, so I tossed it in their. _

_Well, enough of my ranting. Here's chapter 22!_

_- Kodu_

_I know I say this every time, but your reviews really do encourage me to keep writing! So, please keep telling me what you think; even if you feel you're just repeating yourself! Any kind of encouragement or constructive criticism is welcome!_

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* * *

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**22**

**- Sakura -**

I was wrapped up in his arms once again, and I found myself cursing my own stupidity.

What the _hell _had gotten into me!?

I could blame my current situation on my need to physically touch him in anger, or on losing my temper at his arrogance, or on being so unaccustomed to long silences that I felt the need to hold a conversation with a man capable of killing me and my entire village if I annoyed him…

Either way, I had been an idiot, and I regretted ever having opened my big, fat, _idiotic _mouth.

"You talk too much," the red-head mumbled hotly against my ear, pulling me even closer to his infinitely warm body.

The words echoed inside my mind, and suddenly I heard Sasuke's voice ringing back in all its velvety glory. The Uchiha had said the exact same thing to me earlier this morning, and I couldn't help but shudder at the apparent difference between my idol and the boy holding me now.

Sasuke had been cold - so unbearably cold! -, while the person behind me was undeniably warm.

Trapped in this hazy state of mind - I could hear Sasuke's voice, yet feel the warmth of the other -, my body moved backwards of its own volition, and before I could register what I was doing, I sighed.

It was _heavenly_, the safety and acceptance I felt soaking into my very being, and I could easily imagine that the raven-haired boy I adored so much was the one holding me now.

That fantasy was shattered in moments, as Gaara shifted closer to me and nuzzled his cheek against my hair. It was a wonderful feeling, for I had never felt such affection from another, but just knowing that I shared this experience with the boy who stole my first kiss was enough bring tears to my eyes.

"Why?" I asked, though barely knew what I was asking.

_Why what?_ I reprimanded myself._ Why steal my first kiss? Why throw me off a building after showing such affection? Why hold me now?_

But my mind only settled on one, all-encompassing question. 

"Why _me_?"

It seemed he would ignore me, _again_, when he pressed even closer to my body, and began rubbing his ever warm arms against my waist. The growl which escaped his throat did not go unnoticed by me, and I found myself blushing at his reaction.

I mean, really, who _growled _at the people they were embracing?

"Shut up. Don't talk," he whispered, the scratchiness of his words a pleasant grating against my ear. Where Sasuke's voice was smooth as silk, Gaara's was as raspy as the sand he controlled. Oddly enough, both tones attracted me, and hearing the red-head speak wasn't as unwanted as I would have liked to believe.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, my eyes widened in alarm and I began struggling against the Sand Shinobi with everything within me.

I could not allow myself to think in such a way! Why was I even comparing this sand-controlling freak with my perfect teammate? Why was I beginning to like the warmth I felt when held in the red-head's embrace?

I knew why.

It was because Sasuke, no matter how much I dreamed otherwise, was covered in ice and surrounded by contempt. That, in itself, brought a certain attraction to my being. I loved the idea of a mystery. I loved the thought of breaking down the Uchiha's walls to become the only person he would allow inside.

I loved an _idea_.

But the truth still remained.

I loved Sasuke's coldness, to an extent, but it was his warmth that I sought. I wanted him to be mysterious and untouchable, but I wanted him to open up to me.

This Gaara kid, though I denied it with every fiber of my being, was slowly becoming the very thing I had wished for all my life - save raven-colored locks and beautiful Sharingan eyes. He was cold and quite literally untouchable, yet he allowed me near him - _craved _for me to be near him. He still held the ice and mystery of my idol, yet melted those walls when pressed up against my body.

I loved an idea.

And this creepy red-head was slowly becoming the ideal model for my fantasies.

I struggled more, for this thought frightened me more than I could comprehend, and I couldn't help the words that escaped my mouth in a low, dangerous hiss.

"Let go of me!" _Stop choking me with your embrace! Stop blinding me with your warmth! Let go of my twisted emotions, **and don't you dare become what I have always dreamed of!**_

I was scared, and as the other dumbly loosened his grip on my waist, I wrenched myself free from the arms of the boy who frightened me more than I ever thought possible.

Shaking in my rage, I turned towards the red-head to find he was glaring down at me with cold contempt in his eyes, as if this whole thing was my fault.

_How dare he!_ I thought bitterly, and couldn't hold back the words on the tip of my tongue.

"Don't ever touch me again!" I shouted with all the ferocity I could muster, trying to intimidate the other into backing down.

Apparently, my methods of intimidation were lacking.

He advanced on me, and I did the only thing I could think to do: retreat. For every step he took forward, I took another back, until I was pressed up against a boulder and my only choices of escape were to run straight into the arms of my enemy, or jump off the cliff behind me.

That last option was sorely tempting, but I had to resist - if but for the sake of my country alone.

"I'll do as I please with what is mine," he growled in front of me, and my eyes widened at his words.

"I am no one's property!" If he thought for one second that I was just some weak little girl who bent to the will of just anyone, then I would -

"What about the Uchiha? You act like his servant."

Now _that _had struck a chord in my heart. I hated him for it, too. Though rage bubbled just underneath my skin, I couldn't stop the hurt which crossed my features.

It wasn't like that! I didn't act like Sasuke's servant… I just… well, I…

I had nothing.

But still, I couldn't let _him _know that.

"I'm not his servant! Sasuke-kun is important to me…" I let that last part trail off, though the red-head didn't seem to notice. Instead, he abruptly backed away and stalked to the middle of our campsite, sitting in a crosslegged position and for all the world looking like he was ready to ignore me for the rest of our time together.

I would have liked to say that I didn't mind at all, but something was nagging at the back of my mind.

'You've failed!' taunted Inner Sakura, and I nearly slapped a hand over my forehead in frustration.

_You again?_ I growled inwardly, angry that my subconscious self had appeared out of no where.

'Yep,' she said almost cheerfully, then in a darker tone. 'Just here to tell you that you've failed everyone. Your friends, your family, your country…'

_What are you talking about?_ She - or was it 'I'? - was starting to get on my nerves.

'You're supposed to get on that Gaara kid's good side, right? Well, by the looks of it, he's having a hard time not murdering you right now. How are you supposed to befriend him when you can't even hold a proper conversation without him ending with wanting to throw you off a building?'

Did you have to bring that up again?

'…Yes.'

_Stupid inner self,_ I grumbled while pushing off the boulder and making my way towards the clearing.

_Stupid, hormone-crazed red-head,_ I practically growled as I drew closer to the boy in question.

_Stupid, hell-bound mission,_ I thought while taking a seat in front of my partner and watching as his closed eyes clenched a little tighter.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…_

"I don't want to hate you." The words were out before I had a chance to think them over, but at the moment I didn't really care if I was level-headed or not.

He cracked a single, chillingly blue eye open to gaze at me in suspicion.

"You don't have to lie." His voice was calm, as usual, but I detected a hint of mockery in his tone. It didn't matter, though, because I was still too shocked he had replied to be angry with him.

Taking a deep breath and forcing the tension out of my body, I pressed on.

"Look, if there's one thing I've learned up until now, it's that teamwork is important. We can't be a team if we can't be friends."

There, it was out now. Let him take it as he will…

This time both eyes opened, but they remained completely blank while he replied.

"Friendship has nothing to do with partnership."

"Yes, it _does_," I protested, searching his gaze for anything to hint at his agreement. All I saw was silent disbelief, and I knew that had he eyebrows, one would be raised in amusement.

"I hate everyone," he stated matter-of-factly, tipping his head to the side. "And that has never hindered me before."

This confession shocked me, and for a long moment I had nothing to say in return. How could someone go through life hating everyone they came in contact with? I just couldn't understand it! I had a hard enough time showing dislike for a few people, let alone everyone around me!

"Why?" I couldn't help the stupid question which escaped my lips.

"Hm?" He breathed softly, closing his eyes again, and I knew he was trying to shut me out.

"Why do you hate everyone?" I pressed further, hoping he could give me an answer. Breifly, I realized this was a step closer to the fullfillment of my mission - to spy on the Sand Shinobi -, but right now I was genuinely curious.

His eyes snapped open so quickly, I was taken aback and visibly flinched. The malice held in those icy blue depths chilled me to the bone, and I had the fleeting wish that he might hold me again, if but to warm my body against the cold of his glare.

"Why should I tell you about myself, when I know nothing about you?" As soon as it was said, his black-rimmed eyes were closed again, and I knew the question was meant to be rhetorical.

But still… it was a good idea to gain his trust.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, my favorite color is pink, and I'm an only child."

Slowly, his eyes opened again, and the look he gave me just screamed, 'What the hell do you think you're doing?' I stifled the giggle tickling the back of my throat, and instead tipped my head to the side and smiled as best I could.

"Your turn."

He continued to stare.

"Um… Gaara…?"

I saw the deep rise and fall of his chest, and moments later his scratchy voice filled the silence.

"My name is Sabaku no Gaara, which you already know, and which is all you will ever need to know."

He fell silent again, and I found myself staring at him incredulously.

"Hey, that's not fair!"

I thought I saw the beginnings of a smirk ghost across his lips for a moment, but as soon as it appeared, it was gone.

"Not all of us can be read as openly as yourself."

There it was again! That smirk of his just barely graced his features, but if I looked closely enough, I could clearly see it was there. Smiling myself, I leaned forward and pushed him playfully on the shoulder before common sense could grab hold of me.

Realizing what I had just done, my eyes widened and I leaned back.

"S-sorry," I whispered, avoiding his gaze. When I felt it was safe to look up, I found that his eyes were still locked onto my form, and that they seemed to be burning.

He shifted closer, and I resisted the urge to flee, though the tiniest of whimpers escaped my throat. Instead, I stayed put, trying to be as still as was humanly possible. Maybe he was like a predator? Maybe if I didn't run, he wouldn't hurt me?

His hand reached for mine, and I flinched a little bit at the electricity of such contact. There was yet another thing he had stolen from me. He was the first boy to have held my hand in an affectionate manner.

Bringing my yielding appendege closer to himself, he let my fingers rest on the shoulder I had touched moments ago, then laid his right hand on my left shoulder.

"What is 'this'?" he asked, and before I could question what 'this' was, he pushed me hard enough to send me sprawling on my back.

* * *

****

- Gaara -

"I don't want to hate you."

Her voice, so softly spoken, drifted to my ears from a few paces before me. She must have thought I was an idiot if I were to believe those words.

Honoring her with the presence of a half-open eye, I let my suspicion shine through my gaze.

"You don't have to lie."

She sighed at my reply, letting the tension drain from her body before giving her answer. I wasn't really paying attention to what she said, and only caught a few muttered words such as 'friendship' and 'teamwork.' Something about hate and a good job not mixing, but I didn't really care. I knew that whatever came out of her mouth, I wouldn't agree with it.

Both my eyes opened of their own accord, the emptiness of my attention showing through their depths.

"Friendship has nothing to do with partnership."

Her insistent protest at my words made me wonder at just how sane this girl was. No one argued with me. Hell, no one _questioned _me. For this kunoichi to disregard my beliefs and throw out her own opinions was a completely knew experience. It was almost exhilarating, but I found I grew more and more annoyed with each passing moment.

"I hate everyone," I stated nonchalantly, tilting my head to the side in a show of passiveness. "And that has never hindered me before."

"Why?"

God, this woman could be annoying. First, she wouldn't stop talking, then she fell deadly silent, and now she can't shut up again. I had only experienced such mood swings from my sister, and it was frightening how alike the two were.

Closing my eyes and trying to shut out her incessant ranting, I mumbled a noncommittal, "Hm?"

"Why do you hate everyone?"

_Because hate is safer than love,_ I thought bitterly, letting my childhood memories flood through my mind. _With hate, you are on the offensive; attacking before being attacked, killing before being killed._

Humans were strange creatures, and I found myself glad I wasn't considered a part of their race. At least in being a monster, I ensured my existence in this world. Humanity sought out love in the affectionate sense; I sought out love in the murderous, touch-oriented sense. The problem with affection is that it cannot be taken; it must be given. Life, on the other hand, is easy to seize, and since no one had ever bothered to give me a genuine gift, I learned at an early age to simply take whatever I wanted from whoever I wanted.

I wanted existence, so I took others' lives to maintain that level of living.

In killing, though, I had found a strange inner instinct that activated in the human body when one is at the point of death. Like a last spark of flame igniting in a dying fire, humans tended to fill with a rush of energy when faced with their demise. They fought like animals when threatened, and I being an animal myself - though of the more monstrous kind -, was also threatened by this last flicker of resistence.

I killed to exist, yet in killing, was threatened to have my existence taken from me.

I was naturally impassive, not caring how the world faired as long as I myself faired well. I lived to kill, making every living thing a target for my bloodlust. But by threatening another's life, I gave them the capacity to take my own. I was normally nonchalant about my prey, yet when everyone around me had the capability of taking away my reason to exist, I became threatened and, in affect, hated them for their abilities.

I lived to kill everyone around me, yet by threatening their lives, I gave them reason to threaten my own. This possibility of pain filled my heart with such contempt, I couldn't help but dislike whoever I came into contact with.

And this is where Shukaku's sand shield came in. The demon was a part of my mind, whether I liked it or not. He had a hold on my conscious, and on my sanity. When I felt threatened by something, I was subconsciously telling my demon to protect me. Bound by our strange pyscological bond, the Tanuki was forced to carry out his container's wishes, and he prevented anything from touching me.

Even when I craved contact from another, my deep contempt for everything around me kept me from realizing this dream.

Snapping my eyes open to distract myself of such derailing thoughts, I turned a hateful glare onto the kunoichi before me, and watched with distaste as she flinched at my anger.

"Why should I tell you about myself, when I know nothing about you?" I closed my eyes again, expecting her to fall silent by my spiteful remark, when her voice broke through my thoughts.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, my favorite color is pink, and I'm an only child."

Trying to ignore the shock that filtered through me at what she said, I took that time to slowly crack my eyes open again and give her a look that clearly stated I believed her to be a ranting fool.

What the heck is this idiot talking about?

**'Heh, I think she's trying to socialize with you.'** Shukaku always broke in during the most awkward of moments, and I had to hold back a growl at hearing the Tanuki's voice echo inside my head.

_Shut the hell up,_ I yelled inside my mind, though outwardly remained completely calm.

**'Why don't you humor her? It can't hurt…'** The idea was absurd, and I refused to even consider such a thing. Make small talk with someone? Try to converse with a girl I might end up killing in the war to come?

You stay out of this!

**'Think about it!' **my demon shot back, speaking quickly before I could tune him out. **'If you gain her trust, then it will be easier guiding her away from Sound without raising her suspicions. She is a spy, after all. If you don't build up a basic friendship with the girl, then everything you say will probably be turned against you.'**

Never. I will never 'befriend' another living soul; especially not some idiot kunoichi who can't keep her mouth shut for more than a few hours!

'…If you make her feel more comfortable around you, she may touch you of her own accord. Friends do that, you know.'

I paused for a moment, mulling this over inside my head, and realized it was a chance I was willing to take.

…Damn you, Shukaku….

The demon chuckled heartlessly before fading back into the darker reaches of my mind. **'I know.'**

As I tuned back into reality, I realized the girl had been trying to speak to me, and was now giving my blank features an earnest look.

"Um… Gaara…?"

Taking a deep breath and still trying to get my mind around the fact that I was actually attempting to forge a friendship, I answered.

"My name is Sabaku no Gaara, which you already know, and which is all you will ever need to know."

Well, it was an attempt, at least. I couldn't have her knowing too much about me, after all.

After a few moments of silence passed, the girl shouted at me in incredulity.

"Hey, that's not fair!"

Her look of angered disbelief was oddly endearing, and I felt myself smirk - if but slightly - at the expression plastered on her face. A retort to her stupefied state sat on the edge of my tongue, and I couldn't help but speak what had flitted through my mind.

"Not all of us can be read as openly as yourself."

As soon as the words were out, I was greatly thankful for having spoken them, for a genuine smile I had yet to see upon the kunoichi's face lighted her lips. I was even more grateful, though, for the breif brush of contact the passed between her hand and my shoulder.

Backing away nervously at what she had done, the Haruno girl mumbled a shaky apology.

"S-Sorry…"

_What is there to be sorry about?_ I mused silently, my body still humming from the warmth of her fingers seeping through my sleeve.

And that was when something struck me.

Shukaku allowed this girl to touch me, when everyone else had been deemed a threat. Others were a danger to my existence, wheras she merely enhanced upon such life with the sensation of her warmth against mine.

Since the demon allowed her near to me, that meant she wasn't a threat. And if she wasn't a threat, that meant I didn't have to hate her.

…And if I didn't have to hate her, then maybe… maybe friendship wasn't such a horrible idea, after all?

I found I couldn't take my eyes of the pink-haired kunoichi, and as I leaned in closer to her frightened form, I was pleasantly surprised that she didn't try to run - though a small noise of protest escaped her lips.

Grasping her hand lightly in my own, I placed those fingers back on the shoulder they had previously touched, then let my own hand rest on her left shoulder.

Friendship comprised of trust, and though I wasn't confident I could trust this Sakura girl yet, I realized that I could at least try to understand some of the things she did and said.

So, without giving much thought to what I was doing, I whispered a vague question in hopes of the other providing an adequate answer.

"What is 'this'?" And I pushed her.

Admittedly, I was perhaps a bit too ruff, but seeing the girl sprawled on her back with a mixture of shock and confusion plastered onto her face brought a smirk to my lips.

As expected, her shrieks of outrage filled the silence moments later.

"What the _hell_ was that!?" she yelled, pushing herself back into a sitting position and scooting further away from me.

Still unable to hide the smirk on my features, I tilted my head to the side and said in the most innocent tone I could muster, "You pushed me first."

As if shocked that I had the ability to smile - and the ability to joke, I suppose -, the girl openly gaped at my smug form.

"No, no. I _tapped _you on the shoulder. You _threw _me to the ground. There was no 'pushing' involved." No matter her words, the amusement in her tone was evident, and I knew that she wasn't truthfully angry at what I had done.

"But what does it mean?" I interrupted before she could rant any more.

The look she gave me was one of pure disbelief, but it disappeared almost instantly, as if she caught herself doing it.

"Oh… uh… Well, I guess it's when two friends are joking with each other, and one says something insulting, but the other person just pushes them - _lightly_," I couldn't help but notice how she stressed the word. " - to show that it didn't offend them."

_Well,_ I thought, watching the girl carefully as she stumbled through her explanation._ That was particularly confusing._

"So, what I said earlier didn't… offend you?" I could have cared less if it did or not. I was just making sure I grasped the meaning behind her 'lightly' pushing my shoulder.

Growing bold in her movement, the girl shifted closer towards me before repeating the action from earlier - though she pushed a little harder than before, probably out of a sense of revenge.

"Nope. You can be hard to understand sometimes, but I can tell when you're joking."

_I_ could be hard to understand? Had this kunoichi ever looked in a mirror?

Reaching forward to test out my newly acquired knowledge, I found that that girl darted back out of the way before I could touch her. Glancing up, I saw a wide grin adorning her face as she took a couple steps backwards.

"Oh, no. I'm not letting you manhandle me again!" And she darted to her left, towards the forest, before I could say anything.

I would have to remember to ask her what 'manhandle' meant later, though at the moment the drums of bloodlust were pounding in my heart, and I rose to my feet to give chase.

The thrill of the hunt was a wonderful, euphoric feeling, and as that oh so familiar adrenaline pounded through my veins once again, I found myself letting go and giving in to the bliss of the moment. My mind was comfortably blank, save for the mantra of a monster running through my soul.

_I am the hunter; she is my prey._

I _was_ the hunter, and she _was_ my prey, but the prize I would take from her would be so much more fulfilling than blood.

* * *

_...And the chase begins._

_No, you perverts, Gaara's not going to 'ravish' her. He's talking about touch in that last line... though even that sounds pretty wrong. 0o_

_I keep getting this nagging feeling that I'm rushing their relationship a bit in this chapter. Of course, there will be more trials before they form anything 'steady', but did you think Gaara's resolve of getting to know Sakura was a little too soon? I would love your honest opinions, because that's one part of this chapter that's been bugging me, and I don't know if I'm just waaaaay too slow about relationships, or if I truly have done something wrong._

_So, with that said, review please!_

_- Kodu_


	24. Of Standing on Dangerous Ground

_Ah, finally, an update. And now comes the apology and excuses... First off, I had updated earlier on the previous chapter because I knew that Saturday I would be away with my youth group that weekend to go see a Skillet concert (For those of you who don't know, "Skillet" is an incredible rock band with moving lyrics and amazing music...my favorite band, actually.). It was AWESOME, by the way. The light's show was just... just completely moving when coupled with their songs, and that was definitely a moment in my life I will never forget. Now, moving on, the reason I didn't update the week after that Saturday was because the next Saturday I had a cello competition, and all my spare time was dedicated to practicing (If you want to know more about it, you can check out my livejournal account. I'm under the same penname, "kodukadvakch.")._

_- Kodu_

**Side Note:** I'm probably going to be moving back to shorter chapters, for updating purposes. This one is about half the length of the last one... maybe a little more than that, but definitely not as long. The reason? I'm a busy person, and I don't want to keep breaking my "7-day-update" promise to you guys. The last week was crazy; the next couple of weeks will be just as crazy for me. I have a Bio Gateway coming up, and another competition in 2 weeks, so I don't want my schedule to conflict with my updates on this story.

_Oh my! Wow. I'm a couple days late in updating, and what do I get? 38 awesome reviews for a single chapter! You guys are AMAZING! Hmm... maybe I shoul delay my updates a little more? Heh, just kidding! I wouldn't want to get everyone mad at me..._

**

* * *

**

**23**

**- Gaara -**

Her scent was easy to follow, and even with the heavy gourd of sand weighing down my back, it was easy to keep up. I suppose the advantage of a demon's heightened senses integrated into my very being helped me along, as well. Shukaku was raging inside my body, for the Tanuki loved a good hunt, and my own mind was focused on thoughts of grabbing the girl and bringing her back into my arms. The combined emotions of bloodlust and thirst for touch was a euphoric feeling I could only liken to breathing in sweet grass while standing amongst a lightning storm.

There was unmistakable beauty in what occurred, and undeniable danger in the possibility of what could be.

Perhaps this friendship idea wasn't so bad, after all? If it meant feeling these clashing, melding emotions, then it was well worth a little effort on my part.

Manuvering through the undergrowth of this dense forest with the grace of a skilled hunter, I couldn't help but smirk at the sound of the girl's attempts of escape from but a few meters ahead. I could hear every footfall she landed, every breath she took, and see the damage of her clumsy retreat as she wrought havoc on the unsuspecting plant life which had the misfortune of finding itself in her way.

**'Turn left,'** whispered the demon inside my skull, and I followed his words blindly. When giving chase to my victims, I found it easier to trust the Tanuki's advice. His very being was centered around killing others, so it was logical to assume that he would be skilled in every aspect of death - hunting included.** 'She's making a break for the treeline up ahead. There - do you see it?'**

I did, and as I dashed through the barrier sepearting the light of day from the darkness of the forest's canopy, I could see a blur of pink running frantically for the other side of the gigantic meadow we found ourselves in.

_Perfect,_ I thought smugly, and slowed my pace to a lazy walk. Lifting my right hand in a graceful upwards arc, a stream of sand creeped out of the gourd tied to my back and shot forward to continue my pursuit.

_Too easy,_ I mused as the grainy substance wrapped around the girl's ankle and brought her crashing to the ground.

The muted curses and feral growls coming from the kunoichi was highly amusing, and as I stalked towards her struggling form, I allowed Shukaku to control the sand as it slowly crept up the girl's body. Vaguely, I sensed a breach of sanity as my demon slowly took over my conscious mind, but his grasp wasn't firm enough to cause any lasting damage. In this mindset, I moved closer towards the girl, failing to notice the subtle shifting of the Tanuki until it was too late. By the time I reached her, my head was pounding with intense pain, and my entire being was thirsting for a taste of her sweet blood.

"You shouldn't have ran," I croaked out, my voice hoarse with the strain of my inner struggle.

**'Kill her, kill her, kill her,'** my demon screeched, clawing at my mind and causing a splicing headache to rip through my skull.

Taste or touch? The choice was a hard one, but I didn't want her blood on my hands. At least, not yet.

Bending down to where I crouched beside my partner, I peered at her form through slit eyes and tried to ignore the throbbing ache slowly building inside my head. She struggled as I leaned in closer, and the screeching intensified as my demon's excitement grew.

"Don't," I growled, clutching at my skull and resisting the urge to hold the girl down myself. The more she moved, the more my demon demanded her death; and the more the Tanuki screamed, the weaker my hold on sanity became.

Amazingly, she stopped, and I took that time to breath deeply, forgetting our close proximity for the time being.

"L-let me g-go…" The fear in her voice was so delicious, and Shukaku's struggles grew in intensity.

**'Kill her, my vessel,'** he growled dangerously inside my head.** 'Or I'll show you a new level of touch…'**

_No, _I thought, watching in a detached manner as fiey red locks tossed back and forth in a motion of protest._ I refuse to become that kind of monster. Blood and fear give me life; not sadism._

**'Hn,'** the Tanuki replied, but didn't stop his constant struggle to break free from my mental barriers, much like the kunoichi was trying to break free from my sand's grasp.

Shivering with want for her blood and want for her touch, and needing to stop the girl from exciting my inner monster more, I did the only thing I could think to do.

Grabbing a fist-full of soft pink locks, I pressed the Haruno girl's face into the grassy earth below and whisered against her ear, "I thirst for your blood so _strongly_, right now."

I could smell the terror coming off her in waves, and reveled in that sweet scent. She stopped moving - whether in realization that it wasn't helping the matter, or in shock at what I had just said, I did not know.

Sighing deeply, I moved to lift my hand away from her head, but found that my body was unwilling to release her just yet. Instead, my struggle to walk away turned into a struggle to get ever closer to the wonderful warmth this girl radiated. The pressure on her head lessened to a soft but firm grip, and my fingers began stroking her hair of their own volition.

She whimpered in protest, but my animalistic side was only goaded on to take this contact even further by the endearing noise.

"D-don't," she whispered as my sand slowly turned her around to face me.

"P-please!" she pleaded again as I leaned in closer to her frightened visage.

And as my lips were on the verge of brushing her own, the girl managed to choke out through her tears, "You're _killing _me!"

I knew the pressure of my sand against her body wasn't enough to physically harm her, and that her statement was thus proven to be a lie, but for some odd reason my body jerked backwards in response and I stared at the girl with wild eyes.

Being the monster that I was, I understood the many different ways to kill a person. Most of them were tools of torture used to physically maim a body. But some tricks I had learned of revolved around breaking someone mentally and emotionally, until their minds could no longer take the abuse and would eventually shut down.

This form of killing was much less satisfying than squashing a victim and watching as their blood seeped through my sand, but it was no less effective.

Rising shakily to my feet, I called the sand back to my side with a flick of the wrist, and turned around before I had to face the girl's tear ridden eyes.

Her words, though, were a sharp pain in my ears.

"Stay away from me," she whispered shakily, then in an angrier tone, "Stay _away _from me, you _monster!_"

And before I had time to respond, she stomped blindly back towards camp, leaving me to contemplate all that had just transpired between us.

She wanted me to stay away, did she? Well, seeing as my own self-controll was inevitably weakened in her mere presence, such a request didn't seem too difficult. As the daylight hours slowly faded to night, I couldn't help but think bitterly of the whole situation.

This girl - my weakness - would be the death of me; and, in that sense, would inevitably be the death of _herself_.

* * *

****

- Sakura -

I dreamt of him that night, as I lay curled up inside my sleeping bag in the darkness of our fireless clearing. I dreamt of scratchy sand, and maniacal eyes, and fleeting touches, and desperate warmth…

And though my dreams weren't exactly pleasant, I couldn't quite place them as nightmares, either.

I hated him. I hated his cold demeanor, and his crazed eyes, and his bloodthirsty drive, and his passionate embraces, and his gentle kisses…

_Great,_ I thought, wincing as a bright shaft of sunlight slithered its way over my closed eyelids._ It's morning already…_

Thinking of yesterday only brought a bitter taste of remorse in my mouth, and I realized that I was definitely not ready to face the day just yet. Rolling over on my side, I was fully prepared to ignore reality for a couple more hours, when the piercing blue gaze of the red-head met my own tired jade.

_So, it's back to namecalling, hm?_ I thought to myself, briefly wondering why it had suddenly become harder for me to use the Sand Shinobi's name.

And then it hit me.

Why the heck is he watching me sleep!?

Jerking upwards in my sleeping bag, my grumpy words - I was _not _a morning person - surprised even myself.

"What are _you _looking at?"

And without further ado, I jumped out of my cozy haven and stalked in the direction of the river I had heard just yesterday. I could feel his gaze piercing through my back as I slowly moved deeper and deeper into the surrounding woods, but couldn't find the will to care. Right now, only one thing motivated me to move, and that was the prospect of a nice long bath.

"Stop."

The scratchy voice of my red-headed partner shattered my hopes in the course of a moment.

Still irritated, I shot back a harsh, "What?", not bothering to turn around and face the source of my annoyance.

He wouldn't allow that, however, and moved to stand in front of me, arms crossed and piercing blue eyes staring at me as if _I_ was somehow in the wrong.

"You're angry," he stated blandly, and I fought the urge to yell out, 'no duh!' Instead, I settled for crossing my arms against my chest and leaning against my leg - a rather Kakashi-like stance, I would note later -, raising a single eyebrow in a silent motion for him to continue.

I suppose, had he eyebrows of his own, one would have been raised in much the same manner, as the look he gave me was one of blatant contempt.

"We have a mission," his eyes flitted towards the trees behind my head for a moment, before he stated in a rather monotonous voice, "Whatever is making you angry, get over it."

'I'm gonna kill him!' shouted Inner Sakura in rage, and I found myself struggling to control her urges. It was inevitable that some of that anger would leak out, though.

"I can't just drop what had happened yesterday," I replied tensely, arms still crossed to keep myself from pointing an accusatory finger at the boy standing not but a few feet in front of me.

"You can," he answered in that same even tone, angering me even more than it should have. "You just don't want to."

Furious now, every thread of politeness within me melted away, and I snapped.

"You think I wouldn't want to forget about my _stupid _mistake of trying to befriend you yesterday? You think I don't _regret _ever having laid eyes on you? You think I don't hate you for practically molesting me and _stealing my first kiss!?_"

With each accusation, I took a step closer to the unyielding boy before me, until I was practically nose-to-nose with him, hissing in his face.

"How _dare _you assume what I can and cannot do. _How dare _you assume what I want and do not want. _How dare you _- mmph - ….."

Before I could utter another word, I found myself cut off by the sand-controller's hand against my mouth. My eyes widened as he leaned in towards my face until he could hiss venomously in my ear, "And how dare _you_ assume that I am one to suffer through an idiot's rambling."

Giving me the dirtiest look I had ever seen in my entire life, the Gaara boy released me and took a step backwards, giving me a once-over before tilting his head to the side in an inquisitorial manner.

"I was your first kiss?"

There was a smugness about him that made me blush, and for a fleeting moment I was uncharacteristically hurt that he didn't already know such a thing. Well, I couldn't very well deny it, since I had stated it as a fact a few moments ago. But I sure as hell wasn't about to feed his growing ego.

"It's not like it was anything special," I grated out, forcing myself to meet the other's eyes.

His own blue orbs slit for a moment before he let out a harsh gust of breath - was that a snort? - and focused his attention on a random tree beside his head as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

Then, with eyes sparkling with an emotion I couldn't quite place, he turned to me and shot back, "It's not like you have anything to compare it with."

Was he… mocking me? It was hard to tell, but that gleaming light in his eyes might have been the tell-tale signs of silent goading.

My mind working a mile a minute, I formed an easy reply and spit it out before common sense and self-preservation could warn me otherwise.

"I'm sure Sasuke is better."

And as soon as the scathing comment was out of my throat, I regretted it. Tendrils of sand flared up around Gaara, and I found myself frightened beyond comprehension at the prospect of being crushed in their deadly grip yet again. Taking a shaky step backwards, I was unsurprised to find that the red-head followed.

"The Uchiha?" He questioned, and somehow I knew it was rhetorical. "That sniveling excuse for a ninja doesn't deserve what he has."

'Oh, no he didn't!' Yelled Inner Sakura, and I was in full ageement with her.

_He did not just insult my Sasuke-kun!_

"I can't wait to rip that boy apart," the other continued, and I clenched my fists in anger.

Before me stood a completely maniacle weapon - a monster bred for destruction -, in an obviously unstable state, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to hurt him for mocking Sasuke. I remember Kakashi-sensei telling me that the poison I carried was to be used only in an emergency, and wondered if now was emergency enough. Deciding against it, I used the more conventional route.

My fist was flying towards the red-head before I could register what I was doing, and in the next moment my arm was encased in a wave of sand. As soon as it had come, though, the grainy substance retreated back towards its master, and the sight that greeted me chilled me to the very core.

The look in my partner's eyes wasn't human, and though I had seen plenty of emptiness, and anger, and coldness staring back at me from their depths, I had never before seen something so… _demonic_.

He twisted around before I could further contemplate what was wrong with him, and stated in an overly-gruff voice, "Our mission starts now. We'll scout the area, heading north first."

He was moving before I had time to argue, and somewhere deep inside I knew it wasn't a good idea to come against him anyways. So, with only a small amount of hesitation on my part, we headed northward.

I couldn't help but notice how he always kept a little bit ahead of me, even when I made an attempt to catch up, and that he refused to talk to me, let alone acknowledge that I actually existed.

Once again, I had become a nuisance, an annoyance, and thus passed another madness-filled day.

It was only at nightfall, when we were returning back to camp and Gaara had disappeared into the woods to not be seen again that night, that I realized I had never gotten a chance to bathe.

* * *

_I think I've made it blatantly obvious that now all I'm trying to do is pass the time. I'm really building up angst for a big event I have in mind between Gaara and Sakura, but it would be a whole lot more believable and realistic if they go through a small amount of reflection and...uh... bitterness. Heh, yeah... So, two days has passed. Not too shabby for a single-chapter, huh? And now, tomorrow is the third day - their "day of rest," so to speak. More plot development in the next chapter, for those who have missed it, and the teams reunite!_

_- Kodu_


	25. Of Mission Reports and Sneaky Hokages

_So, I felt bad about making you guys wait longer than seven days on the last update, so I decided to kick my butt into overdrive and get this chapter out a couple of days early. And it's long, too! So, here's my peace offering!_

_- Kodu_

**Note:** I've decided to just keep Gaara's eyes blue in this fic. I've been doing some research, and found a couple fictions where they thought his eyes were blue, too, so I won't be the odd one out.

_Thank you so much for the great reviews!_

**

* * *

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**24**

**- Gaara -**

It was so late that it was actually early, by the time I stalked back to our self-proclaimed campsite. The darkness engulfed me, as it had last night, yet with my heightened senses I could still smell the girl curled up in a ball near the crimson stake lodged into the ground at the center of this clearing.

Shifting quietly towards the cliff edge on the westward end of our camp, I settled myself atop one of the larger boulders adorning the rocky ledge and gazed out upon the shining moon.

True, the blackness of night crept into every crack and crevice atop Earth's good face, but the stars which lit my path twinkled like welcoming lanterns hung up in a backdrop of empty space. I was unafraid of night. If anything, it comforted me; afforded me with a time of peace, a time away from the nagging troubles of a humanity wich glared at me as harshly as the cruel rays of sunlight come dawn.

I could hide in darkness without having to admit that I was hiding, and I rather liked this freedom.

Slowly, softly, as if drawn downward by a waiting lover, the moon began to sink in the horizen, and the celstial heavens above faded from their robes of purple and navy blue to a lighter shade of sea green and turqoise.

The breif glimpse of pale morning light reminded me of _her _eyes, and in an instant, my moment of peace was shattered.

Today was the third day of our mission, the third day I had been stuck with that idiot kunoichi, and already she was driving me more insane than I usually was. Of course, it was illogical to blame her for my demon's thirst for blood, or for my body's craving for touch, but it felt nice all the same.

I stayed on the rock - one leg bent upwards towards the sky, the other dangling off the edge in a lazy manner - long after the birds began to wake and sing their joyous songs of morning mirth. Maybe, if I controlled my breaths and didn't stir, then the kunoichi wouldn't wake for another few hours, and I wouldn't have to suffer through anymore annoying rantings or - even worse - near-touch experiences.

The sun rose higher still, and the girl had yet to rise from her curled position by the stake. I waited a few moments, listening to the wind rustle the leaves on towering trees, to the distant trickle of running water, and to the nearly inaudible breaths of the pink-haired girl resting a little ways away. Breaths which, oddly enough, seemed to accelerate with every passing moment…

"I know you're awake," I grated out, my voice scratchy from disuse.

Seconds later, a rather frazzled looking kunoichi shot up from her resting position and gave me the dirtiest glare anyone had dared shoot my way.

"How?" She replied, her voice just as rough as mine had been. This was our first conversation since yesterday's argument, and to tell the truth, I was rather surprised she wasn't yelling at me yet.

"Your breaths are more drawn out - deeper - in rest than when you are alert."

Seeing as I had yet to turn and face her, I could only but feel the girl's fiery jade eyes piercing into my back.

"Stupid freakish senses…" she mumbled, and I assumed she hadn't meant for me to hear it.

"Get up," I stated, rising from my own position on the boulder to step lightly into the grassy area of the clearing. "We report to Konoha's main gates by noon."

Honestly, I had no idea what time it was, but if the position of the sun in the sky was any indicator, we were already pushing ten o'clock, and it took a good two hours of running to get from here to there.

"Let me take a bath first…" the girl began, but I cut her off.

"No. We don't have time. Bathe in your own home. Now pack up."

I was surprised at myself, really. Never before had I spoken so much to someone I knew so little about. The Haruno girl looked aggravated at first, but she would get over it soon enough. Right now, my priority was to get away from this girl's presence before I did something else I would regret.

She packed in record time, though I suppose my looming presence hovering over her shoulder helped motivate her to move faster. As soon as the kunoichi had slung the last strap of her pack over her shoulder, I set off into the trees, listening as the soft rhythm of Sakura's feet tapped lightly against the wooden branches; reveling in the thought that this girl would follow me anywhere.

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" - and then this rabid squirrel started chasing me around the stash of acorns we had picked up, growling and all that crap. I swear, the thing was _possessed!_"

The first thing I had the pleasure of hearing when we entered through the gates of Konoha, was my brother's excited voice as he retold the story of him and his partner foraging for food.

Ah, well; pleasure was overrated, after all.

The Hyuuga girl giggled as Kankuro gestured wildly with his hands, mimicking how he had so bravely fought off the horrid beast to save his milky-eyed companion.

"Idiot," Temari scolded, whacking the man in question across the face and nearly knocking his 'cat-hood' off in the process.

"Ouch! Hey! I don't hear about _you _doing anything worthwhile while we were gone!"

"… Being chased by a squirrel is worthwhile?" My sister's quirked eyebrow blatantly stated what she thought about this subject.

"It's guard duty; it's troublesome. We're not _supposed _to be doing anything worthwhile…" The Shikamaru kid was leaning lazily against a wooden fence, arms crossed as he tried with all his might to fight off sleep.

Kankuro wasn't one to pout. His 'pouts' looked more like death threats. But he still tried every once in a while.

"Well, just go ahead and take her side, why don't ya'?"

"Guys, guys," interrupted an older male with black hair falling across his right eye. "Calm down and wait just a little longer. The other's will be here soon…"

"Hey, there!" called another man standing beside the first, the strip of white cloth strewn across his nose and cheeks stretching as a smile found its way to his face. "Here they come," he shot back to the others behind him, even though it wasn't necessary.

I and the Sakura girl were now in earshot as we ambled up to the group waiting for us. The first four were familiar, but the two new men put me on guard.

"Uh…hello…?" said Sakura uncertainly as an uneasy silence fell between us.

That peaceful quiet was broken in the blink of an eye when the man to have spotted us stepped forward and smiled.

"Hey there! I'm Hagane Kotetsu, and this is Kamizuki Genma -" Here, he gestured at the other who had come to stand beside him. "We're the Chuunin you'll be working with for the next month or so."

"Oh," replied the pink-haired kunoichi, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her dense behavior. I opted to ignore the others' presence completely, and instead made my way back towards my siblings; towards familiarity.

"Well…" continued the one called Kotetsu, trailing off as I passed by him to reach my own team. " I guess you need to give us a full mission report before we allow you back into Konoha."

Genma turned around and presented each of us with a formal missions' paper, complete with binding contract at the top.

"The contract states that you won't lie on your report. Everything else should be easy to fill out. When explaining the mission, try to be as detailed as possible…"

"When you're done," cut in Kotetsu, "Just give I or Genma your paper, and we'll file it for you."

And with that the two Chuunin left us alone, stalking back towards the relative safety of the main gates.

Skimming through my paper, I grabbed the offered pencil from one of my siblings and began the tedious task of filling it out.

_Signature?_ I thought, tapping the led tip lightly against the form.

My signatures were written in blood; a binding contract that ensured my existence by the death of others.

Though, I suppose they wouldn't much appreciate a splatter of blood across their missions' report…

Sabaku no Gaara it was, then.

Briefly, I wondered at the cultural differences between Sunagakure and Konohagakure, and how the inhabitants were christened differently. I had found it strange, at first, when the people of Konoha had introduced themselves with two names, and was still having a little difficulty in deciding which one I should use.

Baki had explained to me later, that in the Land of Fire, giving a child two - even three - names was a common occurrence, and that each one had a different significance. Take Haruno Sakura, for instance. The first name - Haruno -, he had explained, represented what family she came from; while her second - Sakura - was what she went by.

Suna operated differently. Instead of multiple names, most often than not, we used only one. Our family name was determined by our ancestry, or the father before us. Yondaime no Kankuro; Yondaime no Temari. Our individual name was just that - our individual name.

I, though, was an exception to that rule.

The Kazekage hardly considered me his son, nor did I consider him my father. The people of Suna didn't like calling me the child of the Yondaime, for they couldn't grasp the concept that their leader had sired a demon. They had called me monster, sand-controller, Sabaku no Gaara, and the name had stuck.

Skipping down a few lines, I tapped my pencil lightly against the space they had provided for a description of the mission.

'Detailed,' the Chuunin had said._'_

_We saw nothing.',_ I wrote out in a sprawling script.

There, that was detailed enough.

When my siblings finished, we gave our reports to the waiting Chuunin, and turned back to the Konoha genin who followed soon after.

"Hey," Temari said, her voice as cheery as I had ever heard it. "How about we all go to lunch together?"

"I'm in," stated Kankuro, placing a hand over his gut as if to emphasize his need for food.

"Alright…" whispered the Hyuuga girl timidly, giving the faintest of smiles to my grinning brother.

"It's not too troublesome…" the lazy Nara kid yawned, pushing off the wall and glancing towards Sakura as if to ask her opinion on the matter.

Before she could even reply, I cut in.

"No." Gazing levelly at my siblings, I crossed my arms and waited for them to consent.

"But, Gaara…" my sister began, but the look I shot her cut her off.

Glancing back at the Konoha genin, I shot my siblings a quick, "We're leaving," before stalking off in the direction of our apartment.

Though the offer for food was tempting, I couldn't stand the presence of that pink-haired kunoichi much longer. My self-control was slowly waning, and I feared if I didn't get away, I would either rip the throat out of the nearest threat to come my way, or jump the girl the next chance I got.

Though the last option was appealing, there was something within me that said her touch would be so much more satisfying if she held me of her own will, and that if I continued treating her like a toy I could force into my arms at any moment, she would never come to me willingly.

It was annoying, really, how close touch was to love. Yashamaru had said that love can't be taken; that it must be given to you. Touch, I had come to find, was only satisfying when the giver gave of their own free will.

Yes, truly annoying, how I craved touch when such a feeling was dangerously close to love.

I didn't even want to consider how close, exactly, I was coming to another betrayal…

* * *

**_- Sakura -_**

_Details…details… _I thought distractedly, gazing in a trance-like state at the paper held in my hands._ What kind of details are they talking about?_'The hot, steamy kind,' cut in my inner self, and I growled at her to leave me alone.

Shaking my head as if this would clear my mind, I began.

'We arrived at the marker at around noon on the first day, where…'

'…Gaara continued to be an obnoxious ass…'

'We then proceeded to secure the perimeter. After a small disagreement, we settled our dispute and…'

'…The crazed red-head jumped me, threatened me, and pushed me to the ground.'

'The rest of the day I…'

'Played tag with a monster, argued some more, and ignored the other until we started heading back for the village.'

_Shut up!_ I yelled inside my head, trying to get Inner Sakura to stop butting in.

'But it's true! And you signed a contract!'

Okay, so maybe being specific wasn't exactly the best idea I had ever had. Frustrated, I resisted the urge to crumple up my paper into a tiny ball and throw it in the trash, and instead opted to turn it in like the rest of my friends.

When they started talking about eating lunch together, I began to panic.

I had spent two and a half days with that Gaara kid, and I wasn't about to waste the rest of this bit of freedom spending even _more _time with him.

Stepping forward, I was about to protest when the red-head cut me off.

"No."

A small pause, and then Temari interjected a small, "But Gaara…", when the sand-controlled gave her one of the dirtiest looks I had ever seen.

"We're leaving," he stated after a few moments of awkward silence, then turned and headed back towards town.

"Troublesome boy," mumbled Shikamaru when they were out of earshot, then turned to us with arms crossed. "Well, are we still up for lunch? There's nothing better to do…"

I found myself nodding before I could think over my decision, and the three of us headed off towards Ichiraku.

There was no one there, for which I was very thankful, since the business was so small a group of three could be considered a crowd. Claustrophobia was never a problem of mine, but right now I just wanted to _breathe_.

Our little crowd of three took our seats on the barstools in front of the counter - Hinata in the middle while I and Shikamaru boxed her in -, and ordered a simple meal of ramen. It wasn't my favorite food, but it was cheap, and I was running out of money to spend. My mom had left me with enough to get by while she was away, but I knew if I wasted it all on eating out, then it would run out all too quickly.

"So…" Hinata began, and her timid voice was given my full attention. "How did your missions go?"

The Nara boy sighed, leaning so far forward on the counter that for a moment I thought he was going to jump over to the other side. "We didn't find anything suspicious, but that blonde-haired shinobi was troublesome to work with."

He paused, and only continued when I and Hinata shot him questioning looks.

"She wouldn't let us set up one, simple camp, but forced me to build my own in another clearing separate from hers. Something about women needing privacy… but she was just being a pain."

I forced down the giggle tickling the edges of my throat, swallowing loudly to stop myself from breaking out into a fit of laughter. That definitely sounded like something Temari would do! The Sand kunoichi was as harsh as the wind that eroded the rocks in her land, and her innate stubbornness matched my own. I almost felt sorry for the Shikamaru kid… _almost_… but knew that her pushy attitude was exactly what he needed.

Hinata gave a soft laugh and a shy smile. "That's what Kankuro-san did, too. Only, he said it was for _my _privacy, not his."

'Wait,' interrupted a very agitated Inner Sakura. 'We were the only one's to not set up some boundaries with our partner?'

It seemed so, and suddenly I felt all the more idiotic for it. In my struggle to avoid, then befriend, then avoid the red-head once again, I had forgotten that things would be a lot simpler if I just sat down and talked to him.

Of course, it was hard to blame myself for such a mistake, since those chilling blue eyes always seemed to pierce into my very soul every time I caught him looking at me. Any sane person would see the threat in the boy, and avoid him naturally. Heck, any dumb animal would do the same!

But, not matter what excuses I made, it was still foolish of me to begin a mission without coming to some sort of agreement with my partner. Shikamaru and Hinata had done it; why couldn't I do it, too?

And that's when it struck me.

Had Gaara already set up these boundaries without my knowing? My friends said that their teammates didn't sleep in the same area as they did, and it just now hit me that not once had the red-head fallen asleep in my general vicinity. In fact, in the two nights I had stayed with him, he always wandered off into the woods as I was settling in for the night.

But that couldn't be right. Every time I had woken, he was there; watching me with an alert expression that told me he had been awake long before I even began to stir.

Just the mere thought that the sand-controller might have some ounce of decency overwhelmed me. Shaking these thoughts from my mind before I got a headache, I tuned back into reality to find someone had been talking to me.

"_Sakura-chan!_ Helloooooo? Anyone in there?"

Apparently, in the course of my blatant zoning out, my teammates had found us and had decided to join us for lunch. It was annoying how I could so easily lose myself in thought.

Naruto moved to tap me on the shoulder when I intercepted his wrist before he could make contact.

"Don't touch me," I growled, then widened my eyes as I realized I had said the exact same thing to Gaara just the other day.

"Uh, okay…" he said, brushing off my slip-up as if it were nothing. He was about to take a place on the empty seat beside me when Sasuke cut him off.

Dropping down with the grace of an agile killer, my crush turned his dark eyes to me for a brief moment before confronting the now-fuming Naruto.

"Hey, Sasuke! That's not fair! You don't even _like _Sakura-chan!"

The enigmatic blonde looked ready for another fight, but the black-haired boy replied with a calm smoothness I had only ever heard from his mouth.

"Idiot, just sit down."

Grumbling, the boy in question crossed his arms and lowered himself onto the seat next to Sasuke, mumbling something about 'stupid, arrogant know-it-alls.'

I didn't miss the blush which lit up Hinata's features when she looked over at Naruto, and he glanced back at her.

"Hi, Hinata!" shouted my teammate from across Sasuke and I, and the girl's blush deepened.

"H-h-hello, N-naruto…"

I also didn't miss how her stutter came back when around Naruto, but ignored it for now. What mattered was that Sasuke-kun had chosen to sit by _me_, when he could have easily sat on the outside like he usually did. Was he starting to like me? Was he actually acknowledging me? The mere thought made me giddy with excitement.

When our food came out, I had to beat Naruto over the head to keep him from stealing my meal. Hinata offered to share hers, but he - surprisingly - declined, saying he didn't want to eat all of her hard-earned food.

_Which is just stupid,_ I thought incredulously while gathering a helping of noodles onto my chopsticks to slurp them down in a rather unladylike fashion._ Because you were willing to steal my hard-earned food not five seconds ago!_

When we were done, and everyone was dispersing, Sasuke surprised me by taking me off to the side and whirling me around to face him. 

"How was your mission?" he asked with piercing eyes, and I instantly knew that the real question here was, 'What can you tell me about Gaara?'

I was about to answer him - to spill everything that had happened on the mission to the boy I admired - when a tap on the shoulder stopped me. I whirled around to find the single eye of my sensei smiling down at me.

"Sakura," he stated softly, glancing at Sasuke for a moment before returning his attention to me. "Sasuke has a lot of training to do…"

I was about to protest - to offer that I go along with them - when he stopped me once again.

"The Hokage and his council requested you meet with them, immediately."

All thoughts of my crush flit out of my mind as my body filled with tension and apprehension. The Hokage wanted to speak with _me_, in front of his councilmen, nonetheless?

I gulped, and nodded softly before heading towards the Hokage's tower.

I felt, rather than saw, the glare of my dark-eyed teammate piercing into my back, and had to suppress the shudder which rose in my flesh at the feel of such an icy gaze.

Sasuke was not warm, and I found myself reminded of this fact with each passing day.

But I want him to be…

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"Haruno Sakura." The Hokage's voice seemed to echo around the walls of the room with a tangible authority. Before me stood an oval table taking up the majority of space in what I could only assume was the Sandaime's private meeting room. He sat at the head of the mahogany table, furthest away from me, and was surrounded by a group of elderly councilmen and women.

"You have been assigned a dangerous mission to protect the wellbeing of your country by gathering intelligence on the weapon from Suna. Tell us, what have you found?"

Somewhere, in the pit of my stomach, I had known this meeting pertained to my forced contact with the Gaara boy, but I hadn't been confronted with that fact until just now.

_What have I found, indeed,_ I thought, going over the last few days I had spent in the woods, and trying to organize the little bits of his personality that he had revealed.

"He speaks little, and keeps to himself. We haven't really talked much…" I remembered our first real conversation, and quickly added, "But I think he's just not used to much social contact."

Before I could continue, the Hokage interrupted in a strained tone.

"Haruno, we asked for intelligence, not the Sand Shinobi's personality quirks. What is his history? What is his objective?"

"I… I don't know."

Holy cow, was I failing my mission? Was my inability to act with civility towards my partner threatening my country? Would my own fear and inhibitions be the downfall of Konoha? These questions unnerved me, and suddenly I felt the hot shame of failure choke my throat.

The room went silent, and I felt my face heat up as such failure was made known.

"Sakura," Sandaime-sama began, his voice soft and soothing - the voice of a father comforting his child. "Sabaku no Gaara is a monster, a killer, and a threat to all of Konoha… But he is just a child. A child which - by rumor's mouth -, was cast off from society to become the weapon of his nation."

He sounded almost sad as he said this; as if he pitied the boy.

"Show him compassion, show him friendship, and I am certain your job will much easier for you to bear. We need you, Sakura. All of Konoha is counting on you to protect us from this child."

I was shocked, true, but far from speechless.

"But, Hokage-sama! You… you don't understand! He's frightening… and possessive… and he's constantly forcing me into his arms, and… and…"

A light seemed to spark behind the leader of the Leaf Village's eyes, and I suddenly regretted ever having spoken out.

"So, he _can _touch you?" The question was rhetorical, as I could practically see the wheels spinning inside the Sandaime's head. "Sakura, have you ever thought of using that to your advantage?"

"I… what?"

"The rumors say he can't physically come into contact with another human being, but he can with you. Not only that, but by what you have said, he craves your touch."

"I don't understand where you're going with this…"

What was this old man getting at, anyways?

Smiling, the Hokage spread his hands wide. "Why, you should make a deal with him! If he wants you to hug him so much…"

_I hardly consider that crushing embrace a hug,_ I interjected inwardly.

"… then make an exchange. Contact for information."

I wasn't stupid, and I knew what he was implying. "So, you want me to sell my body for a few simple words?" The mere thought made me bristle, and I couldn't mask the bitterness in my tone.

Sobering, the Sandaime shook his head. "Sakura, all kunoichi must be willing to do such a task at one point in their lives, but you are still too young and inexperienced to understand the complexities of such a mission. If things become sexual…"

I blushed.

_Well, we both knew what he was talking about, but did he have to go and say it out loud like that?_ This only served to make me even more bitter.

"… then back down. But it's a good plan, nonetheless. I expect you to act on in tomorrow."

Stuttering, I tried to protest. "B-but… I… Well, you see… I…"

I had nothing.

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

_Great,_ I thought, as I was dismissed from the council and led back to the streets. _Not only do I have to befriend Gaara, but I have to… hug him, too._

Tomorrow would be a long day.

* * *

_First off, I apologize for the lack of fluff, but this chapter was needed to set up for greater things to come. I'm actually plotting out my own outline of what has happened each day, so I can have their relationship move at a realistic pace. It puts it into perspective when I have something like "Day 1 - First contact, second contact, first kiss, third contact" to let me see just how fast their feelings are moving. _

_BUT, there is something I would like to point out which I think was WAY too vague for anyone to catch (And if you understood it, kudo's to you!). The last lines from Gaara's perspective,_

"Yes, truly annoying, how I craved touch when such a feeling was dangerously close to love.

I didn't even want to consider how close, exactly, I was coming to another betrayal…"

_are meant to be sort of a subtly life-changing realization for him. He states that touch is close to love, and then, seemingly out of the blue, says he's coming close to another betrayal. Let me explain: He once loved Yashamaru, but his uncle betrayed him. By "coming close to another betrayal," he's actually coming close to love. So there's your extremely vague fluff for this chapter!_

_Review, please, and tell me what you think!_

_-Kodu_


	26. Of a Sibling's Advice and Hot and Cold

_My, this chapter is rather early. Though I don't rely on inspiration to write my stories, I sure do love it when it comes! This chapter sort of popped out in the course of two days - hot off the press, so to speak - and I couldn't wait to get it to you guys. It's just a little more setting up for things to come, but it wasn't as tedious a task to write this chapter as the last few were. Next chapter is some fluff, and the beginning of some big relationship changes between Gaara and Sakura... and I almost can't wait myself to write it! So, without further ado, here is chapter 25!_

**Note:** The sunset described in the beginning of this chapter is exactly what today's sunset had looked like... only, I had written this the day before... 0.o

_Thank you for your kind reviews, and Happy Easter, everyone!_

_(He is risen!)_

_- Kodu_

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**25**

**- Gaara -**

The sunset that evening was beautiful in its simplistic nature. Just a fading of orange and a darkening of the onslaught of blue which followed. Though extravagance could not be used to describe the setting of the sun that day, I found that nothing could quite compete with its comforting nature.

After all, life had moments of peace just as meaningful as those moments of passion.

And sunsets, to me, were a giver of life; a bringer of purpose.

Sighing, I reflected on the events of the last couple of days, and dwelled on the feeling of the pink-haired girl's touch on my skin.

_Life-giving_ couldn't even begin to describe the spark of purpose that flared up every time I had brushed up against her. Though a part of it frightened me to unimaginable degrees (I seemed to lose control of myself every time we made contact.), it was undeniable that a part of it clashed with, and even overran, my need to kill. For all the hatred and bloodlust integrated into my very being, I had found that a mere kunoichi's simple touch could replace what had been my reason to exist since the day of my birth.

And it didn't stop there.

For, when the girl had slid her fingers over my shoulder - when she had willingly made such contact of her own volition -, such a feeling intensified a hundred fold.

I growled at the memory, because it was frustrating to know that I couldn't force such a feeling out of her. I couldn't _make_ her want to touch me, at least not with the way I had been treating her lately. If I continued to stay in her presence, forced to reign in my warring emotions and desires, then I would lose control; and, in this mindset, I had avoided the girl.

Haruno Sakura.

Sakura.

The name had become a curse upon my tongue.

A curse, as it were, and a blessing, in the same breath.

Shukaku allowed me to touch this girl - and her I -, and for this I was grateful. Suspicious, yes, but grateful nonetheless. She made me lose control, and yet she gave me a reason besides death to live.

This wasn't love. Love brought on betrayal, and I would kill her before I allowed her to do such a thing.

It wasn't even about obsession, anymore.

This was _need_. This was a pure, untainted desire to have something I had never before imagined I could have.

The problem was, for me to have her, she needed to _give _herself.

Seeing as I had never been given a gift in my life, and would likely never _be _given a gift, I had to go about this a different way, and make the girl _want_ to give herself to me.

But first, I needed to find out how to do such a thing.

Alighting from my place on the rooftop, I slipped in through the window and made my way through the familiar darkness of the hall. The light which peeked out from under my siblings' bedroom alerted me to their presence, and I stepped through the door without uttering a single word.

The silent whispers I had heard a moment before ceased as I began unsnapping the buckles holding on my gourd, leaning its heavy weight against the wall. I felt the eyes of my teammates upon me, and when I turned to face them, I let my own blue gaze rest on one, then the other.

"Uh… hey, Gaara?" mumbled a confused Kankuro, effectively breaking the silence which had hung like an iron weight on the inhabitants of the room. The question in his voice was unmistakable, though I chose to ignore it for the moment.

Looking from left to right, I stalked lazily towards the window, and basked in the moonlight which filtered through the dirty glass. I kept my eyes on the stars as I asked the question which had been bothering me since earlier that evening.

"How do you make someone want to touch you?"

They were shocked. Even though my back was to them, and I couldn't see the expressions on their faces, I could tell by the tense silence that followed that _this _was not a question they had been expecting.

"W-what do you mean?" stammered a hesitant Kankuro, and I wondered at how he could not understand what I had asked. It was simple enough, wasn't it?

I didn't deign to reply, and instead turned to face my now-anxious siblings. Staring at them with empty eyes, I waited a few moments before elaborating.

"Touch," I stated, running my hand across my arm for emphasis. "How do you make someone want to be near to you?"

My brother visibly relaxed, and I glanced over to Temari to find that her shoulders had slackened, as well.

"Gaara, is this about that Sakura girl?" My sister was the smart one of the two, and I wasn't surprised that she had had the common sense to ask me bluntly, rather than beat around the bush.

I nodded once, then turned my attention to her, as it seemed my brother didn't have enough brains to help me in this department.

"And you want to… court her?"

The thought hadn't crossed my mind, actually, but now that it was presented, I couldn't help but wonder at the benefits of such a decision. I wanted her touch, after all, and if seeing my brother hold the hand of many a female prospect was any indication, courtship was the fastest route to such a goal. It offered commitment, which was something I would demand of the Haruno girl; for if she ever decided to be mine, I would never allow such an opportunity to leave my grasp.

On the other hand, courtship was a ritual between lovers, and the mere thought of sharing such a weak and meaningless emotion with another made me sick. If the kunoichi were to ever get in the way of my existence, I wouldn't hesitate to kill her. Or if my bloodlust were to become too strong, I would have no qualms with crushing her on the spot.

Courtship wasn't the right word to describe what I wanted.

The problem, though, was that I wasn't quite sure what else to call it.

"I want her to come to me willingly." My voice was rough while saying this, for the mere thought of her inciting contact of her own free will drove me to a point of madness beyond my own insanity. "Whether or not that is considered courtship, doesn't concern me."

By the looks on their faces, I knew they were itching to ask about what had happened between me and the kunoichi on our two days alone in the woods, but I also knew that they understood I wasn't willing to release such information. Privacy, after all, meant a great deal to me. I couldn't stand being around people for too long. And what they didn't deign to ask, I didn't deign to answer.

Sighing, as if my little statement meant a great deal to her, Temari began questioning me in a hesitant manner.

"Why do you want her to be with you freely? And, why _her_, of all people?" Her words weren't meant to be derogatory, and I understood that.

Taking my time in mulling over this question, I returned, "She in the only one able to touch me… and, contact feels… _stronger _… when someone else incites it first."

My siblings knew me better than anyone else; enough to know that when I felt strongly about something, I became obsessive. They must have sensed that in my answer, for the tension in the room seemed to intensify.

"Gaara…" whispered Temari, and I let my eyes rest blankly on the blonde-haired shinobi. "She's probably… afraid of you."

Everyone was afraid of me, and I couldn't help the bitterness that seeped into my soul at the thought. Fear was weakness. Shukaku preyed after weakness. Therefore, I killed the weak, making others afraid of me - which only continued the cycle. If Sakura was afraid of me - and there was no doubt that she was -, then that meant my demon would be constantl vying for her blood, as I was constantly vying for her touch. I would forever be at war with myself, and it frustrated me that I would even consider going through so much trouble just for the touch of another.

I had become needy, and I wanted to kill myself because of such shameful emotions.

"That's understandable," I growled, and pushed off the wall, making for my gourd and the door. I didn't like where this conversation was going, and resented the fact that my sibling had brought up such a blatantly obvious subject.

"Gaara, wait!" Temari protested, and before I could comprehend what was happening, a wall of sand shot up and sliced through the delicate skin of my sister's outstretched hand.

She winced and pulled the bloody appendage back towards her chest, cradling the injured limb in her other arm. Her blood smelt nice, and I couldn't help but lick my lips at the thought of finishing the job my sand had started, but forced such a desire into the back of my skull.

It wouldn't bode well to kill the people I was trying to get advice from.

"I hurt you." My voice was bland, emotionless, as I turned back to my teammate, watching as my brother leapt from his bed to stand beside the injured woman. He glanced at me for a brief moment, and I was surprised to find concern shining in the depths of his eyes, instead of the burning hatred I had come to expect.

"It's alright," whispered Temari as she lifted her head to face me head-on.

I suppose my siblings had always been tough - survival ingrained into their minds at an early age, since my birth had ushered in a life of troubles -, but I hadn't noticed it until just then; watching as they stood strong together, facing the monster that was myself without any outward fear.

Though, I could always pass off this nearly admirable quality to the fact that they had probably gotten used to my madness by now.

Taking a deep breath, my sister began anew. "She's probably afraid of you, Gaara… so you just have to show her that there's nothing to be afraid of."

I had just managed to maul my sister's hand without even thinking about it, and she was trying to pass off that I wasn't dangerous? I might have laughed, had I not been genuinely curious.

"How?" The question was out of my mouth before I could register the fact that I was replying, and I was disgusted at the near-desperate tone of my voice.

As if wanting to add his two cents, my brother shot out, "Just follow your instincts."

My _instincts _told me to kill and maim others, shredding their bodies into a bloody pulp until their screams of misery could be heard for miles around.

As if just realizing his mistake, Kankuro's eyes widened, and he let a stupid, nervous grin fall onto his paint-less features. "I mean… uh… just do the exact _opposite _of what your instincts tell you to do."

I blinked a few times, and tipped my head to the side in thought. That actually made sense, in a way only Kankuro's idiotic mind could conjure forth.

Temari shot him a glare to rival one of my own, and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling above, as if it held all the answers. "Idiot," she mumbled, then turned to me with a more passive look on her features.

"If you want a girl to like you…"

_Wait a minute, _I thought, mulling over her choice of wording in my head. _This sounds like dating advice, not contact-seeking advice._ A bit irritated now, I listened on.

"… you have to show her that you care."

That was just the problem. I _didn't _care. This desire for touch - desire for acceptance, so to speak - was purely selfish.

As if sensing my foul mood, Temari quickly added, "The quickest way for a girl to give contact so freely, is to make her feel comfortable around you. And women feel comfortable when they feel safe."

Was that all I had to do? Protect her? With my ultimate defense shadowing my every move, such a task would be simple. But, as I was mulling over the different ways in which to safeguard the girl against enemy attacks, my sister interrupted my thoughts.

"If she's afraid of you, then you need to let her know that she's safe… from yourself."

I nodded once, then picked up my gourd to leave, when my brother's surprisingly well-placed words stopped me.

"Gaara," he stated calmly, in a soft voice. With my back facing them, I tilted my head to the side to gaze at him with a single, blank eye. "Be gentle with her."

Giving a small, noncommittal "Hn," I stepped out of the room into the welcoming darkness of the hallway.

And as I settled myself in a meditative stance in the corner, I let my mind wander over all the things my siblings had told me, and began to contemplate what it would be like if I actually took their advice.

It couldn't hurt, could it?

* * *

****

- Sakura -

My mind was aching as I trekked through the heart of town to reach my home, and as I stepped into the emptiness of my ever-lonely house, I found that my feet had followed suit. The temperature outside had dropped a couple degrees, and I felt the affects of an unlived house seep into my skin in the form of goosebumps.

"Must be the beginning of a Dogwood Winter…" I mumbled to no one in particular, moving to my kitchen to try and scrounge up something to eat for dinner. The fridge was empty, save for a few green apples, so I moved to the cupboards, only to run across the same problem.

"Sheesh, did mom take all the food with her on her mission?"

'No, you've just been pigging out since your parents left,' cut in Inner Sakura, and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, just shut up."

I knew it was strange, but in the freedom of my own house, I felt more inclined to talk to my inner self out loud. When I was alone, there was no one to listen to my madness; though I was pretty sure that if anyone ever caught me talking to myself, I would die of embarrassment then and there.

Sighing in resignation, I opted to eat an apple for dinner instead of going through the trouble of shopping, and grabbed the juicy fruit before I could change my mind. Biting in, I sank into the living room couch and stared at the unlit fireplace, not bothering to turn on a light even though night had already fallen by now.

Thinking back on the day, I grimaced. Meeting with the Hokage had been torture, but after that I had gone through the pain of seeing my friends, Shikamaru and Hinata, again, and had to put on a fake smile as we discussed the different aspects of our mission.

As the sun began to set, Hinata had been the first to notice the chill of the evening, and had suggested we pack extra blankets for the continuation of our mission tomorrow. It was getting about that time of year where the northern winds of the Lightning Country blew into Konoha, bringing with them an unseasonably cold frost, which the Hidden Leaf Village called the 'Dogwood Winter.' During this time, the plants most accustomed to the Fire Country's balmy summer weather would wilt and die, while the blossoms of the Dogwood trees would remain flawless.

"Cold, but beautiful," I mumbled, lifting from my place on the couch to start packing for tomorrow's mission, when a frighteningly familiar voice stopped me.

"Talking to yourself?"

Funny, how the words which best fit the Uchiha's personality would conjure him up in such a way.

I gasped, whipping around in the direction his voice had come from, and came face to face with a pair of frightening blood-red eyes.

"Sasuke-kun," I choked out, too shocked to comprehend anything but his name at the moment.

"We never finished our conversation from before."

He cut right to the chase, and I found myself gulping as he advanced on me, the backs of my knees hitting the couch which, in turn, made me tumble into its welcome softness.

The room was still bathed in darkness, so all I could see of my teammate were his passive Sharingan eyes which seemed to hover in the void. They didn't remain passive for long, though, and as he leaned in closer to better study my trembling form, those blank orbs seemed to glint with a power-hungry shine.

He waited for me to speak, apparently expecting me to spill my guts about Gaara the second I opened my mouth, but I had suddenly found myself in a dilemma. Sandaime-sama had told me that this whole mission, and all the information I gathered from it, was top secret. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about what I was doing, and was certainly not supposed to just hand out all of our enemy's quirks and secrets.

"I-I can't." The fear which gripped my throat and made my hands tremble was rightfully placed, for as soon as those words left my mouth, Sasuke's breathtaking eyes narrowed into cruel slits.

"Sakura, if you hold _any _loyalties towards that bastard sand-controller…" The threat hung in the air like a crushing weight - so tangible I feared I might suffocate should the Uchiha choose to drop such a burden on my shoulders.

"N-no! You don't understand… Hokage-sama said -"

"Hokage-sama is the leader of this village," he interrupted, his smooth voice more threatening than any amount of yelling. "…and should have enough common sense to share any vital information with his shinobi."

Something was wrong. This wasn't the Sasuke that I knew; this wasn't the Sasuke that I loved! This red-eyed shinobi standing before me was a cold, calculating killer; terribly frightening in his power-hungry ways.

And as his body leaned closer to mine, I flinched backwards into the couch, just wanting to get away from the boy above me.

"Sasuke-kun… Y-you're s-scaring me…" I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, expecting to see a bloodthirsty grin much like Gaara's plastered on his face, but was surprised to see a completely empty expression marring his features.

"What do you want, Sakura?" he asked coldly, and the red from his eyes faded back to their natural black.

Before I could answer, he engulfed me with his slightly larger body, and wrapped me in his arms, crushing me to his chest in a stiff-backed embrace.

"Is this what you want?" he mumbled against my hair, his breath just as cold as the icy hands which were splayed across my lower back.

Everything about him was cold and rigid, and I found that this dream come true was nothing compared to…

_Compared to what?_ I interrupted myself angrily, trying to force away the thoughts that had surfaced in my head._ Compared to that red-headed freak's crushing hugs? Warmth isn't always comforting, and cold doesn't have to be distant._

But, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I couldn't deny the fact that Gaara had been so much more… _tender_. 

_It's only because he can't touch anyone else,_ I reminded myself, grasping for excuses even as my mind raced to a conclusion I would much rather put off. _It's only because he's desperate!_

Sasuke interrupted my mental struggle with his harsh words.

"You're nothing to me, unless you give me what I want."

And, without further ado, I was flung against the couch so roughly my head snapped back in a uncomfortable manner, and I was sure I would feel the affects of such whiplash in the morning. Looking up, I found that Sasuke had left, and that the chill which accompanied his presence hadn't deemed it necessary to depart as well.

Breathing deeply, I tried my hardest to calm myself, and when that didn't work, I decided that forcing myself to do a few menial tasks would take my mind off the terror that threatened to overtake me.

Trudging upstairs, I willed my shaky hands to begin packing for the mission tomorrow, but no matter what I did, I couldn't stop my racing thoughts from replaying tonight's events over and over inside my head.

I would blame Sasuke, later, for my troubles; for, in my inattentiveness, I had forgotten to pack the most important of my belongings.

* * *

_Hmmm... I wonder if you can figure out what she forgot to pack? Funny, how one little mishap can change the course of a life... ;-)_

_The "Dogwood Winter" I had mentioned is real... at least where I live. It's actually freezing where I am right now, and this little fact played well into the story's plotline, so I decided to add it._

_Here we see the parallels between Sasuke and Gaara's nature, and how Sakura is slowly beginning to notice, as well._

_Oh, and in the conversation between the Sand Sibs, I had originally planned to add in a little thing about how Gaara thought reproduction happened asexually...0.o ... but couldn't find a place to fit it in. Don't worry, though. I plan to stick that little idea in this story at some point in time. ;-)_

_Happy Easter, everyone!_


	27. Of Clumsy Mishaps and Warm Embraces

_Yes, this chapter is shorter, but I have an excuse! After thinking about it for a while, I realized that for my next little plot development to run more smoothly, it would have to be told in Sakura's point of view. But I had alrady written what is below, and liked it too much to trash it. So, instead of advancing their relationship in one giant leap and bound, I added in this chapter to smooth out the transition from hate to tolerance. So, basically, this is a filler chapter, though it isn't completely useless. I added some fluff for your enjoyment! So, without further ado, here is chapter 26!_

_- Kodu_

**Note:** I just realized that this story is going to end up being a huge, novel-length fiction. I'm just _now_ getting to the point where Sakura and Gaara can believably fall for each other, and I have so many little things planned that I want to add to the story once we move past that point! I _may_ have to end up doing a sequal or something, since there are a lot of things I can't touch on, solely because of their age factors. You don't mind, do you? ;-)

_Thanks for the amazing reviews, everyone! **47** for **one** chapter!!_

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* * *

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**26**

**- Sakura -**

I tried to forget about Sasuke - I truly did -, but every time I tilted my head backwards, a sharp pain would shoot up the base of my neck, and I was reminded of the Uchiha's harsh treatment of me the night before. As I leaned against the fence leading towards Konoha's main gates - waiting patiently for the Sand Shinobi -, I couldn't help but notice that my lazy stance matched that of Shikamaru's, and that Hinata looked exceptionally nervous today.

"So…" I began, still feeling a little awkward with talking to them so openly. Sure, I had known them all my life, and we had just recently graduated from the Academy together, but I had never made the attempt to speak to them except on occasion. Now, as I grasped desperately for something comfortable to say, I regretted how my focus had stayed on only one or two people throughout my younger life.

Hinata, seeming to sense my unease, picked up the slack.

"What do you plan on doing today?" she asked in her sweet, timid voice.

Relieved, I gave her a grateful smile before answering. "Well, scouting, of course. But hopefully we'll be able to find a better campsite when we reach the marker. Last time, we…" Well, technically, it had been _'I,' _for Gaara always stalked off when I settled in for the night. " - had slept out in the open. The weather looks like it might act up, though, so it would probably be best to find some kind of shelter."

The milky-eyed girl nodded in agreement, and I found my eyes trailing upwards to the darkened sky above. Today, a cold, hazy atmosphere hung above the inhabitants of Hidden Leaf, and the world seemed to have been shrouded in a veil of unending grayness. It looked as if it could rain any moment, though with the dramatic drop in temperature, I wouldn't be surprised if it started snowing instead.

Just as the other Leaf genin and I began to shift around impatiently, the Sand Shinobi seemingly materialized out of the mist of early morning, and made their way towards us.

"What's up?" said a rather cheery Kankuro, and I wondered at how somehow could be so happy in the morning.

"Finally," mumbled Shikamaru as Temari swept past me with a grin, the spark in her eyes telling me she knew something I didn't know. I was a little unnerved at that fact, and couldn't help but wonder what the blonde-haired shinobi was thinking about.

Though, my thoughts soon trailed towards the silent red-head that stalked towards me with a lazy gate. He seemed more passive than usual, today, and those piercing blue eyes weren't glaring into my very soul.

_Strange, _I thought, noticing how he kept his distance from me; his chilling eyes softened to a state of numb unawareness. _How, when the weather is gloomy, Gaara could be considered almost 'happy'. Well, by his standards, at least._

I broke my train of thought before I could question where I got off assuming I _knew_ the red-head's standards, and instead nodded curtly to him - an action he deigned to ignore.

A brittle wind picked up, and I shivered inadvertently, wrapping the thin red jacket I had donned that morning more tightly around my frame. I hadn't thought it would be this cold when I had chosen an outfit earlier, and now I regretted having picked the smaller jacket which matched my short-sleeved outfit, instead of the off-green coat which would have been infinitely warmer. Sure, the coat didn't go with anything I wore today, but right now - as I stood in the midst of a chilling cold front with nothing but a paper-thin jacket covering a paper-thin shirt to block me from the harsh winter winds -, I found that vanity was overrated.

"Are we ready?" asked a lazy Shikamaru, and he was moving towards Konoha's main gates before anyone could say otherwise.

Walking made things worse, as the light pink capris I wore did nothing to cover my numbing ankles.

_And, curse them all,_ I thought, trudging behind the group in a bitter state of mind._ Not one of them even notices!_

Before we could disperse into separate teams, Temari waved me over to her, giving the Nara boy a look that clearly stated, 'Leave us alone.' As I passed him on my way towards the Sand kunoichi, I could clearly make out the words 'Women,' and 'Troublesome' mumbled under his breath.

Stifling the giggle tickling my throat, I turned to the blonde-haired shinobi, and tilted my head to the side in a questioning manner.

"Be easy on Gaara today," she stated bluntly, ignoring all formalities and cutting to the chase rather quickly.

"What?" I asked, confused at her request - or, rather, _demand_, since Temari didn't seem like the kind of person one took lightly.

There was that gleam of something mischievous in her eyes again - a look which put me ill at ease -, but she only answered with a vague statement.

"You'll see…" And with that, she stalked past me to stand beside a rather sour looking Shikamaru.

"Took you long enough," he mumbled, arms crossed, though by the tone of his voice, I could tell her wasn't truly angry.

Gaara walked up to me a moment later, seemingly studying me under hooded eyes, though his gaze remained impassive. The look he gave me frightened me to unimaginable degrees. Not because it was chilling, or calculating, but because it was calm, and _warm_.

After the incident with Sasuke last night, I would have given anything to feel rejection or coldness from the red-head before me. I wanted to confirm that he could be just as harsh as the Uchiha. I wanted to prove that his little bouts of tenderness - if you could even call it that - meant nothing.

But I couldn't do such a thing when he was standing before me, acting in a way that I had never seen him act before.

Sabaku no Gaara, the monster that haunted my dreams with death and something infinitely darker, was acting _normal_.

"Ready?" he grated out in his naturally gruff voice, and I felt something other than fear spike down my spine and warm my numbing body.

Nodding dumbly, I absentmindedly waved goodbye to the others, and set off into the forest with my partner. This time, he traveled beside me, though for once I would have been glad for his body to break the wind which chilled my being even further. I glanced to the boy at my left to find that he, too, seemed uncomfortable with the cold, and realized that he probably wasn't used to such weather changes - him being from the desert, and all.

"Gaara?" I asked, and he stopped his movements on the next tree limb we alighted on. Those creepy black-rimmed eyes turned to me, but no matter how much such darkness frightened me, I couldn't help but notice the sanity which shined in their depths.

Even Sasuke's eyes, no matter how intelligent, seemed to glint with an unmistakable madness born solely from his power-hungry nature.

Though, I couldn't really contrast the two on such an aspect. More often than not, I had seen an even more dangerous insanity etched onto the features of the sand-controller before me. It seemed he could turn his inner switch from hot to cold, calm to life-threatening, in the blink of the eye - and did such a thing without hesitation.

"Can we walk below, instead?" I knew he didn't need an explanation, but I babbled on anyways. "It's just really cold, and the tree trunks should be able to break the wind, and what I'm wearing isn't nearly enough to keep me warm, and -"

"Yes," he cut in, slight agitation marring his otherwise passive features. It seemed my ranting had struck a chord of annoyance in his being, and I was a little surprised I could affect him in such a way.

We jumped down from the canopy above, and walked side-by-side through the forest below. The going was much slower this way, but the wind had died down dramatically with the tree trunks blocking its path. The weather was much more bearable, though I found that I still shivered from time to time, unable to suppress the deep-rooted chill that had settled into my bones.

This bitter cold reminded me of Sasuke, and how his frightening actions had stayed with me all through the night. I was still contemplating how to handle this situation, and couldn't make up my mind on what to do. What my teammate had said made sense. If Sarutobi-sama truly cared about Konoha, he would be willing to share such vital information with the other shinobi. On the other hand, the Hokage was a wise man, and, more likely than not, had already formulated a plan on how to deal with the rebelling Sand Shinobi.

Was it treason to disregard the Sandaime's orders? Was it heartless to disregard Sasuke's request?

If I spilled everything I learned about Gaara to my teammate… was I compromising my country's safety?

If I kept such secrets between the Hokage and myself… was I compromising my friendship with Sasuke?

With such questions swirling through my head, I was completely lost to the world around me, until I stumbled rather ungracefully over a rock blocking my path, and was forced to thrust my arms outward to stop myself from tumbling forward.

The problem, though, was that the only thing to keep me from diving head-first into the river before me, was empty air, and such air did little to break my fall.

With a startled yelp, I fell into the shallow path of water; jumping out just as quickly to find a rather disinterested red-head staring at me in feigned annoyance. I could see the amusement sparkle in his eyes, and knew he wasn't truly angry.

"I tried warning you," he mocked, and for a moment I was surprised he would actually tease me.

I didn't remember hearing his voice, but apparently 'lost to the world' meant 'lost to Gaara,' as well.

"You could have stopped me!" I accused, jerking off my soaking wet jacket before it seeped into my relatively drier clothes.

His mood changed dramatically, then, and he answered with a dark, "You told me not to," before turning around and stalking off in the other direction.

As I trailed behind him, I couldn't help but question his words.

What does he mean by tha -… Oh.

The answer came to me immediately, and soon my own words came hurling back towards me.

"Stay away from me, you monster!"

The words which, before, had seemed quite appropriate, now left a bitter taste in my mouth. It was odd, to think that such an untouchable boy could be hurt by anything, but my biting remark had obviously stayed with him, even with the small passage of time.

I felt the sudden urge to make it up to him, somehow, and had the inexplicable feeling that, if I didn't, I would never learn anything about him. Though the thought of my mission was a constant pressure in the back of my head, I found that this course of action was for mine - and his - own benefit.

Besides, my conscious wouldn't leave me alone until I had settled this matter.

"Gaara?" I questioned, still trailing behind the other in a hesitant manner.

He paused for a brief moment, but continued on soon after, though his pace had slowed dramatically. Taking this chance, I caught up to the red-head, and found that the sidelong gaze he gave me made all words disappear from my throat. I had wanted to apologize, I had wanted to beg for forgiveness, but I found that mere excuses would be lacking, and that I would need to do something more to prove myself to him.

Watching him carefully, I inched my hand forward until my fingers lightly grazed his own.

He stopped then, and the unmistakable hitch in his breath was painfully obvious. Slowly, the sand-controller turned to me, watching with suspicious eyes as I grasped his hand more firmly.

Moving in closer to him, I saw the look of awe mirrored in his gaze as I lifted his arm to wrap it around my own shoulders.

"I'm cold," I stated, by way of explanation, and it was the truth. This small act, though, was meant to redeem myself in his eyes.

_I just need his trust,_ I thought as his warmth seeped into my chilled skin. _This is for the mission, and nothing else. I don't even like this Gaara character. This is for the mission._

His arm wrapped more firmly around me, and I could tell he was straining to not crush me fully against his body. Standing this close - and without the looming sense of dread suffocating my mind - I saw that the boy had a rather slight frame, and didn't have many muscles for a shinobi. Though, it wasn't like he needed them, what with an ultimate defense system, and all. It struck me as funny, too, how I was taller than the red-head, and I suddenly had to stifle the laughter trying to edge its way out of my throat. To think, such a small boy could terrify me!

The scratchy growl which escaped his throat reminded me of just how dangerous he could be - muscle or no muscle - and the grip on my body tightened ever so slightly as we walked on.

He didn't question my motives, and for that I was infinitely grateful, for I wasn't entirely sure what I would tell him otherwise. The cold wind picked up slightly as we broke through the dense forest to stand before the tiny clearing we had dubbed out campsite but a few days ago.

Gaara took his arm from around me as I stiffly shifted the straps to my pack which rested on my shoulders. Dropping the rather heavy weight onto the ground next to the crimson stake, I found that without such warmth resting on my back, I was even colder than before.

The red-head watched me carefully, and as I turned to face him again, he tipped his head to the side questioningly

I nodded once, and when he refused to move, advanced on him until I was standing just before his glowering gaze. Touching the back of his hand with a hesitant finger, I glanced up into his eyes to see such intensity, my breath caught in my throat.

Without waiting for me to ask, he pulled me to him in one fluid movement, wrapping his arms around me to rub at the small of my back.

"Cold?" he mumbled against my neck, and the heat of his breath made my eyes flutter close.

Sure, I was frightened beyond belief of the boy holding me now, but I couldn't deny the fact that he was deliciously warm. And when my body was cold enough to incite the first stages of hypothermia, I was all too willing to openly welcome any bit of heat into the recesses of my body.

I would probably regret my actions later, but right now - with the wind whipping harshly against my freezing form - I didn't really care.

Slowly, carefully, I wrapped my arms around the warm boy in front of me, returning Gaara's embrace.

* * *

_- Gaara -_

_She's touching me._

I had already held the girl against me several times, but I found that this particular embrace had intensified a hundred fold.

She's willingly touching me.

I was in silent awe as the kunoichi wrapped her arms around my own body, and couldn't help but shudder at the contact. No one had ever hugged me before, and I found that such an action was nearly as fulfilling as a kiss.

Earlier, when the girl had taken the initiative and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, I had silently thanked Temari and Kankuro for their advice last night. Just toning down my usual aloof bitterness had made the girl more comfortable around me.

Right now, as she embraced me fully with only the slightest hint of fear taunting my senses, I silently thanked God above for the divine favor I had suddenly found myself in.

My body shook with the intensity of feeling I received, and I gently tugged the girl towards me.

_Tenderness,_ I thought, forcing myself to control this need for contact. _Protection… safety…_

Nuzzling her neck, I inhaled her scent and ran my nose along the underside of her jaw. Shukaku was growing restless at the proximity of the girl before me, and the sand inside my gourd shifted rather impatiently.

**'Her blood smells so sweet…'** he taunted, and I stifled the agitated growl which threatened to escape my throat.

_Her touch feels much better,_ I countered, trying to rid all traces of bloodlust from my mind. I grew savage when I craved such life-giving liquid, and though I was fairly certain I wouldn't kill the girl, I didn't want to frighten her back into hating me.

Besides, this new development was rather intriguing, and it wouldn't do to end such progress in such an abrupt manner.

"G-Gaara…" she stated nervously, and I pulled back just enough to look into her eyes.

She was clearly frightened now, yet still held onto me as a shield from the coldness around us.

"Please… don't do that."

I didn't understand what she meant, but her next words clarified her words.

"I… I don't like you… like that."

She thought I _liked _her? The idea made me chuckle slightly, but I nodded once and buried my head back into the warmth of her neck. Sure, my actions were far from 'friendly,' but they had little to do with my emotions, or how I felt. In all honesty, I was a hollow beast, and very little could actually get a rise out of my emotions. Anger had just recently settled into the pit of my stomach, as the Uchiha had blatantly threatened what was _mine_; and annoyance was a common factor in my life.

But like?

It wasn't love, but lead up to it, and was therefore a threat.

I couldn't afford to like someone. I couldn't chance falling for the girl held in my embrace right now. All I could do was _feel_.

She started tugging away from me slightly, and I was tempted to trap the girl in my arms once again, but resisted the urge as it would surely shatter all the progress I had made so far.

Breaking free from my embrace, the Haruno girl rubbed her hands together slightly, and glanced at me for a moment, a blush tinting her pale cheeks. I found the slight shade of pink rather endearing, and couldn't help but step a little closer to the kunoichi before me. She didn't retreat, and for that I was thankful.

"Do you… uh… think we should get started?" she asked, and I realized that we had already wasted a bit of time by standing around.

Reluctantly, I nodded in agreement, a little bitter that our 'hug' couldn't last. What kept me going, though, was the prospect of things to come; for, if the girl truly was growing accustomed to my presence, then maybe it wouldn't be too hard to persuade her to incite such contact more often?

Planting this idea firmly in my mind, I set off in an eastward direction, allowing the girl to match my pace as we began our mission.

* * *

_It snowed today... It freaking **snowed**, and it's the middle of **April**! Ah, well... it really set the mood for this chapter, and chapters to come._

_If you haven't already noticed before, I seem to have a fascination with sunsets and sunrises in this story. That's because I have such a fixation in real life. Today's was just... magnificent! As the day moved on, it finally stopped snowing, and as twilight fell, the broken up clouds turned the most beautiful shades of dark blue, light blue, and purple. In each break between the clouds, you could see that the sky was a shade of hazy green-yellow, and rays of sunlight filtered down to light up the earth below. Some of the clouds were a darker blue-gray, as if they still held the promise of snow in them, while most of those nearer to the horizen were outlined with golden sunlight. If you just look at the sky from time to time, you'll understand my appreciation for it. It's so vast... and endless... and beautiful..._

_Alright, stepping off my soapbox now... I really hope you liked this chapter, even if the interaction between Gaara and Sakura seemed a little rushed!_

_I do appreciate all your reviews (Remember, constructive criticism is welcome!), and hope you give me your feedback for this chapter, as well!_

_-Kodu_


	28. Of Moonlit Conversations

_I know, I'm late... again! But, for once, I have a good excuse! My Ineternet was down for 3 days, and I just got it back Tuesday (Tuesday being one of the busiest days of the week for me.). So, I typed out this chapter as fast as I could, today, Wednesday. Right now, it's about 20 minutes 'till Thursday, so I think I've made good time... all things considered. This chapter was probably the hardest to start, and I ended up waiting until the last minute to type it out. I mean, I had started out with one thing, then decided I didn't like the turn I was taking, scrapped a few rough drafts, had to add in some more dialogue... All in all, this was pretty hard to write. But once I got started, I absolutely could not stop! Just goes to show: no matter how much you struggle in the beginning, if you keep working hard, things will work out for the better._

_- Kodu_

**Note:** Check out my livejournal ( http:// kodukadvakch . livejournal . com ), for some spoilers and other random tidbits of things I write! Also, in case you haven't noticed, FF . net's review/PM e-mail alerts have been freaking out for a little while now. That means if you PM me, I'm not ignoring you, I just haven't gotten your message yet. Same goes for me. If I reply to a review, it may be a while before you get it... So if you're reading chapter 32 and end up getting a message from me waaaaay back from chapter 27, don't be surprised.

_Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and advice! I've absolutely loved reading what you think!_

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**27**

**- Sakura -**

'He's watching you…' My Inner self found it amusing to taunt me and my embarrassment around Gaara. Ever since our little embrace, I had started to blush with every glance he tossed my way.

A swarm of butterflies rose in my stomach every time we made eye contact, and I found it impossible to hold his gaze for long. He traveled closer to me, now, and when his arm brushed innocently against mine, or when his hand would 'accidentally' bump my own, I knew he was doing these things on purpose. It was nerve-wracking to realize that these touches, rather than disgust me, only made me blush.

_Idiot,_ I chided myself, inwardly scowling when another brush of fingers set my face aflame once again._ I'm acting like a little school girl around her crush. This is a mission… a mission!_

This mantra was repeated over and over in my head, but it still didn't help the fact that I was growing increasingly uncomfortable in the red-head's presence - and not necessarily in a bad way, either.

It didn't help that the temperature seemed to drop with each passing moment, and every brush of contact sent a jolt of warmth up my body.

He stopped suddenly, and I nearly tripped over my own feet trying to avoid running into him.

'Hey, we're _running _here, idiot!' shouted Inner Sakura, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from stating such a thing out loud.

"You're shivering."

His voice startled me, for, after hours of complete silence, I had grown accustomed to the quite which had settled around us.

_Us._

I gulped at the word, and couldn't help but outwardly flinch.

_No, no, no!_ I repeated over in my head, as if this mantra could keep my analytical brain from deciphering what I meant by saying 'us' instead of 'me and him,' or even, 'my partner and I.'

This was Sabaku no Gaara we were talking about. This wasn't just some genius nin. This wasn't just some prodigy child. This was a bloodthirsty monster; the very one suspected of being a tool for Konoha's demise.

There was no 'us' in this partnership. Hell, there wasn't even a _partnership _in this partnership! We were merely two people brought together by dumb chance. We weren't two pieces of a puzzle; we were a means to an end. There was no sense in grouping him and I together as 'us.' We weren't an 'us.' If anything, we were probably the two most distant partners a group of shinobi had ever seen. I knew nothing about him, he knew nothing about me, and we were both set and determined to keep it that way.

It wasn't until just then that I realized how many times I had said 'we.'

Arh! Can't I go one minute without grouping us together like that?

'…You did it again…' My inner self commented.

…Crap…

I lifted my hand to slap myself in the forehead - hey, the target was big enough. I might as well put it to good use! -, when a soft tendril of sand snaked around my arm to stop me.

Surprised at how smooth the otherwise grainy substance had become, I snapped my head upwards to stare at the red-head questioningly.

"Come,' he stated rather bluntly, the swirl of sand brushing against my skin in what was undoubtedly a caress.

Unnerved - both by the danger I was in, and the hideous smell coming from the boy's weapon of choice -, I tried breaking free, but only succeeded in causing the sand to wrap around me more tightly.

"I said 'Come.'" This time, his voice held a slight edge to it, and by the look in his eyes, I knew right now was not the time to mess with him.

Nodding dumbly - as if giving my consent would make any difference! - I stepped nervously towards my captor, the red-head grunting in approval, though the soft sand continued to caress my arm.

It paused when I was right before him, as if waiting for something, and I willed my lowered head to lift up and meet the others' gaze - if but a little timidly.

He was watching me expectantly, and I couldn't help but grow angry at the agitated look on his face.

'We can't read minds, you idiot!' shouted Inner Sakura, and I was in full agreement with her.

A slight huff of annoyance left the sand-controller's lips, and with a slow assuredness, he held out his arms.

Briefly, I wondered at the gracefulness of such a move - how his hands seemed to glide upwards with relative ease, and how his slight muscles lifted with the fluidity of water -, but couldn't think for long, as his scratchy voice interrupted my reveries.

"You're cold. Come here."

Oh.

I get it now.

It was comical really, to think that the intimidating boy would go through such lengths just to receive a simple hug.

Though, if the rumors were true, and he didn't have the ability to touch others, then it was completely understandable that he would crave this contact, while at the same time be nervous about receiving it.

He watched me expectantly, with the gaze of someone used to getting their way, and for a second I wondered at what he might do if I were to deny him.

The sand tightened, and my imagination went wild.

_Well,_ I thought while stepping forward lightly. _I'm not up for finding out just how dangerous Mr. Sand Man here can be._

I didn't realize how cold I had been until I was wrapped up in the other's embrace. His heat surrounded me like a furnace, and I sighed into his shirt, settling my arms between his back and the gourd he carried.

I heard him sigh, too, and wasn't nearly surprised as I should have been when he tugged me further into his embrace.

We stayed like this for a little while longer, when the red-head released me and took an almost tentative step back.

"It's getting dark," he whispered, glancing up at the sky.

I looked around me to find his words true. Night had crept up on us, and I was surprised to see that we were bathed in the lengthening shadows of dawn.

"We should head back," I stated, and glanced towards the other to find him already walking in the direction we had come.

Flabbergasted that he would leave me behind so easily, I had to force myself not to shout out a scathing remark and instead settled with catching up to the rather slow-paced boy.

With the lingered remnants of his warmth fading from my body, I couldn't help but shiver at the extreme cold which settled onto my skin.

This would be a long night.

::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::

_It has to be here!_

I shifted the various items in my pack uneasily, going through it for the fourth time, checking over the items in my head.

_Toothbrush, check. Hairbrush, check. Extra clothes, check. Poison, check._

When this go around had me empty handed, again, I began to panic.

_Crap! Don't tell me…!_

I didn't want to think about it, and instead began to pull out the various items I had brought with me, tossing them carelessly around my body in random little piles.

_No, no, no! This can't be happening!_

When everything was emptied from my bag, and I still couldn't find what I was looking for, I knew that I was undoubtedly _screwed_.

It was cold - colder than any other Dogwood winter I had suffered through - and, like the amateur shinobi that I was, I had forgotten my sleeping bag.

'Bring an extra blanket,' Hinata had said. Ironic, that I would ignore the girl's advice - _now_, of all times.

By the time we had reached our campsite, darkness had settled around us, and it was too late to go searching the woods for kindling for a campfire. I had planned on cuddling up into my bag, trying to keep as warm as possible, but now it seemed I would be lucky to survive the night without freezing my tail off.

Of course, I would forget such an important item on _the coldest night Konoha had ever seen._

I blamed Sasuke, really. If he hadn't been so…so… _reality-shattering _last night, I would never have been too stunned to properly think while packing.

I glanced up to find Gaara seated on his usual boulder, seemingly unfazed by the drop in temperature around him.

_He has to be freezing,_ I thought, watching him bitterly. _I mean, come on! He's from the desert!_

And then a thought struck me.

Shikamaru and Hinata had said that their teammates had set up separate camps from their own. If that was true - and with the additional fact that I had yet to see the red-head sleep anywhere near to me -, then it would make sense if he had a camp of his own.

And if he had his own campsite, then that meant that maybe, just maybe, he would have a spare blanket or sleeping bag I would use.

Well, it was worth a shot, anyways…

"Gaara," I called, lifting up from my spot near the crimson stake.

He didn't reply, and before I even had time to be agitated with him, I walked up behind the boy and stared at his back.

After a few more minutes of staring, the other shifted uncomfortably, and I inwardly celebrated at my ability to affect his emotionless self.

"What do you want?" The monotonous tone to his voice did nothing to betray his emotions - assuming he actually _had _emotions… - and I found myself fidgeting under the cool blue gaze he turned to me.

His eyes seemed to glow by the light of the moon, and the marks around them darkened considerably. The paleness of his skin was a striking contrast to the blackness which surrounded both our forms, and with the night sky a backdrop to his passive gaze, I found myself comparing his eyes to the stars which twinkled in the vastness beyond. The fiery locks which adorned his head by day had turned an almost endearing shade of dark, ruddy brown, and I had the sudden urge to ruffle the hair atop his head.

For once, I didn't try stopping my thoughts from the turn they had taken, and instead indulged in it.

_Wouldn't it be nice,_ I mused, taking a few extra moments to familiarize myself with the calmness of his features._ If someone held me like him, yet loved me like I've never been loved before?_

Shaking my head and sighing inaudibly, I took a hesitant step forward, lowing my eyes to the ground.

"I… uh… I forgot my sleeping bag, and I was wondering if you have a spare I can borrow?"

I glanced up to find him looking at me as if I had grown an extra head.

Awkwardly, I pressed forward.

"Well, I mean, could you just check your other campsite to see -"

"I don't have another campsite," he cut off, and by the tone of his voice I knew that, had he eyebrows, one would have been raised.

"Oh," I stated rather dumbly, shocked for a moment. In my un-tactfulness, I rambled on. "Well why don't I ever see you sleep, then?"

He didn't have an answer for this, and instead turned away, directing his gaze to the full moon hanging lazily in the sky.

After fidgeting for several more minutes, I spoke up again.

"Well, uh… _do _you have something I can borrow?" Was that hope in my voice? Ah, well. It didn't matter, anyways. My hopes were shattered soon enough.

"No."

"Oh." Crap, I hated repeating myself, and this whole 'acting like a fumbling idiot' thing was getting on my _own _nerves!

If the temperature had dropped several degrees since I had started my little conversation with the red-head, it became blatantly obvious the moment I stepped back into the center of the clearing. Goosebumps rose on my flesh, and I continuously rubbed my arms, as if this would help heat my entire body.

_I'm not getting any sleep tonight, am I?_ I thought dejectedly, settling myself down on the hard ground below. The grass was colder than the open air, and I jumped back up as soon as my bare ankles had touched it, shivering even more, if that were possible.

"Great," I breathed, pacing back and forth to try and warm my numbing body. "Death by hypothermia was definitely not on my 'to do' list."

I didn't stop walking back and forth until I felt a set of eyes piercing my back. I turned around slowly, meeting the red-head's silent glare with a fleeting coolness of my own.

It was irrational, really, but a part of me blamed him for not having a spare blanket of his own to share with me.

I blanched, while my inner side cackled.

_Not 'share'! Give! I meant 'give'!_ I corrected inwardly, though Inner Sakura was already having a hay-day with my little slip-up.

'Cozying up to him, eh?' she mocked, and I let my anger show outwardly.

_No! You know what I meant!_

'Yeah,' she stated evenly, then in a sly tone, 'But do you?'

_What's that supposed to mean!?_

But she didn't answer, and with all my being I just wanted to pull out my hair and rant and scream at the idiot that was my subconscious.

_What ever happened to the whole 'angel, devil' deal, huh? Why did I get stuck with you!_

Furious now, I was ready to go stomping off into the woods when the gaze of the red-head stopped me.

He had watched the entire exchange with an intrigued look on his face, and instead of laughing at me or accusing me of being crazy, he merely smirked.

True, in this light, and in these circumstances, that small lift to the lips was horribly cute, but I would never admit that to his face - or to my inner self, for that matter.

_He's not calling me a freak,_ I thought bemusedly. _I guess he's just glad he's found someone half as crazy as himself._

He stayed in that position - half turned towards me, half turned towards the moon - for several moments, and without lifting a finger, somehow communicated with his eyes that he wanted me to go to him.

I thought it strange how he could practically talk with his eyes… or maybe I had just gotten used to reading him? No matter the case, I was walking to him before I could even think to do otherwise.

"You're cold," he stated, using the same words from earlier, only this time the edge to his voice was completely gone.

Was it just me, or did he seem… happier - or, if not that, at least _calmer _- in the moonlight?

Without another word, he held out his arms to me, and my breath hitched at the childish innocence of the act. Here was a boy, so young and so completely ignorant of what was socially proper, silently demanding an embrace from the only person would could give it to him. It was adorable, in a sense, and completely heart wrenching, in another.

The fact that he was practically telling me to sit in his lap broke the sentimental value of the moment.

When I made no move to follow through with his plan, he retracted his arms and instead crossed them over his chest.

"Do you _want_ to die?" he asked casually, and I couldn't tell if me meant by hypothermia, or by his own hands.

I was freaked out, to put it lightly.

It was as if I were staring into the gaping mouth of a monstrous beast, and the only way for me to escape was to stay on that creature's good side. So, I treated this situation much like I would have treated one concerning an angry animal.

Forcing the hitch to leave my throat, and the stutter out of my voice, I replied as calmly as I could, "No one wants to die."

He gave me a curious look before turning his attention back to the stars.

"I do."

The admittance was shocking, and I couldn't help but openly gape at what he had just said. Watching him rather dumbly, I noticed that he shifted over a little more, leaving just enough room on the boulder for me to join him.

Not one to pass up such a chance - I mean, honestly, I could count the number of time's this boy had started a conversation with me on one hand! -, I settled in beside him, and was instantly wary of the fact that his body heat was close enough to keep me relatively warm.

"Why?"

He didn't answer, and I realized that I had said the wrong thing.

A few minutes passed, neither of us opening our mouths, before I finally settled on something to say.

"Sometimes, people use death as a means to an end… and… sometimes, it's just because they're too afraid to keep living."

He shifted again, this time leaning forward and resting his arms against his knees.

For a while, he remained silent, and I was beginning to wonder if I had messed up once again, when his scratchy voice broke the quiet.

"Sometimes, people are just curious, and wonder if nonexistence is a more suitable way to live."

That was rather…deep.

A part of me was surprised the red-head had the capacity to think in such a way, and another part of me had expected as much. Though, I was still a little shocked. After all, it actually took me several moments to come up with a decent reply - something none of my other friends had yet to accomplish.

"I doubt anything in this life would cause someone to willingly seek out death just because they are curious."

This time, he actually turned to me, and the answer which escaped his lips was almost instantaneous.

"What about living death?"

Crinkling my brow, I tipped my head to the side in silent question. "Pardon?"

Without taking his gaze off me, he replied with a series of words that chilled me to the core.

"What is the definition of life? The want of others? The need for acceptance? The mere act of breathing? To some, existence is not defined by manmade standards. To some, it is fulfilling their own desires, even if it means shutting themselves off from the rest of humanity, making them dead to those around them."

I had no doubt who this 'some' was, but as the red-head turned away from me once more, I couldn't help but wonder at what he had said.

"They are breathing, yet they are not alive." I finished his statement for him, and the look he gave me was something I had never before seen in my entire life. It wasn't quite admiration, but it was close.

Suddenly, I became hyperaware of the coldness around me, and shivered as a breeze blew past. If I didn't find warmth soon, I was certain I would freeze my butt off. Glancing towards the sand-controller, then down at the boulder, then back at the boy again, I stiffly decided that I rather liked my butt, and chose that moment to slide indiscreetly closer to the other.

Indiscreetly, apparently, wasn't a word you could use when it concerned Gaara, for the second I moved, his eyes were on me once again, and it became infinitely harder to go through with what I had planned. Forcing back the lump in my throat, I shifted the remaining three inches towards the red-head, and nearly melted at the heat which warmed the side of my body.

He stiffened the second I touched him, though, and for an agonizingly painful minute, I feared he might reject me for rejecting him earlier.

My fears were shattered when a welcoming arm was slung around my shoulders, and my head was pulled down to come in contact with the soft fabric of his shirt.

"Cold?" he murmered softly, and I could detect a hint of amusement in his voice.

_Good,_ I thought, breathing a silent sigh of relief. I could have sworn he would be furious with me.

In a flash of clarity, the Sandaime's words came back to me, and made complete sense. This boy craved my touch, and I could use that to my advantage! He needed contact - _my_ contact -, and…and…

And the way he lightly traced my left arm with his fingers, ghosting across my flesh with a tenderness no one had ever shown before, was deliciously distracting.

No! Mission, mission, mission!

But it was _hard_ to think about such things, when all I wanted to do was cuddle deeper into the warmth Gaara provided. And it only got harder, as my eyes began to droop and darkness began to blur the edges of my vision.

"G'night," I mumbled sleepily before drifting off into the wonderful world of unconsciousness.

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- Gaara -

It felt nice, to have her laying against me like that, and I decided that I would rather like her to do such a thing again. She was asleep in minutes, and a part of me was undeniably angry at her for having the ability to do something I couldn't. Another part, though, liked watching the gentle rise and fall of her stomach, and was intrigued by the little noises she made from time to time.

You're falling for her.

The voice which interrupted my thoughts sounded amused.

I don't even know what that means.

And I didn't.

You're an idiot.

You're a demon doomed to spend eternity in hell when I die.

The splitting headache which pierced my skull warned me that that had been the wrong thing to say.

"Stop that," I growled, clutching at my head in pain. True, I usually never spoke to my demon aloud, but in the silence of the night, or when I was left alone to my own thoughts, I found it much easier to just answer the Tanuki verbally. It helped, too, when Shukaku punished me for saying something wrong, or forced his cravings into my very being.

I'm hungry.

"Not now." I didn't want to hunt. I didn't want to move from my position, because I might chance waking the kunoichi in my arms, and for the first time in a long time, I was comfortable.

You haven't existed for over a week.

"I've existed… in a different way…" He sounded angry at that, and I found that the ache intensified. My senses heightened, making me even more aware of the girl in my arms - of the feel of her soft skin against my fingers, the sound of her racing pulse, the smell of her blood…

"Tomorrow," I grit out between clenched teeth. The desire to kill had been sparked into my soul, and I knew that until I quenched it, it would only get worse. "Tomorrow, I will satiate your needs."

**Good.** I could practically see the wicked grin undoubtedly plastered on the demon's face by the tone of his voice. **Make it a massacre…**

I merely grunted, and turned my focus back on the girl in my arms.

She mumbled something in her sleep, and shifted even closer to me, clutching at my shirt softly. Her nose snuggled into my chest, and as she began to relax even more, a single lithe leg wrapped around my thigh in a lazy manner.

_Yes,_ I thought, closing my eyes in ecstasy of her warmth._ I could get used to this.

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'Snuggled' is a very fun word. Go ahead, say it! _

I realized a couple of things while writing this chapter. One of those - probably one of the most vital things in advancing Gaara and Sakura's relationship - was that, for all their interaction, they never really talk much. So, I decided that it would probably be good to 'push' their friendship in the right direction by letting them discuss some matters that, in my opinion, seemed relevent enough.

Next chapter, we get to see Gaara in his 'element.' I just now realized that, for all the talk of him being a bloodthirsty monster, we have yet to see him kill anyone yet... Ah well, that should change... very soon.

Review please! And check out my livejournal account: http:// kodukadvakch . livejournal . com

'Snuggled' is a very fun word. Go ahead, say it! 'Snuggled' is a very fun word. Go ahead, say it! 

_- Kodu_


	29. Of Blood Ties

_Hmm, it's about 2 minutes until Thursday, so technically, I've kept within the 7-day guidelines. -pats self on back- Alright, moving on..._

_- Kodu_

**NOTE:** There is an amazing song by Skillet called "My Obsession" that fits prefectly with this story. When I heard it, I was like "Holy cow!". The gist of the lyrics are as follows: "Your touch, your ways, leave me dumb without reason. Your love, my cage, my prison so pleasing. I spend my days tangled in thoughts of you. Stuck in this place, resigned to be your fool. I thirst no longer. Drenching my soul. Pour out, like water. You're my only infatuation. Don't leave me stranded in my obsession. My purpose, my possession. Live and die in my obsession. Come down to me; don't ever say that it's over. I kiss your feet, worship the air you breathe. Your love, my gift, you go and I will follow. My dream, my wish, don't leave me here so helpless. Am I a lunatic? I'm going crazy. For just a word from, for just a touch from you." Look it up on Youtube to here the actual song; it's pretty good!

**WARNING:** This chapter has some very morbidly descriptive scenes near the end... and angst. Don't forget the angst.

_Darn my mistakes in the last chapter! Ah, well, once again, I loved hearing from you guys! Please tell me what you think of this chapter!_

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**28**

**- Sakura -**

I woke with a start.

The chill of early morning crept under my skin, freezing my bones into an icy oblivion. No sound was heard in the forest around, so I figured I must have risen in the quiet hours just before dawn. Blinking open my eyes, I found this fact to be true, as the darkness surrounding me stretched forth in an endless canvas of emptiness.

Yawning, I had the sudden urge to stretch, but the boulder at my back was cold enough to discourage this idea. For a moment, I wondered at how I had fallen asleep on a giant rock, of all things, when the memories of last night came rushing back to me.

Jerking upwards, I glanced to the left and right of me with wide eyes, fearing that the Gaara boy might have been angry at me for falling asleep on him, or _worse_…

The only thing that greeted my panic, though, was the empty clearing, and it had little to say to my fright.

I breathed a sigh of relief, taking a deep breath I had not realized I had been holding, but was soon overcome by this horrible sense of loneliness.

Where was Gaara?

"Hello…?" I called out, my hesitant echo the only sound to reply.

I slid off the boulder, finding that my numbing feet didn't support me as well as I wanted them to. I forced them to move, anyways, and wandered aimlessly around our little campsite, looking for any signs of life.

It was weird, because it seemed as if time itself stood still, waiting for me to make the next move before allowing the sun to show its face.

"Gaara…?" I tried again, this time a little louder, but still got no response.

I drifted to the edge of the woods, peering inside the shady darkness within to try and spot a sliver of red. True, I wasn't really expecting to find anything, but when two identical slits of crimson opened up right before my eyes, I nearly shrieked in shock.

The next breath I took sent a wave of chilled air down my throat and straight to my stomach. I felt sick, I felt like I was going to retch, and the coldness which coiled inside my belly made me clench at my stomach in a helpless gesture. It felt as if something was tightening around my middle, slowly squeezing the life out of me, while at the same time forcing the icy air down my throat.

"S-stop!" I chocked out, horrified at the desperate emotions welling inside of me. I was scared, because I had no idea what was happening to me.

Those twin orbs of crimson floated closer to me, and I watched with wide eyes as the figure behind them slowly faded into view.

"S-Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn."

He just stood there, arms crossed, as the pressure inside my body swelled to unimaginable degrees.

"Help me!" I cried, not beyond begging - because, quite frankly, I felt that he was my last hope.

He eyed me then, with those cold Sharingan eyes, and the pain swirling inside my stomach rose like a tide to engulf my heart. I felt like I was breaking, being chipped apart from the inside out, and my teammate was doing absolutely nothing to help me!

A sob escaped my throat.

Then another.

And another.

"W-why won't you… do anything!"

I was desperate now, yet completely unable to run from this pain. I guess it hurt even more to know that Sasuke, my teammate, my _love_, didn't even _care_.

And then an odd thought struck my mind, and before I could even consider it, I was shouting out another string of hopeful words.

"Gaara!" my voice broke, and the ice that was slowly creeping up the inside of my body came out of my throat in bloody chunks.

"G-Gaara!" Undeterred, I pressed on, pleading for someone, anyone, to just come and save me.

"Ga-"

A hand flew over my mouth before I could utter another syllable, and I glanced upwards to find the Uchiha glaring at me in a way that made me fear for my life.

"You're annoying," he hissed, those beautiful eyes of his hardening to stone.

I was about to mumble out an insult, when something wet and sticky fell onto my cheek, and I glanced at Sasuke's hand to see what it was.

Pure horror surged through my body as another drop of that sickening substance dripped lazily onto my skin.

Blood.

It was blood.

Screaming - the affect of it being muffled by Sasuke's bloody appendage - I tried to pull back, but found that the other's grip on my jaw was too tight.

"Who's going to save you, Sakura?" he whispered monotonously, then shook my head with angry force.

"Your precious village?" Another jerk to the head.

"That bastard sand-demon?" This time, he released his hold, allowing me a few moments to work my jaw back in place.

I could smell the smear of blood on my skin - taste the metallic flavor on my lips -, and had to hold on with everything within me to keep from throwing up then and there.

"Where's Gaara?" I finally gasped out after composing myself.

When I got no reply, I had to force myself to look up at Sasuke's features, and shivered at the disturbing smile pasted onto his face.

He glanced towards my jaw, at his hands, at his blood-stained shirt, then grinned even broader.

"Y-you… you didn't…"

The look on his face clearly stated that he _did_.

Uchiha Sasuke, genius shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village, had _killed _Sabaku no Gaara, the genius shinobi sent to _destroy _the Hidden Leaf Village.

I felt like a traitor when my stomach dropped with unnamable dread.

And, maybe this traitorous demeanor is what made Sasuke advance on me in a threatening manner?

I didn't move as he came closer, didn't flinch when he mixed Gaara's blood in the tresses of my hair, and barely made a sound when those crimson-stained fingers slowly wrapped around my wind pipe and tightened.

_Gaara's dead,_ I thought blankly, vaguely wondering how someone could kill such an obviously powerful boy._…And I'm going to die, too._

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't _breathe_, and the burning sensation I was supposed to feel in my throat was an adversely chilling tingle.

Oh my God. Sasuke's going to kill me…Oh my God, oh my god, ohmygod…

::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::

I woke with a start.

Only, this time, I was much more groggy than before.

A light breeze blew past, chilling my already shivering form, but I couldn't find it within me to open my eyes just yet. So, instead, I huddled closer to the slight warmth on my right, the cold hardness below only making me shudder even more.

Was I dreaming?

I couldn't tell.

But, as a vague sense of weightlessness came over me, I realized I couldn't be awake, because I couldn't fly.

Sighing, I buried myself deeper into the embrace of the warmth around me. I felt solidness settle under my legs, and the heat migrated to my back, surrounding my arms. A comforting weight settled on the top of my head and, without any pretences, I melted into the softness behind me.

This had to be a dream, because I had never felt so peaceful in my entire life.

**::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::**

Mmm…so warm…

I clutched at the pillow by my side, burying my face in the soft heat it provided.

"Mmph." The comforted sigh which escaped my lips was muffled by the material around me, and I was so joyously content that I couldn't help but stretch out against the softness laying beside me.

Wow, that pillow was long.

It didn't matter, though, because right now I could feel the rising remnants of the sun's bright rays of light silently prodding me awake. I didn't want to rise, and instead stubbornly refused by wrapping myself more forcibly around the heat clutched in my arms.

The supposed pillow shifted, ever so slightly, and in my hazy state of mind I never thought twice about it. I was too consumed in my own dream world to really notice the things of reality.

It was when a light weight on my head began to brush through my locks that I found cause for alarm.

Yawning lazily, I stretched out once more, loving the feel of my bones popping in a pleasant manner. When I was finally ready to open my eyes, I found that the world before me was a blur of white and black, and that my nose was pressed up against something that smelt distinctly of leather.

The scratchy feel of grass scraped up against my ankle, and I was lying on my side, propped up slightly by the heat surrounding me.

Shifting back a little further, I slowly craned my neck upward until I came face-to-face with one Sabaku no Gaara.

_Yep,_ I thought, studying the other with sleep-crusted eyes._ I'm definitely dreaming._

Because, honestly, I doubted _anyone _could get this close to the reclusive boy without losing an appendage or two. 

"Hello," I drawled slowly, stifling the yawn which escaped my lips. Dream Gaara just looked at me in slight shock, and I had to admit that I liked that look on his face.

I stated as much, too, in a rather flippant voice. "You're cute."

The blush on Dream Gaara's face was just as endearing, and I couldn't help but flash a rather cheeky smile at his discomfort.

He shifted a little, obviously uncomfortable with this topic, and I gave a slight squeak of protest.

"Wait! I don't want to wake up yet…"

The look he gave me then was similar to the one he had worn for a brief moment last night. It was the 'What-are-you-talking-about-you-idiot?' look.

Sighing, I tried to explain. "I'm dreaming, and I don't want to wake up right now."

If Dream Gaara had eyebrows, I knew they would have been knit together in confusion at that moment.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, he finally spoke up.

"You're awake."

I smiled again, then shook my head, light pink hair flinging every which way.

"No, I'm not."

He pinched me, and I yelped at the force of such a trick. Pushing back until I was standing on my own two feet, I glared down at the red-head in front of me.

"What was that for!?"

He lifted slowly, ignoring the anger in my tone, and bent down to retrieve the gourd propped up against the boulder behind him.

"If you were dreaming, you wouldn't have felt that."

"Well, yeah, but that's no reason to -!" I stopped mid-sentence, cutting myself short when I realized that I _was _awake.

Oh my God. I just slept with Sabaku no Gaara. Oh my God, oh my god, ohmygod!

I blushed - brightly - and I knew he could tell because he was looking straight at me.

"I-I… umm… s-sorry about… well…" I was reduced to a boneless pile of stuttering words, but Gaara, as if ignoring this fact, walked confidently up to my shivering form.

He stopped when he was mere centimeters away from me, and before I could react, ran a hand through my hair in an almost comforting manner.

"I didn't mind," he stated bluntly, then retreated back towards the edge of the clearing.

I knew that, if I decided to open my mouth at the moment, the only thing to come forth would be a mumbling mess of gibberish. So I wisely decided to just shut up, and let it be.

Glancing up at the sky, I found that it had lightened considerably, but the depressing gray clouds blocked the sun from view, and were slowly getting darker and darker.

_Looks like it might rain after all,_ I thought miserably, then turned my attention back to the red-head to find that he was already heading northward.

I resisted the urge to shout a scathing comment at his back for leaving me behind, and instead ran after him before he could get any farther away.

If this morning was any indication, it seemed today would be even longer than the last one.

* * *

****

- Gaara -

We walked on the ground that day, instead of scouting through the treetops, and I found I rather liked this change of pace. It gave me time to think, and time to revel in the memories of what had occurred just hours ago.

I had liked watching the girl sleep. She was peaceful when her features were relaxed in rest, yet at the same time a sort of twisted pain marred this little image. She must have been dreaming, though I had no idea who or what about. Her fraility had pressed up against my own body, and for the first time I had been able to truly soak in the feel of another's warmth.

When she started to shiver, I knew she was probably cold.

When the tips of her fingers started to turn a light shade of blue, I knew I needed to do something about it.

So I had lifted her up against my chest - the sand, of course, helping with her weight -, and moved us both to the grassy patch the boulder sat on. It was still cold on the ground, so I did the only sensible thing I could do.

I leaned up against the rock, and sat the pink-haired girl in my lap.

I wasn't expecting her to curl against my frame and tangle her legs around my own. I wasn't prepared for her to bury her nose against my abdomen, or to wrap her arms around my back.

And yet, what one _expects_, and what actually _happens_, are two completely different things.

I liked having her laying against me. To see such vulnerability on her features - such weakness - was intoxicating. To know that I could crush her with a mere thought, that her life was held in the palm of my hands, was a rather freeing feeling.

I felt free, because I knew it was _my _choice whether or not she lived. That, whenever I felt the urge, I could have easily snapped her neck in two to watch the blood seep out onto the grass beside me, yet decided I didn't _want _that. She was my responsibility, my possession, my _freedom_. I could do whatever I wanted with her, and no one - not even Shukaku - could take that away from me.

**Do you smell that? **Shukaku growled inside my mind, making me halt in my steps.

Well, it was fitting that if one spoke of the devil, he would come.

I smelt it, indeed. The sweet scent of blood, and of fear, and the electricity of tension permeating the air.

We were being watched, and my fingers itched to crush the watchers in the clutches of my sand.

The Haruno girl seemed to notice, too, for she stopped just as suddenly as I, and glanced in my direction as if asking what we should do next.

It didn't matter what she did; the only thing I could focus on now was the rhythmic thumping of heartbeats in the distance.

We waited in silence for a few moments longer, and in seconds the strangers had surrounded us.

"Well, well. What have we got here?"

Four gray-clad shinobi seemed to materialize from the darkness around us, moving in to block any chance of escape. The girl backed up closer to me, but I barely had time to notice seeing as how the sand in my gourd shifted almost angrily to the beat of my bloodlust.

"Looks like a couple of lovers lost their way, huh?" One of them said, a sickening grin set onto his face.

"Wh-what!?" shouted the pink-haired girl, and I couldn't help but glance her way in slight amusement. She looked absolutely livid. "He is _not_ my lover! I'm not even _old_ enough to have a lover!"

I would have to ask the girl what a lover was, later, but right now I was focused on the confrontation before me.

The man who had spoken before chuckled, and took a step closer my teammate, an even more disturbing smile plastered onto his features.

"Well then, if he's not your boyfriend, I'd say that makes you up for grabs, hmm?"

Wait, what was this idiot implying? That the girl was his?

The anger and bloodlust boiling under the surface of my skin erupted at that moment.

"The girl is _mine_," I spat out, glaring daggers at the shinobi in front of me.

Suddenly, without warning, the sand burst forth from its cocoon, slowly swirling around my body and the kunoichi standing beside me.

_Strange, _I thought, glancing at the frightened girl beside me._ Shukaku has never felt the need to protect another before…_

I pushed the thought away for the moment, and focused on the others in front of me. Before I could blink, an onslaught of shuriken flew towards the two of us, the speed and accuracy or their toss aimed to kill. The Haruno girl flinched, pulling out a kunai to block the attack, and seemed utterly surprised when my sand rose up to block the weapons from making contact.

I was surprised, too, because it wasn't me who was controlling the sand at the moment. It was my demon, and, for some unnamable reason, Shukaku saw fit to keep the pink-haired girl safe.

Shrugging off this confusion, my attention was drawn to the battle, and to how tendrils of sand lashed out to strike at our attackers. One grainy tentacle struck flesh, and the blood which seeped onto the sand made me spiral even further into the madness which was consuming me.

**This is what you live for,** my inner demon reminded, and I found myself agreeing with him. I stood casually in the center of what would soon be a bloody battlefield, arms crossed over my chest in an indifferent manner.

Indifferent, that is, until I saw the markings adorning the strangers' headbands.

The single music note set against a backdrop of silver was blatantly mocking me, defiant in an illusive way. Sound, the minions of Orochimaru, our _allies_, were attacking me.

_Those idiots!_ I thought, angry at how they could risk our cover in such a way. After being warned of our little scouting missions by Baki, those sent to prepare for Konoha's downfall were ordered to stay out of sight. But these four were ruining all our plans by showing their faces too early in the game.

Growling, I allowed more sand to spill out of my gourd and flow around my body, licking at my feet and the feet of the girl standing beside me. I could see her shivering out of the corner of my eye, but neither had the will nor the capacity to stop my weapon from moving of its own free will.

**Kill them,** hissed Shukaku inside my skull.

As I sent my sand to simultaneously wrap around all four shinobi's bodies, I could see the surprise in their eyes, and smell the fear coming off them in waves.

I must exist!

Feel the warmth of their blood, the solidity of their flesh. Live, feel…

My outstretched arm rose in a higher arc, dragging the struggling bodies even higher into the sky.

I will not be forgotton…

Their screams were muffled by the sand as it slowly creeped further up their trembling forms.

You need this… Taste it… Taste their blood…

My hand was closing, and I could hear the satisfying sound of bone crushing under the force of my weapon.

Yes… I - I need…

"Gaara!"

I was startled out of my thoughts by the shrill yell of my teammate, and turned to her abruptly, my hold on the Sound Shinobi unrelenting.

No… Don't let her take away your existence… don't let her!

She ran to me, then, but the sand rose up, capturing her frightened form just before she could reach me.

_No,_ I thought, a splicing ache running through my head._ No, no, no!_

She's threatening you… She's destroying your existence.

I could hear the attackers choking for air, struggling in the grasp of my sand. I could feel the girl, too, taking deep, heavy breaths as if the air had been knocked from her lungs. And I suppose it had, seeing as the grip Shukaku had on her was bruising in its intensity.

She's not… I don't…

Kill her.

The pain ripped through my skull, making me cringe and clutch at my head.

No, she's…

The smell of blood, of fear. The shouts and screams muffled by the sand.

Kill this threat!

She wouldn't… I won't…

I nearly dropped to my knees as another wave of nauseating pain rose inside my stomach, threatening to make me retch.

Kill the damn woman!

Their pulses racing, beating like a drum. Their flesh trembling in pure horror at their fate.

"_No!_"

And I clenched my hand shut.

A splash of blood flew across my face, and I stumbled forward to fall upon my knees in front of one of the dead shinobi. Digging my hands into their severed flesh, I reveled in the warmth seeping through my fingers, and the softness of their innards running through my hands.

It was heaven.

It was hell.

It was life and death in a single breath, and the hazy euphoria their demise brought was enough to remind me that this, truly, was existing.

"G-Gaara?" I heard the frightened whisper behind me, and whipped my hand around to find a rather disoriented Sakura staring at me in shocked horror.

"W-what… did you…" She trailed off, staring in morbid fascination at my bloody body, though her own slight form trembled in fear.

Rising from my position on the ground - arms soaked to the elbows in blood -, I advanced on the girl, anger and frustration seeping through my emotions. When I was a few yards away from the kunoichi, she seemed to snap out of her hopeless daze, and saw me for the first time. Horror-struck at my appearance and proximity, she took a few steps back, but I only followed, until the girl was backed up against a tree and had no way to escape.

Growling, I leaned in until my nose was but a few centimeters away from the other's face, and gripped her jaw in my bloody hands - smearing the crimson liquid onto the girl's chin and mouth in the process.

"I let you live for touch alone," I said, letting my hands migrate to the other's hair, running through it until I had stained her pink tresses with streaks of red.

"But stand in the way of my existence, and I _will_ kill you."

I let her go, and took a few steps back, watching as bitter tears escaped the kunoichi's eyes, falling down her face to mix with the crimson blood already there.

The headache which was throbbing at the edges of my concioucness was driving me mad with anger, and it took all that was within me to keep from killing the girl then and there.

Death was my way of living. It had always been such. But recently, this female's touch had given me a whole other reason to exist. Old habits die hard, though, and when I felt threatened by someone, it was only in my nature to threaten them back.

The Haruno girl was safe from my wrath, for now, but I feared that if she ever got in my way again, I wouldn't be able to keep Shukaku from ripping her to shreds with my own two hands.

* * *

_I'm hoping all of you caught the parallels between Sasuke in Sakura's dream, and Gaara at the end of this scene._

_In case you didn't understand (Though I'm pretty sure all of your got it.), the first time Sakura 'woke up' was a dream, and the other two times were real. That second time when when Gaara had moved their position._

_Next chapter will be a lot lighter on the angst, I promise! And, hopefully, I'll be able to find a way to resolve Sakura's dilemma of fearing Gaara._

_Review, please!_


	30. Of Desperation and Rainfall

_Meh, I had a big author's note explaining the importance of this chapter, but the second I hit the "Save Changes" button, my internet went down, and what I had said wasn't saved. Roughly, I had said that this was the turning point for Gaara and Sakura's relationship. Everything so far has been leading up to this point. I'm really hoping all of this is believable to you. If you take into account what has happened in the last 28 chapters, and the personalities of each individual, then this chapter should run pretty smoothly._

_- Kodu_

**NOTE:** I know I mentioned less angst for this chapter, but...erm... that didn't quite want to happen. Sorry! Oh, and check out my livejournal ( http:// kodukadvakch . livejournal . com ) for some Gaasaku tidbits I've written (Under the post, "Challenge Communities".). They were written for the "50 Shinobi" themed challenge community. I may post up a fic with all of them, once I've completed all 50. For now, I've got two done. One a short one-shot, the other a drabble.

_Thanks for the great reviews!_

**OTHER NOTE:** In case any of you were curious, here are the stats so far for "Midnight Tears". (And I am extremely, ecstatically proud of this fiction's popularity! I had never known people would like it so much!)

**Words: **85,371  
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* * *

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**29**

**- Sakura -**

I was scared.

_Oh God,_ I was _so _scared_…_

I could smell it all around me - the blood of our attackers. Staining my mouth, my cheeks my hair. And all I wanted to do - all my sanity was _telling _me to do - was retch. Because, maybe if I vomited enough, this disgusting fear settled into the pit of my stomach would be tossed out.

But I couldn't.

Because opening my mouth would make the crimson stain on my lips drip down onto my tongue, and I feared that if I were to part my lips for any reason, I would _scream_.

God, I was _scared_.

I knew shinobi killed. I knew it was our job, our duty, to follow any orders given to us, even if that meant the death of another.

But, up until now, I had never seen it done.

… And I had never thought someone could murder with such rapturous joy in their eyes.

The boy - _Gaara _-, had been _smiling _as he bathed himself in the blood of our enemies. It wasn't a grin of relief - not even a smirk of accomplishment. It was a purely maniacal, purely _insane _smile. And who went up to dead bodies to explore their spilled innards, anyways?

Thinking about it made me want to retch even more.

And it was _all over _me! Blood smeared across my face, caked into my hair. I was crying, too, which did little to clean my visage, and only seemed to spread the red liquid even more.

Gasping for breath, I twisted my body from the tree supporting my back, and took a few stumbling steps away from the monster before me.

I had to leave… _right now_. I needed to get out of here, to save my life, to warn the village, to tell the Hokage, to…to…

…I had to _run_.

Spinning on my heel, I darted into the forest behind me, racing through the foliage with blind intensity. I could hear the distant sound of shifting sand behind me, which only fueled my grueling pace. I crashed through branch after branch of drooping tree limbs, pushing them aside angrily as if it was their fault I couldn't run fast enough. My lungs were burning, my legs were aching, and as I broke out into an open meadow, still dashing away like a frightened deer, I found that the adrenaline was draining from my veins, and that my body was beginning to slow down.

Too tired to move another inch, I fell to my knees and buried my head in the soft grass below me.

_I'm going to die…_ I thought, sobbing uncontrollably. My tears dripped down from my cheeks to fall upon the ground.

After a few moments of rest, my heart began beating just as quickly before, and my inner self screamed at me to run.

But I was too tired to move - to _stand _- let alone _run! _So, instead, I collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily to try and force oxygen back into my lungs.

I just… I couldn't go on, any more. This was too emotionally traumatizing, too physically fatiguing.

I was going to die - _he _was going to _kill _me -, and there was nothing, absolutely _nothing_, I could do to stop it.

Because I was weak.

Because no one cared.

Because I wasn't _good enough_…

The sobs came out harder, choking me; the tears came out hotter, blinding me. And, if I truly thought about my appearance, and about my demeanor, and about my friends, and my life, and my _failures_…

…Then, maybe death wasn't such a bad thing, after all?

I felt his presence behind me; sort of like a sixth sense tingling at the back of my neck, warning me of my imminent doom.

"You ran," he whispered, that scratchy voice giving me chills.

I felt a hand at my back, and forced down the bile in my throat when it glided up my spine to rest at the base of my neck, leaving a bloody trail in its wake. A whimper of protest escaped my mouth when I felt the solid expanse of Gaara's blood-soaked chest press down on me, flattening me further into the ground below. His legs were on either side of mine, straddling me, and his face was angled downward to where his lips tickled the edge of my ear.

"You _ran_," he hissed harshly, the words sounding like a vulgar statement when they left his mouth.

I felt scratchy tendrils of sand snake around my body, running along my legs, my sides, my arms… And I wanted to scream. With everything within me, I just wanted to yell, and thrash, and _fight back_…

But I didn't.

Because I was frozen in place; not necessarily out of fear, but out of morbid curiosity.

Would he kill me? Would he really do it? What would death feel like? Would I be happier? Would I be… relieved?

He paused above me, his weight a warm blanket which contrasted darkly with the cold ground I was trapped against. We didn't move, our breaths intermingling in the chill of the evening. I could feel his heartbeat through the thin fabric of our clothing, could hear his ragged breathing. And I could smell that wicked, horrible stench which dripped from his arms, splattering my own body with that crimson liquid.

He shifted slightly, and I clenched my eyes shut, expecting the worst.

I was moved onto my back by the sand, now facing the boy above me, though I refused to open my eyes.

He growled in anger, and fisted a hand into my bloody hair.

"_Look _at me," he grit out, and when I did open my eyes and let my gaze fall on him, I nearly gasped in surprise at what I saw.

Blood was smeared all across his face, dripping from his hair, coloring his cheeks, and nose, and mouth, and neck... And the symbol on his forehead - the one I had always thought was a _tattoo _- was so close that I could see that it wasn't just a simple decoration after all. It was a wicked _scar_, carved into his skin - the deeper cuts leaving little gaps where his flesh had been torn out; the more shallow incisions marked by angry red welts.

And the look in his eyes - the angry, haunted, murderous, _desperate _look in those chilling blue eyes - made something within me snap.

He was messed up. He was a monster, and a murderer, and a loveless freak of nature…

…And he needed _help_.

"C-come here…" I whispered, my hands snaking towards his crimson-stained hair. The fist he held in my own bloody tresses loosened, and the look he gave me made me cry even harder. He was hopeful and suspicious in the same breath - angry and relieved, joyous and sorrowful… utterly, irrevocably demented, and trapped inside these emotions like the helpless little boy I had seen last night.

I tugged on his head, pulling it towards me until his nose rested in the crook of my neck, and my chin sat lightly atop his bloody hair. The smell of it permeated my senses, making me want to retch, and to run away all over again, but I held fast.

I was weak, physically and emotionally.

But mentally, and stubbornly… I was _strong_.

"I'll kill you…" he whispered, and the unmasked sorrow in his voice didn't go unnoticed by me.

"I want your blood… I want your screams… I want you _dead_…" The sheer reverence in his words made a chill go down my spine, but I forced away such numbing fear and instead stroked the back of Gaara's neck lightly.

"I know," I mumbled, still soothing him. "_I know_…"

He paused above me, tensing up in suspicion when my hand trailed down to rest across the expanse of his back. When I began stroking there, too - reaching up every so often to probe softly at the grainy gourd which crushed my hand to his body -, all stiffness drained from him, and the red-head seemed to melt into my touch.

He was heavy, with that giant gourd weighing down his back, but I ignored my discomfort and instead focused all my attention on the boy above me. All he wanted, it seemed, was attention, and love; like any other child in this world.

Though, instead of pouting when he didn't get it, he murdered innocents.

He shifted again, this time bringing his head up to gaze into my eyes, and after a few moments of awkward silence, he bent his mouth down and began licking my cheek gently.

I blushed, and seriously considered pushing him off for having the sheer audacity to _lick _me, but realized that I had brought this upon myself. And, besides, this boy was socially clueless. He probably had no idea that what he was doing was bordering on sexual. I had soothed him, so it was only common sense that he would try and soothe me back.

"The blood… will come off…" he panted between licks, the desparation in his voice bringing me to tears once again. "It always comes off…easily. Too easily. It should stay. I wish… I wish it would stay…"

I suffered through his disturbing rant, holding back my fearful cries, shuddering even more when he worked around my mouth - though thankfully avoided my lips.

He slid up my body, lifting his arms to either side of my head in a protective manner.

"You will… you will stay," he breathed, staring into my eyes as if trying to pierce my very soul. "You will _die _if you leave me. I'll _kill _you."

"Yes, Gaara," I said, forcing back the stutter in my voice. "I'll… I'll stay."

He sighed then, settling himself back on top of me, and I began stroking his hair again, if only to calm his insanity. We stayed like that for God knew how long - him laying against me; I soothing the maddened beast, so to speak. It was when my back began to ache from the hard ground, that I became uncomfortable. Though I didn't dare speak out against him. My life had been threatened enough today for me to understand that this boy was mentally unstable.

I stared up at the sky, watching as the darkening clouds seemed to gather together more quickly.

It didn't take long for the first drops of rain to fall from heaven above.

* * *

****

- Gaara -

I would have killed her.

The moment she ran was the moment my sanity snapped, and Shukaku took full controll.

She would have died by my hands; in blood, or in _rape_, I didn't know. And I didn't _care_.

She was just like the others - just like all those worthless lives I had destroyed - because she was afraid of me, and she _acted _on that fear.

No, the girl wasn't like them. She was _worse_.

Because _she _had the ability to touch me, _she _had the ability to _hurt _me, and this threat on my life - at first allowed by Shukaku, though I knew my demon was having second thoughts - needed to be destroyed… _now_.

I didn't chase after her. I would find her, eventually, because I thirsted for her blood too much. I wanted to see her in pain, writhing on the ground in agony, for all that she had done to me.

She had made me _feel_, and I _hated _her for it.

I would have killed her.

Only, when I found her in that meadow, lying on the ground, twisting in what appeared to be her own form of agony, I had been more curious that bloodthirsty.

And when I head leaned into her, and she looked up at me with those teary, jade green eyes…

_I would have killed her,_ but the moment she whispered those shaky words, the moment she touched me of her own free will, the moment she silently pleaded for forgiveness…

…That was the moment my sanity returned to me.

_He_ would have killed her.

Shukaku was angry. Angry at my audacity to refuse his commands, angry at the girl for getting under my skin, angry at my sheer stupidity…

And I felt every second of that anger, racing through me like a pounding headache. But the girl, stroking my neck, running her hands through my hair… it helped. It helped _a lot_.

He was screeching, clawing at my sanity, trying to grab hold of my free will, aching to rip my emotions to shreds. His sand, even, had risen up, and was wrapping around the both of us, letting me taste her fear, whispering in my ear just how good the sound of her screams would be.

But she stroked the gourd, too. Touched the sand freely - sent that electric, life-giving warmth to the demon inside of me - and he had paused. He had felt what I had had the privelage to experience over the past week.

He had felt touch…

…And he had liked it.

I wouldn't let her go. I wouldn't allow the pink-haired kunoichi to leave me, like all the others. Because, unlike all the others, she had had enough common sense to stay put, to beg for forgiveness, and to give me something that I actually _wanted_.

So I held her, uncaring of the coldness surrounding us, uncaring of her discomfort. It was cold, yes, but her body was so warm, and I knew that - together - we could survive the conditions trying to pull us apart.

Together…

Her and I…

My sibling's words from the other day came back to me.

"And you want to… court her?"

If this was courtship, was it such a bad thing after all? She could be mine, and with the title of my claimed, would be free from the attentions of anyone else. We could touch more often, and I would have the right to see her whenever I wished.

_Yes,_ I thought, nuzzling into the girl's neck as I brought our bodies closer together._ I think I rather like that idea._

I would have been content to stay in that position forever, but something cold and wet landed rather abruptly on my back, and I twisted my head around to see what could have snuck up on me in such a way.

Nothing was behind me, but when I felt that chilling sensation again, I lifted up off the girl to glance around every which way, looking for the source of such an attack. When more drops of the wetness dripped on top of my head, I jerked my face upwards to glare at the clouds above.

The sky was… leaking?

Squinting, I crossed my arms while probing at the sky, looking for any enemy nin that might have been hidden in a genjutsu attack above us.

I flinched when another drop landed on the skin just below my eye, and swiped furiously at my cheek, angry that someone had the ability to touch me with an attack. It was strange, though, because Shukaku wasn't erecting his sand shield to protect me from what could be potentially dangerous.

…This _was _dangerous, after all, wasn't it?

"Gaara…?" whispered the Haruno girl behind me, and I whipped my head in her direction, giving her a hard glare.

Was she the one attacking me? Was she the one making this strange wetness fall from the sky?

When another drip of coldness fell atop my head, I swiped at my hair and pointed an accusatory finger at the kunoichi in front of me.

"What is this?" I hissed, lifting my arm in a wide sweep to indicate the gray clouds above.

She quirked an eyebrow in my direction, and I nearly growled in anger at the amusement on her face.

"It's rain."

The little drops were coming down harder, falling into a steader rhythm than before. They drummed relentlessly on my body, becoming more of a nuisance than a threat.

"Rain?" I questioned, glancing up at the sky once again. When another drip of wetness fell onto my hand, I brought it up to my face for closer inspection.

What I saw surprised me.

It was water.

_Water_ was falling from above, as if God himself was crying.

But that wasn't right. Water came from the underground rivers of Suna; from the pipes which tapped into the reserves of an oasis. It didn't fall from the _sky_. That was just _strange_.

The Haruno girl didn't seem to share my confusion, and instead moved towards the edge of the forest to take shelter under a tree. I followed, and soon found that such a hideout from the 'rain' was unacceptable. Yes, we were protected against the freezing water falling from above, but the wind was deathly chilly, and was blowing some of the wetness towards us, soaking our bodies anyways.

Slitting my eyes, I grabbed hold of the pink-haired kunoichi's wrist, and dragged her along with me as I stalked off in the direction we had come from.

"Wh-what are you doing, Gaara?" she stuttered, trying to gain her footing after being tugged off balance.

I didn't reply, and kept walking until I had found what I was looking for.

Up ahead was a level of raised earth, a large stone pointing outward to hang off the cliff's edge. This boulder curved inward slightly, but broke off at the bottom, revealing a large gaping hole where a cave undoubtedly ran through the bowels of that dirt mound. Earlier, we had passed this area around lunch time, and had stopped to eat on the stone which acted as a roof for the cave below.

Pulling the girl along behind me, I climbed the small incline leading towards the rock shelter, and crouched down to peer inside the darkness.

Neither I now Shukaku could sense any being inside, save for a few resident bugs, and, finding it safe, I crawled into the tiny space. Laying on my side, I turned until I was facing the entrance, and watched my partner fidget in the rain outside. She was probably debating on whether or not she should follow me, but I gave her little choice in the matter.

"Come here," I whispered, reaching an arm out to the other as if in invitation.

She paused for a moment, glancing left to right, but a streak of lightning and a loud boom of thunder startled her enough to lunge into the cave.

It was small - a lot smaller than I had previously thought -, and she ended up falling into my chest as she jumped inside.

I didn't mind, though, and wrapped my arms around the girl before she could escape.

The storm outside picked up, and I couldn't help but compare it to one of Suna's sandstorms. Water covered the earth much like sand would cover every living thing. It thrashed around, guided by the wind, howling at the offending foliage surrounding it. Sometimes, it even pelted through the branches of the trees, ripping up the greenery all around. This 'rain' storm was just as destructive as a sandstorm back in my country.

Sakura shivered in my arms, and as I glanced down to watch her, I realized that she was soaked to the bone - so much so that the blood which had previously caked her visage was nearly completely washed away.

Shifting slightly, I unbuckled the gourd from my back and pushed it towards the edge of our little shelter, shuffling backwards until the chill of the stone raced up my spine. Gently tugging at the kunoichi in my arms, I lead her back to my chest, unwrapping the white sash tied around my body to cover her own shaking form.

True, it wasn't enough to warm her completely, but it was a start.

Sighing, I buried my nose in her hair and closed my eyes, thinking back on all that had occurred.

It was amazing to me how Shukaku had protected the girl at first. He had never done that before - not even to my own siblings, though I cared little for them myself. Of course, the second she threatened my existence, he had turned on her and goaded me to kill her.

But I didn't.

I had stopped myself from crushing the girl, and that was perhaps the most surprising thing to me.

Because if I could resist my demon's demands, then that meant I was strong. And if I was strong, then that meant I was worthy of living. Those things held no purpose, though, if no one acknowledged them, which meant that this newfound strength did nothing to confirm my existence.

But that girl…

She had acknowledged it. She knew about my bloodlust, about my thirst to kill her, and yet she stayed with me, comforted me, helped me to breathe and take control.

I liked control.

It was better than blindly rampaging through life.

It was better than waking up from a mindless haze, surrounded by mangled bodies and the scent of fear, left all alone to wash yourself of those images in a water that only ever ran skin deep.

Control, her touch, free will…

These were things I rather liked.

These were things I _would_ have.

Tightening my grip on the girl in my arms, I stretched up against her and whispered into her ear, "You're _mine_."

And she didn't disagree.

* * *

_Now, I think I've got some explaining to do._

_Why did Sakura snap like that? Emotional and mental stress can do that to a person. She figured, "If I'm gonna' be dead anyways, I might as well accept what's going to happen." (Thanks, archchic, for the advice, by the way!)_

_What shifted Gaara's attitude from touch-obsessive to considering courtship? The attention Sakura gave him. He explained how her affection (Not just touch) gives him control, and that he likes being in control of himself. _

_...And why was Gaara clueless about rain? Well, I did some research on desert climates. Of course, we know it doesn't rain often in the desert, but it isn't dry all the time, either. I was reading about the pattern of anual rainfall in the Mojave Desert (recorded from 1900-1994), and found some interesting things. One of them being that the longest drought they've had lasted 30 years. So, assuming that Suna's climate is like this harsh desert climate, it's very believable that it hasn't rained there in 14 years, and that Gaara has never seen rain before in his lifetime. (He's 14 in this story, by the way. -sweatdrops- Sakura's 13, remember? And I'm keeping them a year apart in age. Not sure if that is accurate, though...)_

_Meh, I thought it would be cute, anyways. - shrugs -_

_Hope that cleared up any confusion whatsoever! And, please, tell me what you think (especially if I've messed up!)._


	31. Of Voices and Agreements

**PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!!**

_Ahem, now, with that having been said, let me explain the cause of my long absence._

_Simply and briefly put, I had a spat with my parents, and everything I had access to online was taken away and deleted (Roleplaying, Livejournal, Devient Art, etc.) How my fanfiction account survived, I'll never know. But, the point is, I'm writing this without permission. I'm writing this with the fear that they may somehow find out, and delete this, too. But, no. I'm covering my tracks well._

_Well, putting it in the most cut-and-dry way possible, this could be the last chapter for a long time. Or I could update within the month. I just don't know. I might not continue this until I'm in college (I'm 17 now, by the way, so that would be about a year-and-a-half wait.), but I just don't know. I wrote this chapter on the spur or the moment. In fact, I had started it in an encrypted journal - totally 12-year-old, I know - was translating it here, and then just kept going._

_It felt good to write again. Everything just... came._

_Well, that's not the only reason, of course. My laptop veritably exploded (Not literally, but you get my point), so I was without access to anything I had written for months. It's not fixed yet, but my amazing brother gave me his._

_Anyways!_

**DO NOT TRY TO CONTACT ME!!!**

_You can speak to me through reviews, of course. But NO EMAIL. That, too, is being monitored. This fanfic could be deleted if you even possibly have the inkling of an urge to try and reach me other than reviewing here, on fanfiction . net. _

_This story will continue. Don't worry about that. It will just take longer than I previously expected._

_Oh, and, **110 stinkin' reviews for the last chapter!?** I haven't read them all yet (I'm frightened out of my mind that half of them are probably death threats), but still... you guys are AMAZING!_

_So, uh, read, review, enjoy._

_Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day._

* * *

**Sakura**

It was the thunder that woke me. A streak of lightning painted the sky, its light glaring against my closed eyelids, and was followed by a racket loud enough to move heaven and earth.

My eyes flew open as I jerked backwards into Gaara's chest. His arms were around me instantly.

The rain was still coming down in torrents, and it chilled me to the bone to watch. Each moan and wail of the wind intensified as time ticked on. Trees were bent at odd angles, submitting to the gale, the old withered branches cracking when it became too much.

I watched, mesmerized, as the grass rose and fell like the violent waves of an ocean. Everything had an eerie gray hue to it, as if this was all just another bad dream.

Another streak of lightning; another rumble of thunder.

But it wasn't a dream.

It was the thunder that had woken me up.

It was Gaara who kept me awake.

I could feel the heat of his chest against my back, his sopping wet clothes plastered to his body. The white sash he usually wore clung to my bare ankles and my own drenched clothes. His right arm was around my shoulders, supporting my head, while the other traced the length of my arm, his thumb absently stroking my wrist.

I felt feverish. My body was soaked, my skin was icy, and the little heat Gaara provided was muggy and uncomfortable. The heat of his gaze pierced the back of my head, and I glanced back to find him watching me with a welcome clarity. Just the thought of his maniacal insanity earlier made me shudder.

Four men.

Four men were killed... _massacred_...

And I had come unbelievable close to sharing their fate.

What had saved me? Surely it wasn't my quick-witted thinking and incredible bravery. But it was just as hard to believe that my emotional breakdown could have possibly moved the red-head to spare my life. What about before that? Why had he protected me from those strange shinobi? I could guess that our contact from earlier might have swayed his actions, but then why turn on me when I tried to use touch to calm him down? And then, after that bloody scene, when I had emotionally snapped, why had touch suddenly worked again?

My analytical mind raced to solve this puzzle, and I found myself frustrated that I was still missing most of the pieces. I had thought touch calmed Gaara, but in thinking about it, realized I'd have to reevaluate my hypothesis. There were times when I felt my touch drove the red-head into a frenzy, rather than calm him down. Like on the rooftop a few days ago, when leaning into him spurred him into offensive action, and had subsequently gotten me thrown off the roof.

So the thought of my presence calming him was out.

But the only other explanation for his actions I could come up with was obsession... a frightening thought to consider.

And even if this _was_ the answer I was looking for, it still didn't explain why my touch didn't save those four men's lives...

Unless an obsession far darker than touch overrode my contact...

But no. I wouldn't think of that right now. Not with the storm still raging outside, the utter void of blackness a dismal backdrop to the vicious tempest. Not when my body was so numb and inactive that not even the tingling hint of a fat, ugly insect crawling along my fingers could stir me into action. Not when Gaara was watching me with an intensity so deep, I could hardly breathe from the impact of it.

...His eyes really were quite lovely.

In the darkness they had taken on a whole new depth. Only the barest hint of light shone in them - a reflection from what, I had no idea -, and for the most part they were covered in shadow, but the _texture_... I would never have seen it if I wasn't nearly nose-to-nose with the boy. His pupils seemed a darker shade of black than was physically possible; deeper than void, blacker than space, and equally as endless. The blue around his pupils was so dark as to be nearly black, though each infinitesimal drop of color was distinctly different from the rest. The blue lightened as it spread out, and though from a distance it may have looked dull or dingy, up close it was teeming with a variety of colors and textures... and emotions.

They seemed to blend and meld together, different emotions - different concepts - becoming one. Deep aquamarine gave way to emptiness; near-amethyst mixed with cold control. And somewhere, clashing with all this, was vicious hatred, baby blue, steel gray, blatant obsession, hidden uncertainty, sea green, tremulous warmth...

He moved closer.

I did the same.

The black around his eyes - which I had thought only made him look sullen and pale - seemed to emphasize their depths and bring clarity to the lines of his face. His nose was perfectly proportioned to his face, and his cheeks were nearly as undefined as his chin. His skin was pale, unblemished, though looked as dry as the land he came from. My eyes trailed to his forehead - large, like mine! -, lingered on the scar, and eventually fell to his slightly parted lips.

I berated myself for taking such liberties to study him, even as my body turned to face him.

I watched for a moment, detached, as he studied my disheveled form. In a motion too quick for me to follow, I was on the ground, my back to the cold floor of the cave, with Gaara on top of me, his body molded to mine.

The shock of it all brought me back down to reality, and as his lips drew ever closer to my own, I found myself..._ frightened? - disgusted? - horrified?_

... Longing for his lips to close over mine.

My eyes started to close...

_No!_

I forced myself to shake off this haziness, to look at the blood still staining his neck, his hairline, and to remember... remember...

Would another kiss be such a horrible thing? I couldn't find it within myself to think so, and this absolutely terrified me.

He paused above me, as if sensing my fear, his lips barely a breath away from my own. The tension in the air was static, pure electricity, as tangible and threatening as his body above mine.

His head tilted slightly, changing the angle of his descent, until his lips came to rest against my ear.

"You _should_ be afraid."

And then he was off of me. I felt cold, and empty, when the weight of his chest was gone, yet was deeply relieved all the same. These treacherous thoughts... they were tearing me apart from the inside out, and I just didn't have the strength to bear another burden of guilt on my shoulders. Besides, I had already failed my country in two glaringly shameful ways. By inaction - surely Sarutobi-sama will skewer me when I show up tomorrow with still as little information as I had for him before! -, and by... by bending to this monster red-head's will.

He had deemed me his possession... and I hadn't refused.

I shifted closer to the entrance of the cave, not caring that the icy rain outside now had liberty to pelt my exposed arms and face, not caring when I lost all feeling in my fingers and my nose became as cold as the rock my face was pressed against. I watched listlessly as my wild, pink hair was drenched with the force of the spray, droplets of watered down blood retreating into every crack and crevice of the broken cave floor.

"You'll die of cold."

Gaara's voice reached my ears, making me cringe, as if my body couldn't stand the thought of his presence. Well, even the dumbest of animal's had enough basic instinct to flinch when it came upon something dangerous.

And, if nothing else, Sabaku no Gaara was _definitely_ dangerous.

I had known this before, but I hadn't fully realized it until just now. The tone of his voice... the way he spoke those simple words... they were threatening in the emptiness of it all. It was like something had torn the boy open and hollowed out his soul, leaving nothing but an empty shell and a wraith of what once was, or what could have been.

It was the insanity that scared me, but it was in this black, ugly void where the threat truly lay.

"Maybe I want to die." My voice sounded hollow to my own ears, and I inwardly flinched at the un-assumed tone. It sounded so hopeless, so much like _him_...

...And it was true.

I think that's what frightened me the most.

He didn't respond for a moment, and after a while I thought he was ignoring me again, but finally he let loose a bored, non-committal, "Hn."

And suddenly my anger flared into an uncontrollable rage.

'What's that supposed to mean!?' cried Inner Sakura, and my mind instantly went over the possibilities.

'Hn,' as in, 'No one would care if you died anyway,' or 'Your life's not that difficult, stop being a weakling,' or 'I possess you, so you have no choice in the matter either way,' or a thousand other responses he could be thinking at that moment.

I flew to my knees - the cave was too small to stand in -, and whipped around to face the red-head. He looked me up and down, disinterest lighting his eyes, and before I could even think, my mouth was open and I was spewing forth as many sharp and pointed words as I could possibly manage in one breath.

"You monster! You sick, filthy little boy! You think anyone could possibly _care_ about you!?"

"No," he replied nonchalantly, interrupting my little tirade, and adding fuel to the fire.

"No wonder nobody loves you! No wonder your teammates are afraid of you! You're a freak! Hear that, Gaara? You're a_ freak of nature!_ You think you're better than me? You think your life has any meaning? Well, _you're wrong!_ No one cares about you! No one even _sees_ you! You're worthless! Hear me? _Worthless!_ "

His eye twitched, and I heard the slight shifting of sand in his gourd, but I was panting, and relieved, and I just didn't _care_ anymore.

"I've killed men for less than that little rant." He was so cool about it, so spine-chillingly icy, yet the furious look in his eyes told me I had struck a chord.

I unthinkingly shouted out, "Then go ahead and kill me!", but instantly blanched at my words.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid big mouth!_

He smirked - just a slight lift to the lips -, and I knew, by that simple look, that he could easily do as I told and not have a speck of dirt on his conscience come morning.

He lifted up from his stretched out position on the ground, coming to a crouch, then leaned forward until we were nose-to-nose. Frightened, I leaned back until my sense of balance was thrown and I fell backwards into the raging storm outside of our little shelter. He followed, and was soon hovering above me on all fours, his body taking the brunt of the harsh weather. The look in his eyes was maniacal, cold, and...

... Amused?

A scratchy, half-choking sound came from his lips, his shoulders shaking in choppy movements. At first I thought he was having a small, contained seizure, but he seemed too much in control of these movements for it to be mere accident. And then it hit me.

_Is he... laughing at me?_

Anger bubbled just beneath the surface of my skin, but before I could explode again, I realized that I was in a precarious position. Sure, he wasn't bathed in blood and half-drugged with the high of a fresh kill, but he was just as dangerous as he had been earlier, after he had killed those men.

He continued to laugh - if it could even be called that -, and for a moment I wondered if he had truly snapped. Surely there wasn't anything _funny_ about my vicious rebuke, unless I just failed to see the humor of it all.

And then he stopped.

I looked up into cold, hateful blue eyes, and flinched at the blatant fury I found in those depths. His silence was deafening, and I found myself almost missing his insane laughter. At least it was better than this frightening show of spiteful intimidation.

He leaned closer - _I'm beginning to see a pattern in his movements_, I thought sarcastically -, his proximity making my breath come in shaky gasps. The sand from his gourd rose up around us in a protective cocoon, crawling along our legs, rising over his head to shield him from the splitting wind... swirling around my arms and fingers, touching me in an almost provocative manner. A light tendril rose to my cheek, caressing it, more sand enveloping the bottom of my skull so I couldn't flinch away.

'If he kisses us one more time...' growled Inner Sakura.

**'Oh, come on. You know you like it.'**

My eyes widened to the size of saucer plates as this strange, dark voice invaded my head. There was something guttural to its tone of voice, and definitely, _definitely_ something decidedly evil dripping from every word.

_Where the heck did you come from!?_ I shouted inwardly as Inner Sakura's own voice mirrored my words.

**'Oh, goodie! She can hear me!'**

Oh, God, I was going _insane_.

'Who are you, and what are you doing in my mind!?' yelled my Inner self.

_My mind_, I corrected, nearly rolling my eyes when the feminine voice inside my head huffed.

I could feel this second presence shrug, and my breath hitched at the dark power it exuded from such a simple, intangible movement.

**'Take it up with him.'** I could only assume 'him' meant Gaara. **'Usually I'm confined to the prison of his mind, but it seems the medium of the sand lets me travel through both of you. Hm, interesting. I knew you'd be useful the moment I saw you...'**

I blocked out this stranger's voice - which proved to be _much_ more difficult than ignoring Inner Sakura's - and stared up at Gaara with wide, incredulous eyes.

"You hear voices too!?" I blurted out without thinking, instantly blushing at my tactlessness. In the very least, I could have amended the 'too' at the end of that sentence, so he would think me less insane.

He looked at me for a moment, puzzled, and then his eyes widened as mine had earlier, and he seemed to stare into my very being without hearing a word I said.

I knew in that instant that, somehow, my Inner self had invaded his mind just as his Inner self had invaded mine.

_God, what could she possibly be saying to - ... no._

I blushed.

* * *

**Gaara**

'... and where do you get off jumping us every five seconds just to sate your own sick desires? Huh? What is wrong with your head, for you to justify being such a jerk all the time! I mean, I know you can be hot and all, but that doesn't give you the right! Well, what do you have to say for yourself? ... And don't you dare pretend you can't hear me, because I know what you're thinking!'

I couldn't believe it.

I couldn't _believe_ it!

_Shukaku!_

**'What? What did I do?'**

I was still trying to figure that one out. I hadn't thought it possible, really, but the Tanuki had found a way to screw with my head even _more_ than he already did.

'You still haven't answered my question!' shouted a female voice that sounded distinctly like Sakura's... only more violent... and it was reverberating in my head instead of through my ears.

_Shut up!_ I shouted, then inwardly blanched. What the_ hell?_ I was _speaking_ to this voice now?

'What did you just tell me to do!?'

**'My, my. She certainly has a temper on her...'**

_... Like the subconscious that conjured her up._

I looked down at the girl in question, all anger flitting away to be replaced by awed speculation.

"You hear voices?" I asked, my tone sounding harsher than I meant it to, but at the moment I couldn't care less.

Her blush deepened, and she tried to turn her head away before realizing that the sand still had a hold on it.

"Well, just... just one, actually," she choked out, her face getting redder and redder by the minute. Then, suddenly, her bright jade eyes snapped back towards me and she watched me with an earnest look on her face. "You hear voices, too?"

This odd... camaraderie, would it be called? ... forced me to answer her question.

"Just one."

"Just one," she muttered back, her voice distant and unbelieving.

I had never met someone who I had shared an inkling of similarity with. Sure, my siblings and I shared our blood, and the people of my village shared our homeland, but never before had someone connected to me in a... mental way. I suppose that's what I would call it, at least. I mean, who else in the vicinity heard voices - 'Just one voice,' the female in my head corrected me - in their mind?

**'Two now,'** commented the demon, and I cringed at the thought of having to listen to that whiny, annoying female bantering with Shukaku for the rest of my days. **'Only when the sand touches her,'** the Tanuki amended, and at this realization I quickly jerked back from the pink-haired kunoichi, forcing my sand back into its container.

The angry shouts of her Inner voice receded from my head, and I was a little disconcerted at the emptiness which filled the space she used to reside in.

**'Aw, now why did you have to go and do a thing like that?'** complained Shukaku, and I cursed at him with an angry rebuke before forcing him back to the edges of my conscience.

I noticed for the first time that the storm had receded. The rain was almost completely gone now - just a light drizzle fell from the heavens - and the shocking lights and loud, unearthly booms had stopped a while ago. The sun had risen without my noticing, and I gently cursed under my breath for not having been more attentive. An enemy shinobi could have sneaked up on us easily without me ever having seen a thing.

The sky was that ugly, wan green color again - the color of the eyes which stared at me now from a few yards to my left.

I turned to Sakura, my arms crossed, and leveled my gaze with the girl.

"Well..." she fumbled for something to say. "That was... uh... weird..."

_Weird_ wasn't the half of it.

Sick, devious, downright _wrong_ described the experience a little better. I felt violated, in an odd way. No one had ever touched me, no one had ever tried to get to know me, and now suddenly this stupid kunoichi was in my head - literally!

**'Not her,'** retorted Shukaku, breaking through my mental barriers for a moment.** 'Her voice.'**

_There's no difference!_ I shouted in my head.

**'Of course there is. I'm not you, am I?'**

I refused to respond to that question. Truth be told, the Tanuki had taken over so much of my mind - my personality - that it was sometimes glaringly difficult to differentiate between the two of us.

"Gaara?" Sakura's timid voice reached my ears.

"What?" I grated out angrily, accidentally letting my inward frustration show outwardly. I had been zoning out, and I knew it, but that didn't mean I would be treating the pink-haired girl with any amount of respect.

We had connected somehow, and I knew that, too, but that didn't mean I would be treating the pink-haired girl with any amount of sympathy, either.

My arms crossed over my chest and I tilted my head to the side, letting my wet, shaggy hair fall into my eyes. How cumbersome.

Growing up in the desert had taught me to respect the harsh climate of my land. Having a sand demon be infused into my soul at birth had taught me to control it, yes, but that didn't take away one ounce of the awe I felt for the deadly, glaring heat of my dry world. It was because of this that water - precious, life-giving water - held a mystery and a beauty unrivaled by that of anything else I had ever seen. Water was a gem, meant to be secreted away, hidden from view of the public eye. In Suna, the only large body of water to be found was in the Cistern - a large, underground cave of sorts, cut and chiseled by hand by the very founders of Sunagakure themselves. The water bubbled up from a hidden source even further below the earth, but no matter how much Suna took from it, this miraculous, ancient well never depleted.

Water was celebrated in Suna. Once a month, on the Day of Rations, every man, woman, and child gathered around the public wells spread out in the courtyards of Sunagakure, vying for their share of the cool, refreshing spring water. Men hauled countless numbers of large, clay vases too and from their houses; women filled cooking pots, bowls, and any other container they could find with this clear, tasteless liquid; and every child, young and old, huddled around the bustling adults, praying for one little drop to spill onto their waiting tongues, shoulders, or fingertips.

Only the extremely wealthy families could afford a set of pipes that ran directly to the Cistern, or one of its outlaying wells. Only the very fortunate could have water brought directly to their homes without having to store it in an underground basement or hidden cellar. But even then, the aristocrats bustled from their comfortable homes to take part in the genial event.

It wasn't always so genial, though. Somewhere along the lines, someone would accuse a nin of not giving them enough water, or giving someone else too much, or taking liberties with their powers and drinking too freely of the precious liquid. These little spats usually ended in deadly fights, and more often than not a lot of wasted water. Only just recently had I taken to showing up at different rowdy wells on this particular day. My silent presence was enough to keep the crowds in check.

I hated it when people wasted water.

It was like wasting life.

But there was one day a year where a barrel of once fought over water could be shared freely with any stranger who happened to amble by. The Cistern's Mercy, some called it; the Cistern's Birth, others. It was a miracle from God, really. A miracle not taken lightly. Once a year, the underground Cistern would fill to overflowing, whatever unseen source that gave it life seemingly bursting at the seems to share its good fortune with all of Suna. Every oasis within a forty mile radius of the Wind city rose higher and higher until it was all Sunagakure could do but take a little of the wealth.

And it just kept coming.

For that one day of the year, water was no longer a commodity, a blessing. It was common-place - expendable. Sometimes it disgusted me, sometimes I was amazed at how a simple change in circumstances - even if but for a day - could change an entire race of hard, angry people into a group of the friendliest faces you might ever meet.

It wasn't fair really. I was standing here, soaked to the bone in an element I rarely ever had the privilege to see - awed, even, at the odd sensation of being completely submersed in total wetness - and a few yards away stood a girl who looked absolutely devastated - annoyed, even! - that this wonderful liquid had the audacity to get her a little wet.

"Gaara," she repeated, breaking me from my thoughts. I snapped my head in her direction, not bothering to temper the annoyance in my gaze.

She paused, as if gathering her thoughts. "It's the third day."

I shot her a bored look.

"We have to go back," she clarified, and nodded in the general direction of where she thought Konohagakure was. I didn't tell her that she was a good eighty degrees off.

When I didn't reply, she let out an exasperated groan.

"Gaara! We have to go back, and we're still covered in blood. I - _we_ - have to report on everything that has happened to us on our mission. Even when you... - when those shinobi attacked us," she amended at the last minute, a nervous look entering her gaze.

My eyes slit, and I was suddenly deeply aware that my slip-up yesterday might have cost us this mission.

"Then don't tell them." We both knew that wasn't a suggestion. It was a demand.

Her eyes widened a fraction, and then she slipped behind a familiar facade of homeland loyalty. "Gaara, it is my duty as a shinobi of the Land of Fire to report on these things with the utmost -"

"You're a spy." I knew I probably shouldn't have said that - after all, part of the plan was to convince our partners of our ignorance -, but I couldn't help it from slipping out, and even as I felt that I was digging myself into a hole, my mind worked in overtime to use this to my advantage.

Her face paled at my accusation - _Hn, proof enough_ -, and she took a shaky step back.

"H-How did you... How did you _know_?"

I couldn't help but smirk at her incompetence.

"You just told me."

Her shoulders fell, and the ashen look on her face almost made me feel guilty for the girl. _Almost_. I was leaning more towards annoyance at her idiocy.

Like I wouldn't have found out sooner or later had I not known in advance. I could have rolled my eyes, but stopped myself from doing such a thing.

The silence which followed was long and awkward. I could feel the tension in the air, but refused to respond to it. It wasn't _my_ problem, after all. This stupid kunoichi could deal with her shattered hopes on her own.

"What... What do you want?" she finally asked, and I felt myself relaxing as she accepted her fate. Good. The quicker she understood her circumstances, the quicker we could get this all over with.

"Your touch," I responded quickly before I could reason myself into doing otherwise. "... freely given."

She nodded, expecting as much, and I at least admired her for that. She knew when to give up.

"We need to come to an agreement, then," she answered stiffly, and I tilted my head to the side, goading her to continue. Suddenly, her bright jade eyes were on me, piercing into my very soul and nearly making me fidget under her gaze. "You will never touch me unless I touch you first, understood?"

I suppose she thought the fire in her eyes would instantly make me agree.

"No," I said simply.

She didn't give up.

"Fine, then. I won't ever touch you of my own free will, and we'll just leave it at that."

She couldn't possibly have figured out that I craved for her to incite that glorious contact of her own free will. After her having done so before, it seemed almost impossible to go back to forcing her into my arms. I would if I had to, of course, but still...

The girl turned away, heading for camp, and I cursed under my breath.

"Wait," I called, and she stopped. Slowly, her body turned until she was facing me again, hands on her hips in a no-nonsense fashion. Good, she was ready to do business.

"You want information, am I right?"

She nodded nonchalantly, but I could see her bottom lip quiver in both fear and anticipation. I stepped closer to her, she stepped further away.

"Then how about this," and my mind concocted a plan even as my lips spoke the words. "For every time you touch me, I will give you a new piece of information."

Her brow scrunched together for a moment as she considered this, then she shook her head. "No. Too vague."

I was beyond frustrated with her now, and only wished to hold her soft little neck between my hands as I suffocated her to death.

"But..." Her single, tentative word brought my bloodlust back under control. I waited for her answer.

"If we... Well. What if I touch you only one place at a time? Like, your hand, or your arm. And every time I do, you have to answer whatever questions I ask you that day."

Now the scales were tipping in her favor. I thought of a way to revise her plan.

"Question." I stated, and watched in a detached manner as she tilted her head in much the same way I do sometimes. "One question, one place to touch. And I don't have to answer it if I don't think your touch is adequate enough."

Now the scales were tipping in _my_ favor, and she knew it.

"One question, one place to touch," she agreed, then deviated from my idea. "You name the place first, and if I agree, then I'll ask the question. The more... _intimate_ the touch, the more difficult the question. If I touch you, you _have_ to answer the question. In full detail. Nothing vague, and no lies, or I break contact and this deal is off."

"And if I answer the question, you have to keep in contact with me... for the entire day. And I can touch you back, in the same place you touch me."

Sakura blanched at that last statement, but quickly masked her features with a calm collectedness.

"If I agree to that, will you agree not to touch me - _at all_ - until I incite contact first? Ever. Not just on the mission, but while we're in Konoha, too."

I considered for a moment. "No."

"Then... then I can't..."

"Then consider this. Agree to everything stated in this first deal, and then..." I paused, thinking for a moment. "Pretend we are courting while in Konoha - even under the scrutiny of your friends. I can touch you whenever I like - in the Leaf Village -, and you must touch me back from time to time."

She blanched again, her face going pale and scrunching up in a show of disgust. "But what do _I_ get out of all this?"

"I'll keep this little deal a secret from your friends, your country, and my own country. If your _precious_ village found out that you failed this spying mission, surely they would be deeply ashamed of you." I knew I was playing on her guilt and her own fears, and was decidedly proud of myself for it. "And if my country found out you knew that _I_ knew you were a spy, then they would kill you on the spot."

There it was again. The scent of her fear. It was so appeasing... so familiar now. She took a step towards me, then hesitated. Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears, but somehow she kept them from overflowing. I knew I was tearing her apart, but couldn't quite feel guilty for my actions. Besides, I had physically torn people apart before. What was the difference in emotionally shredding someone to pieces?

"Okay," she whispered, extending her hand to make her agreement official. "Okay."

My hand slid into hers smoothly, the feel of soft, uncalloused skin driving my senses wild. My fingers wound through her own, and I stepped closer even as she tensed.

"You had wanted to kiss me... earlier..." I murmured, my eyes trailing over the soft contour of her face. Her cheeks flushed crimson at my remark, but she didn't lie as I thought she might have.

"Yes."

The admission made my chest ache, and it took everything within me to stifle the moan in the back of my throat.

So it hadn't been my imagination. She really _had_ wanted me to close the gap between us, when I had been hovering above her in the cave as the storm still raged outside.

A part of me wanted to kiss her then and there, but the more sensible part forced me to step away and gain control of my senses.

I nodded once at the girl, then brushed past her to head towards camp. We still needed to get cleaned up before heading back to Konoha, and we still needed to discuss what kind of lie to formulate for the mission report.

Besides, I would have plenty of time to kiss her again, later.

* * *

_It's been a while, so if anyone seems completely out of character, please tell me._

_For those of you who took the time to read my livejournal from a while back, you'll notice that I skipped deal #1. Decided against using it, since I'm feeling a bit more pressed for time. _

_And the Shukaku/Inner Sakura switch thing? Spur of the moment. Hope it was received well..._

_Ahem, anyways. Thanks for reading, please review, and remember: No contact-ey the Kodu-ey. Thanks._

_- Kodu_

_Oh, and, **oh my goodness**, ff has SPELLCHECK now!? It's a miracle!_


	32. Of Epiphanies

_Dear Readers,_

_Once again, sorry for the ridiculously long wait! I've had a lot of projects to work on as of late, on top of 'parent dodging' (It's a sport. I swear.), but really the only excuse I have for the long delay in this chapter is lack of inspiration. And because "lack of inspiration" doesn't cut it in my own book, then all I can say is I'M VERY, VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT. More things have moved into my life, and taken up what little free time I have available. Roleplaying, mostly_,_ but I've also been experimenting with Photoshop again, making vids with my RL friend, and just generally dealing with a whole load of Real Life issues that don't need to be mentioned on here right now._

_The good news is... I'll be turning 18 in February! Yay, legality, and freedom to write more (My friend and I are actually collaborating on novel at the moment, too. XD)!_

_This chapter is the longest I've written so far, hitting over 6,500 words. Since these chapters are getting longer, and I'm trying to get back into the routine of things, expect an update every two weeks or so. -grins-  
_

_Finally, finally, finally! I'm excited about this chapter, because we finally get to a point where Sakura and Gaara can move past the, "Ah, well... they make me feel all weird..." point, and onto the actual attraction! -dances-_

**_THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS!_**

_Also, if you would like to contact me on AIM, just PM me and I'll give you my screen name!_

_On to the story!_

_- Kodu_

* * *

**Chapter 32**

* * *

**_- Sakura -_  
**

Haruno's don't run.

They make tactical retreats.

Bathing in the creek had been quick and cold, and left me feeling dirtier than when I was covered in blood_. This _is why I dismissed my friends bluntly, in favor of taking a nice, hot shower back at home. _This _is why I walked so quickly towards the gates of Konoha, past them, and to the city beyond.

... Not because my creepy teammate was staring at me, and had been since our little encounter this morning.

Because Haruno's don't run.

... Unless common sense dictates they should.

Still, the look in his eyes - weird, how it was easier for me to read his hollow eyes than his non-existent facial expressions - was very disconcerting. Especially since it had been trained on me for the longest time now; so long I had grown accustomed to the light, prickling sensation which tickled the back of my neck every time he glanced my way.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ignore how my hand still quivered from where I was holding that pencil earlier. Or maybe it had begun shaking long before that? I didn't know, but it was almost a silent relief to blame my shot nerves on the fact that I had had to _lie _on the mission report earlier. I wasn't used to deceiving other people - that much was obvious, with how easily Gaara had found out my little spy secret -, and when the act was unavoidable, my conscious constantly berated me for it.

At least I had that annoying little voice in the back of my head to offset the guilt.

Inner Sakura was shameless.

'Did you feel that... that _thing?_' she asked, her - my? - voice echoing inside my head.

Of course I had felt it; that evil presence that had invaded the inner most reaches of my mind, laughing at the weakness of my psyche. It was strong enough to keep me quaking even now, hours after the initial encounter. Strong enough to keep my mouth - and my mind - firmly shut to the possibility of trying to figure just what, exactly, had seeped into my head.

Feigning ignorance did not bode well with my inner voice.

It was also embarrassingly ineffective, at best.

_Be quiet_, I berated her, when her fears and complaints became too much. I was trying to focus on putting one foot in front of the other without falling flat on my face, and praying that I could keep it up long enough to get me to my house in one piece.

I rounded a corner, and when the questioning stare of my friends - and one brooding red-head - stopped piercing me from behind, I took a breath of relief.

It was midday, and I still hadn't eaten anything. My stomach loudly protested this fact, and I was glad for this brief moment of solitude. The blush on my face would only have been questioned, and I would have had to explain how I skipped breakfast to scrub off the last remnants of blood which streaked every part of my body. That would bring up the question of why I was bloody in the first place - _'Didn't you write on your mission report that everything had been 'routine' and 'boring'?'_ -, and that was something I wasn't prepared to handle this early in the morning.

Go home. Go take a shower. Go to sleep.

Those three simple tasks were the driving force behind what kept one foot moving in front of the other. My eyes drifted to the dirt path I was walking on. My body was jostled between the throng of people moving about Konoha today, and something in the back of my mind pricked at the odd sensation of...

... Of touch.

Blinking, I froze in the middle of the street, ignoring the protests of everyone around me, righting my lost balance when someone knocked into me from behind. It was still cold out, but the sun was bright, and the sickening sensation of an unshakable _wrongness _settled deep into the pit of my stomach. As if I was anticipating heat, and got a chill instead. Like biting into Pocky, and realizing someone had dipped it into a cup of hot sauce.

A man brushed my left shoulder, and I flinched back. The motion was too harsh, too sudden, because I only accomplished running into a woman on my right. The bag of groceries she was carrying was knocked out of her hand, a few stray fruits being trampled on by the careless crowd. My eyes widened as she turned to me, a string of protests flying from her mouth.

_Touch._

The thought was so jarring, so overwhelming, that I didn't have enough time to care about the jaded lady in front of me.

I spun on my heel and stumbled through the sea of people, leaving a trail of angry individuals in my wake. _Breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out..._ It was all I could do to focus on such a simple task. An abrupt coldness spread across my skin as I stepped into an alleyway, letting the shadows cool my raging nerves. Claustrophobia had hit hard.

But I needed to focus right now. Something was tickling at the edge of my consciousness, and I absolutely _could not_ ignore it! This wasn't some simple solution to a petty problem. This wasn't me remembering to do my laundry, or to finish up my homework, or to contact Sasuke as soon as I could. It wasn't even about the mission the Sandaime had assigned me.

This was about Gaara.

_Gaara can't touch._

I slumped against the wall, trying to calm the hurricane that had once been my thoughts. Everything flew by me in disjointed images, now. Like I was watching life pass by on a broken mirror. All my memories were _there _- they were just a little bit displace, and flipped around, so I was forced to view them at a different angle. All the times he had taken me into his arms, all the feigned tenderness, the intensely real threats...

It felt so odd to lean my head against the cold building in front of me; to feel the scrape of brick scratch gently down my cheek. I shivered, even though I wasn't that cold.

I was on the edge... _the very edge_... and if I just took one more step forward...

_Gaara can't touch._

There was something important to those words.

It made up his very existence, didn't it? To not be able to _touch _- I couldn't grasp it. To never feel the heat of skin on skin, to never know the safety of another's embrace... To live life in that not knowing. To go through each day having to _see _it - the brush of fingers when an object is passed between two people, a helping hand up when you've fallen to the ground - ... to _see _it, but to never _feel _it.

My eyes clamped shut as I dug my head further into the solid wall in front of me. Right now, with my world tilted on its axis, and my life spinning around me at an impossible speed, I needed something sturdy to lean against, so I wouldn't topple over in confusion.

... _Gaara can't touch._

Clenching my jaw, I tried to sort through the mayhem of my mind so I could grasp hold of this simple, yet earth-shattering concept.

Humanity as a whole was such a touch-oriented people, that to imagine a day without it was to practically strike that day from your memory. How would one cope? What alternative methods would you have to turn to, to fill that void?

I shuddered to think of what I _knew _that red-headed boy had filled his emptiness with.

I nearly gasped when I realized I couldn't blame him.

"Sakura." The sound of my name stopped those maddened thoughts in their tracks, and for a moment I was almost _thankful _for the callous nature of such an abrupt interruption.

"Sasuke," I said on a sigh, pausing a moment before turning around to face the boy I so adamantly adored.

My reaction to him was an interesting thing, yet so unfamiliar I nearly flinched away from my own feelings.

My gaze roved his features, drinking in every aspect of his perfect form - from soft, unblemished skin, to the hard, distinctive lines of his body. I was like a woman starved, and in that moment of being reunited once again with my idol, I sank back into old habits. It was natural for me see the Uchiha prodigy raised on a pedestal - a shining example of Konohagakure's talent and ability -, and yet to always view him as distant, untouchable.

Yet, at the same time, my mind shied away from his cold glare. I couldn't meet the gaze of those beautiful, black-as-night eyes. Not because they were harsh and unforgiving, but because they were _hollow_.

...Almost as hollow as Gaara's eyes.

Only, with the Sand shinobi, at least _something _sparked there when I touched him.

With Sasuke... there was nothing. Not when I poured out my adoration onto him. Not when I rendered my heart his for the taking. Not when I worked hard to build myself up in his eyes - to please _him _- to impress _him _- _it's all for him_...

"Have you found out anything about the Sand bastard?" Sasuke's voice was firm and to the point.

_Oh_.

And then I knew.

My breath came out in a broken whisper.

"Gaara can't touch."

... _But he can touch me._

******-**

-

-

-

"Sakura, darling? Is that you?"

As I shut the front door to my house behind me, I was surprised to hear a rather familiar voice call out from the kitchen.

"Dad?" My voice sounded hesitant - incredulous. He wasn't supposed to be back for another three days, at least!

A dark brunette head poked around the corner, and I was drawn to the easy smile and eyes that were a mirror-reflection of my own.

"How was training?" He called behind him, as he darted back into the kitchen. Something that smelled utterly delicious came from that general direction, and my feet carried me towards the smell.

I had to be very careful around my parents, concerning the mission I had been appointed. Living in a house full of shinobi, we had learned long ago not to pry, but that didn't keep us from slipping up every now and then - it was only natural for us to want to trust each other. Being ninjas of the Land of Fire, though, meant we had certain duties to uphold - the safety of the village being more important than the feelings of those close to us.

I couldn't tell him anything, but I knew he wouldn't mind, in the long run.

"Good," I answered simply enough, and he didn't push the matter.

Before I could fully settle myself into a chair at the kitchen table, a bowl of rice was placed in front of me, and beside that another bowl of miso soup. He stuck a plate of meat and veggies in the center, then sat in the chair across from me.

My mouth was watering.

"Thanks, dad!"

It took me barely a minute to shamelessly devour an entire bowl of rice before turning my attention to the soup - it never stood a chance.

"Woah, woah! Slow down there! The food's not going anywhere." He eyed me speculatively when I glanced up. "Aren't they feeding you properly down at the Academy?"

I blushed, a little bit insulted. "Dad! I graduated the Academy _ages _ago."

He seemed nonplussed. "Oh. Well, I think I need to have a talk with that sensei of yours. He's pushing you too hard."

I blanched at the thought, dropping my chopsticks and barely hearing as they clattered noisily against my plate.

"What?" he asked, watching my reaction with that easy smile still plastered onto his face. "I don't like my daughter hanging around so much with some old perver-"

"_Dad!_"

His mischievous smile nearly broke my resolve.

"You can't just say those kinds of things about Kaka-sensei! He's a great ninja who has-"

"He's lazy,"

"-spent his entire life serving our-"

"He's always late to any kind of meeting,"

"-country to the fullest-"

"And he reads porn - in _public_."

"- of his ability..." My little speech tapered off in lieu of my father's logical reasoning.

Every bit of it was true, of course.

The man in front of me laughed, little wrinkles showing up around his eyes. They made him look older, but he couldn't help it - he smiled too much.

"Okay, okay," he conceded, holding up his hands in defeat when my scathing glare became too much for him. I couldn't stay mad at him for long, though, and found that his smile was contagious.

"So, how was your day?" He settled for something easy as he dug into his own plate of food.

It was in that moment that I realized... I had missed this. This normalcy... this _easiness_. Was life really that simple? Was it really just a matter of wake up, go to work, come home, and sleep? It hadn't been like that for what felt like ages, and it all began the day I ran into a hot-tempered red-head. My thoughts deviated for a moment, and so I didn't notice my father staring at me in slight concern, until he said something.

"Not so good, I take it?" He said it as a question, but it sounded more like a confirmation to himself.

I just nodded a bit, thinking about my morning with Gaara, and then my unexpected meeting with Sasuke. I had asked my teammate about the Chuunin exams - Were they hard? How was Naruto doing? Was the competition tough? Who were they teamed up with, with me gone? What stage of the exams were they in now? He had only answered the last one, mentioning something about the Forest of Death, before touching a strange mark on the side of his neck.

Funny, I hadn't thought Sasuke was one to get a tattoo.

"... It's about a boy, isn't it?"

My head shot up abruptly to see that my father's face had gotten a few shades lighter. He looked unhealthily pale, and my eyes widened as he continued on this train of thought.

"It's _always _about a boy. Is it the Uchiha? I swear, Sakura, if he's hurt you..."

Of course, my dad knew about my crush on Sasuke - _everyone _knew, because every normal, heterosexual girl my age had a crush on the prodigy. Save Hinata, of course. It was obvious where her intentions were, though I never knew how she could find someone so loud, and brash, and _orange _attractive.

"No, no, no!" I held up my hands, shaking them slightly, trying to get him to stop before he could even start.

He watched me for a moment, weighing his options, trying to decide whether or not I actually was okay. Then, with a relieved sigh, he turned his eyes back onto the bowl of rice he was now poking at.

"Well, your mom will be home soon, anyways."

He seemed infinitely relieved by this fact. It was every father's nightmare to talk to his little girl about _boys_. That was right up there with periods and feelings. Life just wasn't supposed to work that way.

Sighing myself, I finished off a second bowl of rice, then scooped a few veggies into the empty dish.

Yeah, it would have been awkward beyond belief to talk to my dad about Uchiha Sasuke...

... But that wasn't the boy who was occupying my thoughts at the moment.

Tapping a slow rhythm against the table with the side of my fork, I thought about the odd shift in emotions that had occurred earlier this afternoon. The actual shifting had made me feel sick to my stomach, and utterly helpless, and even after those inescapable waves of feeling had passed, the revelation that had come to me then left me shaking and afraid.

I didn't hate Sabaku no Gaara.

Despite his homicidal tendencies, despite his various threats... No matter the fact that he had forced me into his arms countless times, had threatened my teammate's life, had stolen my first kiss, and shaken me more than I ever thought imaginable...

Despite all of these things, I couldn't find it within me to hate the boy.

He was just too... compelling to hate. His eyes were utterly haunting, and the enigma of his character was a puzzle my advanced mind hadn't been able to crack. I was inexorably drawn to him, even when my natural instincts told me to run.

I didn't pity him, either - he made me too _angry _to feel that.

So... where did that leave me?

'You liiiike him,' piped in my annoying inner voice, and I nearly winced at her smug tone.

_No I don't!_ I protested inwardly, blanching at the thought. Me? Like Sabaku no Gaara? Now _that _was one for the history books.

'Well, _I_ do.'

_Shut up_.

I was fairly certain that if I dared open up my heart and showed that little monster of a boy any kind of affection, he would take it as a weakness, and either kill me, or pick away at my emotions until there was nothing left to prod at.

And then I would be worthless. I wouldn't even be needed for my _touch_.

My breath caught in my throat as the fog which had been clouding my mind was slowly lifted.

Gaara was selfish in his need to touch me, but I... I kind of _liked _that selfishness. It made me important in his eyes - even if it was grudgingly so -, and that in itself showed that I meant more to him than what I meant to...

_Sasuke_.

I waited for the echo of his name to stir the nest of butterflies I had so adamantly fostered within my center for the longest time. I was surprised when I felt absolutely nothing at all. I tried to conjure up the feeling, tried to force my body to remember that light-headedness I always got when thinking about the prodigy, yet still that nothingness remained.

I tried something new.

I turned my thoughts to visions of red hair and intense, black-rimmed eyes. Images of that confident, smug air broke through that little nest of pleasant thoughts of the boy I had hidden away in my mind. Blood mixed with feather-light touches, seething anger blended with uncontrollable need. I remembered his warmth, and the burning looks he shot my way. I could practically hear his voice, like a raspy scrape running along the side of my neck, weaving through my ears, smothering me in its inhuman intensity.

My fork dropped to the table as a wave of nauseating sickness overwhelmed me. It was like the butterflies laying dormant in my stomach had increased tenfold, and were now stirred into a frenzy, beating mercilessly against my insides, trying to find a way _out_.

The reaction was as violent as the boy that had caused it.

And I knew, then, that something _wrong _was happening; that something sick had taken over a part of my mind, and left me feeling breathless and cold.

The feelings I held for Sasuke faltered and moved, seemingly making way for this new emotion that had taken up residence in the pit of my stomach.

I didn't hate Sabaku no Gaara.

_I will never-_

'Of course, it's obvious that-'

_-in a million, billion years-_

'-despite what you try to think, you really do-'

_Like him!_

'Like him.'

"Sakura," my father's concerned voice broke my train of thought. "If it's about a boy..."

"_Dad!_"

* * *

_**-Gaara-**_

"... Gaara. I asked you a question." The firm voice of a rather irate Sand team leader echoed through the room, falling flat and dead before my cool gaze.

"I know," was my monotonous answer. I said nothing more, and Baki might have _ordered _me to respond, had he known the effort wouldn't be useless.

After returning from Konoha's main gate, my siblings and I had made our way back to the run-down apartment our team leader had rented us. Kankuro, as was in his nature, rambled on about some mundane thing or another. He had gotten closer to that little pale-eyed weakling, it seemed, and through his brash nature had wheedled out a good amount of information regarding her Kekkei Genkai, and the benefits it reaped for Konoha. Temari herself had even mentioned her time spent with the lazy nin she was teamed up with, and how his tactical prowess rivaled even her own - a difficult obstacle that would have to be overcome, should the situation of an invasion arise.

... And what did I know of Sakura?

The question was almost as loud and nagging as the ghost of a voice that had entered my mind for those few brief moments earlier in the day. I was thinking about such a voice when my teacher broke my train of thought again.

"Gaara..."

I glanced up to match his steely gaze, and nearly smirked when he averted his eyes after a few moments of looking my way. No matter the fearlessness he professed to have, Baki was just like all the others who feared my existence. He was no different from the crying child who shuddered in terror when my shadow passed over their form. He was no braver than the cowering assassin who pleaded for mercy when caught within the deadly grasp of my sand. He was the same as my father, whose emotions melted together into a giant, confusing vat of fear, contempt, and inexorable hate; the same as my siblings, who stood by my side now, seemingly unaffected by my presence, yet silently quaking in their own pitiful minds - I could _smell _it on them.

Still, I didn't reply to his question. If he wanted an answer, he would have to spend the effort asking me in a more straightforward manner. It was annoying when he skirted around the truth, all for the possibility of preserving his own insignificant life.

"He says nothing happened."

Three sets of eyes - including my own - turned towards the owner of the voice. Leave it to Kankuro to make such a stupid mistake as to speak _for _me.

Slitting my eyes, I turned towards my brother, fighting back the blatantly Tanuki-driven urge to growl at him. He seemed unaffected - I blamed these ridiculously long spans of time we spent on those mundane Konoha gate-guarding missions, really. Had Kankuro been in my company a bit longer, he would have had the common sense to back down, to shy away from the glare I shot in his direction, or to instantly take back those seemingly harmless words he spoke.

Nothing was harmless.

Speaking for me was the same thing as trying to control me, in my eyes. Control... was something I valued - one of the few things, besides bloodshed, that I strove for. I had enough trouble fighting for control with an annoying Bijuu eating away at my sanity. I didn't need a hard-headed sibling to take away even more.

"I can speak for myself, Kankuro." The unspoken 'Shut up or I'll kill you' at the end of those words was loud enough to be left unsaid.

It seemed the puppet master had gone deaf, though.

"Yeah, but you're not talking," was his blunt reply, and then he went on to do something positively unthinkable. He spoke _over _me. "I noticed he didn't write anything on his mission report, as usual, but -"

"Kankuro!" Temari's voice, though loud in volume, was still not enough to stop this sudden overflow of idiocy coming from Kankuro. Hadn't he lived with me for over twelve years by now? Didn't he understand the procedures that came with standing in close contact to a mentally unhinged mass murderer? I had thought the rules could remain unwritten - apparently, I had thought wrong.

"- but we all know better than that."

Silence pervaded the room, as thick and tangible as a fog as it touched the spines of the others standing near me, making them shiver with the feel of those icy fingers.

I knew exactly what my brother was talking about, of course. They all did. He was referring to my sanity, my being... my _nature_. He was shedding light on the darkness that my very name could bring.

And, beyond that, he was talking about _Sakura_.

Three sets of eyes turned once again, only now they were directed towards me. Probing. Questioning. 'What does that girl mean to him?' 'Why hasn't he killed her yet?' I could practically hear their words.

I had had enough of this idiocy. Mission report be damned. Baki knew as well as I that the only reason I was here, in Konoha, was to rampage like the mindless beast I truly was - only, they had to keep me in a gilded cage until that time came. If I broke free too soon, their orderly plan to crush the Leaf Village would be ruined. If I lost control while shinobi of the Sand were still in the vicinity, then they would lose countless valuable soldiers. I barely differentiated between loyalties _now_, in my human form. When I became the _real _me - when the monster on the inside possessed the boy on the outside -, then there was no longer such a thing as 'country', or 'village', or 'war'.

There was only death.

There was only blood.

There was only the ghost of a touch that could not be realized, the deeply intense feeling of a life slipping between my shaking fingers.

I felt hot all over, as if Shukaku, the demon he was, had found enjoyment in boiling my blood with Hell's fire. The object of my seething rage took a step back - Kankuro could feel the dark madness radiating from my body, no doubt. I didn't follow simply because I knew that if he ran, he would _die_.

The sand shifted in my gourd, and it was almost a comfort to feel its black power moving along my back - a motion as mockingly soothing as when Shukaku called me his 'pup'.

Yet that was my existence, wasn't it? A mockery. A parody of twisted love.

Scowling, I breezed past my sensei and my siblings, not looking back as my sand seeped out of the gourd of its own accord, hissing and snapping at them like a wild animal. It wouldn't kill them, of that I was certain, but it would at least remind them _why_, exactly, they should fear me.

-

-

-

-

By the time the sun had set, I found myself on the rooftop again. It was quickly becoming a familiar haunt of mine, a place of refuge when the world's stupidity became too suffocating. The air had shifted since the first sleepless night I had spent in Konoha; shifted from warm, muggy, yet almost comforting, to a colder bite. The weather here was ridiculous. Unpredictable. It changed from hot, to cold - sometimes slow, sometimes fast...

Like the pink-haired girl.

My mind shied away from the thought, even as my inner demon purred at the memory of her touch.

**'Our addiction is sweetly enthralling.'** His voice echoed loudly in my head, and I cursed under my breath at the implication of those words.

"She's _mine_, not yours." Spoken aloud, because I was alone up here.

An amused chuckle rang in the space between my ears.

**'You still haven't figured it out, have you?'**

I froze, my body as cold and rigid as the frost that had begun to settle along the ground below.

_Figured what out...?_ Was this all some sort of sick twisted source of amusement for Shukaku... or did his motives run deeper than that?

**'If you must ask, then I'm not telling.'** If a disembodied voice could sound smug, then the Tanuki had perfected the ability.

_Shukaku... _Somewhere along the way, as my life had shifted from a shaky sort of sanity to a manic madness, I had gotten used to threatening something that was a part of myself - threatening _myself_, in a way, though I denied the demon hold of my mind with ever fiber of my being.

Silence followed his statement, and though I usually valued the sound of it, at this moment I could have screamed at the Bijuu for leaving me in the dark.

_Tell me_.

My fist clenched, as if doing something physically would somehow help my mental situation.

**'Hm... no.'**

He was mocking me again, laughing in the face of my confusion.

_Tell me_.

**'Your whimpers are worthless, pup.'**

"Dammit Shukaku, tell me!"

"... Gaara?"

Another voice broke through my psyche, and my head snapped in the direction it had come from. I could feel the madness glinting in my eyes, feel the anger seeping through the pores of my skin, and did nothing to alleviate the wrath directed towards this interruption.

Kankuro.

I could have killed him then and there.

Shukaku's chuckle reverberated in my head. He had known my brother was standing there all along, while I had been too distracted to notice the other's presence without the help of my sand demon.

My eyes slit, and I turned an icy blue gaze to my sibling.

"Leave."

It was a simple command, so hopefully he would have the intelligence and sense of self-preservation to follow it.

"Gaara." The way he said it, it almost sounded like a 'no'. Firm, unyielding... but enough hesitance to make me not kill him on the spot, simply because his tone of voice was too demanding. He knew he was walking a dangerous line by talking to me like this. He _knew _it... yet he still continued to risk his well-being over and over again. First by talking _for _me... now by blatantly disobeying my commands.

I lifted up from my crouched position, and though I wasn't nearly as tall as the puppeteer, my presence was intimidating enough to make the other take a slow step back.

He had been taught from birth to avoid me, to appease me when avoidance was impossible, and to run when I was incapable of being pleased.

I said nothing to his defiance. My sand spoke for itself. It spilled out from the gourd at my back, slithering around my ankles like some malleable snake, curling along my legs and rising up in a protective embrace. Separate tendrils spread out, testing the shingles of the roof, touching them as if that base sensory mechanism might overload my own mind.

It did, sometimes.

Shukaku made me feel through the sand when the experience might suit his purposes. That was part of the addiction - part of the reason why killing was such a euphoric drug. To someone deprived of touch, even the simplest things - even the _sickest _things -, made all the difference. I felt through the deaths of others - by running my hands across their mangled, dying bodies, and staining my fingers with the very thing that gave them life. This alone was enough to unhinge me, enough to make me crave that contact over, and over, and over again.

When Shukaku opened up my mind to _his _senses, and made me feel what _he _felt...

That's when I lost control.

"So you _want _to die?" My sand advanced even as my victim began to retreat, one step at a time. "Hn. I hadn't taken you for suicidal, Kankuro."

Something flashed in his eyes - eyes that looked like ou- _his _father's -, and he froze from his defensive action, shuddering slowly when my sand reached his ankles, the fabric around them, and began sliding along the bandages roughly. It served as a warning, but it seemed my brother had turned into a statue. If he was a weaker man, he might have closed his eyes and started begging for mercy by now. That was at least one thing our like blood shared - stubbornness.

"Gaara, stop this."

Fear. It was permeating his breath.

"Why? I'm having fun." I couldn't help the sadistic smirk that ghosted across my lips. How long had it been since I'd truly relished in the terror of another? When it came to that Sakura girl... her fear didn't amuse me. It angered me. Other people were fun to mess with, to crush mentally like I could crush them physically.

_Scrape, scrape, scrape_. The sand became more urgent, rising, hardening, and digging more fiercely into his leg.

"G-Gaara..."

Aha! There was that fear I so adamantly adored, and so viciously hated. It was manifesting itself, now, and I could practically see how Kankuro inwardly kicked himself for showing weakness like that.

"Gaara, I need-"

_Scrape, scrape, scrape._

"Gaara, the reason I-"

_Scrape, scrape, scrape._

"I didn't mean-"

_Scraaaaaaape._

"It's about Saku-"

_Riiiiip_. The sand tore through the the fabric of his pants, cutting into his skin like a knife. The scent of blood assaulted my senses, and a flash of feeling jolted through my body, but I made no move to hint that these changes had occurred.

Kankuro winced, but didn't retreat like I thought he would.

"_Gaara, listen to me!_" Heat and stubbornness tore through his gaze, and for the first time since this 'conversation' had begun, Kankuro leveled his eyes with mine.

I didn't stop, of course. The Sand nin threw tantrums like this all the time - the only reason he was alive right now was because he usually repented soon after. That, or Temari broke in to quell the burgeoning fight.

Instead, my sand acted quickly, tendrils lengthening and expanding to surround the other in an unbreakable cocoon. He didn't struggle - he had more sense than that. I shared a lot of the same sentiments as quick sand, really. It was my kin, my cousin, just as the harsh desert itself was my sire, and the evidence of my existence. The more someone struggled, the more that deadly, primal ache in my chest beckoned me to finish them off; to pull them deeper into their demise.

Before I could cover up Kankuro's annoying loud mouth, he got out a few jarring words.

"_Sakura is going to betray you__ justlikeYashamar--mmphhh!_"

I wanted to kill him.

My fingers itched with the murderous desire.

How _dare _he mention that name in front of me! The idiot! My head throbbed with a familiar pain, and my hands rose up of their own accord to pull at blood red locks. Nothing could relieve the memory. Nothing could erase the past. Nothing could fix that betrayal.

_Nothing_.

It was such a cold, lonely word. A chill ran up my spine, and a wave of nausea made me want to retch.

_"Gaara... I asked you a question."_

Baki hadn't simply asked me a question. He had taken a kunai, ran it across my skin, and pricked the tip of my finger. His words weren't an interrogation - they were a torture, and a subtle torture, at that.

_"Gaara. Have you grown... attached to the pink-haired kunoichi?"_

That was the prick; the cut so tiny I hadn't even noticed it until, moments later, my own thoughts had washed over the ignorable wound like salt water.

Because he wasn't asking me if I had grown attached to Sakura...

He was asking me if I would kill _them_, were they to kill _her_.

And that, in turn, brought up another question: Was the kunoichi now in my line of protection?

She was my possession, yes... but would I go to great lengths to _protect _her? The answer was obvious during our mission, when those Sound nin had attacked. The sand had risen to shield her without me having to consciously command it to do so.

... Or was that Shukaku's psyche coming into affect?

No, no. The demon wouldn't protect her. He had tried to kill her not moments after the event had occurred, when Sakura had gotten in my way, begging with me to spare those shinobi's lives.

And yet...

I couldn't call on Shukaku right now. I knew he wouldn't answer my questions, anyways, but if I called on the demon while Kankuro was still in the sand's grasp - while my mind was still shakily trying to piece itself back together - then I would surely kill him.

"Tell me..." I whispered raggedly, still fighting back the urge to spill the contents of my stomach. My head hurt, blinded me with inner turmoil, and I hated myself for appearing so weak.

The sand receded a bit, just enough to let Kankuro breathe again. He gulped in what precious air he could (My 'favor' was unpredictable; I could suffocate him again simply because the winds might shift.), then turned wide eyes to my trembling form.

"Tell me why."

"Gaar-"

"_Tell me why!_"

I was desperate now, and I needed _answers_. Why did Kankuro think Sakura would betray me_ like Yashamaru_? What was Shukaku hiding from my own mind?

"Because she doesn't-" He hesitated, but the feral growl which tore from my throat persuaded him to continue. "She can't _love _you!"

My body jerked, like someone had just stabbed a kunai into the hollow space where my heart should have been, in an attempt to fill that void with _something_.

Love?

... Love?

I didn't understand where love came into the equation.

"I don't want her love." My body was still tense, still on the offensive, yet my voice had calmed considerably.

Kankuro visibly relaxed. I suppose he figured that, if his mentioning 'love' didn't make me kill him, then nothing would.

"Gaara. I don't think you really understand-"

I snapped again, my cold, calculating gaze sizing up the helpless sibling at my nonexistent mercy.

"I _understand _perfectly. Love is betrayal." A pause, then, "... I don't want her betrayal."

Kankuro blinked at my logic, as if he didn't already know the definition of 'love'. The idiot thought I wanted it? He thought I was weak enough to willingly suffer through such pain? Love brought nothing but regret and a stinging, biting ache.

I had never understood why _anyone _would want love.

The puppeteer shifted uncomfortably, and it was then that I released him from my sand's hold, letting him fall unceremoniously onto the shingled roof.

"Gaara... She can't love you because she's from a different village." He sounded almost sad by this fact.

"_I don't want her love!_"

Was he simply dense? Or was he ignoring my words?

Kankuro scowled, the set of his mouth depicting his struggle to find an answer to this.

"Then what _do _you want, Gaara?"

... What did I want? Her touch, her scent... the comfort and anger of watching her sleep, the desire not unlike bloodlust that she sparked within my being...

"Her loyalty."

He wasn't pleased with this answer.

"She's not from Suna."

"I don't care."

"We've been sent here to destroy her village."

"I don't care."

"I don't want her to _hurt _you!"

"I don't care."

"_She's going to hate you!_"

"I don't care."

Kankuro blinked, then took another step back, a kind of coldness settling into the look he shot my way. He didn't have to speak, because the answer I would give to his question had already been stated in my words.

Would I kill them if they killed her?

Yes.

Yes, I would.

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

_I've decided to write "To Be Continued" at the end of each chapter... until the very end, where I will lovingly write, "The End." This'll eliminate any confusion as to whether or not I'm continuing. _

_It would have been great to see this in Kankuro's point of view. It was hard to express, but the reason he seems so confrontational is he's worried about Gaara's well-being. _

_Well, 'till next time!_

_- Kodu_


	33. Of Late Night Coincidences

_Two months isn't too horribly late... right?_

_-dodges rotten tomatoes!-  
_

_Ah, well... I make it up to you with a super long chapter, and fluff!_

_- Kodu_

_P.S. My brain is too breaky to proof this. I apologize for any errors!  
_

* * *

**Chapter 33**

* * *

_**- Sakura -**_

Cold.

The air felt cold, and I didn't know what to do.

Ice invaded my lungs like shards of glass, yet I wasn't cut - I didn't bleed. I was suffocating, trying to swallow the coldness that blocked my throat, and trying to spit it up at the same time. I'd felt this before, recently, and in an oddly resigned state of being I accept the fact that I was, quite obviously, _dreaming_. It felt too ambiguous to be real... almost too _real _to be real. But that was talking in contradictions, and that was something only crazy people did.

I blinked the frost from my eyes, but they only glazed over with a thicker layer of ice. Frozen open. Unable to close - to blink.

I was trapped within this subconscious slide show of memories, watching helplessly as all the mistakes of my life flashed before my helpless gaze at an alarming pace. The images were too bright, too quick, too erratic to follow any sort of pattern. One moment, I was looking into my house, watching as a young Sakura celebrated her first day at the Academy by recounting every tiny detail to her less than willing parents; nothing more than a third-party observer staring through the window to witness the milestone. The next, I was at the Academy itself, sitting in my assigned seat, dutifully listening to the teacher and taking precise notes on the lecture while my eyes strayed towards a certain raven-haired obsession. There was Naruto - wandering the streets by himself - and there was me, five years old, clutching onto my mother's pant-leg, staring wide-eyed at the little boy the entire village shunned. There was something about him that I never understood, but as I grew I had learned - as all the other children of my generation had learned - that to question the blonde on his actions was a fruitless endeavor. He was hated. There was a reason for that hate, but it seemed only a select few knew the true purpose behind such emotions.

I coughed, staring listlessly at the blood which coated the ground in front of me. With each passing moment, it became harder and harder for me to move my legs, or shift my arms.

Red.

It filled my vision in a flood of color, burning through my veins and melting the ice in my throat. It was Gaara. I knew this, I _understood _this... and yet, I couldn't break away from the intensity that overwhelmed me. The sheer force of such aching need pierced my heart, digging a hole through my chest even as it cleared a passage for me to breathe.

What was worse? To suffocate... Or to live hollow, alone, and _dead_.

I awoke with a start, my entire body shaking, my lungs dragging in copious amounts of pure, sweet oxygen. The night air was crisp, cold, and the chill of the evening only served to remind me of the nightmare I had just escaped from.

I couldn't take it any more.

Throwing the covers off of me, I swung my legs around the edge of my bed, let them dangle off the side for a moment as I tried to get my bearings straight, then lifted out of my comfortable little cocoon. Tonight was as good a night as any to go for a random walk through the town. I had spent my entire day off cooped up in the house (Not '_hiding_', I had to remind myself, but '_resting_'.), and now I felt an itch run through my fingers down to my toes. My legs ached to be stretched, and it was without much thought that I slid a light jacket over my night clothes and ran downstairs - past the living room and out the front door. It was well past midnight, but that didn't really matter. Mom was off on a mission in some foreign country, and dad - despite the fact that he was a _ninja _- slept like a log. Sometimes I wondered if his side of the Haruno family was actually another branch of the Naras, but quickly shook the idea. That would mean I was somehow distantly related to _Shikamaru_, and just the thought of such a twisted nightmare made he shiver.

White, curling mist filled my vision as I breathed out a lengthy sigh. It was cold enough for me to see my breath, but not nearly as chilly as a few days ago.

When Gaara had...

I didn't want to think about it.

I didn't want to think about _him_.

And yet, my mind kept wandering along the same path. I couldn't help that my thoughts flowed almost instinctively towards red hair and dark, black-rimmed eyes. I couldn't stop the shudder that shook my whole body - half disgust, half intrigue - when the memory of that hollow gaze swam before my vision. He was a monster. He was a monstrous little boy... but my body didn't seem to care. It didn't see through eyes, or hear with ears. It perceived with touch... and everything it told me about Sabaku no Gaara spoke of heat, and warmth, and _fire_.

My eyes saw only blood and hate, and so my mind told me to _run_, to _leave_, to _escape _the hell that awaited me in his presence.

My body felt something different, though. It felt comfort, if not for the murderous intent held within the arms that trapped me. It felt...

I stumbled over a stray rock, lurching forward, arms flailing outwards to catch myself on thin air. Me entire form paused, teetering on the brink of imbalance. The only thing holding me upright were the tips of my toes, and if I shifted too far in one direction, I got the sickening feeling that whatever unseen force kept me upright would be pulled out from under me. Forward or backwards... forward or backwards... The choice was laid out in front of me, and the decision was entirely up to me. Would I topple forward, towards what I could see - towards something familiar -, and catch myself on the pavement? I might skin my hands and knees, or rip a hole through the soft fabric pants I wore, but it was still better to _know_ where I was falling than to guess at it. What was behind me? Another person? More pavement? If the former, that would be beyond embarrassing if I fell onto some unsuspecting victim. If the latter, then there was a big possibility I would crack my head on the concrete below.

I shifted, leaning forward, taking the lesser of two evils. My eyes clenched shut as I reached out in front of me, searching blindly for a dark image I knew to be hidden within my own mind. I had been staring at the sidewalk the entire time, and yet it felt as if I had only glimpsed it - my attention had been elsewhere, and now I regretted not studying my whereabouts, not knowing exactly what was around me at all times.

Cringing, I landed with an '_oomph_!', my breath leaving in a rush. My hands scraped forward, gliding along the hard ground, and instantly felt raw after the experience. My entire body was stiff, jarred, and my knees ached from taking most of the impact of the fall.

_The lesser of two evils_, I reminded myself with a groan. Out of curiosity, I glanced over my shoulder to see what might have happened if I had fallen in the other direction. Behind me was nothing more than a bush - not exactly "plush", but certainly softer than the pavement I had landed on. Had I taken a chance, I would have come out unscathed, but instead I stuck with what was familiar - a glimpse of darkness that I had forgotten the moment I closed my eyes.

My life was a balancing act.

I should have fallen backwards.

I should have taken a chance.

I should have trusted in the unseen, and the unknown.

_I should let him touch me!_

If I could choke on my own thoughts like I often choked on my own words, then I would have done so then and there. The parallels between this situation, and the more pressing issue that had kept me up tonight did not escape me. Sasuke and Gaara. Two completely different people - one hot, and one so very cold -, yet they were so alike... _too _alike. It was as if my mind could no longer differentiate between the two, and the only thing that kept their personalities from bleeding together was my own sense of touch. How could opposites act like twins? How could twins act like opposites?

Shaking my head, I lifted up off the ground with slow, slightly pained movements. It was time to strike those ambiguous thoughts from my mind. I didn't want to start acting crazy... like _him_.

'_Don't you think it's a little late for that?_' taunted my Inner self.

"Shut up," I growled out loud, not caring to speak to the voice in my head now that I was alone. Now was not the time for me to get in a verbal argument with my idiotic subconscious self, though, and so I tried to cut this conversation short.

'_You and I both know-_'

"I said _shut up_."

'_-that this whole "avoid the demon boy" thing you've got going on isn't going to help anyone in the long run._'

She was right... but I still fought within my own mind to deny it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Acting haughty towards myself probably wasn't the smartest thing I could have done.

'_Humor him._'

For once, she didn't attack me with a mile-long diatribe, but the brevity of her words really hit home.

"That's dangerous, you know." Of course she knew. She was _me_. And I knew as well as any other that giving into that spoiled boy's wants would mean walking a fine, thin line between sanity and disloyalty.

'_So? You've spent long enough skirting around your duties as a ninja. It's about time you get on with this mission._'

"But-"

"_Forming that ultimatum a few days ago was probably the best thing that could have happened._'

"-He..."

'_Sure, he knows you're a spy now, but that's definitely the lesser of two evils._'

I was curious.

"What would have been the _worse_?"

'_He could have found out you were a spy... and killed you for it._'

I froze, my entire body going numb as the words bounced around in my head. _He could have killed me_. I knew this, of course. He had already threatened my life once before, and I knew firsthand that he was fully capable of doing as he said.

But he _hadn't_ killed me.

Not yet.

And it made me wonder why he let me live. Was it because of his mission? Would my death be too suspicious, now that we were working close together on the same team? For some reason, I doubted he would care about some measly mission, or would even consider to put the needs of his country above his own needs. He... wouldn't have called me out on my spying mission, if he was playing it safe. He would have let me believe I had the upper hand. So was that a mistake on _his _part? I didn't know the little red-headed boy very well, but I got the itching feeling that he very rarely made mistakes.

'_Maybe he just wants to touch you?_'

"...That sounds _so _wrong."

The voice inside my head giggled, the surprisingly girlish sound reverberating around my skull.

'_I knooooow. Isn't it great?_'

"You're sick."

'_I'm you._'

"Shut up!"

Those two words reverberated about the buildings I was surrounded by. The echo of my words assaulted my senses, making me cringe away from my own angry tone. Two seconds passed, and a light flicked on in a nearby home. Another one, further down the street, did the same. Realizing now would probably be a good time to make myself scarce - I doubted anyone would appreciate being woken up this disturbingly early in the morning by a screeching racket outside -, I darted into a side alley to escape immediate notice. Of course, living in a town full of shinobi guaranteed that, if I stayed here for too long, someone was bound to find me, whether through a keen eye or simple chakra detection.

My eyes darted around me, looking for some means of escape, before settling heavily on a rickety fire escape just a little ways down the deserted alleyway. I raced towards it, gripping the rusted metal with a shaking hand, putting a small amount of weight to my hold, and visibly winced when it groaned in protest. The ladder was jammed a little ways up the structure, held securely in place by a thick accumulation of rust and grime, so I had to jump to reach the bottom rung. It shuddered, and for an aching moment all I could do was hold my breath and pray it wouldn't give under my weight. The disconcerting tremors ceased, and I sighed in relief. Luck, it seemed, was finally on my side.

It was entirely a matter of using my upper body strength to hoist me up and over the edge. The bright orange rust staining my fingers and the blouse of my nightshirt was ignored. Adrenaline raced through my veins, making my breath come in soft, short gasps. Fleetingly, I thanked Kaka-sensei for his rigorous training routine. They were effective, and applicable to real life, albeit a bit unconventional. Shaking my head of these thankful thoughts, I focused my attention on the task at hand. Infusing chakra into the soles of my feet was a simple, precautious matter. It would look stupid of me to jump from roof to roof, then slip on a shingle or misplaced object. This way, my feet had a firmer "grip" on what they touched, like little pinpricks hooking into whatever I landed on, then releasing the moment the taut muscles of my legs sprung loose again.

I continued to run for a while, reveling in the feel of air whipping through my long, pink tresses. Invisible fingers glided through the locks - tangling them, smoothing them out again -, and I had to fight to keep my eyes open against the soothing sensation. It was like the elements themselves were working together to heighten and stimulate my sense of touch. The cold of the night bit frostily at my arms and face, and yet the chill wasn't harsh or foreboding. It raised goosebumps on my skin, sending a delightful shiver through my body, as the wind stroked comfortingly across my neck. The intense feelings became too much, and for a few seconds I closed my eyes, reveling in that odd sense of weightlessness that overcame me every time my feet left the ground. They remained closed when I was in the air, and then they'd open to make sure I wouldn't loose my footing on a loose shingle or the like as I made my too-swift descent. Closed, then open. Closed, opened.

The last time my eyes opened, I caught a glimpse of a shadowy figure before pummeling into them full force.

* * *

_**- Gaara -**_

There was simply no rest, was there?

It seemed, after over a week had passed since I'd first seen the pink-haired girl, everything had finally come full circle.

As in our first meeting, I felt the weight of her body knock the air from my lungs. Shukaku, once again, had deigned to remain spitefully still, the only evidence of his mindless sabotage the sickening cackle which reverberated in my head. It felt like a gong had been hit with full force right beside my ear. The beginning _bang _was loud, painful, and the vibrations of each hellish echo bounced off of the rising sound. It rang high and loud, a crescendo rising to excruciating degrees of unexplainable pain; undulating, too, giving it the deceitful veil of relief before surging into higher levels of volume. Tremors racked my body, and I mentally cursed at such weakness. It seemed touch had expanded to invade my sense of hearing, as well.

I groaned, the sound wholly unfamiliar coming from my lips, and lifted up on my elbows to glare down at the girl currently sprawled across my lap. Her forehead was buried deeply in the folds of my shirt, hot breath ghosting through the fabric to tease my skin, and I had the sudden, intense urge to crush her more fully against my body. My fingers itched, but remained frozen, tied to my willpower by an invisible chain. The puppet master did not control the strings; the strings controlled the puppet master.

Irony was an interesting thing. Its mood shifted like the sand. One moment, it flit about the world without a care, dancing on every light breeze, taming every deadly hurricane; content, even, in its frivolous folly. The next, it found simple matters wholly un-entertaining, and in the blink of an eye, dipped its meddling hands in the trials and tribulations of mankind; in places those hands most definitely did not belong.

Irony was bored, and because of this, irony had smacked me in the face.

I growled out at the violation, jaded that such misfortune would _dare _befall me.

Ever since last night, tensions had been high among my siblings and I (Baki, too, but his fret only showed by a deepening of the frown permanently etched across his face.). I wanted to kill Kankuro, to rip his body to pieces and mangle those shredded remains, but Temari had done everything in her power to persuade me otherwise. The force of my bloodlust-ridden gaze had been turned upon her, and in completely contempt I had uttered the only words that came to mind at her open defiance.

"Shut up, or I'll kill you, too."

No one had been taken aback by the declaration. It was a common enough occurrence for me to threaten any one of their lives. Yet, all the same, a chilling coldness had settled upon the four gathered in that dark, secluded room. I never lied, unless it suited my purposes, so every time I had made that threat and _not _followed up on it, either Temari or someone else had found something to curb my interest for the moment, or shed light on how _good _it would be for so-and-so to stay alive - how helpful they could be to me, if I only gave them a chance.

Now was different.

Now, I had no reason to allow any of them to live.

My teammates, my country, my mission all held one purpose: To destroy Konoha.

Sakura was part of Konoha.

If they destroyed the Leaf Village, they would destroy her.

Yet, the kunoichi was _mine_, as well. _My _possession, _my _desire, _my nee_-

Well. My plaything, all the same.

Therefore, my teammates, my country, and my mission all held one purpose: To destroy Sakura.

... If they dared to even _try _to take her away from me, I was certain Suna would be nothing more than a forgotten smear crushed beneath the vast desert come morning.

There had been very few things throughout my life that I had felt remotely attached to. Yashamaru had been one of- But I quickly cast that thought from my mind. When I was younger, I had been rather fond of a raggedy old stuffed bear. Recently, I had fostered an odd connection with my sand - begrudgingly, of course, but I was still fascinated with the sensations I felt _through _my weapon. When blood spilt slickly from a victim's body, I could feel the warm wetness even before it touched my own fingers. When it moved and shifted to block offensive blows, I felt the rush of excitement and adrenaline, as if my own arms had risen to stop the enemy's advances. And in teleportation, I literally became one with the sand. Though my body remained firmly intact, limbs still connected solidly to one another, the sheer breathtaking force of my sand swirling at such intense speeds around me nearly overwhelmed my senses. It was very easy to get lost, to drown in that grainy sea, because I myself felt the heady rush of flight, and the giddy sense of disorientation.

I couldn't imagine not having my sand. It was my senses, my salvation, my protection, my bane of existence.

In that same sense, I couldn't imagine not having Sakura.

She was as vital as my hands, now. As important as my eyesight, and as intoxicating as my blood-drenched sand. She had crawled beneath the emotional barrier I had erected, had evaded the physical barrier of my sand shield, and stood before me now as nothing more than a human facing the open, gaping maw of a demon. She was mine now. Here to slay the dragon, on the foolish pretense that she could fight the monster before her. But each chance she got, she trembled at its dark might, cringing away as she tried to tug her sword out of the beast's grinning teeth. She was mine.

I had made that evident to my team, stating with cold calmness:

"She will not be harmed."

A brief smirk lit up Temari's features, one side of her lips twisting upwards in unconcealed amusement. It lasted for half a second before it was replaced with a look of admonishing concern.

Kankuro only frowned.

He could burn in hell, for all I cared.

True, we had never been on the best of terms, but even lately our quarrels had seemed fewer and far between. His blatant attempt to confront me about Sakura, though, had made my blood boil, and even now I had yet to cool off.

The bastard.

Assuming he had any right to fake concern.

Assuming he had anything authority to _care_.

Baki had made some comment about adjourning the group meeting until tomorrow, and I had taken my leave, escaping to the rooftops to breathe in some fresh air.

Even in the chill of the night, Konoha's air seemed too thick. It was weighted down with too many smells, heavy and sluggish as it tried to fill my lungs. I couldn't help but be frustrated by it. It seemed simply _breathing _was an unnecessarily daunting task in the Fire Country. With a snarl, I had transported from the roof of my apartment to the roof of some unmarked building further away. This particular night had been a bad night to be plagued with perpetual insomnia - I had too much to think about. Pacing from building to building seemed to take the edge off of my murderous thoughts, and so I had done that for most of the night.

... Until a bundle of pink had collided into me.

Irony.

I hadn't even needed to stop and think about who it could have possibly been. Just the fact that she had succeeded in touching me proved that it was Sakura.

The obnoxiously bright pink hair helped, too.

I glanced down just in time to find hesitant jade eyes peering upwards, the glint in her eyes making it known that she was assessing the damage that had been done.

"S-sorry..." she mumbled, a bright blush staining her cheeks. Long strands of ridiculously colored hair were scattered haphazardly across her face, and in a quick, thoughtless motion, I reached down to brush them out of the way, grazing her skin in the process. The caress might have seemed tender, were the motives not entirely selfish. I wanted to touch her, and yet she was reluctant to have me do so for no reason. This time, I had had a purpose. Anything to feel her soft skin, and the slow shudder it sent through my body.

Her blush deepened.

"I'll just..." She pulled back, obviously embarrassed by our close proximity. Her legs were tangled up in my own, one hand resting on my chest while the other scrambled for some kind of hold on the slightly slanted roof we had collapsed upon. We _were _rather close, but I didn't mind, and I didn't want to give up the sensation of such euphoric touch so soon.

"Why are you out so late?"

Technically, it was early. Three in the morning no longer constituted nighttime.

Her eyebrows rose as she tilted her head, shooting me a questioning look. I couldn't blame her for the reaction. I had never been talkative before, and certainly wasn't one to start a conversation, but I so desperately wanted to keep her there - to distract her from the need to scuttle away and put that aching distance between us once again.

Shukaku snorted at my crippling need, taunting me, but I quickly pushed him to the back of my mind. What did he know, after all? He had felt her touch for a brief moment - taken but a sip of the wine. I had guzzled bottles, and now I was utterly addicted.

"I couldn't sleep," she replied softly, glancing down to gaze at my chest.

The irony of that statement actually made me chuckle, though it came out as more of a coughing hiss.

Her eyes snapped upwards, drinking in this new persona of me she had certainly never seen before. I let her stare. It wasn't as if her gaze was unkind - on the contrary, it was simply curious. I had been given worse looks than that, so her fascination didn't bother me. It was only strange, though, that I couldn't detect that hint of disgust I had gotten so used to seeing in others.

"What about you?" Her gentle words betrayed the pointed gaze she sent towards the black rings around my eyes.

"Same."

A heavy silence followed.

"Gaara?"

"Mm."

"Can I get up?"

It seemed she had noticed the awkwardness of our situation, again.

"No."

"... Why not?"

I merely smirked, not caring to reply. She already knew the answer, anyways.

"Gaara?"

"Mm."

"You're an ass."

I blinked, a little taken aback by her blatant words, but highly amused, nonetheless. My features remained calm, passive, as I shifted upwards a bit more, pulling my legs towards me in the process. Soon, I was sitting upright, cross-legged, and had dragged Sakura's only slightly protesting form to my lap. The sand pooled around us, settling comfortably at my side like some overgrown, malformed kitten.

"And you're annoying."

Her demeanor seemed to darken at my words, and she visibly slumped forward as if some kind of weight had settled upon her shoulders. One of Temari's speeches floated back towards my mind, the words gliding before me as I weighed and tested their meaning. Comfort, kindness... security.

Sakura needed to feel secure around me, or else she would never find enough courage to approach me on her own, and touch me of her own free will.

_I suppose that applies to emotional security, as well._

I nearly chuckled again. How odd this would be: An emotionally hollow monster offering comfort to an overly emotional little girl.

My knowledge in this field was glaringly limited. I had never _been _comforted... How was I supposed to comfort in return?

A warmth washed over me as I suddenly became hyperaware of Sakura's heat settled against my chest. My body tensed at the feeling, something within my wanting to lurch forward and bury my hands in her hair - to tug harshly on her pink locks, and force her closer. Thankfully, I reeled in this overwhelming temptation quickly, and settled for clenching and un-clenching my fists at my sides. How was I supposed to be an emotional stronghold for this idiot kunoichi, when I myself shifted from hot to cold in the blink of an eye? One moment, and I could barely control my actions around the girl. The next, and I felt as empty as I ever had, my head cool and collected. None of it made sense, none of it could possibly help me in my new found plight, and none of...-

_Dammit_, my fingers still ached to bury in her hair, and the sensation was getting distracting.

"Sakura?" I questioned, and suddenly the monosyllabic tables were turned.

"Mm."

"I'm going to touch you now." I figured it best to at least warn her, this time.

She tensed, as if directly relating the word 'touch' with the word 'rape'.

Idiot girl.

Before I completely lost control, I leaned forward, not even waiting for a reply from her. My chest bumped against her right shoulder - she had been half-turned in my lap this entire time, as if this position would give her a better chance to run if I did something incriminating -, and wide emerald eyes slowly turned to gaze at me. Her hair was tossed over her shoulder, baring her neck in an oddly enticing way, as if she had intended to take up such a submissive pose. Shukaku, animal that he was, was instantly intrigued by this, his dark aura making itself known in my head, though he didn't speak. His presence was enough of a distraction, but the way her body trembled, shuddering to match the tremors of my own form, was too delicious for me to stay distracted for long.

I leaned in, following nothing but basic instinct, and settled my nose almost hesitantly against her shoulder. I let that motion distract her for a moment, turning my head left and right and breathing deeply her unique scent, while my left arm crept outward. It paused along her back, and as my hand splayed across the middle of her spine, I could distinctly feel the tenseness in her body.

She was afraid.

Though it went against my very nature, trampled over everything I had ever believed in, I realized I would need to find some way to make her _not _afraid of me.

The task would be daunting, for sure.

A flash of anger shot through me as I thought of the injustice of having to take pains to humor my own possession, but I quelled it soon enough, the only outward sign having been the slight shift of my sand.

Sakura glanced at it curiously, her nose wrinkling in distaste, but turned her eyes back on me soon enough.

I leaned in, the leather straps tied around me creaking in protest. My gourd was still hooked to my back, making every movement hindered and uncomfortable. The girl noticed this, and a light seemed to shine in her eyes at the realization. If I wanted to touch her, I would need to take the gourd off first. If I let her go to unbuckle the straps, she would dart. Her devious plan was instantly crushed, in my own mind. I had the advantage of my sand on my side - I didn't need arms to restrain her. She realized this in an instant, her tightened muscles slumping forward a bit in resignation.

But the quick, fleeting thought had given rise to another idea.

"Sakura..." I breathed, pulling back to better study her features.

She eyed me warily before replying, "...Yes?"

"Take the gourd off." My words were cold, and clipped - more like a command than an actual request. Of course, I wasn't used to 'requesting' things from people. I simply demanded.

The kunoichi blanched, another blush dusting her features as she tried to pull away. My hand at her back stopped her from escaping.

"_No!_"

Her declaration was quiet, hissed, and laced with embarrassment, as if I had told her to take off my pants.

I didn't understand her need to be prudish. She was _mine_, she was the only one who could touch me, and so she would do as I bid her. Didn't she understand that?

Still... I supposed I could soften the command...

"Help me?"

It took some effort on my part to add the tone of a question to the end of my words. I was used to cold, monotone replies, or death threats should my demands not be instantly met. I wouldn't ask her 'please' - that was just demeaning.

"... Do I get to ask a question?"

Ah, the deal.

"No."

"W-why not!?"

"Because you're touching my clothing, not my skin."

My cold logic made her furious. She bit her lower lip furiously, thinking about her options, and I was wholly relieved that she didn't draw blood. If she had... Well then. I couldn't be held responsible for my actions.

"I don't _have _to touch you," she pointed out petulantly.

Oh, but she really, really did.

That fact shone in my eyes, and I knew she saw it.

We were at a stalemate. On one end, she wasn't about to strip me of my gourd - it seemed far too provocative in her own eyes. On the other end, I wasn't about to let her go until she did. I had been playing this game longer than she, though, and knew that I only had to wait before her mental barriers chipped away at the emotional barrier keeping us apart. The moon shifted in the sky, casting our shadows at a different angle amongst the darkness. It had an interesting effect, and in the dark of night it seemed our shadows had melded into one. The occasional limb was splayed haphazardly across the moonlit bathed roof, the shadows elongated, gangly, giving off a monstrous appearance, but for the most part Sakura and I had merged into a single being.

Interesting.

The thought intrigued me, and if I hadn't been immersed in such peace at the moment, the errant, demonic chuckle which echoed in my skull might have annoyed me.

**'You have much to learn, pup,'** Shukaku stated silkily, and he retreated again before I could question his words.

I pondered the strangeness of the demon's words, but was distracted the moment Sakura's small hands pressed gently against my chest.

My eyes snapped downwards, staring at the offending appendages, and for a split second both of us froze in place, trapped in a lack of time or solidity. The ground swallowed us whole, and the aching pressure set my heart beating faster.

She shifted, turning around to face me head on, her knees straddling my waist.

My pulse quickened.

Her movements weren't graceful, or poised, or practiced. Sakura fumbled blindly over the buckles of my leather straps, her fingers clumsy and unsure, like she had never before encountered such a strange mechanism. I wryly thought that Shukaku couldn't have chosen a more incompetent girl to allow through my ultimate sand defense. Her weakness disgusted me... and yet, it reassured me, as well. I knew that, even without the protection of my subconscious shield, this kunoichi still wouldn't stand a chance against me.

I leaned back slightly, shuddering as her fingers brushed gently along the fabric of my shirt; eyes half-lidded as I reveled in this light, feathery touch. All too soon, her task was complete, and my gourd was pushed to the side in absent-minded haste. She moved as if to pull away, obviously uncomfortable with out provocative position... But I wouldn't allow it.

I laid down, my back pressed up against the shingles of the slanted roof, wrapping my arms around her shoulders to drag her down with me. She toppled forward with a muffled '_eep!_', her hands darting out to balance herself atop my chest.

My fingers still ached, and without any warning, I buried my hands in her soft pink hair, closing my eyes as slow, violent tremors racked my body. She struggled at first, pushing against me in the delusional hope that I would let her go. When it was obvious that I had no intentions of doing so, she finally collapsed with a weary sigh. I stroked her tresses in silent approval, fascinated by their softness.

Would she protest much if I ripped a few strands out?

I didn't know, but I figured she might, so I resisted the urge.

Long moments passed in completely silence; Sakura, laying on me like some kind of dead weight.

"Gaara?"

The word was muted by my own shirt.

"Mm."

"You are _such an ass_."

* * *

_Ok, ok! The next chapter will be a direct continuation of this scene - I didn't want to drop it, just yet. I decided to leave it here, because there are several things I want to happen, and this chapter has already breached my 5,000 word goal. (Besides, I didn't want to leave you guys with a major cliffie for what I have planned next...)_

_- Kodu_


	34. Of Jealous Rivalries

_I'm sitting here with my half-full can of orange soda, and I keep thinking to myself, "Why is it so hard to update like I used to?"_

_My alter-ego, of course, chimes in, "Because you're busier now than you were before."_

_And then I think, "Well, yeah. But when I really sit down and just write, then I can pump out a chapter in a few hours."_

_Which is, essentially, what happened with this chapter. I'd had a little over 2,000 words written, then picked around in the story 'till I breached the 3k mark. Then something interesting happened. I challenged myself. I said, "Hmm. I wonder if I can write 3,000 words in an hour..." So I tried. And I came damned near close. (Wrote 2,456 words by the end of the hour, bumping this chapter up from a measly 3,000, to a lovely 5,456.) Another hour has passed, and now I'm finished._

_The moral of the story? Sometimes challenging yourself is the easiest way to get things done. _

_Alright. Thank you guys so much for the wonderful reviews for the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one~_

_- Kodu  
_

* * *

**Chapter 34**

* * *

_**- Sakura -**_

I hated that he felt warm.

Absolutely _hated _it.

Because his heat contrasted with the cold night air, his hot breath ruffled the stray locks of hair on top of my head, and his very presence was completely undeniable. I couldn't close my eyes and pretend it was Sasuke holding me, because the smell of desert and death was far too strong, and Sasuke smelt more frigid, more crisp. I couldn't block out the world and pretend I was back home, tucked safely beneath the covers of my bed, and that I was hugging a pillow instead of a frightening little boy, because I could feel each trembling limb that held me, and could hear his labored breathing.

My cheek settled along his collar bone, and I shifted just a bit further up his neck so I could lay my ear on his shoulder.

_Humor him_.

That had become my new mantra, and it repeated over and over in my head.

I was done playing games now. I was sick of being so... so _weak_... and having no control over the situation. All my life I'd been the weak one. In childhood, I had been emotionally distraught when people picked on me because of my _only-so-slightly-infinitesimally-bigger_ forehead. (_'Yeah!'_ declared Inner Sakura, her words complete with the mental image of a fist pump.) I countered those teasing remarks by filling up my brain with all manner of facts and figures, showing up those bullies by rising to the top of my class. It had really been a blow to their pride, too, when they had realized that _Sasuke _was at the head of the class, as well, and that by gaining intelligence, I had gained a lead on the perpetual contest every girl was in to win the brooding boy.

I was _that _much closer to winning Sasuke.

Only... I was too much of a wimp, in his eyes, for him to even acknowledge me. I was petulant, and... and...

_Annoying_.

God, I hated that word. It was worse than a curse. Even when cussing someone out, all you used were pre-designed words that only scraped the surface of their skin, or grazed right past them. There was nothing personal about it. But '_annoying_'. That was as good as a slap to the face. And for _two _people to call me that - frequently, I might add! - was simply ridiculous.

My thoughts were interrupted as Gaara leaned down and nuzzled my neck, his breath coming out in ragged pants.

I swear, this boy was about as cuddle-crazed as anyone could get... and a murderer, to boot! Those things just _did not mix_.

"Gaara?"

"... If you call me an ass again, I'll kill you."

There was a certain tone to his usually toneless voice that made me believe he was actually joking. Then again, Gaara plus death threats was no laughing matter. If I threatened to kill someone, they would instantly know it was a joke, or laugh it off anyways, even if I was being serious. Why? Because I wasn't physically strong enough to kill anyone who might actually pose a threat to me... And even if I managed to get close enough to take away their life, I was pretty certain I still wouldn't deliver a fatal blow. The thought of killing another person... I mean. I knew it was all part of being a ninja, and everything. But to actually stand there and _do _it? To see death before your very eyes? It was frightening, and not something I would wish on anyone.

The red-head below me knew all about death, though, and he had the power - and will - to take away human life at a whim.

He was the perfect weapon. The emotionless shinobi who killed with destructive force; the cold ninja who carried out a mission with detached precision. His country no doubt valued him greatly. Where else could you find a boy so focused on his task? Not in Konoha, that was for sure. The shinobi of the Leaf Village were strong, smart, and capable... but few could call them ruthless. Sunagakure, from all the textbooks I had ever read, seemed the very definition of callous. Gaara was a child of such cold detachment. He was flawless, almost _graceful_, in his desire to kill.

Gaara was the perfect ninja.

... Gaara was barely human.

The thought made me shudder, my spine turning to ice even as the heat of his body made my cheeks flush pink. I had never been this close to another boy before. Oh, sure, there were the occasional sparring matches between my teammates and I where one or the other would pin me down with their weight while I struggled helplessly beneath them, but they always got off the moment I conceded defeat. Admitting defeat to the red-head, though, would either get me killed, or... or _worse_.

I had to be in control of the situation. Yes, he knew I was a spy, and yes, by all accounts I had failed my mission miserably by letting that fact leak out, but I was still determined not to make a complete fool out of myself. Besides, he had agreed to cooperate with my original plan of gathering information about him. This minor setback could easily turn to my advantage, if I would just use the resources given to me. Right now, Gaara was in control of the situation, and I had to think of some way to take back what should have rightfully been mine.

... No. I already knew how to gain some level of power over the sand shinobi.

I only had to _act _on that knowledge.

I paused, wanting to test out this new theory.

"Gaara?"

"Mm."

"... We're supposed to pretend to be 'courting', right?"

The slight lift to his lips showed me he was amused I had brought it up. He didn't answer, only shifted the hand toying with my hair downwards, stroking his fingers along the small of my back. Just that simple motion made my cheeks burn hotter, and I chanced a slow glance upwards to find the redhead watching me in unveiled amusement. I should have been annoyed by his unassuming touch... but I couldn't find the will to hate him for it. Honestly, it felt rather nice, which was a surprise in and of itself. Taking his silent touch as some kind of signal to continue, I took a long, deep breath, then leveled my gaze with his.

I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it just as quickly, licking my suddenly dry lips.

I didn't know what to say.

Obviously, I wanted to come up with something logical, something intelligent and clever that would get this ball rolling, so to speak. I had to report back to the Hokage in a few days, and I needed, needed, _needed _some kind of information to give the man. I knew how to get that information, too, and it was high time I sucked up my own foolish pride - my own hopes and dreams for a much darker shade of hair to run my fingers through - and did my duty as a kunoichi of the Leaf Village.

"Gaara..." I began softly, lifting up as much as his hand would allow to give him as level a look as I could muster. "... I'm going to touch you now."

His breath hitched in his throat - I could hear it - and the hand rubbing absently against my back stilled its movements. For half a moment, the redhead's light blue eyes widened a fraction in complete and utter surprise, before he forced his features into a more neutral position. That, I knew, was not something he had been expecting. Good. I wanted to throw him off guard. I wanted to keep him questioning. When Gaara held all the control in this... this 'relationship', it only left me helpless and begging for some grasp on reality. The disorientation was unnerving, and, frankly, the Sand shinobi himself was downright frightening.

It was high time the tables were turned.

There was a sudden heat in the air that had nothing to do with the surrounding climate. My cheeks still burned a deep crimson, and his piercing gaze was still locked on my wavering features, but in that moment something far deeper, far more primal, had shifted. I felt it, and I knew _he _could feel it, too. As I leaned in closer, I could feel his ragged breath flutter across my nose and tickle the edge of my mouth. It was a frightening concept, to think that I was merely inches away from a boy who had murdered without a second thought just the other day.

No... _No_.

I had to force such thoughts out of my mind, if I was ever going to accomplish this mission. I couldn't quake in such terror. I couldn't cringe at the thought of his touch. He would sense it, exploit it.

So instead, I filled my mind with more logical reasoning.

Hadn't Kakashi-sensei killed countless numbers of enemy shinobi in his lifetime? Hadn't Sandaime-sama done the same? Didn't Sasuke want to kill someone himself?

... Wasn't_ I_ bound to kill someone, eventually?

These quick, angry thoughts didn't quell my fear, but at least it separated that mental classification I had put the redhead in. He wasn't a 'killer'. He was a _shinobi_.

I would believe that, even if I was blatantly lying to myself.

Sighing once, slowly, I shifted off of Gaara, rolling to the side so I was now laying beside him, instead of on top of him. His hand remained at my back, supporting me - or, rather, _trapping _me. If someone had walked up at that moment, they would have seen an image of two lovers laying side-by-side on a chilly rooftop, ignoring the brilliantly shining stars above to gaze at each other with utmost scrutiny. It was a good thing no one was there, then. I would have died of embarrassment. The image manifested in my head already, refusing to leave, and made the blush on my cheeks - the one that had nearly dissipated by now - flare back to life.

Gaara didn't move. His breathing was shallow, and his eyes stared at me unblinkingly, as if afraid my closeness would disappear, or I would go up in a puff of smoke if he moved the wrong way. That inadvertent compliance warmed my heart more than I would have liked to admit. He radiated such an evil, horrifying aura... yet he seemed so _childlike_. It was almost hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this little boy was a weapon capable of destroying all of Konoha. I could barely believe it, and was even apt to doubt my superiors' judgment on this matter.

Sabaku no Gaara, eh?

Surely he wasn't _that _bad.

... Right?

Shaking away these questioning thoughts, I focused entirely on the moment - on the here and the now. On the boy beneath me, and his wide cerulean eyes. He was quaking, I could feel it through our clothing, and I needed to do something to calm both him and myself down.

Talking aimlessly had always helped before.

"Gaara?"

He didn't answer, but the way his eyes snapped up from my lips to my own gaze told me that he was at least listening.

"How... How are you?"

I licked my dry lips, trying to fight back the incredulous smile that tried to break through my composure. After all we'd been through, I was trying to break the ice with small talk? Laughable, really.

"Mm."

"Good, I take it."

If he didn't want to give me full-out words (even single syllable ones) for an answer, I would translate his unintelligible grunts myself. Jerk.

"How's your... ah... team?"

It was the only other thing I could think to ask at the moment. I didn't know anything about him, but I did remember his teammates; the frightening set of the other guy's lips, and the intimidating smirk that seemed to sharpen the busty blonde's features.

Something in Gaara's gaze shifted, but the emotion was lost on me, and gone before I could even begin to fathom what it was.

"Hn. Fine."

Ah, progress! The smile threatening to break my composure grew a little wider.

"Good! So... you're not planning to kill me yet, are you?"

I had meant it as a joke, but the half-frightened, half-scathing glare the redhead shot my way made me think twice about my words.

"Oh... right."

"Are you going to touch me or not?" His voice was cold, clipped, and I knew that he was restraining himself from not crushing me against his chest in an effort to get closer. For the first time since my mission had started, I thought once again about the ramifications of coming so close to an enemy shinobi. Mentally, he was a taxing case. It would be easier to crack a coconut open with a rubber band than to try and pick this boy's brain for anything he wasn't already entirely willing to give. Physically, I'd already seen several bruises manifest on my upper arms from his rough handling, and even one that was plain as day on my wrist - something I'd had to cover up with makeup to keep my father from noticing earlier. Emotionally...

I didn't even want to _think _about the emotional trauma of this whole situation.

I was fairly certain that, once this whole ordeal was over, I'd be seeing psychiatric help for the next five or so years of my life.

Gaara didn't move beside me, nor did he show any signs of preparing for an attack, but the look he gave me was enough to freeze fire, and sent an entirely different wave of chills down my spine.

Oh, right. The touching thing.

_I should probably get on that..._

'I agree!' piped up my inner self, and I nearly rolled my eyes at her too-eager words.

Gaara was still watching me, his eyes still cold, his body tense and frozen, as if prepared for an attack.

I could barely blame him. If _I_ were him, I'd be afraid of me, too! I had every right to smack him, for all the hell he had dragged me through. I let this anger fuel me, give me confidence and strength as I leaned in closer towards the redhead. He... wasn't unattractive, when I really looked at him. Gaara didn't have the stark beauty of Sasuke - the dark, handsome stature and noble, fine features. It was like the Uchiha were bred to be gorgeous, on top of being deadly. Like some kind of night hawk - something one admired from afar, but never dared get too close, for fear of losing a finger or an eye. Gaara wasn't like that. He wasn't starkly attractive, or strikingly gorgeous.

Gaara was like... a snake. Cold, with a nasty attitude, and enough venom to stun the most unsuspecting of victims.

It was that very deadly quality that made him almost... beautiful. His sand was sinuous enough, its movements unnatural, malformed and frightening. And his eyes! Those eyes were a poison all their own - mesmerizing, like the snake had finally charmed the charmer. Heck, he even had the bright streak of blood-red color to warn those around him to stay away!

But he wasn't ugly.

Terrifying, maybe, but not ugly.

Still, I was essentially leaning down to kiss a _snake_. The irony was not lost on me. (Snakes creeped me out.)

My eyes flit upwards, watching Gaara's own gaze fall half-lidded as he watched me come closer. He knew what I was going to do. He expected it. His tense body relaxed just a fraction, but the sand around us slithered back and forth, either excited by what was about to happen, or warning me that if I tried anything funny, I would die then and there.

Or both.

Our lips were a breath apart. My hair had fallen to the side, resting languidly on the other's shoulder and neck, and I tried to block out everything else around me, so all I could focus on was the boy at my side. I licked my lips once, then swallowed hard, not surprised to find there was a lump in my throat that was currently trying to suffocate me. My breathing grew harder, which I was fine with, considering the fact that the Sand shinobi's breathing had been quite erratic for a little while now, and a strange fluttering had started up in my stomach. I felt sick. Throwing up on the redhead would definitely not look good, though. I had to make him like me, after all.

_Oh God, here I go..._

I leaned in, my nose brushing along his, my lips quavering in anticipation, waiting to feel the warm press of his mouth against mine.

_Ohgod ohgod ohgod..._

* * *

_**- Gaara -**_

There was a heat there that I didn't quite understand. I'd never felt warm before - not really. I'd felt hot, and had suffered through the humidity of Konoha's air. I'd breathed in the arid, dry taste of the desert, and suffered in its penetrating heat. But inside, I'd always felt cold.

Now, though, with Sakura mere moments away from kissing me again - _of her own free will!_ - I was struck by how warm I felt on the inside. Part of me didn't like it - I felt uncomfortable, and itchy, like I wanted to crush the girl against my chest and rub her against me to stop that odd ache from growing any further. Another part couldn't imagine living without it. I settled for remaining frozen, letting her make the moves, as long as they remained relatively harmless.

She inched closer, hesitantly, and I couldn't help the hitch in my throat at such intensely close proximity. Face-to-face. Skin-to-skin. I could smell her all around me, her distinct scent permeating the air, and was distracted by how positively _edible _she smelt. I had to physically keep myself from pulling my lips back in a silent snarl. It was the demon within me, I was fairly sure, that loathed being dominated like this. I wanted to reverse our position, to pin her down and _show _her who her Master wa-

**'That's right, pup. _Just _like that.'** Shukaku's voice broke my thoughts, loud and clear, and I blinked at the distraction. Sakura's body invading my personal space, Shukaku's voice invading my mind... I was fairly certain I just might go into sensory overload.

_Get out._ I could barely think the words. Time seemed to stop. My thoughts and movements seemed increasingly sluggish.

**'That's your own fault,'** the demon said bitterly, hinting at the fact that I didn't release him more often. But I wasn't very fond of the idea of setting the tanuki loose to eat away at my personality, thank you very much.

_Shut. Up. _

_Dammit_, why did he have to ruin _everything_!? It was enough to make my blood boil, and send me into a mental fit of rage. I nearly wanted to whine at the injustice of it all. Why me? Why _me_?

**'Sorry. Can't.' **

That was a lie. He simply didn't want to be quiet.

_Why?_

**'Because it's boring in here.'**

_Shukaku!_

My mental tone screamed of the words, 'I'll kill you', but I knew such a frivolous thought was pointless. I couldn't kill him. No one could, really.

**'You're making progress with the girl, I see.'** The chuckle in his words threw me off. **'It's only a matter of time, then.'**

_Time? What are you talking about, demon?_ If I could have growled the words, I most certainly would have done just that.

**'Oh, lots of things.'** I could feel his cold, maniacal grin. Shukaku's madness was my own, true, but sometimes I forgot that the demon was actually more insane that I was. He had enough insanity to pass around, after all. **'Power. Death.'**

A chilling laugh.

**'Sex.'**

_... WHAT?_

**'You heard me.'**

I had, but I dared not admit it.

_Just what the hell are you planning!?_

Another chuckle, one that sounded decidedly unhinged.

**'Why, your future, of course, little pup!'**

I-... I literally had nothing to say to that one. My demon was planning my _future_? Essentially _looking out_ for me? Or was there some kind of ulterior motive (There had to be. He was a _demon_.) behind this sick sort of kindness?

**'Speechless?'**

Hell yes I was.

_... You're an idiot._

It was my fallback phrase, when I didn't know how else to respond.

I dug further into my mind, hoping to draw the bijuu closer to the forefront of my thoughts, so maybe I could catch a glimpse of what he was planning, but was once against distracted by the closeness of Sakura's body, and the way her bubblegum pink locks brushed against the sides of my face.

The kiss.

_A_ kiss.

It all came rushing back to me, making my fingers twitch and my eyes ache with the need to fall shut. Sakura was hovering above me at this very moment, her lips so warm, so hot, so achingly close I suddenly couldn't even _think _about the conversation with my demon, or his confusing, stilted words. The only human being capable of touching me was going to kiss me. Again. Properly, this time, and on her own terms. I could barely comprehend that this was happening. It felt surreal, like a dream - I imagined this heady rush of bottled up emotions was the sort of feeling a dream might invoke. I'd never known the experience, of course.

My lips parted slightly, as if I was about to say something, but no words came out. The pink-haired girl's eyes fluttered down to gaze at my mouth, a quick look of worry entering her light emerald eyes before a strange sort of determination settled in them.

A kiss.

I was going to get a-

A sudden, dominating presence chilled my skin, making me snap my head in the direction of the intruder even before he coughed loudly to gain our attention.

Uchiha Sasuke.

Leave it to the orphaned brat to ruin my moment.

Sakura froze above me at the sound, a dark blush staining her features at the thought of being caught with the likes of me. Served her right, then. If she was ashamed to admit our fake 'courtship' in private, then I would only gladly make her suffer even more under the scrutiny of her so-called friends. He blush darkened when she finally looked up and snapped her attention towards the looming figure standing on the peak of the rooftop, just behind us, staring at our provocative position closer to the edge of the roof.

"Sa-Sasuke!" Sakura was the first to break the increasingly awkward silence, her cheeks going an ever brighter red as she put a name to the face now staring at her with a look that was a mix between anger and disgust.

I'd bet the arrogant Uchiha thought himself skilled at hiding his emotions. Compared to the shinobi of the Sand, the pitiful boy was practically an open book.

The kunoichi blanched, pushing off of me as if my very skin now burned her. I didn't protest - didn't stop her. What was the point? She would have hated me ever more, later, and I was fairly certain even that small show of possessiveness would grate on the Uchiha's nerves enough to start a fight then and there. Something I wouldn't have minded, really, save for the fact that me and my teammates were supposed to lay low for a while.

Killing a village's child prodigy would most likely be frowned upon. Despite how satisfying the act would be.

I breathed out once, slowly, then lifted up, standing with a sort of clumsy grace - expending too much effort for the task of standing was simply too pointless. I didn't have a natural grace or ease of movement, like the Leaf shinobi glaring at me now. My sand was flowing enough for the both of us. I supposed over time, with more training, I would be able to handle myself in hand-to-hand combat better than now, or evolve my technique with the sand beyond its already superior defense and attack mechanisms. But even though I hadn't yet reached my full potential, I couldn't help but smirk at the decidedly arrogant thought that crossed my mind.

I was still stronger than the Uchiha.

He knew it, too. I could tell by the defensive stance he took up in my presence, even when I simply walked over to retrieve the gourd that had been pushed to the side a little earlier. I took my slow time in adjusting it back to my body, aligning the straps and buckles just right for a more comfortable fit. There was nothing worse than getting a rash on your back from a heavy gourd rubbing against it all day. Awful, really.

Sakura herself decided to fill this awkward void with mundane conversation.

"S-so... Sasuke-kun! How have the exams gone? I'd heard the written test was really tough this y-"

"Shut up."

I, personally, bristled at the Uchiha's tone, even though the words weren't even directed at me. Briefly, I wondered if the kunoichi would stand for such a thing as-

"Ah, yeah. Sorry, sorry."

... Of course. Typical female.

This time, I _did _roll my eyes, though my back was turned towards the other two. Honestly, their interaction sickened me. Why would Sakura submit like that? She never submitted so much with me! I realized that I was intensely jealous of this fact. True, Sakura was terrified of me... but she didn't idolize me like she idolized the Uchiha. She didn't respect my words, no matter how clipped a tone I gave her. She wasn't so... so... utterly whipped!

"What are you doing here? With _him_?"

I smiled at the stress on that last word. I'd heard that tone many, many times before. It only served to amuse me now. 'Him', the monster. 'Him', the bastard.

'Him', the one who could kill you with a simple motion of the hand, if you didn't watch your words.

_You'll learn, soon enough, Uchiha._

I determined, then, that I would _especially _enjoy crushing the arrogant prodigy's skull when the invasion finally took place.

After a moment of silent, morbid contemplation, I turned around to witness the sight of a nervous, stuttering Sakura, and a rather blatantly furious Sasuke...

... Who was staring directly at me.

_Hn. Of course._

I flashed him a smirk, lowering my head a bit and glancing up at him with narrowed eyes. Truly, I considered the boy before me as nothing more than a less advanced mirror-image of myself. He was on the road to becoming what I already was. Now, he simply needed to destroy all his ties to this world, kill off the bonds and precious ones that kept him safe, and allow his mind to stew and rot in insanity for a few long years. Then he might be at my level.

Maybe.

It could have been arrogance dictating my thoughts, but I liked to think otherwise.

"Well... Um. You see, I was just taking a walk. And, ah... Well, it's not what it looks like!"

It most certainly _was _what it looked like.

I flashed Sakura a contemptuous glance to show my displeasure. She sputtered, glancing between me and the raven-haired boy, obviously trying to determine what to do next. Side with her long-time obsession? Or side with the shinobi currently blackmailing her?

Decisions, decisions.

Fortunately, Sasuke took the choice out of her hands by taking a step closer to me. His head lowered a bit as well, and the cold look he flashed my way very nearly rivaled my own. His eyes... they were the same as mine. Lonely. Hateful.

I second-guessed my first assumption.

Maybe he already _was _insane?

... I was still stronger, though. My pride wouldn't let me think otherwise.

"What were you doing with her?"

_Just lounging around, fully prepared to touch and/or kiss your little lackey into oblivion._

"Nothing."

"That didn't _look _like 'nothing'." He took a step closer.

"Maybe you should get your eyes checked, then?" I full-out smirked, basking in the heated glare he threw my way.

"My eyes are fine," he said, smirking a secretive kind of smile which, for a moment, puzzled me. He was supposed to be _angry _at the comment, dammit! Not amused!

We stood for a moment, staring at each other, at a complete standstill. Sakura had taken up Sasuke's previous position standing atop the apex of the roof, her emerald eyes glowing bright in the night as she stared at us with a torn expression on her face. If the Uchiha was an open book, then Sakura practically dictated her every thought to any passerby that happened to look at her with some level of attentiveness.

The Konoha prodigy followed my gaze, glancing back, then whipped his head around to stare at me with a hateful glare.

"Stay away from her."

"We're teammates," I stated blandly.

"No, _we're_ teammates! Stay. Away."

Jealousy? Now _that _was interesting. I didn't think the Uchiha had any emotional ties towards the girl. In fact, I had been fairly certain he utterly _despised _her - and I was usually a pretty good judge of character, despite my own antisocial tendencies. The look in his eyes was far from concerned, though, and it took me only a moment to place it.

... It was a challenge.

He wasn't telling me to stay away from someone he cared about. He was telling me to stay away... simply because he _could_. He must have felt that Sakura, being a shinobi of the Leaf village like himself, would remain utmost loyal to his cause. He was confident in his ability to wrench the girl away from my grasp, effectively depriving an addict of his drug.

My smirk widened as I realized he had_ no idea_ what kind of deal Sakura and I had made. A deal that, if broken, would mean making her appear both incompetent, disloyal, and _dead_. Still, her utter obsession with the boy would prove a challenge, but I wasn't completely out of the running yet. I simply had to lie to her. I had to make her think that I was better than the Uchiha.

Oh, it was on.

"Sakura," I spoke, my voice still monotonous, but a notch lower than the raven-haired boy's harsh tone. "Come here."

"Wh-what?"

She was confused, standing on the rooftop in a neutral, though tense, stance. She had probably determined to sit this one out, and remain detached from the preceding. There was no way she could win, after all.

"Come here." My words were still quiet, but held a hint of command to them. She would not disobey.

The Uchiha seemed to recognize my game instantly, though, and as soon as Sakura had taken a hesitant step forward, he spoke up.

"No, Sakura. Stay there."

The way we were positioned, Sakura was standing roughly behind Sasuke, his back turned towards the girl as he faced me defensively. Like some kind of 'protector.' Like a hero.

I could have snorted, but settled for crossing my arms instead.

The kunoichi froze, so used to following her teammate's every command, glancing between him and me. Unlike the Uchiha, my back wasn't turned towards the girl, and instead of gracing the other boy with the same kind of hateful glare he was directing towards me, I turned my eyes towards Sakura instead. She watched me for a long moment, though her gaze held a different kind of scrutiny than the Uchiha's. Hers was softer, more open. More willing to understand, you could say.

The pink-haired girl wasn't stupid by any means. I'd found that out over our short amount of time together. She knew that I was trying to one-up her precious 'Sasuke-kun'. I only wondered if she realized he was trying to one-up _me_, as well. She might have been too blinded by his sudden protectiveness to see it for what it really way. I wasn't sure. The thought bugged me, though. More than I would have liked to admit.

"Sasuke," she finally spoke, her voice soft and just the slightest bit quavery. "We... we were talking about our mission."

She was such an awful liar.

"Oh, really?" The prodigy wasn't convinced, and I couldn't really blame him. Still...

I took a quick step forward, an action that caused the Uchiha to tense and shift into a fighting stance. He was quick - I would give him that much. I shot him a cold, arrogant smirk, then took another step forward, this time a little further away from the other boy, angling my body towards the girl behind him.

"Really," I stated flatly, watching Sakura the whole time. She blinked once, twice, and threw me what was almost a grateful look.

Tch. Whatever. This lie was for my benefit, as well.

"You're not going anywhere."

So confident, the raven-haired boy. So confident, and so misguided.

"Oh, really?" I asked, mimicking his words from a moment ago, and throwing him a blunt look. "We're leaving," I said to Sakura, in a tone that would indicate two friends who had just been intruded upon, rather than two enemies who were simply trying to perform a business transaction.

"Gaara, wait, I-"

"Don't you _dare _run away from me, you little-"

Too late.

I had already taken the five short strides it took to reach Sakura's side, and before she could even protest, my arms wrapped around her in what most certainly looked like a crushing embrace. I caught a glimpse of the Uchiha's livid, angry features, and thought for a moment that his eyes had gone red, but quickly brushed the little hallucination off. Sakura clutched angrily at the front of my shirt, her fingernails scrapping harshly along the buckles that held my strap in place. Quickly, before either of them could protest, my sand began that quick, familiar swirl around my form, gaining speed with each passing moment. It created a vortex around Sakura and I as I hunched over, blocking her body from the harsh sting of tiny sand granules. I held the hand seal behind her back, fingers threaded together to form an effective clasp in an effort to keep the girl pressed as closely to me as possible.

I'd never teleported with someone else before, but I trusted in my abilities enough to keep from accidentally fusing both our bodies together when we reformed. I simply had to concentrate on Sakura's shaking form a little more than usual. I didn't want to accidentally miss transporting a particular limb, after all. Something told me the kunoichi wouldn't appreciate that.

She would hate me in the morning. I was fairly certain of that. But at least I had won this battle.

Besides, the Uchiha was taking that mundane Chuunin exam, while I was otherwise occupied with teaming up with Sakura for most every day.

I had plenty of time to win her over.

The Uchiha had set a challenge, and I wasn't about to back down.

* * *

_R&R? :)_

_I'm actually thinking about doing the next few chapters in a different style. The fiction that inspired me to write this story in first-person POV in the first place (Which, surprisingly enough, isn't even from the Naruto fandom.) just updated after about a year. I adore their style, and was just thinking that it might actually be better to try something a little more active - going a little more quickly between important scenes, instead of focusing on just a single day or two for ten chapters. -.-_

_We'll see._

_Also, I certainly didn't want to come off as bashing Sasuke. Remember, all that was written in Gaara's POV, not necessarily mine. ;)  
_

_Hope you liked this chapter, and thanks again for the wonderful reviews!_

_- Kodu_


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